I love sharing quotations with you and I have more of them than I have limericks. I know that’s hard to believe but it’s true. Most quotations are meant to offer up some sort of truth or to pluck at our sentimental heartstrings. Those are all fine and good but really not the ones I like best. I love celebrity quotes because most of them are humorous, and they help to humanize celebrities that always need a little humanizing. Here are a few I discovered.
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas A. Edison
“Music should strike fire from the heart of man and bring tears from the eyes of woman.” Ludvig von Beethoven
“Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.” Ogden Nash
“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.” Sir Paul McCartney
“I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.” Fran Leibowitz
“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.” Mark Twain
“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
LET’S HOPE THEY NEVER STOP REGALING US WITH THEIR WISDOM
If you’ve read this blog at all your well aware that I love citing quotations. I’m a firm believer that quotes that are remembered and repeated often have some sort of meaning that touches people. Unfortunately, some quotable people offer up quotes that are remembered for their stupidity and ignorance. Today I will cite a few that I’d prefer to forget, and I hope you will as well.
“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” Mariah Carey
“We went to Atari and said, “Hey, we’ve got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us?” They said, “No.” So, then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, “We don’t need you. You haven’t got through college yet.” Steve Jobs looking for financial backers for the Mac.
“Atomic energy might be as good as our present-day explosives, but it is unlikely to produce anything very much more dangerous.” Sir Winston Churchill
“The Edison Company offered me the general superintendency of the company but only on condition that I would give up my gas engine and devote myself to something really useful.” Henry Ford
“True, I’ve been a long time making up my mind, but now I’m giving you a definite answer. I won’t say yes, and I won’t say no, but I’m giving you a definite maybe.” Samuel Goldwyn
“Rock ‘n Roll is phony and false, and some, written, and played for the most part by cretinous goons.” Frank Sinatra 1957
“I believe that Mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn’t wear fur coats, those little animals would never have been born. So, is it better not to have been born, or to have lived for one or two years to have been turned into a fur coat? I don’t know.” Playmate Barbie Benton
I think that’s about enough of these stupid quotes but unfortunately during my research I discovered there’s probably many more of these than the one’s worth remembering.
Everyone seems to love old TV shows, old movies, and any and all celebrities. Here’s a collection of film and TV trivia items from the past. Enjoy them if you can. Call an older family member or friend for help if necessary.
The waist size of bus driver Ralph Kramden’s uniform on the hit show, The Honeymooners, was 49 1/4 inches.
Do you remember that the TV characters, Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball, were married on the show at the Byram River Beagle Club in Greenwich, Connecticut?
During his 30-year run as the host of the Tonight Show, Johnny Carson delivered 4531 monologues.
The Clampett family from the Beverly Hillbillies TV show originated from a home in the Ozarks called Hooterville. It also served as the setting for two spinoff series, Petticoat Junction and Green Acres.
Bob Clampett who created the Bugs Bunny cartoon character was inspired when he saw an actor munching a carrot in a movie. That actor was Clark Gable.
Groucho Marx’s real first name was Julius.
The 14th screen Tarzan, former LA Rams linebacker Mike Henry, sued for physical and mental injury following his third and final film when he was bitten by Dinky the Chimp.
Lucille Ball became an official redhead at age 30, after 12 years as a platinum blonde and 18 as a natural brunette.
The 1955 movie, King Kong with Fay Wray, was the first Hollywood film shown on television after the US movie industry ended its ban.
One of our favorite actresses, Farrah Fawcett, had a plumbing fixture named after her. It was a gold plated “Farrah Faucet”.
Let me start by saying I hate flying. Over the last 30 years I must’ve flown 500 times while working for a number of companies. It was “white knuckle” all the way for me, every flight, every airline. I had no choice but to fly but I didn’t like it one bit and still don’t. It was not the actual flying that bothered me, only the people flying the plane. I’m too much of a control freak to be comfortable having someone else with my life in their hands and that’s never going to change. Since we’re talking about airplanes today here are a few tidbits about the history of aviation.
Twenty-one of the first twenty-three astronauts who flew on space missions were either an only child or were firstborn sons.
The first aerial photograph was taken from a balloon during the United States Civil War.
After the first moon walk, in 1969, Pan American Airlines began accepting reservations for commercial flights to the moon, dates and time unspecified. More than 80,000 requests poured in immediately.
The first coast-to-coast airplane flight in the United States from New York City to Pasadena, California, by Galbraith P. Rogers in 1911, took 49 days. Obviously, there were many, many stops.
After the Wright brothers had flown four times on that historic day in 1903 at Kitty Hawk, a gust of wind overturned and wrecked their wooden flyer. They stuffed the pieces and fabric coverings into barrels and shipped them back to their bicycle shop in Dayton Ohio.
A German inventor placed an engine on an aircraft in 1900 and flew it successfully, three years before the Wright brothers. The inventor was Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin, but the aircraft was not heavier than air. Von Zeppelin had invented the dirigible – the “Zeppelin”.
The first “airmail” letter in the United States was written by President George Washington, who gave it to the Frenchman, John Pierre Blanchard, to carry with him on the first balloon flight in America.
Astronauts circling the earth may get to see 16 sunrises and 16 sunsets every day.
The first freight shipped by air from Chicago was loaded under an armed guard. Handled by National Air Transport, in 1927, the item was a “ten gallon” Stetson hat to be delivered to Will Rogers, the popular comedian.
A 31-year-old airplane mechanic named Douglas Corrigan took off in his monoplane from Floyd Bennett Field in New York in July 1938, and supposedly headed towards his home in California. The next day he landed in Ireland, saying, “I guess I flew the wrong way.” He became famous, paraded down Broadway, made a movie, and earned the nickname that stuck with him from then on, “Wrong Way Corrigan”.
Since the weather for the last two weeks has been iffy, I’ve been forced to binge watch a boatload of movies. Some were good, some were bad, and some were just awful. As much as I enjoy the current crop of movies with all of their special effects, I still enjoy going back 40 or 50 years and watching some of the classics. I hope the weather changes soon because truthfully, I’m getting really tired of watching movies. With that thought in mind I decided to offer up some good old movie trivia facts. I hope you find a few things that surprise you.
We all loved that high squeaky voice that Mickey Mouse had in his early movies. The person responsible for that voice is none other than Walt Disney himself.
In a charity event in 1984, Elton John was featured as ‘Mother Goose’. Sir John Gielgud costarred as the Egg Yolk.
In the Muppet Movie, Miss Piggy’s singing voice was dubbed by Johnny Mathis.
In his early years, Dean Martin, boxed under the name Kid Crochet.
In the 1939 film, The Return of Dr. X, one of the zombies was played by Humphrey Bogart.
Jor-el
In the 1931 film Public Enemy starring Jimmy Cagney, the musical theme of the movie was “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles”.
The famous actor John Barrymore had a vulture for a pet that would sit on his knee and hiss.
The beautiful Belgian born Audrey Hepburn changed her name from Edda van Heemstra upon her arrival in Hollywood.
Temperamental star Marlon Brando’s was paid 3.7 million dollars for his brief appearance as Jor-el in the first Superman movie. He also sued the production company and received another 15 million for his share of the box-office receipts.
In the 1920’s film Every Sailor, one of the beautiful and talented chorus girls in the show was Jimmy Cagney.
I was pleased to see that yesterday’s post on sports trivia was well received. I thought I’d expand it a little more today.
In 1994 NY Giant’s linebacker Lawrence Taylor played his last game. He took a small but poignant souvenir from that game which was the referee’s yellow flag. He felt that he deserved it because the refs “throw it against me often enough”.
Walter Payton the famous Chicago Bears running back missed only one game during his 13-year career. He carried the ball more often (3838 times) for more yards (16,726) and scored more rushing touchdowns (110) than anyone else.
In 1925 the Dartmouth football team contained 22 members of the Phi Beta Kappa honor society.
Golfing great Ben Hogan is also known for his famous reply when asked how someone can improve their game. It’s short and simple answer is still true today, “Hit the ball closer to the hole.”
After retiring as a player, Babe Ruth spent one year as a coach for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1938.
Roger Bannister
In 1912, at the Stockholm Olympics, electric timing devices and a public address systems were used for the first time.
Famed fullback Jim Brown while attending Syracuse University in the mid-1950s also played lacrosse. and made All-American.
In June 1938 the Cincinnati Reds southpaw pitcher John Vandermeer pitched two no-hitters. They were the only two he ever threw, and they were consecutive. He pitched the first one against the Boston Braves and then his next game he pitched one against the Brooklyn Dodgers.
Ty Cobb was the only major league baseball player to have a brand of cigarettes named after him.
In 1979 New York Yankee manager Billy Martin had a confrontation with a marshmallow salesman and lost his job.
In in 1954 Roger Bannister, was named the Sports Illustrated magazines first Sportsman of the Year for breaking the four-minute mile.
Since I was talking about Little League baseball in my last post, I thought a little more sports trivia might be interesting. Here are a few tidbits from baseball and football that you might be aware of, and you may not. Enjoy . . .
Baseball
In the early days of baseball, players were permitted to throw the ball at a runner for an out and pitching underhanded. Balls caught on one bounce were considered outs.
The team who won the first recorded game of baseball was the New York Nine. They beat the New York Knickerbockers 23 to 1 in 1846. By 1857, 16 New York area clubs were playing baseball under the auspices of the National Association of Baseball Players (NABBP), the sports first governing body.
1903 was the first year in which a World Series was played. The Boston Americans (American League) beat the Pittsburgh Pirates (National League) in a best-of-seven nine-game series. Five years later, the Boston Americans rebranded themselves as the Boston Red Sox.
It is commonly believed that Glenn Burke of the Los Angeles Dodgers, gets credited for the invention of the high-five. During the final game of the 1977 regular season, Dodger player Dusty Baker hit a home run and was greeted in the dugout with the high-five slapped by teammate Glenn Burke. The rest is history.
Football
President Theodore Roosevelt is credited with instituting the forward pass rule in football. He demanded a change to footballs rules in 1905, after 18 players were killed and 159 injured that year. The forward pass was intended to open up the game and minimize the chaotic dog piles associated with lateral passing. The rule was adopted in 1906.
The original name of the Oakland Raiders was the Oakland Senors. It was the winning entry in a 1959 test sponsored by the Oakland Tribune to name the new franchise.
The Chicago Bears are the only current NFL team playing in its original city, under its original name. They’ve been the Chicago Bears since 1921.
It is estimated that 78% of professional football players are bankrupt or in severe financial trouble after retiring from the NFL. That’s after just two years of retirement.
Deion Sanders in 1989, played in the Super Bowl for the Atlanta Falcons and in the World Series for the New York Yankees. He’s also the only person to have scored a touchdown and hit a major league home run in the same week.
Just sitting here this morning with three layers of clothes on and my feet still feel like blocks of ice. We decided to turn off the heat two weeks ago to save a few bucks when we thought “Spring had Sprung”, but we should’ve known better. Wrong again. Never let it be said that Maine doesn’t fail to deliver on crappy weather. So here I sit at my computer with my little space heater preparing to supply you with some straight facts you didn’t know you needed to know. Here they are . . .
The world’s oldest surviving recipe is a formula for making beer. It was discovered outside Baghdad in 1850 on a 3800-year-old Sumerian clay tablet.
A fetus acquires fingerprints by the end of the first trimester.
In 2003, the personal fortune of JK Rowling, best-selling British author of the widely popular Harry Potter books, surpassed that of the Queen of England.
Voltaire, the French philosopher, novelist, and ardent atheist, once held up the Bible and proclaimed, “In 100 years this book will be forgotten, eliminated.” Less than 50 years after his death, the Geneva Bible Society bought his house in order to produce and distribute Bibles.
You can in fact get cooties. Cooties are lice.
George Clooney once vowed never to remarry or have children, but Michelle Pfeiffer and Nicole Kidman each bet $10,000 that he’d be a father by age 40. On Clooney’s 40th birthday (May 6, 2001), the actresses conceded defeat and sent their checks. Clooney returned their money, betting double or nothing that he wouldn’t have any kids before turning 50.
Cigars are called “stogies” because pioneer drivers of Conestoga covered wagons made in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, preferred the long, cheap cigars available in that region. Over time, “Conestoga” was shortened to “stogie.”
The term “What in tarnation!” derives from the expression “What in eternal damnation!”
The percentage of American men who say they’d marry the same woman if they had to do it all over again: 80%. The percentage of American women who say the same: 50%.
There are 2,598,960 possible hands in Texas Hold ‘Em.
As someone who’s crazy for limericks of all kinds, I thought I’d introduce a new contributor to this blog. The name is John Ciardi, and he was a close friend of Isaac Azimov, my favorite limerick author. They partnered up back in the 70’s and wrote a book of their limericks. It was a limerick war between the two as part of their competitive friendship. I’ve blogged many of Azimov’s limericks and I think it’s only fair to give Mr. Ciardi equal time. Here are a few of his gems.
everyuselessthing.com 