Archive for the ‘Journal’ Category
I spent the first two hours of my day today in bed drinking coffee and watching a dozen or so TED speeches. If your not familiar with TED I’d recommend it to you whole heartedly. It’s a series of speeches from experts around the world on a diverse collection of topics. The anagram of TED stands for, “Technology, Education, & Design”.
‘It sure isn’t the Sistine Chapel!’’
My main topics for today concerned Creativity and the Arts. Listening to people from Bali who design green homes from bamboo or others from Europe who specialize in the creation of designs and art is exciting. It’s nice to know that Creativity is alive and well on this planet and not getting lost in the technological hustle and bustle of our societies.
I’ve always been a proponent and supporter of anyone or anything that creates something. The best times of my life are those spent where I’m relaxed, alone with my thoughts, and putting paper to pencil. Either writing, drawing, painting, or sculpting, it’s all good. With that in mind I thought I’d share a quick look at my lair. It’s my oasis filled with my things and represents my life in one small room.
For twenty years I saved every little doodad, birthday card, and memento from places I’ve been and people I’ve known. Then I began making a series of collages or “life panels” of those years. It started out as two small panels but grew to more than nine with some of them measuring 4’X4’.
‘This is what I call a workspace.’
I never had a sufficient amount of wall space and I had them in storage for twenty years. I moved them from place to place until I finally settled down here in Maine. I still didn’t have the wall space for them and finally decided to make them the ceiling of my so-called man-cave.
Now I can sit at my desk surrounded by things that make me happy. I can lean back in my chair and look up at the ceiling and see the people, places, and things that I’ve experienced in my life. The photos in this posting are a quick peek into the craziness of that space that I’ve had the pleasure of creating.
EVERYONE NEEDS A HAPPY PLACE
It’s been a beautiful and almost warm morning today which allowed me to get busy in the garden for a couple of hours. I’ve been doing my best to get all of the preliminary chores out of the way as soon as possible. Today was the day.
I was worried about my old rototiller as always. It’s been used hard for six years and I’m always concerned that it won’t start. To my surprise the little sweetheart started right up without any hesitation. Say what you want, those Sears Craftsmen tools are hard to kill. That was the best $150.00 I ever spent.
It took about 45 minutes to finish and now the soil is well mixed and loose down to about 14 inches. All of the root vegetables this year will be loving life. Here’s the finished product.
As you can see I finished rototilling and immediately began installing the fabric. I’m reusing most of the fabric from last year which will save me a few bucks. Thanks to this fabric 2016 will be a weed free year.
Next on my list was installing the sprinklers. I ran the hoses through the frames and fencing and attached the sprinklers. They should give me more than enough coverage for the entire garden.
Right in the middle of my workday the grand kids arrived to take their grandmother on a walk. I took a few minutes to chase the oldest one around the yard and to wrestle a little. A short time later they left for their walk and I returned to my final task for the day. The compost pile.
A few days ago I found a product in a garden center which when added to a compost pile promotes decomposition. I took the rototiller to the compost pile and stirred things up a bit. I sprinkled the product liberally through the piles, mixed them in, and covered everything with a tarp. It should make the compost I use later this year and next much richer.
With my list for today completed I can relax for a while. A nice hot shower will feel great and give me enough energy to get out and run a few errands. Since the better-half is working this evening my time is my own. Here’s a shot of the garden, end-to-end.
ALL I NEED NOW IS WARM TEMPERATURES
More aches and pains as the garden begins to take shape. I’m trying to do as much work on it as I possibly can as early as I can. Last years efforts were almost ruined because I waited until the last minute to do much of the small things that are necessary. Learning from my mistakes is absolutely essential if I’m to have the garden I want.
Yesterday was another chilly morning but I was up and at it earlier than usual. I picked up my supplies the day before from Home Depot, the only store in the area that carried the type of fencing I needed. Here is the before photo on the newly completed frame without the fencing.
The fencing is made for controlling small animals such as rabbits and skunks which are my main problem. We have larger game in the area but they’ve never ben a problem for me. Fortunately I have a nearby neighbor with fruit trees and the deer love their fruit. The insist on visiting him on a regular basis and leaving me alone.
After an hour or so of cursing and swearing my job was completed. That should keep the little buggers out of the garden this year. I really dislike killing any animals so the cost of the fence is worth it to keep me guilt free. Here’s the photo of the completed fence.
If the weather warms up a little in the coming days I can drag out my rototiller to loosen up the soil. Then I can lay down the fabric into the frames which eliminates weeding completely because I hate weeding.
How about a little garden humor to start your day . . .
A woman’s garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes won’t ripen. There’s a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she’s getting tired of it. So she goes to her neighbor and says, "Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?” Her neighbor replies, "Well, it may sound absurd but here’s what to do. Tonight there’s no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they’ll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they’ll all be red, you’ll see.” Well, what the heck? She does it. The next day her neighbor asks how it worked. "So-so,” she answers, "The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer.”
Here’s a salute to everyone’s favorite redneck gardener, Jeff Foxworthy . . .
You Might be a Redneck Gardener If:
You mow your lawn and find a wheelbarrow.
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it is yellow.
You don’t water your front yard rather than mow it.
You know how many bags of fertilizer your car can hold.
You’ve even cleaned your house with a leaf blower.
You empty the trash when you have enough to fill up the pickup.
You can amuse yourself for more that an hour with a hose.
You’ve been cited for reckless driving on a riding lawn mower.
You move your weed-eater to take a bath.
And finally here is a cute limerick which any Maine gardener will appreciate . . .
I ordered some new bulbs by mail
and tried to grow orchids large scale
exotics won’t grow
under three feet of snow
or battered with blizzards and hail!
C’MON WARM WEATHER
I spent an hour this morning working in the garden and freezing my ass off. Another night in the mid-twenties and the fourth hard frost in as many nights. Gardening with a heavy coat, hat, and gloves is cumbersome to say the least. The garden frames have been upgraded and extra soil added to all of the areas. There’s nothing more left to do except add some fencing then relax on the deck until Spring decided to actually show up. This cold weather has got to go.
My better-half and I spent the last two weeks being good little dieters. No alcohol, no sugar, and no carbs. In other words we’ve been miserable. This morning’s weigh-in showed me down 5 pounds and her down 3. It’s a slow start but we have a long way to go to meet our final goals. So far, so good.
Our celebrating of our two week diet brought us to the Great Lost Bear tavern in Portland. It’s known for it’s excellent chicken wings and draws my better-half to it like a giant magnet. Her obsession for wings is beyond belief. She wolfed down a platter of the super hot variety while I had a chicken sandwich soaked in what they call their Hellfire sauce. The name is no joke, believe me. My mouth, throat and lips were burning for an hour after we left the establishment but it was so damn good. I remained alcohol free and settled for some rather good ice tea to help put out the fire in my mouth.
Tomorrow we sit down to discuss what will eventually be planted in our garden for this year. We’re hoping to change things up a little to have a more diverse selection of crops. The discussion should be interesting since we have totally different tastes in food. Every year it’s the same process but we’ve had much in the past with our decision making and who can argue with that.
Tonight will require another lengthy hot shower to work out all of the kinks, aches, and pains resulting from this mornings work. I’ve been looking forward to that shower all day.
WHAT’S BETTER THAN HOT WATER ON SORE MUSCLES?
Today is fast becoming a day of anticipated frustration for me. I’ve been waiting for almost two weeks and today is the day of my delivery of garden items from Lowe’s. Dealing with any big box store immediately becomes overly complicated as soon as you say the magic word, "Delivery". All of a sudden a simple purchase becomes a major project involving a dozen so-called experts who never fail to make things difficult for themselves and in turn, for me as well. Multiple telephone calls to verify the order, where to deliver it, and at what time of the day they might arrive. Much like cable TV companies they give you that oh-so convenient four hour window.
I’ve been assured by my better-half that things will go as planned but I’m skeptical. We’ll be leaving the house for a few hours to run errands and I can only pray that things go as ordered and get delivered. I’ve decided to wait to finish this post until later today once the delivery has been completed.
‘Day #1 – Start’
It’s a few hours later and I’m very happy with Lowes. Everything for the garden was delivered, on time, and in one piece. I guess my skepticism was unwarranted, sorry Lowes.
We both got right to work unloading almost 2 1/2 tons of bagged top soil and the lumber to rebuild one of the frames.
‘Old Frame Out – New Frame In’
“New Soil In’
I’m sitting on the deck as I write this post knowing ahead of time just how stiff and sore I’m sure to be tomorrow morning. Regardless, it’s a good stiff and sore. Gardening and working in the yard is like therapy for us and we actually look forward to and relish all of the aches and pains. Crazy, I know.
This day ended when we ran out of energy. Tomorrows another day and what wasn’t finished today will be taken care of then. Here’s the garden as we left it at the end of the day.
On to Day #2.
I’m being as lazy as I possibly can this morning and looking ahead to the beginning of a labor intensive Spring which is scheduled to begin on Thursday. Regardless of the cooler temperatures and crappy weather Lowe’s will be making a delivery which means much more work and a few aching muscles for me. It’s confusing for me to be so eager to get started with a project that will hurt so much but I’m forced to deal with the realities of the situation.
The garden is only moments away from becoming my main focus for at least the next three months. During that time I’ll be adding additional loam to all of the frames, fertilizing, and rototilling everything in sight to help loosen the soil. Then it’s just a matter of setting the fabric in place in all of the large frames to eliminate the need to weed this summer. Completing a general cleanup will then allow me to sit back and relaxing until the warmer temperatures decide to arrive.
Then comes the numerous trips to a selection of nurseries to purchase plants, plants, and more plants. Building and installing a few new trellises for the beans and snap peas as well as a box of .22 caliber ammunition for the assassination of the damn skunk. There are indications he’s already been visiting the property this year and I really have to get serious about ridding myself of him. With my luck he’ll have three or four relatives who’ll show up after his demise to make me even more crazy. It’s a wait and see situation for me, for him, and for them.
Welcoming the end of a rather lackluster winter season is something I’ve been looking forward to for months. In another month or two I’m sure to be complaining about the garden, the heat, the humidity, and wishing for Fall to arrive as soon on as possible. It’s a vicious cycle that we all seem to get caught up in every year.
Here’s my all time favorite garden quote. If it isn’t a little off-color then how can it be one of my favorites?
"A dirty hoe is a happy hoe."
For most of my life I’ve been lectured about religion by an oh-so Catholic mother. Part or her lecture series was to make sure I kept the Sabbath, “A Day of Rest”. It wasn’t until this morning, 60 years later, that I decided to remember that. According to my Mom it was a day to relax, reexamine your week, and be sorry for every rotten thing you did or even thought about doing. I always had more than enough things to review that it usually took me the entire day.
Since I no longer do bad things or think bad things it puts me into a quandary. What do I do with my Sundays these days? Being a well behaved and sinless person really opens up my Sundays for other activities. One of which is posting more useless, uninformative, and silly items of trivia.
Some of these tidbits are really and truly interesting but the other 99% are a waste of time. If you’re a clean living person like me then you too will have plenty of time today to read this nonsense. Since I’ve been watching a lot of English historical programs of late, I thought we should begin with these.
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As a prince, King Edward VI had a “whipping boy” named Barnaby Fitzpatrick, who was beaten every time the prince misbehaved during his lessons.
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The sirloin was introduced when King James I knighted a joint of beef (a loin), which was particularly tasty.
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King Charles I’s favorite joke was to place his court dwarf, Jeffrey Hudson, who was eighteen inches tall, between two halves of a loaf of bread and pretend to eat him.
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King Edward III died of gonorrhea, which he caught from his mistress when he was sixty-five years of age. Henry VIII and Edward VI also died of venereal disease.
So much for so-called royalty. They’re just plain disgusting pervs like the rest of us. Now onto some strikingly stupid mis-statements released by the Media. This should convince you just how overrated and inaccurate they really can be.
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“And now the sequence of events in no particular order.” – Dan Rather
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“We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to the weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather. – Actual Arab news report.
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“Passive activity income does not include the following income for an activity that is not a passive activity.” – I.R.S. form.
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“The Supreme Court rules that murderers shall not be electrocuted twice for the same crime.” – Cleveland Daily News
Now a few miscellaneous items in no particular order of importance.
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More than 200 people in West Virginia returned their license plates to the Motor Vehicle Bureau because they began with the letters “OJ”.
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Henry Ford never had a driver’s license.
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A survey of career women who had tattoos revealed that they preferred to adorn their left breast rather than their right by a ratio of three to one.
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In the early days of Hollywood, Western sets were made to seven-eighth scale to make the heroes seem larger.
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There are now said to be more Samoans in Los Angeles than in American Samoa.
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When W.C. Fields was caught glancing through the Bible, he explained it with, “Looking for loopholes.”
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In New Mexico more than eleven thousand people have visited a tortilla chip that has the face of Jesus Christ burned on it.
And for all of you dieters out these, here’s my favorite food quotation from Miss Piggy. “Never eat more than you can lift.”
HAVE A PEACEFUL DAY OF REST
After yesterdays shopping trip with my better-half I’m sitting here this morning trying to figure out exactly what kind of positive benefits I might have reaped from it as well as any negatives. The trip was relatively short compared to her usual shopping forays so I was forced to sit and read my Kindle at only three locations. Fortunately for me they were all in the Mall and out of the weather.
The positives.
Positive #1 – I sat an hour or so in the Mall out of the rain and cold weather.
Positive #2 – I had a free hour of reading time.
Positive #3 – I made my better-half happy by accompanying her.
Positive #4 – I was out of the house.
Positive #5 – I was able to continue my detailed study of black leggings and the effect they have on me when worn by skinny, well built, chubby, and the occasional obese woman.
Positive #6 – The good feelings that are generated by all those black leggings on the really well-built women.
Positive #7 – We ate a really delicious luncheon meal at Uno’s and:
Positive #8 – Our well-built waitress was wearing black leggings (that were even better than any dessert).
Now let’s move on to the negatives.
Negative #1 – I was forced to go out in the rain and cold weather to sit in an effing Mall.
Negative #2 – I wasted an hour of my precious time trying to read my Kindle in a crowded and annoying Mall.
Negative #3 – I remained silent and refused to voice my displeasure so not as to upset my better-half.
Negative #4 – I was taken to the Mall when my time could have been better spent at home with my X-Box.
Negative #5 – I was continuously distracted by a steady stream of women wearing black leggings.
Negative #6 – With all the hormones flying around because of the black leggings I was forced to remain seated the entire time (I hope you get my drift here).
Negative #7 – Eating out requires that I pay for a meal that I could have made at home for a fraction of the cost.
Negative #8 – Our waitress was way too efficient making numerous trips to our table to distract me from conversations with my better-half (it was those damn black leggings she was wearing).
Since the negatives cancelled out the positives I suppose you could say we had a reasonable day. Not outstanding but not terrible either. If it wasn’t for my better-half and all of those black leggings it could have been much less enjoyable. It’s amazing to me how our excellent relationship has developed over the years due to those thousands of little inconsequential compromises we make. Only one thing could have made our day better and close to absolute perfection.
MY BETTER-HALF NEEDS TO BUY A FEW PAIRS OF BLACK LEGGINGS !!
Critical Disclaimer: Darling this entire post was written with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. You’ll just have to compromise a bit for all of the sarcasm.
I thought that since today is once again cold and sunny I should dig into my trivia library for some interesting facts rather than going out to brave the weather. I might even find a few that aren’t so interesting but as always you can be the judge of that. These are items primarily related to cemeteries and funerals. I may be forced to throw in a few off-color limericks as well. Let’s get started.
Here’s an entry I’m adding just for my beer drinking better-half.
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A headstone in a cemetery at Saint Kilda, Victoria, Australia, depicts a hand holding a jug of beer. The headstone was the result of a threat often made by the widow to her thirsty husband.
This item amazes me. I can’t begin to understand the level of dedication this involves.
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In Nara, Japan, a lantern in the tomb of a Buddhist priest, Kyobo Daishi, in the monastery of Koya San has been burning continuously for 1126 years.
This one I can appreciate somewhat. The woman was truly dedicated to her profession, regardless of the consequences.
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The epitaph of the late Shirley Pitts of London, England, dubbed the “Queen of Shoplifters” reads, “Gone Shopping”.
Everyone loves a good “Love” story and here’s a beauty.
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“Husband: I anxiously awaiting you, 1827.” “Wife: Here I am, 1867 – Gravestones in a Paris, France cemetery.
Here are two entries concerning two stubborn fools.
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“Here stands old Britt Bailey” – Epitaph to James Britton Bailey, who was buried standing up because he refused to look up to any man.
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A tombstone in Weather Hill, New England, reads: “Here lies the body of Samuel Proctor, who lived and died without a doctor.”
Here are a few rather interesting approaches.
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A tombstone in a cemetery in Medway, Massachusetts, reads, “Beneath this stone, this lump of clay, lies Uncle Peter Daniels, who too early in the month of May, took off his winter flannels.”
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“Here lies the father of twenty-nine, He would have had more but he didn’t have time.” – Gravestone in Moultrie, Georgia.
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A gravestone near Uniontown, Pennsylvania: “Her lies the body of Jonathon Blake, stepped on the gas instead of the brake.”
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“Owen Moore Is gone away, Owen’ more than he could pay.” – Epitaph in Surrey, England.
And finally a proper send off for an attorney.
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The tombstone of an attorney in Willwood cemetery, Rockford, Illinois: “Goembel, John E. 1867-1946: The defense rests.”
Now for a couple of art related limericks.
For a sculpture that’s really first class,
You need form, composition, and mass;
To do a good Venus,
Just leave off the penis,
And concentrate more on the ass!
A lascivious lecher, called Fletcher,
Was also a talented sketcher.
Of ladies (quite nude)
He invariably screwed,
But did they enjoy it? You betcha!
I think that’s enough silliness for today. Look for more limericks in the future because I recently stumbled upon quite the collection, most from the British Isles. They have an excellent approach to raunchiness that I really admire.
I was happy yesterday when the last of that surprise April snow storm melted away. Spring Fever immediately returned and thoughts of gardening and yard work filled my stupid head. I rushed to Lowes after making a list of supplies including a new grill, a grill cover, and eighty 50 lb. bags of assorted potting soils and dirt. I was in heaven for the remainder of the day even though none of the stuff wouldn’t be delivered until next week but I didn’t care. I slept well dreaming about warm weather and many other Springtime activities. When I awoke this morning it was snowing again. I’m such an idiot.
As I was watching the snow flakes fly buy the window I remembered something else that was scheduled for today that I wasn’t looking forward to either. My better-half and I decided a few weeks ago that it was time to get rid of all of the extra holiday and winter weight we’d accumulated. Today was the start of our new and improved weight loss program (sarcasm). If that doesn’t depress the crap out of you nothing will.
We did our weight-in’s separately because neither one of us wanted to announce the results to the other. It’s just too effing depressing. This next month is going to be more than a little difficult but absolutely necessary. We both want to be healthier and thinner but the road to those things is a bumpy one. Eat more salads, less carbs, less calories, no snacking, no candy, no dairy, no alcohol, and OMFG just shoot me now. I’ll keep you posted on our progress regardless of the results.
I took a walk around the property a few days ago and it always amazes me just how resilient the plants are. We have things sprouting everywhere regardless of the snow and colder temperatures. Here are a feel quick snaps.
‘Chives’
‘Daffodils’
‘Rhubarb’
THE FUN SPRING IS JUST BEGINNING
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