Archive for the ‘Just Saying’ Category
I’m sticking with another journal entry today due in part to an incident that occurred yesterday. After having visitors for two days and really enjoying ourselves with them this incident gave us both a reality check we really didn’t need.
My better-half left for work at 6:30 am leaving me lounging half asleep in bed. I was just dozing off again when my cell phone started singing to me. Since she has a strange habit of forgetting things I immediately thought I’d be forced to get dressed and deliver her glasses or work keys to her like usual. I couldn’t have been more wrong. She was on the line and sobbing and told me she had been in an accident, her car was smashed, and could I get there right away.
I dressed quickly, grabbed my car keys and was out the door in five minutes. Fortunately the location of the accident was only a mile from the house. I arrived even before the police got there. She was still sitting in the car and thank God she had no apparent serious injuries. She was badly shaken and the car was demolished. She was unable to stand due to the surge of adrenaline that occurred and was a little disoriented by being thrown around by the impact. The person who hit her broadside was there as well and was just as shaken. The other driver had been driving a huge SUV that suffered almost no damage except for a few large scratches on the front bumper.
It was a four way intersection with a flashing red light. As my better-half came to a stop, she allowed the car on the road to her right to cross first. As that car crossed the intersection she slowly started through herself. She was almost through the intersection when the SUV traveling the same direction as the first car sped through and stuck her on the passenger side spinning her vehicle completely around.
I spent an hour calling AAA, the cops, and the insurance companies. As the car was being towed away she had tears in her eyes. I brought her home and made an unsuccessful attempt to calm her down. We spent the day together but she remained totally distracted by what had occurred. It wasn’t until late last night that she started returning to normal but still adamantly refused to drive my car to work for her next shift. I knew it was important that she get back into any car to drive again as soon as possible but she fought me all the way.
I’m standing her now in the window watching her drive away in my car and I’ll probably hold my breath for the next ten minutes until she arrives at work. I really didn’t let her see just how upset I was because it would have freaked her out. All I can think about is that she could just as easily have been badly injured or killed. She was so very lucky. Now I can relax a little and try to put the whole damn thing out of my mind as best I can. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to her.
Love is like that.
It’s time for a regular journal entry to help me to catch up on things as the summer moves along. The heat wave has finally broken and we’re having a few intermittent rain showers on some really beautiful and sunny days. For the past few days we’ve had family visitors from Rhode Island who needed a little Maine getaway to clear their heads and breath some clean fresh air.
The guests arrived late yesterday evening after a bout with car problems. It’s funny (or not) how and when batteries decide to die. It’s never in your driveway but always on the road, miles from anywhere, and raining. We were up chatting and catching up until 2am and and slept in the next morning since it was lightly raining. It gave us a chance to shop for a new battery and install it before the rain ended. That evening we decided a visit to the Old Orchard Beach amusement park was in order and we had a great time.
The rain stopped and the tourists and visitors were out in large numbers enjoying the cool evening air. We hit the arcades for a few games and after blowing ten bucks throwing bean bags at balloons I won an ugly green stuffed animal. My better-half was thrilled and I’ll probably be seeing that stupid thing for the rest of my life. She bonded with it immediately and gave it a cutsy name before we even returned home. Our group rode a few rides , took lots of photo’s, and had a really fun evening.
We were in bed at a reasonable hour in anticipation of an early start in the morning. We visited a local church fair the next day. It’s one we attend annually and really enjoy. My better-half loves the flea market and I’m there for the excellent french fries and hot sausage sandwiches. They have a huge tent filled with books at dirt cheap prices and I’m usually able to buy enough books to get me through the winter.
Our visitors left after a few hours to return home to Rhode Island. The better-half and I stayed a while longer after running into a few old friends. She loves the raffles and spent the last hour sitting at a table and filling out raffle tickets. The worst thing to happen last year was that she won one of the small raffles. Now she’s hooked and thinks she’s going o win every year. It’s all for a good cause though but I just wish she’d win something I could use.
All in all a good couple of days as we start our march towards the Fall season. I love the fact that there’s sure to be a small community fair almost every weekend from now until late October. Lots of fairs and lots of fun.
I have a long time friend who has slipped in and out of my life for more than thirty years. He’s just turned eighty but is as spry and active as ever. He’s a part-time researcher for the History channel and always has his head in the game. He occasionally sends me interesting tidbits of things that interest him and they’re always fun to read. Here’s one.
The following information is presented as likely topics of conversations taking place around an office water cooler circa 1955. To many of you it may seem that 1955 was a thousand years ago but chronologically speaking it wasn’t. I was nine years old in 1955 and I’m able to remember listening to my parents as they discussed many of the topics you’re about to read.
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Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter?
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If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.
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When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon? Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage.
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I’m afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.
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I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.
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Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if someday they’ll be making more than the President.
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I never thought I’d see the day when all of our kitchen appliances would be electric. They’re even making electric typewriters now.
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It’s too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet. It won’t be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.
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I’m afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign import business.
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Thank goodness I won’t live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to government.
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The fast food restaurant is convenient for a quick meal, but I seriously doubt they’ll ever catch on.
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There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel.
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No one can afford to be sick anymore. At $15.00 a day in the hospital, it’s too rich for my blood.
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If they think I’ll pay 30 cents for a haircut, forget it.
That’s what’s now being called the “good old days”. Good in many ways, bad in others but truthfully a much simpler way of life. I’m sure there are a lot of young parents now who would prefer raising their children in that sort of atmosphere rather than the one we’re living in.
Know your past.
Yesterday I was out and about running errands and enjoying the sunshine and cooler weather. It was a perfect day to people watch and I dedicated a large portion of my time to doing just that.
It always amazes me just how much interaction with others occurs while waiting in line at register checkouts. For me these checkouts seems to have taken the place of those good old water cooler conversations of the past. Being in line forces us to allow others into our private zone where conversation and observation are almost unavoidable. Normally this circumstance is a pain in the butt but yesterday it was a little different.
The store was jammed with people. Tourists as always were underfoot and it seemed like every household in the state had family members grocery shopping. Kids were running around, people chatting in the aisles, and a general air of enjoyment which I thought was a little unusual. As I stood in the checkout line the women directly in front of me was placing her purchases on the counter while her daughter (2 or 3 years old) sat quietly in the shopping cart. She was sitting there in her cute little dress and she was people watching as well. Young babies are notorious for flirting and this little girl was no different. She was looking around and smilingly at everyone while she waited patiently for her Mom to checkout.
For some reason she turned quickly around and began to stare at me. I looked back and smiled but she just continued staring. She seemed fascinated by my mustache and started feeling her own upper lip with her finger. All of a sudden she began to laugh. You know that kind of infectious laugh that seems to move from person to person in a group and eventually everyone is howling. This tiny little girl couldn’t stop laughing. I know I can be funny looking but she just laughed loud and long and before I realized it everyone in our line and the adjoining lines were laughing as well. The more we laughed the more she laughed and I have to say it was one of the more pleasant moments I’ve experienced in many months. More than a few of us in the general vicinity were laughing so hard we were crying. As her mother pushed their cart away that little sweetheart was waving and laughing all the way out the door. Everyone was waving back and smiling and as she disappeared from sight we began talking together about how cute she was.
It was like the earth stood still for just a moment and all our defenses had evaporated. We came together as a group and shared a special moment. I’m sure that many of the people standing near that child will remember that experience for a very long time, I know I will.
At what age do we lose that child-like wonder that made that little lady so damn innocent and real. An emotional genuineness we could all use a great deal more of. A person could change the world forever if he or she could find a way to bottle and sell that. I hope that little girl holds onto that honesty and sincerity for many years to come but I suspect that won’t be the case. After she’s been exposed to the realities of life for a few years she’s sure to becomes more jaded and politically correct and I feel bad for her already.
For a moment she was a bright light that created a special moment in time that our select group of people was lucky enough to witness and be a part of. Every time I think I about it I can’t help but smile again.
I hesitate to write about today’s subject because I know many of my female readers will take me to task. As Groucho Marx used to say on You Bet Your Life, "Today’s topic is foreplay. Say the secret word and win a hundred dollars".
The term foreplay gets tossed around all to often when men have their discussions about being successful lovers. It comes across as more of a joke topic than anything they should take too seriously. Most women are out-spoken in their demands that men become more accomplished in this most important area. I can’t argue that fact because over the years I’ve found it to be true.
I think many men are good at foreplay but even they are accused at times of being unskilled. It’s become an easy way for women to keep a man on the defensive and to force him into working even harder than usual. It’s those passive-aggressive remarks like “Oh, that was nice but my old boyfriend wasn’t good at that either”, that can really kill the mood. I’m not being too critical of them because it’s just human nature to try and reap the most benefits from every situation. I’ve known a few women who considered successful foreplay by a man to be when he removed his pants. As with all human beings, everyone is different in their approach to just about anything.
I once had a fairly successful interlude with a young woman who told me up front there would be no actual intercourse. She was of the Bill Clinton school of sexual definition in that oral sex was not really sex. We never had actual intercourse but OMG it really didn’t matter, that girl had some serious skills. It was one of the few times in my life where I was totally satisfied with a developing relationship and was really disappointed when her flight was called and she flew away. I guess that’s why to this day I love airports and flight attendants but hate flying. Ahhhh good memories.
I was watching a TV show a while back and heard the term "King of Foreplay" used during a conversation about relationships. I’m certainly not claiming that title but I’ve studied as hard as I could over the years and I’m close to reaching that goal. If I could live at least seventy-five more years I might just make it. There are no hard and fast rules on foreplay because what works for one women doesn’t work for the next. It can be very difficult and time consuming for the inexperienced man to figure these things out.
After cruising around the net I found this list of foreplay tips on how to be a better lover. I’ll make a short comment on each since I’ve probably tried them all at one time or another. As with everything, some worked and some didn’t. See what you think. For you inexperienced young guys out there pay attention and learn from your elders.
Masturbate for your partner – Didn’t Work
Masturbate each other – Worked
Masturbate your partner – Worked
Suck nipples – Worked
Role-Play – Didn’t Work
Whole body massage – Worked
Give a lap dance or strip tease – Never as Foreplay
Shower together – Never as Foreplay
Tie one of you up – Really Worked
Oral Sex – Really Worked
Tickle – Never Tried
Nibble earlobes – Worked
Spank playfully – Really Worked
Talk dirty to each other – Worked
Blindfold one of you – Really Worked
Used sex toys – Really Worked
Shave each other’s private areas – Worked
Suck fingertips – Worked
Watch a porno – Never as Foreplay
Play an Adult Sex Game – Never Tried
Drip hot wax on your lover – Really worked
Body paint each other – Never as Foreplay
Hopefully the woman your trying to seduce doesn’t require any more than two or three of them. My advice is to become proficient in them all and begin your life-long search for that "King of Foreplay" title.
We all know who Dr. Ruth is I think. She’s the four and a half foot tall sex expert who has the answers to every sex question. Here are a few tips from her for those men who are having difficulties.
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Check it out. If anything "down there" hurts or isn’t working the way you think it should, don’t wonder about it — see a doctor. For him, difficulty maintaining an erection and, for her, pain during intercourse always requires a medical evaluation.
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Don’t zone out. Many couples are embarrassed to ask their partner to stimulate erogenous zones that are very pleasurable but can be considered taboo. The nipples, the anus, the back of the neck — all have nerve endings. So don’t be shy. The only shame when it comes to foreplay is a missed opportunity for pleasure.
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Stay the course. There is a moment before orgasm when many women give up, thinking nothing will happen. It’s a self-sabotaging mistake. Stay with the stimulation and the orgasm will come.
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There is not an exact science to foreplay. You and your partner(s) should understand what you need and want from each other. While we speak about foreplay techniques we must regard before anything else that every human being is distinctive and diverse from each person else and the above-mentioned foreplay techniques have a different impact from one person to another. Accustom yourself to the occasion.
Isn’t Dr. Ruth just terrific. I’ve always wondered if growing up at “zipper height” caused her to pursue sex as her life’s work. Just a thought.
Research indicates more than 85% of ladies reached more intense orgasms when their partners spent more than 10 minutes on foreplay. So boys, increase your number of foreplay techniques and become more sexually adventurous. It’s worth every second for you to bone up (pun intended) on your skills. They’ll serve you well for many decades to come (again pun intended).
With all this heat we’ve been suffering through I discovered just how many things there are that annoy me when I’m all hot, sweaty, and irritable. My normal list of annoyances has increased by a factor of ten.
I realize the heat makes it even worse but it getting ridiculous. Yesterday I found myself annoyed by a plane flying over my house. The fact that it was at least 25,000 feet high made no difference. Those bastard pilots. It’s getting out of control and I’m praying for cooler weather before someone decides to kick my ass.
I jotted down a few more that some of you will hopefully agree with.
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People who wait in a long checkout lines and then can’t find their checkbook or credit card.
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People who are constantly late.
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Commercials that are so much louder than the TV shows.
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Grocery shopping carts with a bad wheel.
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Co-workers that try to sell stuff to you at work.
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People who make small talk with a cashier when there’s a long line behind them.
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Stores with TV monitors at the checkouts that play commercials.
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TV shows and commercials ads with ringing doorbells or phones, which make you think the sound is coming from your house.
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Waiters/waitresses with dirty fingernails.
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Fake laughter.
The more I think about this list the longer it gets. I’m going to keep on rolling and hopefully I’ll reach the end of this nonsense.
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Stepping on a wet spot with my socks on.
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Drivers who won’t turn right on red.
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Being asked for my account number after I already entered it using the keypad on my phone.
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Celebrities preaching to me about politics.
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People saying "What’s up?" instead of saying "hi or hello".
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The lame-ass naming of celebrity couples.
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Suburban kids who think they’re gangstas.
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People who refer to themselves in the third person.
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Rappers who thank God at awards ceremonies.
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Mumbling, then annoyingly saying "Forget it!" when people don’t hear you.
Still going strong but I seem to be feeling a little better by unburdening myself like this.
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Business buzz words: synergistic, globalize, paradigm shift.
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People who dress their pets.
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Annoying nervous laughter.
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Someone opening a cabinet door or drawer and leaving it open.
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People who say "carmel" instead of "caramel".
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Overuse of the word "Like"
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Mispronunciation of words.
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People who are over age 21 who say the word "dude" way too often.
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When people use the word "literally" inappropriately. I.e. "I literally almost jumped out of my skin."
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People who bring their babies to the movies.
Wow, I’m starting to think almost everything is annoying me these days.
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When someone blows their nose in your presence and then proceeds to look at the results.
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Flood pants on men.
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People who don’t listen when you are talking to them.
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Using the toilet paper down to the last few squares without getting a new roll.
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People abbreviating words when they speak.
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Rude people talking at movies.
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Barking dogs.
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Having to explain the same thing more than once.
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People who don’t flush the toilet.
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When coffee spills out of the top drinking hole at Dunkin Donuts.
I’ve got to stop this foolishness. If I add just one more item to this list I’ll start annoying myself and for some reason that just seems wrong. Being annoyed by myself while listing annoyances of other people that annoy everyone else. It’s a conundrum I tell you. I think it’s time for all of you to make your own list. It’s annoying that you haven’t completed one already so get to it.
Man it’s hot in here.
I have a confession to make today that I absolutely love breasts, specifically women’s breasts. Like the great majority of men I have a real appreciation for both natural and supernatural (implants) breasts. It isn’t something that just happened to me, it’s been my obsession for as long as I can remember.
I’m not sure when it developed or why. It might have been that I was breast- fed as a baby and became enamored of breasts then. Or maybe I wasn’t breast-fed as a baby and really wanted to be. Since discussing anything sexual with my late parents was almost impossible I don’t have the real answer to my question.
Since so many of my readers are male and have a similar fascination with breasts I thought I’d do a little research and pass along any interesting facts I discovered. It was no surprise that breasts are a major topic on the Net but finding interesting facts about breasts was not as easy as finding the tens of thousands of photographs almost everywhere. Here are fifteen snippets of information I thought you might find interesting.
Man Boobs
A 53-year-old man Guo Qingpo, living in Shandong province, used to own the world’s biggest man boobs record. Guo Qingpo made a decision to have his breasts operated at a local hospital in Jinan, Beijing. After the 6-hour procedure, his 5-kilo breasts were successfully removed.
Current Implant Record Holder
In early 2009, Sheyla Hershey of Brazil was awarded the Guinness World Record for having the largest set of breasts. After nine surgeries and more than a gallon of silicone, her breasts are a size 38KKK.
Largest Natural Breasts
In modern times the world’s largest breasts belong to Norma Stitz (USA, born Annie Hawkins-Turner) who takes a size 56WW Bra. Norma holds the Guinness world record for having the biggest tits in the world.
Best Boob Artist
Kira Ayn Varszegi, aged 34 from Hartford, is an artist. She creates abstract works by using her 38DD breasts as a paintbrush. Kira covers her breasts in paint and then presses them against her canvases. She shares that a mixture of colors and angles in various different directions help to create her eye-catching works.
Left Breast is Usually Larger
No two breasts are exactly the same size, and it is usually your left breast that is bigger than the right side. However, often the difference is so slight you’d never notice they are of different sizes. Nipples also come in varying sizes, not only that, they also point in different directions.
British Boobs the Largest in Europe
A survey made by bra maker Triumph found that British women have the biggest boobs in Europe. More than half of women in that country wear a size D cup. Denmark scored second while Holland was third. On the other hand, Italian women had the smallest breasts where 68% had a size B.
Average Breast Weight
The average breast weighs about 0.5 kilograms (1.1 lb). Each breast contributes to about 4-5% of the body fat and thus 1% of the total body weight of an average woman.
Fat Breasts
In your 20s, your boobs are made up of fat, milk glands and collagen — the connective tissue that keeps them firm. But as you age, the glands and collagen shrink and are replaced by more and more fat. Instead of making your bra size go up, however, the added flab can send breasts down, closer to the floor, if you catch my drift.
Breasts Implant Saves Life
Big breasts miraculously saved an Israeli woman from death at the hands of a Lebanese paramilitary organization. The incident occurred during a Hezbollah rocket attack. The victim got a boob job two years ago. During the war, she was wounded in the chest by shrapnel but survived because of her implants. While the patient is fine, the implant, unfortunately, did not survive.
Orgasm via Breast Stimulation
The idea that women can achieve orgasm via breast stimulation alone has been put forward by Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot, a pair of high-profile sex educators and the authors of I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide. According to their findings, about 1% of women report the ability to achieve orgasm through manual stimulation of their breasts.
Cleavage
Two women with the same cup size may not always have cleavage of the same size. Woman’s breasts that have developed fuller in the middle will tend to have greater cleavage. A woman with an A or B cup but with breasts set naturally close together, can have nice cleavage as well.
Real or Not
More than 2 million women in the United States have breast implants. The average age a woman gets a boob job is 34 … 90% wait until after they have children. The majority of women go up about two cup sizes. Of course, implants still carry health risks, but that doesn’t stop 250,000 from going under the knife each and every year.
Let Sleeping Breasts Lie
Sleeping face-down won’t make your implants deflate, but it will change their shape over time. The best snooze style for your breasts is on your side with a pillow under them for support.
Extra Boobs
Extra breasts (or nipples, for that matter) is called polymastia. In 1886, one Professor Neugenbauer presented to the French Academy of Medicine a woman with ten individual lactating breasts. Three months later, Dr. P. J. Stoyanoff exhibited a 23-year-old Polish woman who also had eight additional boob, all of which secreted milk.
There you have it guys. Every thing you always wanted to know about breasts and breast implants. I hope you all appreciate the valuable time I invested reading all about breasts and looking at the thousands of pictures required to verify these facts. It was exhausting work but I know how important it was to get this information to all of you as quickly as possible. Oh yeah, I think my carpal tunnel syndrome is acting up again. The sacrifices I make for this blog.
The rain in Maine is mostly a huge pain. This weather is continuing to wear on my nerves. Rain, rain, and more effing rain. I kind of feel like I’m living in India during the monsoon season. That lovely musty smell has now become the norm and I’m certainly not enjoying that at all. It would be nice to have three or four days of warm, non-humid weather that would allow the house and garage to dry out just a little. Unfortunately wishing doesn’t make it so.
Earlier this year I picked up a copy of Poor Richards Almanac for 2013 and I’m beginning to become a real believer. The almanac has been right on the money on the weather patterns for the last few months for this area. If their predictions continue to be as accurate this will be one of the wettest summers on record for Maine. Without a doubt it will be great for the garden but OMG. I already need a machete to walk through the garden and the amount of veggies is going to be huge.
I see many days of picking, cleaning, and canning of veggies like never before. We’re anticipating quantities of zucchini, cucumbers, and squashes that will be incredible. Thankfully we’re well prepared and have more than enough supplies to handle things. This year we may be canning a good quantity of mixed veggies with jalapeños to heat them up a little. Probably as many as sixty pints of hot Bread & Butter pickles and possibly some hot relish as well. It’s amazing just how much production we get from such a medium sized garden.
I grew two items this year that I ‘m experimenting with, mustard and curry. The mustard started off rather slowly but with all this rain the plants are almost three feet high now with brilliant yellow flowers. The leaves have the greatest taste and are making our salads much more flavorful. I should also be able to harvest enough seeds to make my first attempt at creating my own mustard. If that’s successful then I’ll plant at least three times as many plants next year. The curry was an aromatic plant which when dried will make one helluva good addition to our collection of cooking herbs.
My better-half has already started making her jams for the year. She just completed two batches of blueberry which is always the best. One of the batches was made with a new gadget we received as a gift. It’s sold by the Ball Company and made specifically for making jellies and jams. It the coolest thing ever. You put your crushed fruit into the cooking container, set the time, and it cooks the fruit until perfect. It then beeps four times to tell you when to add the sugar. It cooks a little longer, beeps once and then turns itself off. You then spoon it into jars and can as normal. Less mess and no possibility of cooking errors which have been an issue in the past. I can’t wait to try it with a few of my new experimental flavors once I get the recipes completed.
I’m still hoping for some dryer weather so some of the other crops can thrive as well but what can you do. Mother Nature cruises along at her own speed with absolutely no regard for us pitiful human beings.
I receive a few emails each week and unfortunately some of them are more than a little rude. The people who send those messages apparently don’t wish to have their user ID’s published in my Comments section. Every once in a great while I receive something that makes me smile and when that occurs I pass it along to you.
Recently I was sent the following information from an anonymous emailer. He claimed he likes reading my postings that contain quotations. He collected a few of his own from friends and other unknown sources and sent them along. In my opinion they seem more like bumper stickers than quotations but I’m forwarding them along on the side chance you’ll get a chuckle or two. I’m also really glad I don’t know any of this guys friends because some of these are sooooo freaking lame. Hold your nose with one hand and read on.
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A day without sunshine is like, night.
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I just got lost in thought and believe me It was unfamiliar territory.
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Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.
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99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry.
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It’ll be called You-Twit-Face.
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Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.
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Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
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Birds of a feather flock together, and crap on your car.
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I can resist everything except temptation.
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If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
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Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
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Born free, taxed to death.
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Smile, it makes people wonder what you’re thinking.
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In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
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Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think about it, neither does milk.
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In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
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Silence is golden… duck tape is silver.
The only one I really liked and appreciated was the last one on the list. For some reason that one just clicked for me. At first I laughed and then after thinking about it for a moment or two realized just how true it is and laughed again. Sometime it’s necessary to break up the day with a little silliness and that one did it for me.
So here’s a special thanks to Mr. Anonymous for his contribution. Next time send me some actual quotations because I love reading them too.
Welcome back to the E.U.T. University the best known reservoir of totally useless knowledge. You’ll learn through our detailed courses of study many of the things that have puzzled mankind for centuries. We’ll continue our course of study today with two more lesson plans for your archives.
Todays lessons concern two things which are generally known but the true facts aren’t readily available. Thanks to EUTU you are about to be made a little smarter than you were prior to this visit.
Lesson #3 – Why Do Men Have Nipples?
Once a human embryo has been conceived, no matter what its ultimate gender, it follows a female template, adopting all female characteristics, including nipples. After a number of weeks in this state, a certain gene in the mail embryo stimulates the production of the male hormone testosterone, which prompts the embryo to develop masculine qualities. While the nipples remain present they will not function the way that they would have had the embryo been supplied with female hormones.
Not only do male babies have nipples, but they also are born with breast tissue and milk ducts and glands. These are normally in operative, but, if men experience increased levels of the female hormone estrogen and a lack of testosterone, they can develop breasts like those of women and, in extreme cases, even perform lactation. Because men have breast tissue, they are at risk from breast cancer, albeit to a far lesser extent than women are.
It has been asked why evolution has not done away with these superfluous male nipples. The common response is that, because diseases affecting the nipples are rare in men, there is no genetic imperative to do away with the nipple and so they remain.
So watch out guys. Stay away from those scary female hormones. You’ve always known how crazy they make women and it’s probably even worse for us men. Not only can you grow boobs and lactate, you can also be stricken with breast cancer. Count your blessings and stay away from that estrogen.
Lesson #4 – What is the Purpose of Pubic Hair?
The purpose of pubic hair is something that has been argued about for years. Even today, scientists are still unsure of its function.
One view is that pubic hair protects against friction during sexual intercourse, and provides cushioning for the pelvis in that area. Another view is that it provided insulation or our ancestors, although this is not widely held because of the lack of significant hair over the rest of our bodies. However, there is some support for the idea that the hair helps to regulate body temperature in the genital area which is particularly important for the production of sperm in men.
Pubic hair is curly because for some reason our sex hormones turn the hair follicles in that area into an oval shape, which in turn makes the hair an oval shape, causing it to bend. Straight hair grows from round follicles and is less prone to curliness.
That concludes today’s lessons and I hope you’ve found out a few new facts that have eluded you until now. As before, break into study groups to further discuss and better understand the information you’ve been given. There will be tests in your future.
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