What’s a day without a load of trivial and useless information. If you want to know everything about celebrity’s losing their virginities this is the place to be today. In no particular order.
I’ve been ranting a bit for the last few days about politics and politicians, and I’ve run out of energy. Bitching and complaining is a total waste of time because it gets me nowhere very quickly. Today I’ll return to a topic I love and enjoy, limericks, especially those written by children. They make me smile and laugh out loud occasionally. Politics does not.
By Gareth Owen
Winnifred Gristle could whistle through thistles.
At whistling through thistles our Winn was a dream.
While I’m not much of a sports fan these days, I did play a lot of sports over the years. I loved playing sports but watching them now is as much fun as watching paint dry. I’m still a lover of trivia too so it’s about time I matched them up. Here are a few sports trivia facts you may not have been aware of.
Wilt Chamberlain averaged 48.5 minutes per game in 1961–62. That means he played every minute of every game and every minute of every overtime.
Pittsburgh is the only city where every one of its professional sports teams wears the same colors.
Major league baseball uses approximately 900,000 balls every season.
Prior to the 1930s in the NBA a jump ball used to follow every made basket.
One of the greatest pitchers in MLB history was known to run off the field during games to chase firetrucks. Rube Waddell was fascinated with firetrucks and managers had a difficult time keeping him on the mound if one drove by. It didn’t stop him from being one of the greatest strikeout pitchers in the history of the game.
Wilt Chamberlain once averaged over 50 points per game for an entire season.
Before Babe Ruth, MLB’s career home run record was just 138. When the babe retired, the new record was 714.
Jackie Mitchell, one of the first (and only) female player in the major league baseball system, once struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig in consecutive at-bats. The strikeouts occurred during a minor league exhibition game against the Yankees.
For 43 years, the NFL record for the longest made field goal was held by a man (Tom Dempsey) with no toes on his kicking foot.
Jackie Robinson was not the first black player in major league baseball. William Edward White, a former slave, served as a one-game replacement player in 1879. Moses Fleetwood Walker lasted slightly longer, playing nearly a full season in 1884, 63 years before Jackie Robinson made his historic debut.
Are you an avid reader? I’ve been one since a very early age and it will continue forever. One of my favorite reads is just about anything ever written by Isaac Azimov. He was a prolific writer as well as a noted intellectual. His areas of interest were many but today I’ll post a few facts he gathered concerning books since we’ve both shared a love for them. Books are great and history is even greater. How can I go wrong posting about the history of books?
Columbus had with him on his first voyage to the New World a copy of Marco Polo’s book about his 13th century, twenty-two-year odyssey to China and back.
Twice as many books on religion were published in England as works of fiction in 1870. Sixteen years later, novels far outnumbered religious works.
The Library of Congress houses over 72 million pieces of research material, including over 16.5 million books and 31 million manuscripts, and costs over $150 million a year to run.
The Communist Manifesto of Marx and Engels was ignored in Germany when it was published in 1848, and a Russian translation was suppressed by censors in the 1860’s. It remained a rare pamphlet until it was reprinted in 1872.
The art of printing from wooden blocks with the characters in reverse was initiated in Buddhist monasteries in China. The oldest surviving printed book that can be reliably dated is a Buddhist text, the Diamond Sutra, made in China in 868 A.D.
Euclid is the most successful textbook writer of all time. His book Elements dated around 300 B.C. has gone through more than 1000 editions since the invention of printing.
General Lew Wallace’s bestseller Ben Hur was published in 1880 and was the first work of fiction to be blessed by a Pope.
America’s first best-selling novelist was a woman, Susanna Haswell Rowson. Although it was a melodramatic work with wooden characters and a hackneyed plot, Charlotte Temple, published in 1791, appealed to popular tastes. It went through more than 200 editions.
Icelanders read more books per capita than any other people in the world.
To get her book published, in 1896, Fannie Farmer had to pay publishers Little, Brown and Company the printing costs for the first 3000 copies. The publisher refused to take the risk, saying that women would not buy still another collection of recipes. Ironically, her Boston Cooking School Cook Book eventually became the most popular cookbook of its time and a “gold mine” through the years for the publisher; millions of copies have been sold in dozens of editions.
As much as I love bawdy limericks, I also love those written by the kids for other kids. And it’s also nice to know that another generation of limerick lovers and writers are waiting in the wings.
To say I am a baseball fan would be an understatement and when writing about famous orators how could I forget the man, “Yogi Berra”. For me, he’s the perfect example of what old time baseball was all about. He was a great player and manager and always made the Yankees fans proud. Weirdly enough he has since become almost as famous for his stream of hilarious quotations. Here are a few for your entertainment.
“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.”
“Baseball is 90% mental- the other half is physical.”
“Nobody goes there anymore – it’s too crowded.”
“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”
“This is like déjà vu all over again.”
“You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.”
“It gets late early out there.”
“Think! How the hell are you going to think and hit at the same time?”
“Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting.”
When his wife asked, “Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?” His response was, “Surprise me.”
I am a longtime lover of feet. When most guys were scoping out boobs and butts, I was looking for women wearing sandles. I’m not sure why or when I developed this love of feet, but it started at a very young age. Over the years it has been a wonderful addition to my dating repertoire. With that in mind here are some odd facts about feet you may not have been aware of. Read on and be converted you butt loving and boob loving men (or women). It’s all good.
The world’s tallest man, Robert Pershing Wadlow (8’11”) wore size 37 shoes.
In many Asian countries is considered the height of rudeness to let the soles of your feet face another person.
Your foot and ankle together contain 26 bones.
The Achilles tendon is the longest and strongest tendon in your foot. The tendon is named after the Greek warrior who was killed when he was hit there with an arrow.
The skin on the soles of your feet is .2 inches (5 mm) thick.
Athletes foot can cause intense itching and pain. It is a fungus that grows between your toes because it likes the dark, moist conditions found there.
It takes 20 muscles to hold each of your feet together and allow them to move as in dancing, running, and skipping.
Getting “cold feet” means you want to back down or walk away from something you had planned to do.
Your toes can get into lots of trouble. You could have hammer toes, claw toes, and overlapping toes, not to mention ingrown toenails. In some cases, people have been known to have their second toe a half inch or longer than the big toe (you know who you are).
If you have fallen arches, the arch of your foot has flattened. The entire sole of your foot is on the ground, so you don’t have a natural shock absorber system as you walk.
There you have a few oddities about feet. Most of the things I mentioned are a rarity and doesn’t do anything to disturb my foot fetish. I remain as always, a dedicated (disturbingly so) lover of women’s feet. Add to that bright red, blood red nail polish and I’m yours for the taking. LOL
I’ve posted previously about what Number Freaking is all about. If you’re really interested just do a search to read those posts. Today’s number freaking facts and stats concern sex. I knew that would get your attention very quickly. Read on and be educated . . .
The Penguin Atlas of Human Sexual Behavior claims sexual intercourse takes place, worldwide, 120 million times every day. Assuming an average of one male per coupling and one orgasm per male It is estimated that 30 million billion (30 quadrillion) sperms are in the hunt every day.
Assuming a healthy male can make as many as 1500 sperm a second, in 1 min. he can produce 90,000 sperm.
There are 2.2 billion adult women on earth. It would take one man 17 days to make one’s sperm per woman.
The average number of kids born per women worldwide is 2.8. So, assume an average woman will lose 28 menstruating months to pregnancy during her lifetime.
The average woman will menstruate 19.66 quarts of blood in her lifetime. That’s about the same amount as two cases of wine.
The average American man first gets married at the age of 28.7 years and dies at the age of 76. A duration of 47.8 years. If he could manage having sex three times a day every day until he dies, he would’ve had intercourse 52,376 times.
According to the Penguin Atlas of Human Sexual Behavior the country boasting the longest lasting sexual intercourse is Brazil at 30 min. The USA, Canada, and Brits follow with 28, 23, and 21 min. respectively. The quickest sex in the world takes place in Thailand in 10 min. and Russia in 12 min.
The data shows that almost 88% of men’s penises measure between 5 and 7 inches when erect. When relaxed 90% of men are 3 to 5 inches.
Kinsey also reports that the average vagina is 3 inches long with a diameter of .8 inches when aroused, and 3.75 to 4.1 inches long with a diameter of 2.3 to 2.5 inches when stimulated (so it’s wide enough for birth).
Women in Kinsey studies said that on average they took just under 4 min. to achieve orgasm, flying solo. Practicing with a partner, however, it took between 10 and 20 min.
And here is one of my favorite factoids concerning men. There is a popular assumption that man think constantly about sex. Globally, life expectancy at birth, for a man, is 65 years. If we assume men start thinking about sex with the advent of puberty, which we’ll assume to be at age 13, that means men will think about sex every 6 seconds for 52 years or 273.5 million times.
Here are the final limericks in Mr. McCord’s limerick construction primer. I thoroughly enjoy reading the work created by such an intelligent man who enjoys his love of poems and limericks as I do. His non-limerick poetry is also outstanding as you will see.
💥💥💥
It’s been a bad year for the moles
Who live just in stockings with holes;
And bad for the mice
Who prefer their boiled rice
Seved in shoes that don’t have any soles.
💥💥💥
There once was a man in the Moon,
But he got there a little too soon.
Some others came later
And fell down a crater,
When was it? Next August? Last June?
💥💥💥
I don’t much exactly quite care
For those cats with short ears and long hair.
But if anything’s worse
It’s the very reverse:
Just you ask any mouse anywhere.
💥💥💥
💥💥💥
So, by chance it may be you’ve not heard
Of a small sort of queer silent bird.
Not a song, trill, or note
Ever comes from his throat.
If it does, I take back every word.
💥💥💥
And last but not least.
Write a limerick now. Say there was
An old man of some place, what he does,
Or perhaps what he doesn’t,
Or isn’t or wasn’t.
Want help with it? Give me a buzz.
💥💥💥
I heard my first limerick when I was about 7 years old when I was eavesdropping on my father and one of his friends. I heard my dad recite this little gem. My love of limericks was born!
I’ve been a lover of baseball since the age of six. I’ve played in the LL Minor Leagues, LL Major Leagues, Pony League, Senior Little League, High School (4 years), and American Legion ball. I figure that gives me the right to have a little fun at the expense of some of my favorite players. I remain respectful of these men, but I still think some of the things they say in front of the microphone are hysterically funny. Here are a few . . .
“Any pitcher who throws at a batter and deliberately tries to hit him is a Communist” Alvin Dark, NY Giant infielder.
“If Jesus were on the field, he’d be pitching inside and breaking up double plays. He’d be high-fiving the other guys.” Tim Burke, Montreal Expos pitcher.
“I am throwing twice as hard as I ever did. It’s just not getting there as fast.” Lefty Gomez, NY Yankee pitcher.
“I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.” Tug Mcgraw, NL pitcher, when asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf.
“The doctors x-rayed by head and found nothing.” Dizzy Dean, NL pitcher, after being beaned in the 1934 World Series.
“I was the worst hitter ever. I never even broke a bat until last year when I was backing out of the garage.” Left Gomez, NY Yankee pitcher.
“Well, that kind of puts a damper on even a Yankee win.” Phil Rizzuto, Yankee broadcaster, upon hearing that Pope Paul had died.
“His (Dwight Gooden’s) reputation preceded him before he got here.” Don Mattingly, NY Yankee infielder.
“It would take some of the lust off the All-Star game.” Pete Rose, REDS infielder when asked about inter-league play.
“I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.” Andre Dawson, Cubs outfielder on being a role model.
No, I haven’t forgotten about quotes and sayings by Yogi Berra. I would have to write a short novel to include all of his silliness. I’ll post something on Yogi eventually but it’s hard to choose just ten out of the hundreds available. LOL
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