Archive for the ‘Political Correctness’ Category
In keeping with the theme of this blog “everyuselessthing”, I thought a short history lesson was in order to supply readers with a little known trivia tidbit about NASA and the first moon landing. In 1969 Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the moon as we all know but were you aware that William Safire, President Nixon’s speechwriter, gave the president a draft of a speech he might have to give if the moon mission failed. It is claimed that the president never saw it. Here is a copy of that speech.
Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.
These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.
These two men are laying down their lives in mankind’s most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding. They will be mourned by their family and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.
In their exploration they stirred the people of the world to feel as one; in their sacrifice, they bind more tightly the brotherhood of man.
In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.
Others will follow, and surely find their way home, Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they remain the foremost in our hearts.
For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.
One final tidbit of irony. In 1999, on the 30th year anniversary of the moon landing, the three astronauts were shown this text for the first time by Tim Russert on Meet the Press.
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AND NOW YOU KNOW
I’ve spent almost half of my life working in some manner in law enforcement. I patrolled for years as a uniformed officer, a member of the detective unit for a time, and then two years in undercover vice and narcotics. I’ve seen many guilty individuals go to jail and I’ve seen almost as many get a slap on the wrist by the court system and put back on the streets without much punishment. That punishment almost never fits the crime? I also spent six years interviewing prisoner’s in numerous jails throughout the state of Maine. I’ve seen it all and heard it all and then some. The system is just barely adequate.
As I’m want to do I decided to dig into the past for possible answers to improve our system. I must say that things were unbelievably different from our current mess. I found these eight punishments from past centuries and maybe just maybe they should be reviewed for possible reuse today but with some modifications. If your a person who thinks the punishment should fit the crime, you’ll going to love these.
- The Pillory – Hands and head tightly clamped between two pieces of wood in the village square. It made a great target for passing citizens to pelt the criminal with all sorts of things.
- The Dunking Stool – This required the dunking of the criminal in freezing cold water. This was often punishment for nagging wives.
- The Stocks – This would be the little brother of the Pillory. The offender was seated on a bench with hands and feet held between two planks. This was punishment for minor offenses and the length of the sentence was determined by the severity of the crime.
- The Whipping Post – The name is self-explanatory. FAFO in it’s first incarnation. The sentence was usually 10 lashes from a whip made from 40 strips of leather.
- A Scarlet Letter – Offenders were required to have a large red letter sewn onto their clothing and forced to stand in the square for up to three hours for public ridicule – “A” for adultery, “B” for blaspheming, and “D” for being a drunk.
- Branding – A scarlet letter burnt into your cheek, back, thumb, or back of the hand. “L”- Liar, “T” for thief,, and “F” for forger. They had a whole alphabet to choose from.
- The Branks – A much more serious punishment. An iron cage was attached to the head with a sharp spike clamping the tongue. It was sometimes called the “scolds bridle” because many women were so punished for daring to talk back to their husbands.
- The Billboes – (No relation to the Hobbit) A metal bar with attached handcuffs for the feet and then attached to the ground. Drunks and people who spoke out against the government were left to stand from dawn till dusk clamped to these.
I’M FOR BRING THEM ALL BACK
IMMEDIATELY (LOL)!!
As some of you will remember, I search constantly to find and purchase old books. I recently received one of the strangest books I’ve ever seen. The book is titled BIZARRE BOOKS – A COMPENDIUM OF CLASSIC ODDITIES. As we all know almost anyone can write a book. Some become famous and sell millions of copies but then there are these others. This book is a collection of nothing but book titles going back hundreds of years and to say some are strange is an understatement as you will see. I’ll be posting on more of these titles in the future after I finish reading the book. Todays topic concerns 15 book titles containing blatant Double Entendre. Here goes northing . . .
Games You Can Play With Your Pussy -1985
Miss Rod. The Girls Own Book – 1934
Queer Shipmates – 1962
Old Dykes I Have Known – 1996
Invisible Dick – 1926
Girls Who Did – 1927
Cock Tugs – 1963
Big Dick, the King of the Negroes – 1846
Memorable Balls – 1954
Drummer Dick’s Discharge – 1902
Cock Angel – 1928
Cobbler’s Knob – 1958
Fairies on the Doorstep – 1948
Joyful Lays – 1886
The Big Book of Busts – 1994
❤️❤️❤️
SPECIAL THANKS TO RUSSELL ASH & BRIAN LAKE
(Just weird motivation to write your own book.)
Here are a few random trivia facts to start off your weekend.
- The Bryan Adams” famous song “Summer of 69” is named after the sex act, not the year.
- The very first television commercial was for watches and aired in 1941.
- Actor Jim Caviezel was struck by lightning while portraying Jesus in the movie Passion of the Christ.
- The word “Fuck” was once said 935 times in a movie: Swearnet, The Movie.
- Steven Spielberg submitted the movie, Schindler’s List as his final project for film school.
- President John Adams had a dog named Satan.
- It has been estimated that in1939, the first televised football was watched by approximately 1,000 viewers.
- The objects humans have sent to space include pictures of human sex organs, sea urchin sperm, a pizza, the remains of the man who discovered Pluto, and Elon Musk’s Tesla car.
- When a worker bee mates with the queen his penis explodes.
- The capital of Nevada is actually west of Los Angeles.
🌿🌿🌿🌿
And here’s one that hits close to home.
Marijuana and the hops in beer come from the same plant family.
(Gummies with a beer chaser!)
☮️☮️☮️
FIVE SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
I’ve been called many things in my life. Some were complimentary and others not so much. My all-time favorite without a doubt is that I’m a sarcastic son-of-bitch. To me that is nothing more than a badge of honor which I wear proudly. Most people know the word sarcastic but have no idea what it really means. I’ve spent many years honing my sarcasm skills so today I’m now willing to share some of them with you. Here are some commonly used words with a beautiful yet sarcastic explanation. Read on my sarcastically uneducated and challenged readers.
- CALM-What you are usually urged to remain around the time the third engine on the aircraft has failed.
- PERFECTIONIST-The worst kind of boss; the best kind of sex partner.
- PERKY-Lively, jaunty, brisk, or to put it another way, just asking for a punch in the damn face.
- PUBLIC RESTROOM-A place containing toilet seats that make you wish you could be taught how to hover.
- REALITY-A state in which you assume everybody else resides, until you start dating.
- REGRET-The gnawing, inescapable feeling that behaving like a total dick for your entire life may not have been such a good idea.
- MACHO-A form of overstated masculinity, requiring males to live in a state of constant readiness to whip it out and see whose is bigger.
- NITPICK-To rip someone a new one without leaving anything out.
- DRUNK-Intoxicated with alcoholic beverages. An absolutely crucial component in the decision to photocopy one’s ass cheeks.
- DRESS-Something that does not, I said not, make you look fat.
- DEGREE-A certificate of academic achievement awarded at the college level. Comes in very handy when asking people if they want fries with that.
- CHIVALRY-Considerate behavior that a man completely abandons right after as many dates as it takes to get a woman into bed.
- BAR-A place where lonely, desperate people go to get hammered enough to find other lonely, desperate people suddenly irresistible.
- HOTDOG-The toenails, lips, and eyebrows of various animals served on a bun.
- HUNGOVER- A condition that makes figuring out who was next to you in bed this morning take anywhere from five minutes to a lifetime.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
CLASS DISMISSED!
(Thank you Mr. Napoli)
I really do try to avoid writing about politics and politicians. No matter what you write your going to piss off a great many people. I’ve always found politics to be a necessary evil but I avoid political discussions religiously and religious discussions politically. It can be a great source of humor which is it’s biggest selling point for me. I do miss the days of Marion Barry in DC and his constant stream of misstatements and BS. I prayed that he would eventually run for Congress and be elected because the shit-storm he could have caused would’ve had me laughing for years. In his honor I dedicate this post of some of his most incredibly stupid quotes and nose-sniffing behavior. It makes me very nostalgic.
- “I’m providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raised . . .”
- “The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather.”
- “I promise you a police car on every sidewalk.”
- “I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria, or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?”
- “What we have here is an egregemous miscarriagement of taxitude.”
- “Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
- “There are two kinds of truth. There are real truths, and there are made-up truths.”
- I am a great mayor, I am an outstanding Christian man, I am an intelligent man, I am a deeply educated man, and I’m a humble man.”
My Fav
“What right does Congress have to go around
making laws just because they deem it necessary.”
*****
HATE OR LOVE HIM??
I’m feeling a bit rambunctious this morning which doesn’t happen as much as I’d like. There are lots of topics to discuss every day it seems but most aren’t worth my time. Since every person on the internet seems to be an effing expert on everything, I decided to step back and watch the fun as they continue to make fools of themselves. With that thought in mind I decided to share some rather borderline off-color humor today because I can. The online experts can kiss my ass and if what I post displeases them they can piss off and stop reading my blog. Enjoy . . .
😁😁😁
Two guys were getting drunk and horny at a bar. One said: “When I get home I want to give my woman a different kind of sex that’ll blow her mind”. The other suggested: “Why don’t you try rodeo sex?” “Rodeo sex, what’s that?” It’s when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair, pull her head back slightly and whisper quietly in her ear, “Your sister was better at this than you . . . and then try to hold on for the full 8 seconds!
😆😆😆
A guy had been dating a girl for over a year when he decided it was time to take their relationship to the next level. “How do you feel about sex?” he asked cautiously. “It’s fine,” she said, “as long as it’s infrequent.” He looked at her a bit puzzled.” Is that one word or two?”
🤪🤪🤪
A girl picked up a guy at a nightclub and with her parents being out of town, seized the opportunity to invite him back to her home. When they got to her bedroom, he noticed that the room was filled with fluffy stuffed animals. There were hundreds of them: fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe, fluffy toys on the window sill, fluffy toys on the floor, fluffy toys all over the bed, and fluffy toys on three rows of shelves. Later, after they had sex, he turned to her and asked: “So how was it for you?” She said: “You can take anything from the bottom shelf.”
😎😎😎
THATS ENOUGH FUN FOR TODAY
I’ve complained about “fake news” a lot in recent in recent months. If anything, it’s even worse now than before. With the advent of AI’s creating photo’s and headlines that are nothing more than a teaser to get us to read all the BS normally that usually follows has become problematic. I’m all for free speech but the lack of control on the fake content and misleading headlines is ridiculous. Everyone is paranoid to the extreme for scammers and this fake BS just contributes to even more scams. Today I’ll let you determine what is fake and what isn’t. Firstly I’ll list five of the most ridiculous conspiracy theories I could find. If you’re convinced by any of these subjects, you’re in need of more help than I can offer.
Conspiracies
- Chemical trails from jet aircraft are really poisons designed by the government.
- President Obama spent time on Mars as a teenager.
- Stevie Wonder was never blind.
- The planet Venus supports life.
- Google has become self-aware, evolving into an AI that is essentially a god.
I realize these five items are truly stupid but they actually have been seriously discussed by the lunatic fringe. My all time favorite must go to those idiots who still believe the earth is flat. It pleases me that the mental health institutions will continue to have plenty of customers. I guess you could call that some sort of “job security”. Now I’m going to list ten items of which five are actual headlines and five that are not. You be the judge. The answers will be listed below.
Headlines
1. ITALIAN BANK ROBBERS WEAR TRUMP MASKS DURING HEISTS
2. TOAD TADPOLES TURN HOMEGROWN POISONS ON EACH OTHER
3. MAN ARGUES FOR ROOMBA LOVER TO BE GIVEN PERSONHOOD
4. INFAMOUS PICKPOCKET PALMS JUDGE’S WALLET IN COURT
5. SINGLE MEN ARRIVE IN DROVES AFTER PERSONALITY PROFILE ON A VASECTOMY SPECIALIST APPEARS
6. IN TRUE CANADIAN FASHION, DELAYED FLIGHT TRIGGERS A SING-ALONG.
7. MAN TAKES DISNEYLAND RIDE 10,000 TIMES
8. DRIVE-THRU WINDOW BECOMES SQUEEZE-THRU FOR A MCDONALD’S THIEF
9. PU! AIRPLANE DROPS CRATE OF STINK BUGS ON WEDDING
10.A BRITISH SURGEON WAS DISCOVERED BRANDING HIS INITIALS ON LIVERS
Answers
1,2,6,8,10 – Are True, 3,4,5,7,9 Are Fake
How well do you know your presidents? We’ll see. As always the answers are listed below.
- George Washington only left America’s shores one time. Where did he go?
- Who said, “Let us begin by committing ourselves to the truth – to see it like it is, and tell it like it is – to find the truth, to speak the truth, and live the truth?”
- What American President owned dogs named Drunkard, Tipler, and Tipsy?
- Who was the first American President to win the Nobel Prize?
- Who was the first President born outside the original 13 states?
- Where was the first presidential mansion located?
- What three animals were party symbols in the 1912 presidential race?
- What two brothers were nominated for president at the convention in 1884?
- What president won election after three unsuccessful bids for the nomination?
- What was George Washington’s shoe size?
- Who was honored with the first ever toast made at a White House dinner?
HAIL TO THE CHIEF
Answers
Barbados, West Indies in 1751, Richard M. Nixon 1968, George Washington, Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1906, Abraham Lincoln, At 1 Cherry Street in NYC, Elephant, Donkey, and Bull (For the Bull Moose Party), General Tecumseh Sherman and Senator John Sherman of Ohio, James Buchanan in 1856, Thirteen., and last: Lafayette on September 6, 1825.
I haven’t had much of a response from readers about the 1960’s Science Test I posted two days ago. I can only assume that many of you had some difficulty answering the questions. Today I’ll try and make it a little easier for all of you. Today’s quiz involves a test of your history knowledge from the 1970’s. As always, the answers are below.
- In what country did the Jonestown Massacre take Place?
- What happened to President Nixon once the Watergate scandal went public?
- _________is the name of the organization/cartel of some of the world’s leading oil producers and exporters?
- Most Iranians are ethnically ________ and ________ Muslims.
- What did Americans celebrate in 1976?
- Who was the US Congressman that was assassinated by members of the Jim Jones Peoples Temple in 1978?
- The _______ war set off the 1973 oil embargo?
- The terrorist group that took the Israeli athletes as hostages during the 1972 Summer Olympics was.
- The men who carried out dirty work for President Nixon were known as the _________.
- Where were the 1972 Summer Olympics held?
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Answers
Guyana, Impeached in 1973, OPEC, Shia and Shiite, The Bicentennial, Leo Ryan, Yom Kippur, Black September, The Plumbers, Munich, Germany
I SCORED 8 CORRECT – HOW ABOUT YOU
(HAPPY MAY DAY)
everyuselessthing.com 