I thought today we might talk a little bit about food and drink. Just a little bit of trivia concerning some of our favorite consumables and some not so favorite. Don’t read this before you eat your lunch, it might put you off a little bit.
To make 1 pound of honey, bees must tap an average of 2 million flowers and fly more than 50,000 miles.
In ancient times oranges, not apples, were known as the” Fruits of the Gods”.
Some fast-food hamburgers are made of only 12% meat.
More than 45% of Americans eat fast food once a week.
To burn the calories consumed while eating a McDonald’s Big Mac, large fries, and a large soda, you must walk briskly for seven straight hours.
The US FDA allows pizza sauce at fast food restaurants to contain a maximum of 30 fly eggs per 100 grams, or 15 fly eggs and one maggot per 100 grams.
Each day McDonald’s feeds more people than the entire population of Spain.
Worcestershire sauce is created by dissolving the whole anchovies in vinegar, until the bones melt.
Lemons contain more sugar than strawberries.
Honey is the only natural food that does not rot. Theoretically honey could sit for 1 million years and remain completely edible.
On average there are more than 1200 calories in movie theater popcorn if you include the butter topping. That’s the equivalent of the calories in one pound of baby back ribs or two McDonald’s Big Macs.
M&Ms are the top-selling candy in the United States. Second is Reese’s peanut butter cups and third is the Snickers bar.
In China, the most popular use of ketchup is as a condiment for fried chicken.
The French government banned ketchup in its primary schools in 2011, fearing it would encourage children to develop Americanized taste preferences.
No more than two rodent hairs, or 29 gnawed kernels, can be shipped in a pound of popcorn.
I’ve been something of a music collector involving music primarily from the 50’s, 60’s, and the mid 70″s. The amount of music produced after the 70’s leaves me unimpressed. You take all of the Rap, Hip Hop, and Country Western and have a huge bonfire. I’m certain it would be a beautiful sight. A lot of you will disagree vehemently and that’s your prerogative. To each their own.
As I was reading some music trivia publications last week, I found the following list. The 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s had their issues as well with weird bands of every sort. That’s only normal for the music business at its core. Let’s see how many of these groups you remember.
Afghanistan Banana Stand
Berth’s Mule
Buddy Whatshisname and the Other Fellows
The Color Fred
The Disappointed Parents
The Well I’m Sure I Left It There Yesterday Band
Me First and the Gimmee Gimmees
The Naugahyde Chihuahuas
Question Mark and the Mysterians
She Stole My Beer
Stop Calling Me Frank
The Tortillas You Wanted
I can honestly say that I’ve only heard of two of these bands and that is Question Mark and the Mysterians and Afghanistan Banana Stand. I don’t know of any songs either might have released but for some reason I know their names. As for the rest I haven’t a clue. If you know, let me know.
Today is the perfect day for a pile of miscellaneous information that you didn’t realize you were missing. First a “Stupid Headline”, then a quote from the late Larry King, and thirdly a few retro bumper stickers to take you back to the 70’s. Last but not least two children’s limericks. Enjoy!
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STUDENT EXCITED ABOUT DAD GETTING HEAD JOB
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“I never learned anything while I was talking.” – Larry King
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GUNS CAUSE CRIME, LIKE FLIES CAUSE GARBAGE
NOT ALL WOMEN ARE FOOLS, SOME ARE SINGLE
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR OTHER CAR IS, WHAT YOU LOVE, OR WHAT YOU’D RATHER BE DOING
I rolled out of bed today at about 3:45 AM and the house was dead silent. I poured myself a cup of coffee, crawled back into bed, and watched one of my favorite movies. The movie is “Shooter” and stars Donnie Wahlberg. It’s been one of my favorite movies for quite a long time but today something struck me, and I thought I’d talk about it a bit. In one of the nastier scenes in the movie Wahlberg is trapped on a mountain top and chatting with a corrupt United States Senator. The senator was eloquent in his smartass remarks and stated, “There are no Republicans or Democrats, just the “Have’s” and the “Have Not’s”. And that’s a pretty profound statement, like it or not, and it’s true to a certain point. Certain political entities in this country love nothing better than separating those two groups whenever possible to garner votes.
I’ve been known to take shots at the wealthier class of people in this country only because I felt it was necessary. I recently discovered a book titled The Rich Are Different. I’m a firm believer that statement is true but I’m not sure if it’s a good ‘different’ or a ‘bad different’. Here are a few pearls of wisdom from that book and a few of our richer, upper-class citizens.
When the Duke of Marlborough could no longer afford his valet, who had, among other things, always put the paste on the Duke’s toothbrush, the nobleman’s shock was palpable. “What’s the matter with my tooth brush?” He exclaimed. “The damn thing won’t foam anymore!”
“Until the age of twelve I sincerely believed that everybody had a house on Fifth Avenue, a villa in Newport and a steam driven, oceangoing yacht.” Cornelius Vanderbilt Junior
“I have had no real gratification or enjoyment of any sort more than my neighbor on the next block who is worth only a half million.” William K. Vanderbilt
“Prior to the Reagan era, the newly rich aped the old rich. But that isn’t true any longer. Donald Trump is making no effort to behave like Eleanor Roosevelt as far as I can see.” Fran Leibowitz
“With money in your pocket you are wise, you are handsome, and you sing well, too.” Yiddish Proverb
“No rich man is ugly.” Zsa Zsa Gabor
During the 1887 Saratoga racing season, William Collins Whitney lost $385,000 at the gambling tables while waiting for his wife to finish dressing.
“We don’t pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.” Leona Helmsley
“What’s the use of money if you have to earn it?” George Bernard Shaw
HOW COULD ANYONE THINK THE RICH AREN’T JUST LIKE US
For many years after moving to New England, I spent a great deal of time in dozens of local cemeteries in southern Maine, checking out epithets, and anything else interesting that I could find. There was a time when I would stretch T-shirts over old tombstones and do rubbings of family names and places which I then sold in a local gift shop. Business became so brisk I was able to take requests from certain families to memorialize their long dead relatives. It was a little weird at times but very interesting. I also got to meet a few of the local law enforcement officers who repeatedly stopped to check me out. The epithets were remarkable since most of the early deaths were colonists from England, the home of the limerick. What follows are not the ones I discovered back then but discoveries made by other morbid folks who were also fascinated by them. Here are a few priceless ones I think you might enjoy.
Sacred to the memory of Anthony Drake,
Who died for peace and quietness’ sake.
His wife was constantly scolding and scoffin’,
So, he sought for repose in a twelve-dollar coffin.
For those of you limerick lovers, I thought I’d give you a small selection from a category called “Oral Irregularities”. No further explanation is necessary, just enjoy them.
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, then you know I enjoy bawdy limericks as well as really dirty and funny jokes. With the last dregs of winter upon us I thought we could all use a few really good dirty jokes to start our day. As I was surfing the net, I discovered these three quite by accident and I absolutely loved them. I’m sure they will get a chuckle out of just about everyone. Here they are . . .
NUNS
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line.” And they do so. St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time that I kinda-sorta touched one with the tip of my pinky finger” St. Peter says, “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well, there was this one time that I held one for just a moment”. Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you will be admitted” and she does so. Now at this time, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There’s no rush!” Sister Susan responds, “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
LITTLE BILLY
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in, and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his dad came home Billy said, “Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?” His father thinking quickly said, “Son, that’s so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.” “Gee Dad that’s great,” said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, “Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!” “What do you mean?” said Dad. “Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, “Jesus I’m coming, I’m coming” If it hadn’t of been for Uncle George holding her down, we’d have lost her for sure!”
THE FACELIFT
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the salesclerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,”he replied. “I’m actually 47,” the woman said, feeling really happy. After that she went into McDonald’s for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, “Oh, you look about 29.” “I am actually 47!” she said, feeling really good. While standing at the bus stop, she asked an old man the same question. He replied, “I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman’s age. If I put my hand up your skirt, I’ll be able to tell your exact age.” There was no one around, so the woman said, “What the hell?” and let him slip his hand up her skirt. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, “OK, you are 47.” Stunned, the woman said, “That was brilliant! How did you do that?” The old man replied, “I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.”
I hope you got a good laugh out of these three jokes. What a better way to start your day with some good filthy humor. More to come in the future.
Everyone seems to love animals. Here are a few facts that are interesting, and some that are a bit disgusting. Read on . . .
Squid have the largest eyes of any animal on earth.
Giraffes sleep the least of any mammal.
Many lipsticks contain fish scales.
Sharks, including hammerheads, as well as mackerels have the ability to skip sleep altogether.
Thirty-two pigeons, twenty-eight dogs, three horses, and one cat have received medals for bravery in wartime.
99.9% of all species that have existed on the earth are now extinct.
An ostrich’s eye is larger than its brain.
Hangfish can fill a gallon sized bucket with slime in less than 1 minute.
Catfish have a better sense of taste than humans.
Cat urine glows under a black light.
Dogs generally prefer to eat the protein-rich poop of cats.
Birds do not pee.
Cow’s milk gives most cats a case of diarrhea.
Fish, jellyfish, frogs, and toads have all been known to fall out of the sky.
Some fish can walk.
Who knew that animals could be so bizarre? Maybe next time I’ll come up with a list of oddities from us humans. It’s likely they’ll be even stranger than the ones about animals.
I thought a few limericks were in order today. The first one was created just for my better-half’s sister. The remainder are just for fun.
There once was a lady from BelAir
Who had long and flowing hair.
When she jumped into bed,
she often hit her head,
but never disturbed a single hair.
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A health-care provider from Bloom
Wanted someone to paint her living room.
The price for a painter was high
But she knew how to be sexy and shy,
and hopefully the painting will be done soon.
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There are my two “G” rated limericks. I normally don’t post them, but these are being done for special people. Now I can get on with a few more interesting ones that have a little more “Oomph”.
everyuselessthing.com 