After receiving a few requests, it’s time for more retro bumper stickers. I’ve actually found a number of them that I’m in the process of having reprinted for my own use. I could be convinced to stick them on a few cars whose drivers have aggravated me. I’m also working on one for people who park inappropriately, to stick on their windshields. I’m a baaaad man.
I’m sending these rather bawdy limericks along after receiving a few requests for a raunchier selection. I’m nothing if not a people pleaser, so here they are. That’s right, you know who you are!!
As I was driving home this morning from the dentist’s office I was listening to the latest news from the Ukraine and Russia. I was thinking, what would President Biden do if something like this were to happen here. It’s not that I’m not a big fan of Biden, which I’m not, I just don’t think any politician that I know of currently would know exactly what to do in this type of situation. Out of all of the people involved Putin is the only one with a World War II mindset, and a real lack of concern for the deaths and destruction that he is causing. Most of our World War II politicians are either out of office or dead. Unfortunately, you need somebody who thinks like he does and won’t hesitate to return all the nastiness right back at him. Leadership is something you can’t really teach. True leaders have a knack in their dealings with people and how they problem solve. Here are few opinions on leadership you might find interesting.
“The leader holds his position purely because he is able to appeal to the conscience and to the reason of those who support him, and the boss holds his position because he appeals to fear of punishment and hope of reward. The leader works in the open, and the boss in covert. The leader leads, and the boss drives.” Theodore Roosevelt
“A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.” Martin Luther King Jr.
“I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment, failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer, I should at once have been rightly cast aside.” Winston Churchill
“Your position never gives you the right to command. It only imposes on you the duty of so living your life that others can receive your orders without being humiliated.” Dag Hammarskjöld
HOPE AND PRAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS NEVER OCCURS HERE
I normally don’t like to write about politics. Years ago, that’s all I was interested in, but finally common sense prevailed. Today my post will be a little political but coming from a completely new direction. I’m going to talk today about presidents and some of the statistics and trivial facts that aren’t readily known.
We’ve has 47 presidents (counting Grover Cleveland twice).
The average age of our presidents at the date of Inauguration was 56.23 years.
The average life expectancy of the presidents has been 72.2 years.
George Washington wanted Americans to address him as “His Mightiness the President.”
While he was president, Franklin Pierce was arrested for running down an elderly woman in his carriage. He was later found not guilty.
President Warren G. Harding exercised regularly by playing ping-pong.
Herbert Hoover was the first president to have a telephone in his office. Earlier, presidents who wanted to use the phone had to use the one in the hall.
Grover Cleveland, 22nd president, was the first one to leave the country while in office. But he didn’t go far. He sailed into international waters 3 miles off the United States coast and did a little fishing and then returned.
Andrew Jackson, known for his colorful language, apparently taught his pet parrot to curse. When Jackson died in 1845, the parrot was brought to his funeral. It swore at him through the entire service.
It was so cold at Ulysses S. Grant’s inauguration that the canaries that were supposed to sing during the inaugural ball froze to death.
Right after I awoke this morning, I got online and was watching a blurb from one of Sarah Silverman’s podcasts. I’ve always been a fan of Silverman and I appreciate her views on a lot of subjects and love her comedy. She was talking briefly about being taken to task by Paris Hilton for some jokes made a number of years ago when Hilton seemed to be on every TV, every hour, and was just annoying as she could be. Sarah doesn’t need me to defend her because she’s more than capable of doing that job all by herself. I just thought I’d make a few comments of my own and exercise my Freedom of Speech. Please Ms. Hilton, “Shut the hell up”. I’m certain you will make sure you get as much media coverage as you can now that you’re a reformed celebrity and a wife. I’d better not see any honeymoon videos accidently released to the media as has happened a few times in the past. Just to let everyone know how I really see her, read a few of her ridiculous pearls of wisdom she insisted on sharing with the world.
“Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.”
There’s nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana and, right now, I’m that icon.”
“I don’t think there’s ever been anyone like me that’s lasted.”
William Penn Adair Rogers (November 4, 1879 – August 15, 1935) was an American vaudeville performer, actor, and humorous social commentator. He was born as a citizen of the Cherokee Nation, in the Indian Territory (now part of Oklahoma) and was known as “Oklahoma’s Favorite Son”.By the mid-1930s, he was hugely popular in the United States for his leading political wit and was the highest paid of Hollywood film stars. He died in 1935 with aviator Wiley Post when their small airplane crashed in northern Alaska.
That last paragraph is the current description of this man but barely does him justice. He and Mark Twain have always been my two favorite philosophers. I’ve read the writings of many of the ancient philosophers, but they are difficult to relate to. These two men always used wisdom delivered with biting humor to make their points and it was magical. Here is just a small sampling of his quotes which still ring true here in the twenty-first century. Enjoy . . .
“After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him… The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.”
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
“Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.”
“The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.”
“If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership.”
“The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back.”
“If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.”
“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.”
“Last year we said, ‘Things can’t go on like this’, and they didn’t, they got worse.”
“A man only learns by two things; one is reading, and the other is association with smarter people.”
“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
I’ve been an animal lover all of my life. I’ve had all sorts of pets from ferrets, snakes, dogs, cats, and the list goes on and on. Today I thought I’d share with you some odd and trivia type facts on the animal kingdom. With this started . . .
A group of apes is called a shrewdness.
A group of alligators is called a congregation.
The blue whale has the largest penis of any organism on earth (8-10 ft).
The female barkfly has a penis, which is used to extract sperm from the male barkfly’s vagina.
A group of cockroaches is called an intrusion.
Boars can ejaculate continuously for up to 7 min.
A severed cockroach head can survive for hours.
The decapitated cockroach can live for weeks before it starves to death.
Fleas can survive for up to 100 days without a meal (without sucking your blood).
Cats are more popular pets and dogs.
The canine nose has more than four times as many scent receptors as the average cat nose (and more than 14 times as many as the human nose).
A dog on average has 42 teeth, compared to 30 teeth for domestic cats.
Cats can be left-handed.
Each year nearly 4,000,000 cats are eaten in China as a delicacy.
Electric eels generate enough electric charge to kill a horse or a human.
I think that’s enough for today and I’m sure you learned more than you ever cared about knowing of the weird and wonderful world of animals.
As I stated on so many occasions, I am a rabid science-fiction fan. I’ve been reading science fiction material since I was a kid when I found a copy of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea in a box of trash near a neighbor’s home. While admittedly there’s a lot of crap out there calling itself science-fiction, the classics remain the classics. Two days ago, I started reading the Foundation Series by Isaac Asimov again. As a young man I read it the first time but to understand it at that age was difficult. I’ve read the entire series three times since and every time I find more things I missed. As I began to read it again my thoughts came back to Isaac Asimov himself and the fact that he was not only an incredible writer but also wrote many outrageous and bawdy limericks. I thought I pass a few of those along to you today because he really knew how to craft limericks. Here are a few . . .
I’m a little depressed today after reviewing the maneuverings of Putin in Russia. His attempts to reconstruct the old USSR continue. I think that’s a foolish goal and will do nothing except destroy the economies of millions of people and caused the deaths of thousands more. Putin is old school, and he thinks and acts like it’s still World War II. Thinking like the KGB operative he once was he’s sure he’s the baddest guy on the block. The day will come when he’ll be forced to recognize that the days of the KGB and the USSR are over. He’s following in the footsteps of Russia’s worst enemy and is making the Ukraine the new Poland. Fortunately for the world, tyrants almost never meet a happy end. Here are a few additional thoughts on tyrants.
Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
“It is an is characteristic of a tyrant to dislike everyone who has dignity or independence; he wants to be alone in his glory, but anyone who claims a like dignity or asserts his independence encroaches upon his prerogative and is hated by him as an enemy to his power.”
“A tyrant should also endeavor to know what each of his subjects says or does, and should employ spies . . . For the fear of informers prevents people from speaking their minds, and if they do, they are more easily found out. Another art of the tyrant is to sow quarrels among the citizens.”
Joseph Campbell (1904-1987)
“The tyrant is proud, and therein resides his doom. He is proud because he thinks of his strength as his own; thus, he is in the clown role, as a mistaker of shadow for substance; it is his destiny to be tricked.”
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