Archive for the ‘fun’ Tag
🖊Stupid Headline🖊 Leave a comment
📣Quotation Alert📣 Leave a comment
“Between two evils, I always pick
the one I never tried before.”
Mae West (August 17, 1893 – November 22, 1980) was an American actress who worked in vaudeville and later in movies. She is best remembered for her dirty jokes and comedy movies. Her name when she was born was Mary Jane West. She was born in Brooklyn, New York City, and died in Hollywood, California.
01/29/2022 Yogi Knows All 2 comments
Let’s have a little fun today. While I’m not the greatest sports fan who’s ever lived, I have a deep and abiding passion for baseball. Not listening to or watching games on television (other than the Little League World Series) but actual playing at it for many years. I find watching sports these days is as much fun as watching paint dry. They’re not the same games as they were when I was growing up. All that being said there are certain things about sports that are universal and forever and one of those is the words of wisdom spoken by Yogi Berra. He was a great ballplayer, but his little tidbits of wisdom made him more famous than baseball. I’ve picked up a few of them here and there over the years and then I discovered a gold mine of them in recent weeks. These are the ones I like the best and here they are for your enjoyment. Let’s go…
- “This is like déjà vu all over again.”
- “You got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”
- In reference to movie star Steve Queen, “He must’ve made that movie before he died.”
- When asked what he would do if he found $1 million, he stated, “I’d find the fellow who lost it and if he was poor, I’d return it.”
- “Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.”
- “A nickel isn’t worth a dime today.”
- When asked for the time, he stated, “Do you mean now?”
- “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
- “I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it wasn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”
- “It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”
- When asked about his hat size he stated, ” I don’t know. I’m not in shape yet.”
- “You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”
- “I take a two-hour nap, from one o’clock to four.”
- “You give 100% in the first half of the game, and if that isn’t enough, in the second half you give what’s left.”
- “I didn’t really say everything I said.”
Well, there you have it folks. The sport of baseball hasn’t been the same since Yogi retired and passed away. We need more like him in all of today’s sports to keep us aware that it’s just a game for kids. That’s how it was before it became nothing but agents, money, negotiations, social media, media interviews, and a few hundred talking heads who think they have all the answers. They’ve all done their best to ruin “Americas Pastime” and it’s a damn shame.
STRIKE 1, STRIKE 2, STRIKE 3
YOUR OUT!
🚙Bumper Sticker🚙 Leave a comment
Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway
🚓Stupid Headline🚓 Leave a comment
Police Find Crack in Man’s Buttocks
⚡Limerick Alert⚡ Leave a comment
1941
There’s an oversexed lady named Whyte
Who insists on a dozen a night?
A fellow named Cheddar
Had the brashness to wed her,
His chance of survival is slight.
1946
It’s only human nature after all
If a fellow puts a girl against the wall
And his inclination
Into her accommodation
To increase the population
Of the rising generation –
Why, it’s only human nature after all.
😱Stupid Headline😱 Leave a comment
Dog Saves Owner’s Life After Cat Starts Fire
01/23/2022 🍺Beer🍺 Leave a comment
Let me start off by saying that I’m not a beer drinker. I haven’t had much use for drinking beer since my early years of college and even then, I mixed it with Seven-Up because I couldn’t stand the taste. Also, most of the girls wanted it sweetened and who was I to argue? And now I’m living with one of the greatest beer drinkers I’ve ever seen, my better-half. I would easily consider her a professional beer drinker. She knows all the brands, flavors, the history of the breweries, and that makes her an expert in my eyes.
Many years ago, I worked with a man who made her look like an amateur. This guy could sit and drink a half a case of beer, leave the bar, and drive home. I never saw him intoxicated regardless of how many beers he slugged down in the course of the evening. I consistently ragged on him about drinking too much beer because even then I didn’t have much use for it. Finally, he decided to respond to my constant badgering and gave me the list you’re about to read. He felt that I spent most of my time chasing women and that in his opinion beer was way better than women. Here we go, his list of reasons that beer is better than women.
- You can enjoy beer all month long.
- You don’t have to wine and dine a beer.
- A beer will wait patiently for you in the car when you play sports.
- Beer is never late.
- Hangovers go away, beer never does.
- When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.
- Beer never has a headache.
- A beer won’t get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
- If you pour a beer just right, you’ll always get good head.
- A beer always goes down easy.
- You always know if you’re the first one to pop a beer.
- Beer is always wet.
- Beer doesn’t demand equality.
- The beer doesn’t care when you come.
- You don’t have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
As I was typing this list, I had a small but equally important epiphany. While I dislike beer immensely, I absolutely love bourbon. If I replace the word beer in this list with the word bourbon, it still makes perfectly good sense. I guess it’s true what they say.
LOVE IS BLIND
everyuselessthing.com 