Archive for the ‘halloween’ Tag
With Halloween on the horizon, I thought I’d give you a dose of weird. Just a few little tidbits of bizarre things that humans insist on using as an excuse for questionable behavior. Here we go . . .
In January of 2008, an 81-year-old Chilean man woke up at his own funeral. His family dressed him in his finest suit and laid him out for a proper way, only to witness him opening his eyes midmorning. Upon waking he simply asked for a glass of water. The family was overjoyed.
The Dunkenfield Crematorium in Manchester, England, once asked local residents and clergyman to support its plan for heating and powering its chapel and boiler using the heat created by burning bodies.
“It rubs me the wrong way, a camera . . . It’s a frightening thing
. . . Cameras make ghosts out of people.”
Bob Dylan
In Paris in the 20th Century, Jules Vern describes the Paris skyline dominated by a large metallic structure. The book was written in 1863, years before the Eiffel Tower was even conceptualized in 1887.
The state of Idaho has enacted a provision known as the “Ghost in the Attic” statute, which went into effect in 1998. It states that neither the homes seller nor the seller’s broker is liable for not disclosing that the property may be haunted. Even if the house is the site of a known suicide or homicide, the seller need not disclose this fact unless the buyer specifically writes to the seller and inquires.
Triskaidekaphobia is a morbid fear of the number 13 or the date Friday the 13th. In early Christianity, the number thirteen was considered unlucky because it was the number of persons present at the Last Supper, and the day Friday unlucky because Christ was said to have been crucified on a Friday.
In you love candles you need to know these following facts since they have always been shrouded in mystery and superstition.
- If a candle blows out during a ceremony, it’s a warning that evil is nearby.
- Three lit candles in a row are bad luck, so be sure to blow one out if you see them.
- Light a candle inside jack-o’-lantern on Halloween to guard against evil spirits that are lurking about.
- If you look into a mirror by candlelight, you are risking bad luck, but you might also find the souls of the dead there.
- A cork candle is a small, sourceless flame that floats through the night air and is believed to be a lost soul. The sight is considered an omen of death.
“Some of mankind’s most terrible misdeeds have been committed
under the spell of certain magical words or phrases.”
James Bryant Conant
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
When I started this blog many years ago it took me a while to come up with a proper name. Once the decision was made to call it “every useless thing” I was hooked into providing as many weird and unusual facts as I could find. I’ve created a rather large library of totally useless information and it’s my pride and joy. If I’ve calculated properly, I have enough facts and trivia to continue this blog for 10 more years and never repeat the same item twice. I get to find them and post them, and unfortunately you get to read them. Here we go . . .
- Reese Witherspoon has two pet donkeys.
- Keanu Reeves was born in Lebanon.
- The iconic mask used in the 1978 horror film Halloween was a plastic Captain Kirk mask from Star Trek, spray-painted white and with its eyeholes enlarged.
- The S. S. Minnow of Gilligan’s Island fame was named after former chairman of the FCC, Newton Minnow, who considered television to be a “vast wasteland.
- The maiden name of Betty rubble from the Flintstones show was Betty Jean McBricker.
- To complete the pair, the maiden name of Wilma Flintstone was Wilma Slaghoopel.
- In the United States, the last year that somebody officially died of “old age” was 1951 That’s the last year “old age” was listed on death certificates. It’s now referred to as death by “natural causes.”
- Robert Williams is the first known person to be killed by a robot. He worked at a Ford automobile factory and was struck in the head by a robot in 1979.
- Amalie Auguste Melitta Benz was the un-famous inventor of the coffee filter.
- The first mechanically sliced loaf of bread was sold under the famous Wonder Bread brand in 1930.
AND THE BEAT GOES ON
This is not one of my favorite times of the year. Summer is ending, skies are gray, rain is cold, leaves are dropping, and the runup to the end-of-year holidays has begun. A little depressing to say the least. I can deal with depression but it’s also very annoying. I thought a quick compilation of my major annoyances would be in order and here they are.
- Leave it up to the money hungry retailers to have Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas merchandise already displayed. IT’S OCTOBER YOU MORONS!
- People who insist on talking over me during a conversation makes me want to scream. JUST PLAIN RUDE!
- Every Wendy’s that lists coffee on the menu and then makes me wait until they make a pot. Every time! WORST KIND OF CUSTOMER SERVICE!
- The person in front of me at the express checkout line with an entire cart load of merchandise. ASSHOLE!
- Black Friday was always annoying, but this year should be priceless. They’ve begun advertising it already. CORPORATE GREED!
- Anyone still writing checks at the register in a food store. SHEER STUPIDITY!
- Anyone who has a debit card but can’t figure out how to use it. EXASPERATING!
- People who claim to have something really important to tell me, then send a four-word text message. CALL ME!
- Any person, male or female, who is more than 30 pounds overweight and attempting to slim down by wearing skinny jeans. SO BAD!!
- People who continually bitch and complain about their food and service in a restaurant. STAY HOME!
- Twenty or more minutes of every hour for moronic ads on every conceivable type of device. JUST KILL ME NOW!
- City workers and their gigantic snowplows destroying at least one of my mailboxes every year. IGNORAMUSES!
- People who insist on telling me all about their child who is an honor student somewhere. I DON’T CARE!
- Rear window decals displaying family members and pets. LAME!
A RANT ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL BETTER
I think many people have at least one phobia they must deal with. I’m claustrophobic and have been my entire life. Crowded stores and closed in spaces will make me more than a little crazy. That includes flying around the country in an enclosed metal tube on any airline. One of the more common phobias is coulrophobia which is a fear of clowns. I don’t fear them, but they sure make me a little uncomfortable. Today’s post includes many facts about that phobia and clowns in general. Read on all you clown haters.
- In a British survey of phobias, coulrophobia placed third, outranking common fears such as flying and heights.
- Experts attribute coulrophobia to the heavy makeup and exaggerated features of clowns, which can frighten young children.
- Others attribute coulrophobia to the prevalence of evil clowns in popular media, such as the child murdering Pennywise in Stephen King’s “It” and a clown doll that attacks a boy in Poltergeist.
- One of the worst serial killers in US history, John Wayne Gacy, entertained kids dressed as a clown.
- At one point some health activists wanted McDonald’s to drop Ronald McDonald as a mascot because he markets unhealthy food to children.
- Paul Kelly, son of famous clown Emmett Kelly Junior, was arrested in 1978 for the murders of two of his homosexual lovers. Kelly admitted to the slayings but listed his clown alter ego Willy as an accomplice.
- Famous celebrities who are known to fear clowns include Johnny Depp, Daniel Radcliffe, Billy Bob Thornton, and Sean Combs.
- Many experts point to obscure facial features as the most frightening aspect of clowns and relate this to masked or disfigured movie killers like Michael Myers in Halloween, Jason in the Friday the 13th movies and Freddy Krueger in the Nightmare on Elm Street.
- Coulrophobic Sean Combs has been known to include a “no clowns” clause in contracts even at the risk of being banned from his own shows.
- Coulrophobia can be treated with exposure therapy, which presents patients with photos and dolls of clowns to help them slowly work through their fears.
There you have it folks. Fear of clowns is more common than you thought. My biggest fear is that I walk into a small and confining space and then find a clown in there . . . run for your effing life.
WEAR A BIG RED NOSE TO WORK, I DARE YOU
Another week coming to an end and we’re already halfway through the month of September. The summer of 2016 went by in the wink of an eye and the holidays are again rushing towards us. I wonder to myself which retailer will strike the Christmas colors first. I suspect that as in years past Walmart will be the one to get things rolling 15 minutes after the Halloween holiday is over. That in itself is supremely depressing but it seems to get earlier and earlier every year regardless of how much we complain.
Yesterday I received this list of companies that have already made it known that Black Friday will begin for them by being open for business on Thanksgiving Day. I guess that’s the new approach to companies who put their employees families second on their list of priorities. That seems to be the ongoing retail way of thinking these days and unfortunately I can bitch about it all I want but no one in the retail establishment gives a damn what I think or what you think. Look at the upside . . . you’ll have a great place to spend your holiday if you get sick of eating Thanksgiving dinner, spending time with your family, or God forbid actually relaxing and enjoying the day. The almighty buck rules all. Make sure to thank these folks:
J.C. Penny
Kohl’s
Toy’s r Us
Target
Walmart
Sears
Macy’s
Belk
Sports Authority
h.h. greg
Dollar General
Best Buy
While I write this posting I have a Christmas wish that will never be fulfilled. I wish that the population of the millions of so-called consumers in this country would pull their collective heads out of the sand and stop allowing retailers to continue to think that the “great unwashed” are that easily controlled. It’s a lazy population that lets celebrities, the media, politicians, and big business tell them how to think, act, what to buy, and how to be politically correct at all times.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO US ALL
You usually get what you deserve.
‘This is written with my tongue lodged firmly in my cheek.’
Where did our Summer go? It seems like just a short time ago we were complaining about the heat and humidity and WHAM, all of a sudden we’re rolling into October and looking down the tunnel at that proverbial bright light approaching at seventy miles an hour. That light is the damn holiday season quietly sneaking up on us. It’s October for God’s sake. Doesn’t anyone care that it just too damn early to be worrying about the holidays. Stop the madness people.
I was in Lowe’s yesterday visiting my better-half who was tied up with a number of other employees doing their Christmas reset. Just shoot me now, please. What the hell are they thinking.
These retailers claim they start their seasonal BS early because of the huge demand for their holiday products. Honestly, when was the last time you ever heard anyone . . . that’s ANYONE say they were happy about seeing the Christmas season starting in early October. Never!! The truth of the matter is that the demand is created by the retailers themselves who lower their prices just enough to entice customers to the store. They can be so disingenuous at times it makes me crazy. It just goes to show you how stupid they think we the shopping public are. And sadly they’re right!
I refuse to be manipulated anymore. No early holiday nonsense for me, no Black Friday idiocy, and no paying attention to the thousands of emails that will be clogging my mailbox over the next ten weeks. I’m done with it.
I plan on spending exactly fifteen minutes on Christmas shopping this year and thank God for Amazon. A five minute walk-in at Toys R Us for two gift cards, a five minute walk-in at Home Depot for one gift card, and finally five minutes to order seven additional gift cards from Amazon. That leaves just a few gifts I need to purchase for my better-half which will be ordered on-line as well and shipped directly to our house.
Stick those gift cards in an envelope with a Christmas card and a short note and you’re DONE. No more stress, no more purchases of gifts that no one really wants or appreciates. Get your gift cards in the mail, buy what you want, and leave me alone. I never intend to spend more than an hour on Christmas preparations ever again.
I’m only asking Santa Clause for Amazon or Kindle gift cards this year since I’ve been very, very good. I’ve spent too many years getting clothing I hate and would never dare to wear, smiling and lying about how much I liked that fruit cake I received, and all of the required traveling around the countryside in terrible weather to visit people. I’m sorry folks, it’s nothing personal, but in my opinion if you’ve seen one Christmas tree you’ve seen them. So here is my collective seasons greetings for most of you in case I forget later.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
HAPPY HANUKKAH
HAPPY STUPID KWANSA
HAPPY SEINFELD FESTIVAS
MERRY CHRISTMAS
HAPPY NEW YEAR
I’m exhausted already from just listing all of this foolishness. I wish I could just go find a cave and hibernate until February 15. It would make for one of the best holiday seasons ever if I could.
BAH HUMBUG
Another Halloween has come and gone and it ended last night with a visit from the grandson. He’s now officially more than two years old and obsessed with all things Mickey Mouse. He’s a big fan of the Mickey Mouse Club much as I was while growing up but for entirely different reasons. He loves the music, wearing the ears, and dancing around. All I had was Annette Funicello and her two perky friends. It’ll be a another ten years before he begins enjoying that part of the Mickey Mouse Club.
Halloween is an odd holiday anyway and it’s more for the costumes and candy than anything else. Since I’ve pretty much given up on that part of the holiday I figured I was safe for another year. Leave it up to my better-half to come up with something for me do. She walks in the door two nights ago carrying bags of groceries which I later found out were for some party being held at her work place. She’d been anointed as the head cheerleader in that store as well as the official food preparer for all functions. Apparently my cooking services are available because of her and they get them free of charge.
I was sweetly requested to help prepare enough taco filling for ninety to a hundred tacos. That’s ten plus pounds of cow, browned perfectly and seasoned with that magical blend of Mexican spices. I began my preparations but something seemed to be missing and I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. It was this:
I think that cooking Mexican food of any kind without tequila or jalapeno flavored vodka is against the law in a few states or should be. I slammed down two quick shots of vodka, picked up a couple pounds of meat and got to work. Four shots and ten pounds of hamburger later the meat was cooked, seasoned, and packaged for shipment to the store. Not only was I relaxed, I was positively glowing.
The party was a huge success with more than ninety people filling up on tacos and enchiladas. It’s not your typical Maine meal by any means but everyone loved it anyway.
This Halloween I was able to do some cooking (I love that) for a large gathering that I didn’t have to attend (Yeah!), loaded up the grandson up with as much candy as possible which I wasn’t then forced to eat (Yeah again!), and didn’t have to worry about dressing up in silly costumes (Yeah #3!). That for me is a really successful Halloween and I hope to do it the same way next year. By then we’ll have a little brother or sister for the grandson tagging along to make it even more interesting.
I hope your holiday was as exciting as mine. There are times when I miss the costumes and craziness of years past but then good sense prevails, I have a glass of wine, and kick back and relax.
Well to continue the story as I promised in the last post, we (my better-half and I) were in dire need of pumpkins. Why, I honestly don’t know but we can’t live without them apparently. We especially need to find those ever so illusive white pumpkins which are just ghostly enough to make Halloween worth celebrating. After checking prices at Walmart and Lowes the decision was made to go elsewhere so as not to feel any more extorted than normal.
These days the prices continue to climb on just about everything. The love of the almighty dollar leaves little regard for us customers and with the advent of the big box retailers the days of lower prices at roadside stands are slowly disappearing. The farmers no longer try to beat the prices of the larger stores but are certainly happy to match them. That translates to an end of bargain prices for all of us.
Fortunately if you want to spend the time and effort there are still a few farmers who’ll sell their wares at a decent price, collect their profits, and retain their customer base. It’s one of those places that we headed to after our drive to Kennebunkport and the southern coast.
As we arrive at the farm there are piles and piles of pumpkins and squash of all sizes and kinds. These folks cultivate just over a hundred acres every year and they always seem to have excellent results. They actually sell a large portion of their products to local school districts for the kids lunches. I’ve always been a firm believer about "buying local" and supporting the farmers in our area and it’s folks like these that make that happen. They also give me an excellent place to take incredible Fall pictures. Here are a few.
My better-half made her purchases of an assortment of orange and white pumpkins with a promise to return and pick up a few cornstalks and a bale of hay or two. She feels the need to reassure me that we’re almost ready for Halloween and the Fall season. I’m so relieved.
everyuselessthing.com 