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Today is one of those dead days after the holidays where everyone is dragging ass with the loss of all that holiday adrenaline. I’ve decided I need to talk about politics for a bit after perusing the monthly observances listed for January.
Today is January 6th and I’ve discovered something earth shattering. The politicians must be losing their edge because not only have they chosen not to observe the 6th as Sherlock Holmes’s birthday which almost but not quite pisses me off, they’ve completely ignored the 6th for any type of recognition. While the 6th of January is included in some of the lame ass weekly observances, it doesn’t have a day of it’s own. How could our narcissistic and self-serving politico’s miss an opportunity like that. There’s a day for damn near everything and a few days that have multiple observances, so what the hell is wrong with the 6th of January?
Maybe it’s time for us to help those poor underpaid politicians do their job in a more proper fashion. How about we have the 6th remembered and observed as, “Take Down the Goddamn Christmas Tree Day” or “National Christmas Gift Refund Day”. Being as fair and balanced as I can possibly be I propose we name the 6th as “Take an Effing Liberal to Work Day”. We could show them off to our conservative friends and pass out a few food stamps as a surprise gifts.
The next time I have lunch with Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid I’ll make that suggestion. They’ve been avoiding me since I refused that threesome offer over our last lunch. They’re so sensitive when sexually rejected it may take a few months for another invite to come my way (no pun intended).
I can’t wait for next year, it’ll take me that long to choose my liberal work buddy. I have a complicated and fun selection process which will make as many liberals as possible as uncomfortable as possible.
So there!
Today is going to be creative cooking day for me. I have a few hours to kill so I decided it might be a great time to adjust my favorite salsa recipe, Corn & Black Bean. I want to make it a little more flavorful than usual with a few new ingredients I’ve not attempted before. This takes a while to do but adjusting the written recipe is always much easier than making it work in the pot.
In the past I normally add the black beans (my fav’s) to the pot towards the end of the cooking process. This allows them to cook slightly in the pot and more during the twenty minute canning process. If done properly they’ll cook just the right amount and won’t be mushy. My problem was getting the corn to be more flavorful. I wanted a natural smokiness to come through my salsa without using something manufactured, like Liquid Smoke, to do it. My solution was to switch from whole kernel yellow corn to white Shoe Peg corn. I prefer the flavor of Shoe Peg and it seems to hold it’s shape better when cooked. If everything cooks to mush it makes for a salsa with little or no texture.
I propose to take the corn from the cans and spread it on an cookie sheet lightly sprayed with olive oil. Then lightly spray the corn itself and sprinkle with Cumin. Place in the oven at 425 degrees until golden brow then remove it, stir it up, and replace in the oven. When it’s roasted to my liking I’ll remove it and set it off to the side. That’ll give the corn a huge boost of flavor with some crispiness as well.
I normally make my salsa’s extremely hot but without losing all of the flavor to the heat. I love habanero and in my opinion it has by far the best combination of flavor and heat. I also intend to add a dozen diced jalapenos for addition flavor and 6-8 Serrano peppers for more heat. That should allow me eliminate Cayenne pepper from my old recipe. While Cayenne has great heat it lingers in the back of the throat which I really don’t like.
I want a person eating my salsa to initially taste nothing but the flavors of the ingredients and then slowly feel the heat begin to rise. The more you eat the hotter it will get and to me that’s perfect. Well, I’m off to shop for ingredients at the local supermarket and I shall return.
Do-Wa, Do-Wa, Do Do Ditty (Just a time killing tune)
I’m back with two bags of all of my favorite things; assorted hot peppers, fresh herbs, white onions, and my absolute favorite, red onions. I have at least an hour of dicing up these goodies in preparation for cooking. I like to throw them all into one container so they can mix and mingle their flavors overnight in the fridge before I toss them in the pot tomorrow. Hopefully by Sunday afternoon I’ll have ten quarts of dynamite, smoking hot, and tasty salsa .
I can’t wait.
Peace and quiet. I really think that the older a person gets the more peace and quiet become important. From now until sometime in late April I’ll have a great deal of quiet. The peace portion is another matter since I’m in a an intimate relationship that at times can be less than peaceful. It’s the nature of the beast I suppose.
I plan ahead to these weeks of quiet all year long and set goals for myself to be accomplished before Spring arrives. I read a great deal, I write a lot, and I examine my life even more. I’ve always been a good motivator for people who worked for me but I’m even tougher on myself. I’m my own worst enemy when I feel I’m not getting anything accomplished in a given period of time.
I have a sculpture I’ve been messing with for almost a year. I sit and stare at it for hours upon hours looking for something. I know what I want to do with it but I’m experimenting with some new materials that I’m not sure will work. If they refuse to cooperate it will ruin all of the work already completed and I’ll be forced to start over from scratch. I know I’m over thinking things but that how I work. I know that within a week or so I’ll take the plunge and attempt to finish the project, one way or the other. Once I start I’ll work continuously until it’s completed. The best time of my life are those moments when I’m strictly focused on creating. I don’t want food, drink, or company, just peace and quiet. Hours will fly by like nothing and even sleep isn’t important. It’s the rush of seeing what’s been in my head for months finally escaping to become a reality.
It’s not only sculpture but other forms as well. Painting, writing, block printing, photography, watercolors, pen and ink, and anything else you can think of. Those moments of total concentration and focus are more important to my mental health than almost anything.
So now begins my three and a half months of quiet. I’ve been waiting for it to arrive and I plan on making the most of it. My better-half has left for work, the cats asleep some where in the house, the TV and radios are off, the cell phone is off, and I’m sitting here writing this. You can hear a pin drop. I’m in heaven.
Are you one of those folks who loves celebrating birthdays? If you are you have my deepest sympathies. I’m not arrogant enough yet to believe that the world and it’s occupants really give a damn when I was born or for that matter when I die. I’ve never seen it as a special day and only send two or three birthday cards a year to family members because it’s the politically correct thing to do. I’d much rather celebrate the things they’ve done in their lives rather than the date randomly determined by the whims of their parents based on when they copulated. It’s a little like Christmas to me in that it’s more for the youngest of us to enjoy. In my opinion we should stop celebrating kid’s birthdays when they stop believing in Santa.
All that being said I’m celebrating in a few days what some folks consider to be the birthday of a fictional character that has taken on a life of his own. Happy Birthday to Sherlock Holmes. There’s no way to actually determine the birth date of Holmes no matter how hard some obsessed fans try but it seems January 6th is the date that’s been decided upon. As I said in the above paragraph the date isn’t all that important to me. This fact was obtained from surveysez.com and will help make my point.
- The total number of Americans who have ever lived: 558.1 million (558,097,837)
Take the number of Americans who’ve ever lived since 1776 and divide that by 365. That would roughly indicate 1,529,035 people born on your birthday. I readily admit it’s not an accurate figure but it does prove my point that the date really isn’t all that meaningful in and of itself.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle created a character out of a need for money and it seemed to me, after reading about his life, he was quite the diva. When he tired of the Holmes character he killed him off without a thought and pursued more intellectual writings. It was too late to just walk away from Holmes as he soon found out. The fan base at the time raised so much hell he was forced to bring Holmes back to life with a lamely written explanation and proceeded to write many more Holmes mysteries.
I’ve never been a huge fan of Doyle but I’ve been captivated by the Holmes character since I was a kid. I’ve read every word written about the character, seen all the remakes, the movies (good, bad, or awful), and remain quite the fan. Even when the Law & Order program based Detective Goren’s (Criminal Intent) character on Holmes, I liked it a great deal.
Birthdays for us real people seem silly to me but a fictional character who has kept himself alive for decades deserves some recognition. Once again, Happy Birthday Sherlock!
The Christmas/New Year’s holidays are now passed and are slowly being erased from my memories or so I’d hoped. Only 363 shopping days left until Christmas. How’s that for a “buzz kill”. I spent a great part of the day today removing all traces of Christmas cheer from our home. I took down the lights, the tree, the ornaments, the knick-knacks, and anything else I could think of. Packaged them all up and hid them away in the attic for another year. I shouldn’t be too negative about these holidays since it was one of the better holiday seasons I’ve had in recent years.
I’ve now experienced my first holidays without both of my parents which was certainly a struggle at times. I spent a lot of time remembering my childhood Christmases and all the good times we had. My Mom loved Christmas most of all and always did everything in her power to make it special. Just after last Christmas and as her health began to fail, it was painfully obvious to those closest to her that she knew it would be her final Christmas. With the help of my sister she insisted on keeping the Christmas tree up well into April. She was enjoying her Christmas memories for the final time.
After finishing the general Christmas cleanup I decided to begin enjoying one of my favorite gifts, the extended Blue-ray DVD set of the Lord of the Rings. It’s 15 DVD’s just filled with more information that you can possibly handle. I lounged most of the day away suffering quietly from a minor hangover and watching the movies. I made it a full five hours and have only just finished watching the second installment. Best gift ever! I lost myself in Middle Earth for the day and it was wonderful.
My better-half returns to work tomorrow and she’s been mumbling and grumbling about it all day. I tried to make her feel better but to no avail. I did get a smirk or two when I mentioned in passing we were only 31 days from Ground Hog Day. It really didn’t seem to give her the boost I’d hoped but I’ll keep trying.
Off to bed for a good nights sleep then back to our somewhat normal existence tomorrow.
Happy New Year everyone. My best laid plans for our New Years celebration was only semi-successful. We had a few friends over early in the evening for drinks and few yucks. They had children at home looking to celebrate the New Year and needed to be there to supervise, so they left a little early. It was nice for a couple of hours to kick back and relax with some friendly faces. The get-together broke up early and my better-half immediately reheated the Chinese food she’d obtained earlier in the day and as always it was yummy and really filling.
I never planned on staying awake for the standard TV celebrations but my better-half insisted she was going to bring the New Year in properly by watching the ball drop with her favorite male fantasy figure, Ryan Seacrest. I retired to the bedroom to continue my readings on Harry Potter. I just finished book #6 and I was really getting excited about finishing the final volume over the next week or so. The story has slowly evolved from a kid’s story into a rather interesting novel. I’m glad I decided to hang in there and read them all.
It was 10:00 pm and I was really getting into the book when my half asleep better-half stumbled into the room, jumped into bed, and mumbled something about waking up just before midnight. I knew she was just kidding herself but I played along. It was lights out at 10:30 and no one woke up for the ball drop (sorry Ryan). We both slept straight through the night and wished each other a happy New Year around eight the next morning. I don’t care what anyone says, it was an excellent way to celebrate the end of 2012.
After a nice breakfast of twice reheated Chinese food with an egg on top we grabbed our cameras and hit the road. We had quite a lot of snow on the roads but we decided to explore some of the more rural areas looking for those elusive Kodak moments. It was cold and crisp and some of the snow scenes we shot were spectacular. Horse farms with horses in the snow, giant pine trees nearly bent over with the snow on their branches. This was the perfect way to spend a New Years Day.
After fifty or sixty miles and over a hundred photos later we returned home to get warm and to prepare a luscious pork roast dinner with sides of sauerkraut and mashed potatoes. We ended the day snuggled up on the couch watching a movie and looking at the days photo’s. Pretty damn nice if I do say so myself.
I can only hope that all of you enjoyed your day half as much as we enjoyed ours. Bring on 2013.
Last year at this time I decided to really and truly live up to and complete a list of ten New Year’s resolutions. Being the serious person that I am (no laughter please), I thought that if I created a more realistic list of things I just might accomplish them. If you read this blog recently you discovered that I successfully completed only five of my ten resolutions in 2012. I consider that a dismal failure.
I now will again promise to try harder in this coming year to meet and hopefully exceed my own expectations. As I stand here hanging my head in shame I propose this new list for 2013.
1. Don’t wear sweat pants outside the confines of the house less than twice a week (demanded by my better-half).
2. Pay less than $75.00 a month at Dunkin Donuts. I failed at the $50.00 level, now I’ll just up the monthly amount and hopefully be successful.
3. Tell my better-half I love her at least twenty times a day (again her idea).
4. Attempt to develop a casual and platonic friendship with my weird neighbors.
5. Convince my better-half that pizza is not an official food group and refuse to eat it more than once a week.
6. Don’t call the President a stupid, effing, liberal, socialist, narcissistic A-hole more than twenty times a week.
7. Read 3 non-fiction and 3 fiction books a month.
8. Fire at least 1000 rounds of ammo a quarter to fine tune my shooting skills to prepare for the impending anarchism which will follow.
9. Take a vacation to some exotic and strange non-American land (like maybe Boston, New York, San Francisco, or LA).
10. Refuse to eat dog food more than three times a month to help pay for my mandated Obamacare taxes.
It’s now a wait and see game. I’ll post the results again next December and hope for the best.
It’s New Years Eve-Eve. My sneaky scheme to convince my better-half to have a small party for New Years seems to have gone the same route as many of my other sneaky schemes, no where. There was some discussion of our visiting friends for a few hours prior to midnight but I honesty don’t think that’s going to happen. The last word I received yesterday was that we’re going to have a quiet night, just the two of us, for movies, Chinese food, and a marathon Scrabble game. I know, I know, it’s sounds really exciting so just calm down before you have a heart attack.
Most people don’t realize how exciting it is to spend time with us. You think that big party in Times Square and the dropping of the Big Ball is something, your wrong. Justin Bieber, Ryan Seacrest, and all of those other would be celebrities would kill to be sitting here again on our coach watching movies with us. You could cut the excitement with a knife, a really big and sharp knife.
Last year we threw a, New Years Day + 1, party so all of our celebrity friends from the so-so celebration in New Yorks Time Square could come to Maine the day after. We’re known far and wide for our fabulous gift bags that draw in the glitterati from all over the country and bring them up north to Maine. Beautiful imitation diamond earrings in the shape of lobsters for the women and a cool faux diamond incrusted diver’s watch favored by many of our local lobsterman. A magical Maine skin lotion, made from bear fat and moose extract is added to the bag and will keep their skin highly moisturized and baby soft. It’s also good for protection from the cold down to ten below zero. A good Chanel perfume will easily mask the odor of the bear fat.
As a special gift, we woke everyone up the morning after, collected all of their sleeping bags, and made them a hearty Maine breakfast of Moose and scrambled eggs. I can still remember Lady Ga Ga rolling out of one of the sleeping bags after a snuggly night with Justin Bieber. I’m not sure who I felt sorrier for in that circumstance but I think it was Justin. Next we passed out snowshoes for everyone and took a long, brisk walk through the snow covered Maine woods. Everyone immediately became a little sweaty and smelly so we took a quick dip in our local creek, after cutting a hole in the ice, to get their juices flowing again. Later after a few unrehearsed tunes from our guests back at the house, we said our final goodbye to end the celebration.
Who wouldn’t want to attend another party like that? I shouldn’t tell you this because it’s a huge secret and I wouldn’t want to alert the paparazzi but the 4:00am game of naked charades last year was incredible. Seacrest’s better-half, Julianne Hough, stopped the show when she was attempting the phrase, “your ass is mine”. I wasn’t quite right for a few hours after that. She eventually lost the game but everyone else was a definite winner. Although we did have a tough time keeping Jessica Simpson under control. Her cravings got out of hand when she viciously attacked a table full of the candied oyster appetizers. Not only can that girl sing, she can really eat too. It took four of us to get her off that table.
Now you know what you’ve been missing. Even Puerto Rico comes in a close second to these fun get-togethers, right Lily! I’ll be forced to blame my better-half for ruining another of our posh celebrity, New Years + 1 Day, parties. I must love her a lot because screwing me out of another exciting game of naked charades is not nice. I ask for so little . . .
I’ve always enjoyed the New Years holiday and I’ve partied my fair share over the years. No pressure for gifts, no family visitors, and no caroling or boring Christmas cards. Just get together, have a few drinks, dance a little, and be hung-over the next day. Hopefully not waking up in a jail cell or in bed with someone your not all that familiar with.
I’ve never been a big proponent of making New Year’s resolutions because I honestly never tried keeping them anyway. It’s just an exercise in futility and just another thing to depress the hell out me when in July I reread the list, swear a few times, and toss it in the can. The following five resolutions were put together by the US government and a few heath fanatics. Do they actually think I would take these politically correct items seriously? They’ve got to be kidding us and themselves.
1. Exercise or start a new physical activity
2. Eat more fresh foods
3. Make your home safer
4. Schedule regular checkups
5. Participate in cognitive health activities
Last year I decided to get more serious and came up with ten realistic resolutions that I might actually have a chance of completing. As you can see by the following results I wasn’t a total failure but my successes weren’t all that great either. Here they are:
1. Read four books a month.
COMPLETED – This was any easy one for me but I knew that going in. I figured I should have at least one I could accomplish without working too hard.
2. Keep the number of F-bombs below 100 a week.
FAILED – I’m sorry to say this one was much more difficult than I first thought. I blame my complete failure on my better-half who has an uncanny ability to bring the F-Bombs out of me.
3. Visit only the classiest porn sites no more than four times a day.
COMPLETED – Just barely.
4. Throw the finger at bad drivers no more than three times a week.
COMPLETED – I was especially proud of this accomplishment. There were times when I almost gave in to the dark side, but I hung in there.
5. Spend less than $50.00 a month at Dunkin Donut.
FAILED – I never had a chance on this one. I really don’t consider this a real failure because I suffer from an addiction. That excuse work’s for almost everyone else so I thought I’d give it a try.
6. Try not to call my cat a rotten SOB more than three times a day.
FAILED – He continuously baited me for a year to force my failure. Those damn cats are so sneaky.
7. Try not to scratch my junk in public more than twice a week.
COMPLETED – I kept it at a once a week level but again it was so damn difficult. It’s only human nature that if you have toys you play with them. Duh!
8. Drink less than last year but more than next year.
COMPLETED – I’ll make sure I drink the proper amount next year to make this a success.
9. Do not smoke marijuana. Baked in brownies only.
FAILED – Didn’t have it either way and I’m very sad about it.
10. Don’t dance naked near the picture window in the living room. It scares the neighbors dog.
FAILED – I really don’t like that dog and it was worth a failure here to again frighten and make her crazy. Damn dog.
I failed five of ten but in all honesty I tried my hardest. I’ll have my 2013 list completed soon and I’ll again try to make all of you proud. I hope you do the same and if you’d like to share your upcoming failures, please do so. I promise not to snicker or laugh. . . . really!
The snow has finally stopped with the final amount totaling close to 17 inches. My back, legs, and arms were telling me it was more like 100 inches but what do they know. I rolled out of bed early this morning and knew in my heart the driveway wasn’t finished with me yet. I didn’t realize just how right I was.
As a last gift from our town’s snow plow I found the bottom of my driveway completely blocked from their last visit sometime during the night. This is an annual bitch of mine that I need to tell someone about but believe me, no ones listening. I grabbed my shovel and out into the cold I went once again.
Let me set the scene for you. I’m standing at the end of my driveway with wet feet and sore limbs after shoveling for at least a half hour to clear the mess. I finally finished (or so I thought) and I looked up the road and what did I see but the towns frigging snow plow heading my way. I swear that damn driver was grinning as he reloaded my driveway with a ton of now slushy and dirty snow. He should thank whatever God he believes in that I wasn’t armed. I start shoveling again and still grumbling about it when ten minutes later I hear the plow making it’s return trip going in the other direction. The snow had stopped, the road was empty of traffic, it was just me and the snowplow, and the towns incompetent driver.
I was standing directly across the road from my (new this year) mailbox when the plow swooped through, hit my mailbox, spinning it completely around, and left the door hanging by a thread. This is the third effing mailbox in the last five years that I’ll be forced to replace. As I’m sure you know, I was no longer smiling. That was how my day started.
I finished the shoveling and decided I needed to get the hell out of the house for a few hours. I was suffering from a mild case of cabin-fever. I ran a few errands, bought a few books, and took a few photographs. My blood pressure finally returned to normal and the day once again became calmer and more enjoyable.
Upon the return of my better-half from work I was made aware that we would be meeting some friends a a local restaurant later in the day for a few drinks and appetizers. I actually was looking forward to that so after a quick hour on the X-Box, I showered, shaved, dressed, and was ready to go.
We met up with our friends, had a few drinks, and got caught up the latest gossip and had a great time. Being the law abiding citizen that I am I stopped after three glasses of wine and went to drinking coffee. It turned out to be my best move of the night.
As we headed home the night was clear and cold and we were chatting a little. Just a few minutes from our house all of a sudden two white tailed deer jumped from an embankment on our right landing directly in front of us. Lucky for us and them I was driving slowly enough to get stopped and to let them pass. Even so that still got the old heart racing for a few minutes.
I pull into our driveway and I could see that the town’s garbage men finally emptied our trash container. As I walked down the driveway to retrieve it I noticed how icy it had become. I yelled out to my better-half to be careful and as I did I slipped and fell on my ass and twisted my already damaged knee It was a little stiff last night but right now as I’m lying in bed writing this, it hurts too much to get up. Looks like a few more weeks of hobbling around until it heals again. I’m never all that surprised by my clumsiness but it’s getting really tiresome. I guess I can celebrate my first fall for 2012 and look forward to the first one that’s sure to come in 2013.
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