I’m reasonably sure that most of us are familiar with the saying “Kilroy was here.” I’m also sure that most of us (especially non-military folk) haven’t a clue where it came from and how it’s managed to survive since its creation early in World War II. Here’s part of that story . . .
The exact creation of this image has never been discovered. It began appearing early in World War II and was found on ships, railroad cars, bunkers, fences, the occasional fighter plane, bombs, and the occasional torpedo.
In 1946, just after the war ended, the American Transit Association began a search for the real Kilroy and offered a real trolley car as the prize. Approximately 40 men tried to claim the prize, which was eventually awarded to 46-year-old James J. Kilroy of Halifax, Massachusetts. The judges thought that his story was the most convincing. During the war, Kilroy was an inspector at the Bethlehem Steel shipyard in Quincy, Massachusetts, that produced ships for the military effort. Kilroy discovered that he was being asked to inspect the same ship bottoms and tanks again and again, so he devised a way to keep track of his work. He used a yellow crayon and wrote “Kilroy was here.” in big block letters on the hatches and surfaces of the ships he inspected. The same ships then made their way overseas with Kilroy’s inscriptions intact. Also, over the course of the war, 14,000 shipyard employees also enlisted, most of whom went overseas as well. No one knows who first decided to imitate the crayon scrawled words, but before long, soldiers saw them everywhere. It became common practice for the first soldier into a new area to pull out a piece of chalk and let those behind him know that Kilroy had already been there too.
True or not James J. Kilroy story convinced the judges and won the contest. What did he do with the trolley car? Kilroy had a big family, so he attached a 50 foot long, 12-ton trolley car to his house and used it as a bedroom for six of his nine children.
Just as an aside, I can’t tell you how many times when I was in the Army both here in the US and overseas, I discovered very quickly that “Kilroy was (already) here.” It was scrawled everywhere. Once while in Korea I was climbing through a deserted gun emplacement in the hills near Inchon. There was old graffiti on the walls from some Turkish soldiers which I couldn’t read and right next to them was a huge “Kilroy was here!” Most recently and most poignant was this magazine photo taken at the home of Osama bin Laden just after his capture.
TRUTHFULLY, I CONFESS TO PLACING “KILROY” ON A FEW THINGS MYSELF.
As you can imagine, I am continually on the lookout for anything humorous. Sometimes I get lucky and find a gold mine and other times I find myself severely disappointed. Recently I was out surfing sites for anything I could find, and I stumbled upon a book of 1001 one-liners, short jokes, and puns. I admit a preference for bawdy humor, but I thought I’d take a chance, and I bought this book. I’ll withhold my opinions, and you can decide whether I got taken or not.
I used to think an ocean of soda existed, but it was just a Fanta sea.
I like to drink my brandy neat but sometimes I take my tie off and leave my shirt out.
I must’ve eaten too much salmon. I just ran up an escalator that was coming down.
A sandwich walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”
My girlfriend told me she’s leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
I heard a rumor that they were giving away horse manure at a local fair, so I went down there to check it out. It was bullshit.
I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it but during the night he keeps the sheets off my legs.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.
A man entered a local newspapers pun contest. He sent in 10 different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.
There you have ten questionable jokes. I really believe I got taken on this purchase.
Here’s one of the few that I actually enjoyed:
I just saw a large singer with a laptop. It was a Dell.
I find it amazing that the longer I live the less I seem to know. I’ve spent many years compiling and posting odd facts and there’s no end in sight. Here are two questions that most people have wondered about at one time or another but never really obtained a reasonable answer for. Here’s your reasonable answers.
HOW DID THE WORD “COCKTAIL” ORIGINATE?
A cocktail is an alcoholic drink that comprises a number of ingredients that are mixed or shaken together. There are hundreds of different concoctions and their often sweet, colorful and interestingly named, such as the Grasshopper, the Rusty Nail, Sex on the Beach and the Slippery Nipple. There seem to be hundreds of explanations for the origination of that word but many of them are utter nonsense. This is one explanation that caught my attention, and I immediately chose to believe it. In the 18th century an innkeeper named Betsy Flanigan stole chickens from her neighbors and cooked them for her patrons. After the meal, she would serve mixed drinks and place a chicken feather in each of them. At this display, one French customer yelled, “Vive le cocktail.“ I know that sounds silly but it’s no sillier than many of the others I’ve read about. This is my favorite explanation, and I hope it’s true.
WHEN AND HOW WAS TOILET PAPER INVENTED?
The Chinese invented toilet paper in the 14th century, and the Bureau of Imperial Supplies produced paper for use by the Chinese emperors. In 1857 the first factory producing toilet paper was made by American Joseph Cayetty who named his product Therapeutic Paper, and it was sold in packs of 500 sheets. Before the invention of toilet paper, different areas of the world use different things. Public toilets in ancient Rome provided a moist sponge on the end of the stick, while the Vikings who occupied England used discarded wool, and later in the Middle Ages that was replaced by a balls of hay. In Hawaii, meanwhile, coconut husks were used, while the early Eskimos used snow and tundra moss. French royalty used strips of lace and British lords used pages from books. In the United States, newspapers and telephone directories were commonly used, as were other books. The Old Farmer’s Almanac was actually printed with a hole punched through the corner of each page so that it could be hung in outhouses, and the Sears catalog was widely used until it began being printed on glossy paper. It’s use as a hygiene product became instantly unpopular as did corncobs in farm country.
Q. What’s better than a rose on your piano? A. Tulips on your organ.
A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” “Tell me all of your sins, my daughter.” “Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend made hot, passionate love to me seven times,” she says. The priest thinks about this long and hard and says, “Go home and take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass and drink it.” “Will this cleanse my soul of all my sins?” “No,” the priest says, “but it will certainly wipe that smile off your face!”
A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. He notices that she’s reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it, and she replies, “This is a very interesting book! It says that American Indians have the longest penises, and Italian men are the best in bed. By the way, my name is Jill. What’s yours?” “Tonto Tortolini, nice to meet you.”
Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other? A. We do taste like chicken!
A woman enrolls in nursing school and is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks her if she knows what her asshole does when she’s having an orgasm. “Sure,” she says. “He’s at home taking care of the kids.”
Dominoes originated in Asia around 1100 A.D. They were, and still are, used as a divinatory tool and not just a game of numbers.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are at least 50 years old.
The egg plant is a member of the thistle family.
The first city in the United States to fluoridate its water was Grand Rapids, Michigan in 1945.
The first state in the United States to use the gas chamber was Nevada in 1924.
“Everybody loves you when you’re six feet in the ground.”
John Lennon
In Los Angeles in 1976, a woman legally married a 20 pound rock with 20 guests present.
Former United States president Gerald Ford changed his name when he was 22 – a good thing, because his birth name was Leslie Lynch King, Junior.
John Lennon’s killer, Mark David Chapman, was a church group leader. It is said that he would lead sing-alongs to the tune of Lennon’s song “Imagine,” during which he would change the lyrics to “Imagine there’s no John Lennon.”
The Code of Hammurabi in Babylon specified that a merchant could be put to death for diluting beer.
“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many
things that escape those who dream only at night.”
Have you ever gone to the track and bet on a horse? Have you ever tracked the odds on your horse? It always amazed me that someone actually sat in an office somewhere and computed those odds. No one actually knows what criteria is used or even if they’re accurate but what the hell do I know, I’m not a gambler. Today’s post is going to be more of the same. I found this information quite by accident and I knew immediately that I had to post it. If you think horseracing odds were hard to compute, these are even more ridiculous. You might find them interesting, and I hope you do.
With Halloween on the horizon, I thought I’d give you a dose of weird. Just a few little tidbits of bizarre things that humans insist on using as an excuse for questionable behavior. Here we go . . .
In January of 2008, an 81-year-old Chilean man woke up at his own funeral. His family dressed him in his finest suit and laid him out for a proper way, only to witness him opening his eyes midmorning. Upon waking he simply asked for a glass of water. The family was overjoyed.
The Dunkenfield Crematorium in Manchester, England, once asked local residents and clergyman to support its plan for heating and powering its chapel and boiler using the heat created by burning bodies.
“It rubs me the wrong way, a camera . . . It’s a frightening thing
. . . Cameras make ghosts out of people.”
Bob Dylan
In Paris in the 20th Century, Jules Vern describes the Paris skyline dominated by a large metallic structure. The book was written in 1863, years before the Eiffel Tower was even conceptualized in 1887.
The state of Idaho has enacted a provision known as the “Ghost in the Attic” statute, which went into effect in 1998. It states that neither the homes seller nor the seller’s broker is liable for not disclosing that the property may be haunted. Even if the house is the site of a known suicide or homicide, the seller need not disclose this fact unless the buyer specifically writes to the seller and inquires.
Triskaidekaphobia is a morbid fear of the number 13 or the date Friday the 13th. In early Christianity, the number thirteen was considered unlucky because it was the number of persons present at the Last Supper, and the day Friday unlucky because Christ was said to have been crucified on a Friday.
In you love candles you need to know these following facts since they have always been shrouded in mystery and superstition.
If a candle blows out during a ceremony, it’s a warning that evil is nearby.
Three lit candles in a row are bad luck, so be sure to blow one out if you see them.
Light a candle inside jack-o’-lantern on Halloween to guard against evil spirits that are lurking about.
If you look into a mirror by candlelight, you are risking bad luck, but you might also find the souls of the dead there.
A cork candle is a small, sourceless flame that floats through the night air and is believed to be a lost soul. The sight is considered an omen of death.
“Some of mankind’s most terrible misdeeds have been committed
under the spell of certain magical words or phrases.”
Here are a few limericks concerning food. They aren’t that bawdy, but they should still be considered “food for the soul”. So, enjoy them all especially the one with those juicycantaloupes.
I can tell that today is not going to be a fun day. First of all, this is a “change of season” month, and I find from years of experience that “change of season” months usually suck. The clouds are gray, the sky is gray, the garden plants are all dead, all the “cool” birds have headed south for the winter, and I’m hip deep in effing leaves. Here’s my good survival tip for living in Maine. You must always and I do mean always have an electric blanket somewhere nearby for heat emergencies at this time of the year. Last night I earned a “7” out of ten on my electric blanket. I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. not for my normal bathroom visit but because my teeth were chattering so loud, I was waking up the cat. I’m just not ready for this crap weather and the coming winter. Maybe it’s just old age creeping up on me which tends to be happening more and more these days.
As the years go by, I’ve given a lot of thought to my final days, and I’ve discovered that only two things really matter at that point. If you want to leave some sort of legacy all you need to do is leave two things: a self-written epithet for your headstone or (for you urn people) a really cool quote for your final words. Today’s post is a list of the final words of a few well-known people. Some are profound and some are not, you be the judge.
H. G. Wells (1866-1946) stated to his nurse: “Go away. I’m all right.”
Brigham Young (1801-77) stated “Amen”.
George Washington (1732-99) stated to his doctor, “Doctor, I die hard, but I’m not afraid to go.”
Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) “Please put out the light.”
Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) “Drink to me.”
Elizabeth I (1533-1603) “All my possessions for a moment of time.”
So how would you all like to have a homework assignment. If you’re so inclined, send me your epitaph and last words and hopefully by then I’ll have mine done and will I’ll post them.
everyuselessthing.com 