Archive for the ‘Just Saying’ Category
Well, we’re ten days into the month of November and it’s hard to believe that just a few short weeks ago I was sitting on my deck wearing a T-shirt and shorts and enjoying the warm weather. In my attempt to be optimistic I refuse to think that for the next long, boring, and weather beaten five months I’ll be housebound.
Today is a day of odds and ends. I first went to the granddaddy of all retailers, Walmart, to pick up a few things and to enjoy a reasonably nice day. Walmart as usual is a freaking zoo. Just pulling into the parking lot is an adventure where all those years of amusement park bumper cars finally paid off. It’s a Friday morning in November at 7:15 am and I was hard-pressed to find a decent parking spot. The lot was full, people wandering everywhere, and none paying the slightest attention to the moving vehicles. It was a good morning to play “idiot hockey” and test the reflexes of all the late night partiers stumbling into the Dunkin Donuts inside the Walmart. They were pretty nimble and were still moving quickly enough to avoid a vinyl bumper up their ass. I guess I’m showing my lack of patience but I really don’t care. The only thing worse than a discourteous driver is a discourteous pedestrian and I’m surprised and shocked that more of them aren’t seriously injured on a regular basis. Oh well enough of my complaining it’s time to get into the store, do my shopping, and get the hell out.
The store was fairly crowded with the normal oddballs and yahoo’s roaming around and giving us other humans something to talk about. I needed a few dietary supplements so I wandered over towards the pharmacy. As I’m walking down the aisle near the condoms I overhear two women in a rather heated discussion about which ones were the best? Should we get ribbed or lubricated? You can’t buy that size, he’s not that big. This went on for a few minutes and I found a label to read on a nearby product because I didn’t want to miss anything. I had to chuckle a few times and try not to be too obvious but my presence didn’t seem to faze them at all. They were reading the box descriptions out loud to each other, comparing notes, and laughing hysterically. Gone are the days when we men were forced to sneak into drugstores and buy condoms on the QT. I suppose it’s only fair these days that I’m occasionally required to buy feminine hygiene products for my better-half.
I thought about those ladies and their conversation all the way home. I’ve never been a big fan of condoms and when possible I wouldn’t use them. Fortunately for me when I was acting wild and crazy STD’s weren’t as a big an issue as they are today. All I had to do then was determine if the woman I was pursuing was on the pill or not. If not, I proceeded on to the next possible partner. The way things are these days I wouldn’t attempt sex with a any partner unless I wore a body condom. Bearing all that in mind when I got home I decided to do a little research on condoms. I have a fairly extensive library of books containing tons and tons of totally useless information and trivia. It took me about 10 min. to find what I was looking for and I’m making it available to you free of charge. You just can’t have enough information about condoms.
Condoms have been with us much longer than you might have imagined. Condoms are supposedly named after the apocryphal,”Dr. Condom”, or Conton, who is supposed to have made them for Charles II, out of lamb’s intestines, which were dried and then well oiled. The mail sheath, however, had been around long before the time of Charles II. Before the time of Christ, the Chinese made them with oiled silk paper (the first lubricated condoms). It is rumored that Roman soldiers would make condoms from the muscle tissue of their defeated foes. By mid-evil times, the spread of syphilis increased the use of condoms greatly. In the 1800s condoms were made from animal intestines that were soaked in an alkaline solution, scraped, disinfected with the vapor of burning brimstone, washed, insulated, dried, cut to approximately 7 inches, and fitted with a ribbon on the open end. The Catholic Church wasn’t too crazy about this prophylactic profusion and in 1826 Pope Leo the XIII condemned their use. Despite the objections of his Holiness, condoms were here to stay!
Making this detailed history of condoms available should be considered my November public service announcement.
You’re very welcome.
Well the first winter storm has come and gone with no appreciable damage to our home or property. It’s been sleeting and raining off and on for most of the night but the plus side to that is the snow will be gone in a short time. It’s a reasonably good start to the 2012/2013 winter when we’ve had 4 inches of snow which required no shoveling.
I spent most of my evening yesterday lounging with my better-half watching a little TV. I’m not sure who’s responsible for giving television the nickname “boob tube” but they certainly hit that nail right on the head. I was reading and TV watching and finally finished the first Harry Potter book. A short time after my better-half went off to bed I turned off the “tube” and opened up book number two. It was an enjoyable read but it didn’t last very long. I become so relaxed when I read that if I’m not careful I can easily doze off. My solution is to sit in an uncomfortable chair in an uncomfortable position and just read. I stay awake longer and in the long run read much more.
Today’s a new day and I’ve got a lot of errands to run and a list of tasks that need to be taken care of. I was happy to finally receive yesterday afternoon a really nice set of wood carving tools that I ordered from Amazon a week or so ago. I like carving but without the proper tools it’s just a waste of time and energy. I spent an hour or two on an old piece of wood learning what each tool will do and what they won’t do. It may take me a little time to get the feel for these tools but I think any carvings that I do in the future will be much cleaner and crisper than in the past. I may actually try to do something I’ve been wanting to do for quite some time and that is to attempt wood block printing. It’s been a number of years since the last time but it’s a little like sex and bicycle riding, you never forget the basics. That will be another one of my winter projects for this year and should keep me busy in January and February.
Well, I’m finally dressed with my camera in hand and I’m out the door in five minutes. I need to make a quick stop at a local business that supplies me with winemaking equipment. We have three batches of wine underway and it won’t be long before the bottling will begin. I’m in need of corks and a few other odds and ends. I’ve been experimenting this year with my wines and I’ll find out soon enough if it worked. I’m a huge fan of Gin but drinking too much of it is not a good idea. I decided to gather the ingredients used to make Gin and attempt to create a Gin Wine. I had juniper berries shipped in from California and in combination with other herbs and spices made a three gallon batch. Making wine is always an adventure because you never really have any idea how it will turn out even if your following a good recipe. This experiment has Gin’s aroma but it’s the taste that has me concerned. Our other batches of Blueberry and Triple Berry (Blueberry, Blackberry, and Strawberry) are in their final stages and I’ve given them my first taste test. So far so good.
I’m out the door, let the day begin.
It looks like this is going to be another day of surprises for me. I woke up bright and early this morning and stumbled from the bedroom barely conscious. The house was chilly, the cat was hungry, and my kidneys were screaming. Being the organized guy that I am I immediately prioritized. I turned up the thermostat, kicked the cat out of the way, and headed for my favorite room of the house. It was still dark as hell but as I walked past our large picture window I couldn’t have been more surprised. Four inches of freaking snow piled up on the deck and everywhere else. It’s what I get for not paying attention to the weather forecasts over the last few days. These inconvenient and inevitable weather changes are a pain in the ass but we must roll with the punches. My immediate response to the snow was to get a cup of coffee and make a beeline for my nice warm and toasty bed. I did feed the cat on the way only because I knew he’d nag me to death to get fed if I didn’t.
I slide back under the covers, turned on the TV and guess what, no satellite signal. I can’t ever seem to get a damn break. We hadn’t lost power, thank God, but looking out the window I could see a shimmer of sleet and immediately knew why the signal had been lost. Effing ice build up on the dish requiring my personal touch. I sat for a moment hoping against hope the damn thing will recover on it’s own. Fat chance. I was being forced to leave my warm snuggly bed to venture out into the cold cruel storm. I threw on a robe, grabbed a broom, and made my way to the door. Shit!
You must realize I’m an accident waiting to happen when there’s snow or ice anywhere nearby. I’ve fallen so many times in my life it’s ridiculous. In the last twenty years I’ve fractured my knee, thrown out my back, and fell to the driveway directly on top of my hand breaking my little finger. With a record like that it’s no wonder I’m extra careful at all times. I got to the door with my broom and unfortunately for me the only pair of available shoes were a pair of Crocs made for summer beach wear. Being a good soldier I put my bare feet into those stupid Crocs, opened the door and stepped out into the snow. Believe me when I tell you it was freaking cold. I only took a few steps before balance became an immediate issue but thank God for the broom. That stupid broom turned from a cleaning device to a walking stick and saved my ass from a tumble. I knocked the snow and ice from the satellite dish and safely returned to the house. I was really proud of myself for avoiding an injury but I’ve got to remember not to get too cocky. This was just the first in any number of snow storms and we have four more months of winter before I’ll feel safe again.
I love Winter and the change of seasons but these are perilous times for me and all of the other really clumsy people out there.
I guess I must be suffering from post election withdrawal. It’s such a relief to have the election and all of the associated nonsense over with. So I’ll start this day enjoying my breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast, and coffee. I guess as long as the simple things I enjoy stay the same it helps me deal with the bigger things that suck. I stayed up late last night reading more of Harry Potter and occasionally surfing to Fox News to check on the election returns. Needless to say I slept in a little later than usual this morning because I knew what I was going to wake up to.
This little breakfast nook of ours is on the second floor overlooking the road that passes by the house. We seem to be on the route for a continuing stream of bicyclists, runners, and soccer moms with their kids and dogs. It’s an easy way for me to people watching from a safe distance without alarming anyone. People these days are very nervous, and rightly so.
I’ve noticed one thing in recent months about the runners that jog by here. They all look like they want to die with their red flushed faces and wobbly knees. I thought running was supposed to be a good thing. All I’ve ever heard from the obsessed runners that I know is how this huge rush of endorphins surges through their skinny yet healthy bodies. I hate to be the one to tell them that I can also get a huge rush of endorphins by smacking myself on the hand with a hammer. Truth be told I’d rather have the smack with that hammer than to be running all over God’s creation. Let me tell you a story I was told from my late father a few years ago. Listen to the story and then get back to me about how healthy jogging can be. Here we go.
My father worked a blue-collar job all of his life and for most of those years his job was extremely physical so he never was into lifting weights, hitting the gym, or running. His boss’s name was Mr. White and he worked primarily in an office position that required almost no physical activity. Mr. White lived a few miles from our home and every morning as my dad was driving to work he’d see Mr. White jogging along in his cute little running outfit. He’d give my Dad a nod or a wave and continue on down the road. Now you must understand this, Mr. White was not overweight or in need of bodybuilding and appeared to be a healthy individual who was using running for stress relief. One morning as my father’s work day began he was called to the office and told that Mr. White had passed away. He asked under what circumstances and was told that Mr. White had been found lying along a road approximately a half mile from his home, dressed in his jogging outfit, and dead from a heart attack. What’s the moral of the story you ask. That’s an easy one for me, don’t freaking jog.
I’m not criticizing those people who love running but I just thought it was ironic as hell that a guy that appeared to be as healthy as Mr. White dropped dead while jogging. You can be sure of one thing, you’ll never see me running along a road anywhere unless there’s a guy close behind me with a gun. Just saying.
I’m rambling on and on because I truthfully don’t want to get off my ass and do anything today. Maybe another coffee and some loud kick-ass music might do the trick. We’ll see.
A few cups of coffee, an hour on the computer, and then back to the serious work of remodeling our spare room. I’m in the process of combining our master bedroom with an adjacent unused room and I’ve pretty much gutted the room to include removal of all the drywall from the walls and ceiling. I’ve pulled up and removed the carpeting and pads and removed the old electrical outlets and switches. Thank god it’s not a huge room but its still a lot of work and preparation.
Today I’m beginning to rewire some of the outlets and taking measurements for the laminate flooring. Small but important steps in the process. Next week Ill be reframing the closet and deciding how much of the wall to remove to make the new opening into our bedroom. Good old Lowe’s delivered the new drywall and studs last week and I’m almost ready to get serious about this project. I’m tempted to just call a contractor but my better half insists I do some of the heavy lifting. She’s just so frugal at times it makes me crazy.
I stayed up a little too late last night reading book number one of the Harry Potter series. I was surprised how closely the movie followed the story line but there were a few things in it that were edited out of the movie. Hagrid in the movie came across much differently than in the book. He was a big loveable hulk in the movie but was portrayed as something of a loser in the book. It’s those subtle little things that allows books to remain true to the authors original story. Hollywood has a way of editing stories in a lot of little ways that can sometimes change the entire story. I’ll stick to my books thank you very much. Unfortunately I got so caught up in the story I lost track of time and the next thing I know it was one o’clock. Obviously I need all the beauty sleep I can get so off to bed I went.
As I walked into the bathroom this morning the mirror was very unkind to me. I looked like “forty mile of bad road” and felt just about that good. I’m still tired as hell but I’m up and finally motivating.
My better-half is working today and has meetings scheduled well into the late afternoon. I can finish my tasks and still have time for a hour or two with my camera along the coast somewhere north of here.
Back to work. No more procrastinating
It’s about 10:30 am and I’m still on my third cup of coffee. I just sent my better-half on her way for a day of shopping with her daughter and new grandson. I don’t have to tell you how important “alone time” can be for a person’s overall mental health and I cherish every minute of mine. It’s just me and my shadow, my cat Stormy, sitting in my man-cave and trying to decide what we’ll be doing today.
It’s another dreary day but fortunately all of my outside work is almost completed and I’m ready to settle in for the winter. I think I’m in a minority but I’m hoping for lots of snow this year. Last year was a mild winter here in Maine and I missed not having that beautiful white snow-cover for the entire winter. On top of it all without proper snow-cover many of the plants in my herb garden won’t survive. Anyone who knows anything about herbs knows that many are almost impossible to kill and they’ll run rampant through your garden. But with a mild winter and not much snow-cover they won’t likely survive the winter here in Maine. Last Spring I was forced to replace many herbs transplanted from my late mother’s herb garden which had a great deal of sentimental value to me. Such is life, replant and move on.
Today I’ll be be returning to work on a small sculpture that I’ve been working on for almost a year. I seem to do a few things on it then stare at it for about a month and then do a few more things. I’m trying to picture in my mind the finished piece and where I want the project to go. It’s finally coming together for me as I hoped it would and as it usually does.
Not to give too much away but it’s a somewhat bizarre and outrageous sculpture of my better half’s bust. That’s a “head and shoulders” bust not a “boobs” bust. The hair will consist of twelve tubes of white caulking compound applied in a manner I’ve never tried before. Today I’ll have a few hours where I can properly focus on my project and maybe make a little headway. I really wanted to have it completed by Christmas but I just can’t rush it. It moves at it’s own speed and when it’s done, I’ll know.
More coffee to get started and if I’m a good boy, a brandy later in the day. Hoorah!
Well, we survived the “Storm of the Century” and I thought I was home free and clear. I should have known better than to think I could sneak by for a week or so without something or someone irritating the hell out of me. With a great many people without power I thought I’d be safe from those annoying individuals calling or sending me emails about the upcoming election. Wrong again. The phone calls began as soon as the rain stopped and the power was back on; “Vote yes for gay marriage”, “Vote no for gay marriage”. The TV bombardment hasn’t stopped either and will continue until the election has come and gone.
Yesterday a stranger shows up at my door telling me that gay marriage is a threat to the foundation of this country and I must vote against it. I couldn’t believe my ears. What a lame ass argument to try and use on me, an actual informed and thinking American voter. This is just another attempt at propagandizing from the religious right and all of their special interest groups. Needless to say I sent her packing with a tidbit of my advice to help her along, “Get a freaking life”.
I’ve written on this subject before but I guess it bears repeating. To qualify myself, I’m independent, extremely conservative, and a well informed citizen. I can’t even begin to understand this whole gay marriage argument and the idiocy I’ve been hearing about it. Freedom apparently no longer applies to you in this county unless you belong to the right religious or political group. Certain groups are spending millions of dollars to argue a point properly made by the founding fathers and later confirmed by President Lincoln. Freedom you morons! Any color, any religion, any sexual preference, anything at all. We’re all FREE citizens with the same goddamn rights.
How did it happen that so many people have forgotten why and how this country came into being. Live and let live. Freedom for all, not just for those who agree with you. Shame on all of you who are fighting against others who are simply requesting that their freedom be honored.
Everyone in this country is in a huge “shit and sweat” over the Muslim’s and their outrageous religious beliefs. I see almost no difference in this gay marriage argument. It’s a group of organized religions attempting to force their beliefs on a portion of the population who isn’t interested. America was founded initially on a desire for religious freedom and also I might add to protect people from religious fanatics with an agenda. I hate to admit it but the biggest problem in this country isn’t the economy, it’s too many people trying to tell to many other’s how to live their lives. The government is relentless enough without help from a bunch of frightened religious types who are defending marriage with apparently no clue as to what a real marriage is.
There haven’t been many times I’ve found myself embarrassed to be an American, but this is one of them. Shame on all of you.
I refuse to be drawn into the hysteria that is Sandy. I’d prefer to spend this day in the kitchen where I’m creating another batch of my signature chili on this gray and rainy day. I’ve made about a gallon of it so I’ll be sharing with nearby family members who are currently hunkered down awaiting the storm. The house is quiet because my better-half is off to see the new grand child for a few hours and I plan to enjoy it.
I’m considering a ride down along the coast a little later this afternoon to possibly get a few interesting photo’s of the storm’s approach to Maine.
I love Mother Nature in all her scary ferociousness.
Another restless night for me last night due to a constant stream of really odd dreams. I’ve always liked dreaming and I find myself looking forward to them. Of course there’s the occasional, sit up and scream, nightmare but they can be interesting too.
Dreaming is the great way our mind can play with us a little. You fall asleep and can be instantly visited by old friends and family who have passed making it seem like they’ve never left.
Last night I was traveling by car with an unidentified female when we pulled into a wooded area and stopped. I looked down the nearby trail and saw a pack of approximately fifty dogs just sitting there staring at us. The leader was a huge brown Great Dane. I told my friend to stay in the car because if we wandered off they’d be on us immediately. I slowly opened my door and they all ran away in the other direction. Go figure.
I’m not much for dream analysis since I believe it’s just our mind drawing on random memories to create a story. I do find it a little strange that there seems to be an overlying theme in many of my dreams. I’m always searching for something. My car, a briefcase, and very often my clothing. I occasionally have those dreams when I’m naked in public somewhere but they don’t bother me much because I truly love being naked. Some times I find myself in flying dreams and they’re a great dream to have. My ultimate favorite without question is the dream where I’m flying and naked.
Well I’ve had my coffee and I’m ready for the day.
Today I’ve scheduled a few hours to complete the close out of the Anti-Stupidly Central blog. I was a slow starter this morning but I finally downed a couple cups of coffee in an attempt to get my motor running. Last night was another cold night with winter just around the snowy, sleety, freezing corner. Thank God for that lifesaving electric blanket because without it I might have frozen off an important body part or two.
The closeout article for Anti-Stupidity is now completed and I’ll post it on the 31st so I can get to work on this journal. I keep second guessing myself about the reasoning behind the closing but I’ve just got to let it go and move on. It really was a great two year run and I learned a lot more than I ever anticipated about blogging and writing. Life truly does goes on.
I’m forcing myself to get the hell out the house later today and make a short trip the my favorite spot, the Scarborough River Wildlife Sanctuary. It’s the perfect place to take a few photo’s, breathe a little clean air, and commune with good old Mother Nature. I haven’t been there nearly enough this summer but I’ll make up for it this winter. Besides, I can’t wait to break in those new snowshoes I bought last Spring. As much as I like Summer and Fall scenic shots, I think the winter snow scenes are even more beautiful. I plan on going overboard this winter on them if we get the amount of snow needed to make them perfect. Everyone including Poor Richard is calling for large snow falls this year and I hope their right.
It’s time for a hot bowl of soup, a little reading, and then back to the computer. I‘m slowly getting the hang of blogging with my new IPad but I’m a long way from being as proficient as I need to be .
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