Archive for the ‘cats’ Tag
Now that Christmas has come and gone once again, things can get back to abnormal. The holidays are always stressful no matter how well you prepare and I discovered early in life that bringing a group of family members together is fraught with danger and the likelihood of old personality disputes’ becoming a real possibility. Fortunately this year we successfully avoided that sort of nonsense. My better-half and I are now kicking back and trying to relax a little as I’m sure you are as well. Todays post is just what this blog is all about – EVERYUSELESSTHING. This is an easy way for me to relax, collect my thoughts, and continue on to the next holiday, on that never-ending list of #@%!*% holidays. Welcome to my post-Christmas MISH/MOSH.
- Former Beatles drummer, Ringo Starr, was the original narrator of the children’s television show, Thomas the Tank Engine.
- During mating season, lions can have sex dozens of time every day. (I’m so jealous.)
- Beavers’ butts taste like vanilla, “Kinda sorta”, since their anal glands secret a substance used in the manufacture of artificial vanilla flavorings. (Yum!)
- An ostrich can easily kick a human to death.
- Catherine the Great had an entire room in her palace that contained erotic furniture emblazoned with penises and vaginas. (My queen!)
- The lighter was invented before the match. It was created in 1823 and called Dobereiner’s Lamp. Friction matches were not invented until 1826.
- When you perform an action, neurons fire in your brain. Those same neurons fire when you’re watching someone perform the same action.
- The Heimlich Maneuver wasn’t invented until the 1970’s. Henry Heimlich published the first paper on it in 1974.
- Phobophobia is suffered by a person who is afraid of fear.
- Pope Gregory IX once declared black cats to be the incarnation of Satan resulting in the killing of an unknown number of cats. Unfortunately they weren’t available to then help control the rat population which may have contributed to the spread of the Black Death. (Religious zealot: My opinion)
❤️❤️❤️
NEW YEARS RESOLUTION REVIEW COMING SOON
Over the years many readers who I assumed were somewhat religious, have asked me what my religious beliefs are. Many think I’m anti-religion but in truth I’m not. I’m anti-organized religions. Religions have their usefulness and have accomplished many wonderful things but at the same time organized religions have also been responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and that’s where I have a serious problem. Organized religions are much like the old labor unions. They served their purpose for decades but then became corrupted (in my opinion) by politics and MONEY. They’ve morphed into political money making machines by actually demanding a percentage of our hard earned money for doing little or nothing for us. Everyone agrees there’s only one God but unless your worshipping that god in their specific way your considered by some to be anti-religion or an infidel.
We are approaching what was once a highly religious holiday season that has been rearranged to include “Black November sales, Black Friday sales, a steady stream of Amazon ads, plus hours and hours of mind-numbing commercials. The only people worshipping anything these days are the millions of scammers, porch pirates, and the occasional actual religious person.
Let’s review for a moment the history of humanity as applied to their weird and confusing religious beliefs. In my opinion our new god is the almighty dollar. Which one of these religions would be a good fit for you and your family?
- In Thailand there is a religious group who worship the almighty penis. Their shrine is crammed full of phalluses of all types and sizes. They are gaily painted and hung with garlands of flowers. Many women claim miracle pregnancies after making a pilgrimage to the shrine.
- Apparently in India they believe you should go big or go home. In the state of Karnataka there is a 100 foot high penis and a incredible collection of over eight million penises.
- The Japanese have a shrine at Kanamara Matsuri, where the yearly penis festival is held on the first Sunday of April. People parade through the streets with pink penises in hand and they even supply penis shaped lollipops for their children.
- In India has a “Cargo Cult”. The locals worship Prince Philip as a divine being. It started in the 1950’s and continues to this day. I guess we should add him to the endless list of saviors along with Jesus Christ and Mohammad.
- Doll worshipers exist in Mexico where there is a shrine containing a fifty year collection of dolls.
- There is a Daoist Shrine to “Lady Datuk” in Singapore who was a young girl found dead in the hills during WWI.
- In 2005 a man named Bobby Henderson started an alternative school in the United States called the church of the “Flying Spaghetti Monsterism”. The religion went viral.
- There is cat worhipping in a number of countries.
The list of possible religions just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Don’t forget L. Ron Hubbard who started the infamous Scientology religion. My final conclusion is that the Humans Race is insane. We are stupid, vain, and insecure but still consider ourselves to be highly religious. Make your choice of a belief system very carefully. When you get to the Pearly Gates to be judged you might be surprised to discover that St. Peter is just a giant pink penis with a pet cat.
☯️🕎✡️✝️☪️
AMEN (and Merry X-mas) TO ALL OF YOU INSANE AND INSECURE HUMANS
Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone it’s time to get back to the basics of what this blog is all about, “Every Useless Thing”. To quote an authority, Bertrand Russell, “There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.” Since I totally agree with that statement, I really don’t need to say much more except enjoy this collection of useless knowledge.
- There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
- The herb nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
- Volleyball is the most popular sport at nudist camps.
- The buttons on a man’s jacket cuff were originally intended to stop manservants from wiping their noses on the sleeves of their uniforms.
- Watching TV uses up to 50% more calories than sleeping.
- On average, a drop of Heinz tomato ketchup leaves the bottle at a speed of 25 miles per year.
- At any given moment, there are some 1800 thunderstorms somewhere on planet Earth.
- No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven times.
- 20% of the people in the whole history of mankind who have lived beyond the age of 65 are alive today .
- Six out of every seven gynecologists are men.
- Strawberries have more vitamin C than oranges.
- If a pack-a-day smoker inhaled a weeks’ worth of nicotine, they would die instantly.
- Cats can’t taste sweet food.
25 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
I consider myself to be an animal lover. I have a long history of dealing with dogs and an even longer history with cats. Fortunately, or unfortunately people in this country categorize people as being either a cat person or a dog person for some reason. Over the years I’ve had every kind of pet you can think of from snakes, mice, birds, squirrels, hamsters, dogs and ferrets. My favorite pets after my cats were the ferrets and my best years as a pet owner were when I had one cat and two ferrets. There was never a dull moment in the house, and they kept me smiling with their endless play times. Today’s posts are some interesting facts about our pets.
- Your average cat uses up to 100 different vocalizations. Dogs, on the other hand, use a mere 10.
- Multiple studies have shown dogs are more emotionally intelligent than cats; they are more trainable, have larger brains, and are far more social. Sorry, cat people, if it makes you feel any better, other studies have shown that cat owners are smarter than people who own dogs.
- Cats can be trained in a manner of minutes simply by placing a litter box in the house. No actual training is required – it’s instinct that drives cats to use litter boxes.
- The average canine has 42 teeth, compared to only 30 teeth for domestic cats.
- Dog memory is more “associative” instead of true memory. And a dog’s short-term memory lasts for about 20 seconds.
- A canine nose has more than four times as many scent receptors as the average cat and more than 14 times as many as the human nose.
- In both cats and dogs sweat glands are present only in the paws. To cool down, dogs pant. The thin ears of cats expose blood to ambient room temperatures and help them to lose excess body heat.
- So-called “seizure-alert dogs are able to detect changes in their owner’s verbal cues and body language and warn them of things ahead of time. This skill is not taught – it’s innate in a very small number of canines.
- Most people are aware that chocolate is toxic to dogs. Fortunately for cats they cannot taste sweetness, so the odds are lower of cats gorging on your half-eaten chocolate bar.
- Studies show that dogs respond with less aggression, and cats display positive reciprocation when interacting with women rather than men.
BOW WOW & MEOW
I stumbled upon a book of limericks some months ago and finally took the time to read through it. Bear in mind that the writers of these limericks are now 57 years older, and many have sadly passed away. Let me bring a few of their limericks back to life if only for a moment for you to enjoy them. These are selections related to our loving pets and other lovable animals.
There was a young man who was bitten
By 42 cats and a kitten,
Cried he, “It is clear
My end is quite near,
No matter, I’ll die like a Briton.
A cat in despondency sighed,
And resolved to commit suicide.
He got under the wheels
Of nine automobiles,
And after the last one he died.
There was a young man from the city,
Who met what he thought was a kitty.
He gave it a pat,
And said, “Nice little cat!”
And they buried his clothes out of pity.
One day I went out to the zoo,
For I wanted to see the old gnu,
But the old gnu was dead,
They had a new gnu instead,
And that gnu, well, he knew he was new.
*****
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND
I’ve been an animal lover my entire life centering mainly on cats. I’ve had just about every animal you can think of from snakes to ferrets, guinea pigs, and many others. Since today is a slow Sunday, it’s rainy and gray, and I have two grandchildren coming to visit in a few hours, I won’t be able to get much accomplished once they arrive. Today’s post will be short and sweet. If you like or love animals here are a collection of odd facts which you might find interesting.
- Besides humans, the only animal it can stand on its head is the elephant.
- A newborn panda is smaller than a mouse.
- The heads of a freak two-headed snake will fight over food despite sharing the same stomach.
- The armadillo is the only animal apart from man that can catch leprosy.
- A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel.
- A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
- A donkey will sink in quicksand, but a mule won’t.
- Polar bears can smell a human being from 20 miles away.
- The world’s biggest frog is bigger than the world’s smallest antelope.
- Deer sleep only 5 minutes a day.
- Kangaroos can’t walk backward.
- It takes a male horse only 14 seconds to copulate.
- The normal temperature of a cat is 101.5°.
- Camel milk does not curdle.
- There are more goats than people in Somalia.
CAT’S RULE!!
And . . . HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVEY!
Since I had a lot to say about dogs yesterday, it seems only right that I report a few things, both good and bad about cats. Here are a few . . .
- 7000 years ago, some of the first settlers in ancient Egypt were farmers, growing grain along the banks of the Nile. Their fields were overrun with about a zillion mice and ravenous rats. The farmers helped the cats develop a taste for those little rodents and one good cat could clear a field of vermin in an evening. They became such a part of the Egyptian lifestyle that in later years they were actually worshiped.
- Bastet was an Egyptian goddess with the body of a woman and the head of a cat. She became one of the most revered of the Egyptian gods, in charge of fertility, beauty, and motherhood.
- Julius Caesar, King Henry II, King Charles XI, and Napoleon all had terrible aelurophobia, a fear of cats.
- The prophet Mohammed was a big cat lover. His favorite cat, Muezza, once saved his life by warning him about a dangerous snake.
- Florence Nightingale, the world’s most famous nurse, was cat crazy. She owned more than 60 cats over the course of her lifetime.
- One more Egyptian note. In the 1800’s archaeologists digging in the shadows of the Egyptian pyramids unearthed a huge cemetery filled with more than 300,000 cat mummies.
I hope all of you rabid dog fans out there can now relax a little. We cat persons understand, appreciate, and sympathize about your passion for dogs. Some of your emails were a little disturbing but I really do understand your pain. LOL
CATS STILL RULE!
My father was a dog lover. My mother was a dog lover. I am not. My father trained hunting dogs and in his kennel were normally 15-20 adult dogs and upwards of 10-20 puppies. One of my chores and punishments was the shoveling and removal of their droppings on a daily basis. Many wheelbarrow loads later I decided dogs would never be my favorite pet. This may upset some of you “dog” people out there but so be it. I tried having dogs as pets in my twenties but I was a dismal failure. I eventually switched over to cats and became an official “cat” person. Here are a few facts from the history of dogs.
- In the 11th century the king of Norway, upset with his subjects, named his dog Saur to the throne. He reigned for three years as king. Note: “Dog Days” came to mean something totally different than it does today.
- In the 1600’s in Japan the shogun, Tokugawa Tsunayoshi, passed laws to protect dogs. Anyone who injured, harmed, killed, or annoyed a dog could be exiled, jailed, or executed. In one month alone in 1687 300 people were executed for being unkind to dogs. In his 30-year reign more than 60,000 people were put to death because of dogs. Note: Give me a cat anytime.
- In China dogs lived a double life. Some were treated as royalty by the elite of the county and were a preferred gift for the emperor and his minions. The other side of the Chinese coin was that the common folk more often than not ate dogs as a main course for their evening meal. Note: I know that eating dog is disgusting but unfortunately it still goes on to this day. Once I mistakenly ate a bowl of dog soup in Korea in 1968. I don’t recommend it.)
- Laika, the first dog to fly into outer space aboard Sputnick II, became one of the most famous dogs in the world. Unfortunately, the pooch passed away a few hours into the flight from overheating. Both a cosmonaut and a hotdog. Note: That was a joke, so don’t send any nasty comments.
CATS RULE!
Everyone seems to love animals. Here are a few facts that are interesting, and some that are a bit disgusting. Read on . . .
- Squid have the largest eyes of any animal on earth.
- Giraffes sleep the least of any mammal.
- Many lipsticks contain fish scales.
- Sharks, including hammerheads, as well as mackerels have the ability to skip sleep altogether.
- Thirty-two pigeons, twenty-eight dogs, three horses, and one cat have received medals for bravery in wartime.
- 99.9% of all species that have existed on the earth are now extinct.
- An ostrich’s eye is larger than its brain.
- Hangfish can fill a gallon sized bucket with slime in less than 1 minute.
- Catfish have a better sense of taste than humans.
- Cat urine glows under a black light.
- Dogs generally prefer to eat the protein-rich poop of cats.
- Cow’s milk gives most cats a case of diarrhea.
- Fish, jellyfish, frogs, and toads have all been known to fall out of the sky.
Who knew that animals could be so bizarre? Maybe next time I’ll come up with a list of oddities from us humans. It’s likely they’ll be even stranger than the ones about animals.
NOAH’S ARK MUST HAVE BEEN A HOOT
I’ve been an animal lover all of my life. I’ve had all sorts of pets from ferrets, snakes, dogs, cats, and the list goes on and on. Today I thought I’d share with you some odd and trivia type facts on the animal kingdom. With this started . . .
- A group of apes is called a shrewdness.
- A group of alligators is called a congregation.
- The blue whale has the largest penis of any organism on earth (8-10 ft).
- The female barkfly has a penis, which is used to extract sperm from the male barkfly’s vagina.
- A group of cockroaches is called an intrusion.
- Boars can ejaculate continuously for up to 7 min.
- A severed cockroach head can survive for hours.
- The decapitated cockroach can live for weeks before it starves to death.
- Fleas can survive for up to 100 days without a meal (without sucking your blood).
- Cats are more popular pets and dogs.
- The canine nose has more than four times as many scent receptors as the average cat nose (and more than 14 times as many as the human nose).
- A dog on average has 42 teeth, compared to 30 teeth for domestic cats.
- Each year nearly 4,000,000 cats are eaten in China as a delicacy.
- Electric eels generate enough electric charge to kill a horse or a human.
I think that’s enough for today and I’m sure you learned more than you ever cared about knowing of the weird and wonderful world of animals.
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