Archive for the ‘fun’ Tag

☘Limerick Alert☘   2 comments

For those of you limerick lovers, I thought I’d give you a small selection from a category called “Oral Irregularities”. No further explanation is necessary, just enjoy them.

In his youth our old friend Boccaccio

Was having a girl in a patio.

When it came to the twat

She wasn’t so hot,

But, boy, was she good at fellatio!

😝😝😝

A fellatrix’s healthful condition

Proved the value of spunk as nutrition.

Her remarkable diet

(I suggest that you try it)

Was only her clients’ emission

😜😜😜

There was an old man of Decatur,

Took out his red-hot pertater.

He tried at her dent

But when his thing bent,

He got down on his knees and he et’r.

😱😱😱

The priests at the Temple of Isis

Used to offer up amber and spices

Then back of the shrine

They would play 69

And other unmentionable vices.

🤪🤪🤪

There lived in French Louisiana

A quaint and deceived duenna

Who naïvely thought

That a penis was wrought

To be et like a thick ripe banana.

MORE TO COME SOON

03/10/2022 “Good Old Albert”   Leave a comment

“The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my

talent for absorbing positive knowledge.”

Albert Einstein 1985

03/10/2022 😂Stupid Headline😂   Leave a comment

PORN STAR SUES OVER REAR END COLLISION

03/08/2022 “Oddities”   Leave a comment

I am a constant collector of weird and unusual facts and information. During my travels if I see something that even looks a little bit interesting, I collected it. I have many books in my archives that I’ve not read as thoroughly as I’d like and information your see here is from one of those books. Hope you enjoy it.

  • As the great Chicago fire of 1871 killed 300 people, an even deadlier fire was under way 200 miles to the north. It devastated Peshtigo, Wisconsin, killing 600 people; but somehow it never got the same attention.
  • All of Reykjavík, the capital of Iceland, is heated by underground hot springs. Reykjavík is probably the cleanest capital city in the world.
  • The first hydrogen bomb, tested in 1952, was as powerful as the total of all the bombs dropped on Germany and Japan during World War II, including both of the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
  • The African climate is not always warm. The Nile River has frozen over at least twice, in 829 A.D. and in 1010.
  • For amusement, it was agreed by four friends holidaying in Switzerland that each would write a ghost story. Percy B Shelley, George Byron, and Dr. John William Polidori never finished theirs. Only 18-year-old Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin did. She published it anonymously two years later, in 1818, with a preface by her husband, Shelley. Mary Shelley’s novel about Dr. Victor Frankenstein and his monstrous creation became a classic.
  • Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norkay deservedly received much praise when they were the first to climb to the summit of Mount Everest. Less known is the fact that they had a roster of 12 climbers, 40 Sherpa guides, and 700 porters.
  • Three pairs of common English rabbits were let loose in Australia, in the middle of the 19th century. Within a decade, the six rabbits had multiplied into millions, menacing the country’s agriculture.
  • Japan did not send an ambassador to another nation until it sent Niimi Masaoki to the US for a few weeks in 1860.
  • The daughters of a mother who is colorblind and a father who has normal vision will have normal vision. The sons will be colorblind, however.
  • Up to 150 tons of meteorite fragments slammed into the Earth each year. As far as is known, only seven people have been struck by such rocks from space.
  • By “deciphering” the Book of Revelations, a minister in Lochau in East Germany proclaimed that the world would end on October 18, 1533. When it didn’t happen, the minister, Michael Stiftel, was given a thorough thrashing by the townspeople.

I certainly hope you enjoy reading these obscure facts. It’s almost as much fun as actually collecting them. More are certain to follow because I barely scratched the surface of books I haven’t thoroughly read yet.

WHEN IN DOUBT, READ A BOOK

03/06/2022 ☘Limerick Alert☘   Leave a comment

I thought a few limericks were in order today. The first one was created just for my better-half’s sister. The remainder are just for fun.

There once was a lady from BelAir

Who had long and flowing hair.

When she jumped into bed,

she often hit her head,

but never disturbed a single hair.

❤❤❤

A health-care provider from Bloom

Wanted someone to paint her living room.

The price for a painter was high

But she knew how to be sexy and shy,

and hopefully the painting will be done soon.

❤❤❤

There are my two “G” rated limericks. I normally don’t post them, but these are being done for special people. Now I can get on with a few more interesting ones that have a little more “Oomph”.

At Fred’s flat a bouncy young whore

Started bouncing about on the floor.

“That does it!” said Fred.

“Now you’ve busted the bed!”

And dismounted and showed her the door.

💥💥💥

Daphne’s looks are completely imperial

And her style of lovemaking’s ethereal.

She’s erotically active

And intensely attractive.

What a shame her disease is venereal.

💥💥💥

ENJOY YOUR DAY OF REST

03/05/2022 👁‍🗨Stupid Headline👁‍🗨   2 comments

CONDOM TRUCK TIPS, SPILLS LOAD

03/03/2022 🚚Stupid Bumper Sticker Alert🚛   Leave a comment

After receiving a few requests, it’s time for more retro bumper stickers. I’ve actually found a number of them that I’m in the process of having reprinted for my own use. I could be convinced to stick them on a few cars whose drivers have aggravated me. I’m also working on one for people who park inappropriately, to stick on their windshields. I’m a baaaad man.

IF YOU’RE RICH, I’M SINGLE

I CAME, I SAW, I SHOPPED

WELCOME TO CALIFORNIA; NOW GO HOME

TRUST ME. I’M A LAWYER

MY OTHER CAR IS A BROOM

GO AHEAD, HIT ME. I’M NOT INSURED

NO NUKES IS GOOD NUKES

JUST SAY NO TO INNUENDO

I CAN’T DRIVE 55

HELP BEAUTIFY AMERICA, GET A HAIR CUT

MAKE POLAND OUR 51ST STATE

THE WEATHER IS HERE. WISH YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL

TV EVANGELISTS DO MORE THAN LAY PEOPLE

HUGS ARE BETTER THAN DRUGS

NEVER PLAY LEAP FROG WITH A UNICORN

And Here’s My Favorite:

REALLY NICE GUYS FINISH LAST. I FINISH FIRST

03/03/2022 💤Limerick Alert💤   2 comments

I’m sending these rather bawdy limericks along after receiving a few requests for a raunchier selection. I’m nothing if not a people pleaser, so here they are. That’s right, you know who you are!!

A fair-haired young damsel named Grace

Thought it very, very foolish to place

Her hand on your cock

When it turned hard as a rock,

For fear it would explode in her face.

😎😎😎

An innocent boy from Lapland

Was told that fucking was grand.

But at his first trial

He said with a smile,

“I’ve had the same feeling by hand.”

😋😋😋

A nymphomaniacal Italian nurse

With a curse that was worse than perverse

She stuck a rotary drill

Up her twat, for a thrill . . .

And they carted her off in a hearse.

😁😁😁

There once was a young man of Savannah,

Who met his end in a curious manner.

He diddled a hole

In a telephone pole

And electrified his banana.

🤬🤬🤬

Under the spreading chestnut tree

The village smithy he sat,

Amusing himself

By abusing himself

And catching the load in his hat.

02/27/2022 😖Stupid Headline🤓   Leave a comment

ONE ARMED MAN APPLAUDS

THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

02/24/2022 More Isaac Azimov   Leave a comment

As I stated on so many occasions, I am a rabid science-fiction fan. I’ve been reading science fiction material since I was a kid when I found a copy of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea in a box of trash near a neighbor’s home. While admittedly there’s a lot of crap out there calling itself science-fiction, the classics remain the classics. Two days ago, I started reading the Foundation Series by Isaac Asimov again. As a young man I read it the first time but to understand it at that age was difficult. I’ve read the entire series three times since and every time I find more things I missed. As I began to read it again my thoughts came back to Isaac Asimov himself and the fact that he was not only an incredible writer but also wrote many outrageous and bawdy limericks. I thought I pass a few of those along to you today because he really knew how to craft limericks. Here are a few . . .

A gourmet’s delight is Priscilla

For her breath’s a distinct sarsaparilla.

One breast tastes of thyme

The other of lime

And her vaginal flavor’s vanilla.

💥💥💥

There was a young lady named Lynne

Who said,” I’m prepared to begin

Any sort of activity

That suits my proclivity

Provided it counts as a sin.”

💥💥💥

As a poet, a young man named Buck

Was utterly lacking in luck.

He tried limericks (lecherous)

But found rhyming quite treacherous

And to rhyme “Buck” and “Luck” left him stuck.

💥💥💥

To her lover said pretty young Julie,

“I don’t want to alarm you unduly.

I don’t intend blame

And yet, all the same,

You’ve produced a small pregnancy, Truly!”

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE AZIMOV