With the holidays on the horizon,
I placed 20 calls to Verizon.
They stuck me on hold
Til my dinner got cold.
And I still absolutely despise them.
Archive for the ‘fun’ Tag
🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 Leave a comment
12/08/2021 Letters to Santa Leave a comment
One of my favorite things to do during the holidays is surfing the web and reading letters to Santa from the younger children. Most of these letters are from kids in the second and third grade from cities across the country. Enjoy them, they’ll bring a smile to your face like they did to mine.
- I hope I am on the good list. I hope the reindeer get enough food. Please thank the elves because they have been working hard. I hope you like my cookies. For Christmas I would like an iPad. I would like an iPhone too. Have a safe trip. From, Allison
- I want surprise presents. I want my cousin Barchetta to have a puppy and my dog to have a squeeze toy and a coat to keep my dog warm. I really want my little cousin Natalia to be nice and happy and it presents. I want a PSP game and the game for the PSP. I also would like this Christmas to be awesome for the whole town. Sincerely, Danna
- I take great care of the toys you got me. All I would like for Christmas is for it to snow and forth to be a happy Christmas. It’s okay if I get toys. I do want them, but I want a happy Christmas more. I saw a route off last year. What is your favorite kind of cookies? We’ll make sure you bring a happy Christmas. Sincerely, Camrynn
- I hope you like the cookies I made. I have been good this year. I hope the reindeer get enough food. I hope you have a safe trip. I wish you a Merry Christmas. Love, Elizabeth
- Can you make it snow at night? How are the reindeer? Hmmm . . . I would like a remote-control airplane. I would like an iPhone maybe. I would like to make people happy at Christmas. Could I have surprise gifts? Merry Christmas Santa. Sincerely Katarina
- I think I’ve been really good this year. I hope you like our chimney. It is very wide. I hope you have a Merry Christmas! I hope you like the cookies. I hope you like my letter. I love you Santa. From, Natalie
- I want you to surprise me. My mom said when she was little she got surprised by you. So I am trying it this year. I can’t wait till you come. How hard you work in your workshop? I hope you have a great Christmas. I am going to have a great Christmas. Sincerely, Abigail
In my humble opinion Christmas, the gift giving holiday, is mainly for the young children. Christmas, the birth of Christ holiday, is for everyone. I hope you and yours enjoy both sides of the holiday and prosper in the new year.
DEAR SANTA, I WANT A RED CORVETTE – LOVE, JOHN
There’s a bottle of Tequila under the tree.
16 Shopping Days
🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 Leave a comment
When Rudolph got hurt in a fight
He couldn’t lead Santa that night
Too much Christmas cheer
And eggnog, and beer,
His red nose was shiny, all right!
⚡Stupid Newspaper Headline⚡ Leave a comment
⚡Stupid Newspaper Headlines⚡ Leave a comment
House Passes Gas Tax on to Senate
12/04/2021 Christmas Party Time Leave a comment
Here’s a little holiday humor for you:
Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas party. He didn’t even remember how he’d gotten home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he’d done anything wrong.
He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sat up and saw his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looked around the room and saw that it was in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So was the rest of the house.
He took the aspirins, and cringed when he saw a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he noticed a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to get groceries to make you your favourite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!” He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son was also at the table, eating. Jack asked, “Son, what happened last night?” “Well Dad, you came home after 3 A.M from the Christmas party, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.” Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a fresh red rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me. What the hell?”
His son replied, “Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bathroom to clean you up last night, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone bitch, I’m married!'”
20 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
⚡Stupid Newspaper Headline⚡ Leave a comment
🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 Leave a comment
Old Santa got drunk on warm ale
“I’m too old for Christmas” his wail
“But what of the toys
For the good girls and boys?”
“I’ll have Amazon send them by mail!”
12/01/2021 🌲Christmas Humor🌲 Leave a comment
I found this joke on line and couldn’t resist sharing it with you:
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle”, he said. “Very well, you may pass through the pearly gates,” Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.” Saint Peter said, “You may also pass through the pearly gates.”
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”
The man replied, “These are Carol’s.”
23 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
everyuselessthing.com 