A few months ago I came upon a small innocent looking book titled 365 Women’s Reflections on Men. I’d made a few purchases of books that day and the owner of the store threw that little book into my bag as a freebie. Since I never refuse a book from anyone, I took it home and it’s been on the shelf for months. While I’m not partial to the negativity brush that feminism paints most of us men with, I think it’s only right if I pass a few tidbits your way and give some of these overt feminists the credit they rightfully deserve.
“No man can call himself liberal, or radical, or even a conservative advocate of fair play, if his work depends in any way on the unpaid or underpaid labor of women at home, or in the office.” Gloria Steinem
“Protectiveness has often muffled the sounds of doors closing against women.” Betty Friedan
“Dear, never forget one little point: It’s my business. You just work here.” Elizabeth Arden (to her husband)
“The only jobs for which no man is qualified are human incubators and wet nurses. Likewise, the only job for which no woman is or can be qualified is sperm donor.” Wilma Scott Heide
“Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.” Queen Elizabeth I
“I think women are just as moved by appearance [as men are], but they are willing to accept a situation where the man is less attractive because of the “who earns the bread” situation. Madonna
“American men say “I love you” as part of the conversation.” Liv Ullman
“If you never want to see a man again, say, “I love you, I want to marry you, and I want to have children . . . they will leave skid marks” Rita Rudner
“I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.” Marie Corelli
“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.” Zsa Zsa Gabor
Limericks are the best. I’ve been reading them for years and writing a great many of my own. My limerick archives go all the way back to 1879. I did discover that posting some of those really old ones requires a bit of a rewrite. Some of the profanities back then were just gratuitous and actually detracted from the overall entertainment value. I may have softened the language a little but they’re still a fun read. Todays selections are related specifically to younger women. Don’t complain to me about the content, the people who wrote these have been dead a very long time.
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A bather whose clothing was strewed
By winds that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along,
And unless we are wrong
You expected this line to be lewd. (1944)
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A lady athletic and handsome
Got wedged in her sleeping room transom.
When she offered much gold
For release, she was told
That the view was worth more than the ransom. (1944)
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There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you’d probably think,
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass. (1940)
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I’m tempted to post a few of my own limericks but unfortunately they’re very rude and sexual explicit. I may rewrite them someday but not today. Instead I offer up a rather lame poem of mine written about my first sexual experience, to show all of you what a freaking romantic I’m not. LOL
While I’m not a complete sports fanatic, I remain an ardent NFL Fan. I was born and raised in the Pittsburgh area and my father created a rabid Steeler fan (me) at a very young age. I’ve celebrated in the 70″s when the Steeler’s won four Super bowls and then I moved to Boston. How could I possibly deny the Patriots with Tom Brady at the helm? It’s been a real pleasure to live through the rise and fall of those dynasties. Todays post will test your memory when you attempt to identify these players by their nicknames. As always the answers will be listed below.
Who was known as TheAssassin?
Who was nicknamed Bronco?
Who was known as Crazy Legs?
Who was The Galloping Ghost?
Who besides Deion Sanders was once called Hollywood?
Who was The Toe?
Tom Brady #2 Fav
Who was Broadway Joe?
Who was nicknamed Night Train?
Who was Tombstone?
Who was called White Shoes?
Who was known as The Alabama Antelope?
Who was The Flying Dutchman?
Baker Mayfield #3 Fav
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GO STEELERS
GO PATRIOTS
GO BUCS
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ANSWERS
Jack Tatum, Bronislau Nagurski, Elroy Hirsch, Harold “Red” Grange, Tom Henderson, Joe Namath, Dick Lane, Rich Jackson, Billy Johnson, Don Huston, Steve Van Buren, Lou Groza.
Here is a list of trivial items you’ve always wished you knew.
You could swim through the veins of a blue whale.
The white-throated snapping turtle of Australia breathes through it butt.
In order for Earth to become a black hole, its entire mass would have to be compressed into a space less than 1 inch in diameter.
In 1929, the famous television dog Rin-Tin-Tin received the most votes for the Academy Award for best actor but didn’t win.
The leading role in the movie Forest Gump, was originally offered to John Travolta.
Deviant Artistry
John Wayne was offered the lead role in Blazing Saddles by Mel Brooks but turned it down.
The famous Dr. children’s book Green Eggs and Ham contained just 50 different words.
At various points in history the Olympics included competitions in categories such as painting, engraving, architecture, literature, and town planning.
During World War II, so many NFL players were fighting in the war that the rival Philadelphia Eagles and Pittsburgh Steelers temporarily teamed up to form a team called the “Steagles“.
Until recently, Russia did not consider beer an alcoholic drink. Anything containing less than 10% alcohol is considered a soft drink in Russia until 2011.
ONE OF MY FAVS
More people are killed by vending machines each year than sharks.
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local bars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by a woman. Many females are using a date rape drug on the market called “Beer.” The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply asks him to come home with her for some no-strings attached sex.
Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this Beer scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you just look up “Golf Courses” in the phone book
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A man walks into a bar and says “G-g-gimme a b-b-beer. The bartender says, “Seems as though you’ve got a major stuttering problem.” The man replies, N-n-no k-k-kidding!” The bartender says, “I used to stutter, but my wife cured me. One afternoon she gave me oral sex three times in a row, and I haven’t stuttered since!” The man says, “W-w-wow, th-th-that’s great to kn-kn-know” A week later, the same man returns to the bar, and says, “G-g-gimme a b-b-beer.” The bartender says, “Why didn’t you do what I told you?” “I d-d-did try”, said the man. “It j-j-just d-d-didn’t w-w-work. But I m-m-must say, you have a r-r-really n-nice apartment.
AND TO MY BETTER-HALF AND ALL OF YOU OTHER BEER FANATICS
I’d like once again to share some lovely poetry by the worlds children. These poems are sweet and heartfelt which isn’t unusual when written by the pure of heart. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have. The topic for today is PEOPLE.
Everyone loves music of one sort or another and I’m no different. Unfortunately I think 50% of the music being made today is garbage. I may be considered a music snob but I only like GOOD MUSIC. I like some Heavy Metal, some R&B, some Opera, some Disco, and even some Rap, as long as it’s good. Today’s post will add to your trivia knowledge of the music business. If you’re just a casual music fan you may not be aware of a lot of the facts I’m going to list but that’s what’s so great about music, it’s all about personal preferences.
It is estimated that the “Happy Birthday to You” song earns Warner Music up to $5000 in royalties per day.
The bass player and co-lead singer of the band Kiss was named Chaim Witz.
John Denver’s real name was Henry John Deutschendorf Jr.
Leo Fender, inventor of the Telecaster, Stratocaster, and Precision Bass guitars, could not play the guitar.
Rolling Stone magazine twice listed Jimi Hendrix as the number one greatest guitar player of all time.
QUEEN
Brian May, lead guitarist for the band Queen, also had a PhD in astrophysics.
The song “Le Freak” by the band Chic, was the first song to hit number one on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart three separate times.
Madonna, with 38 singles, followed by Elvis Presley, The Beatles, and Michael Jackson, had the most top 10 singles on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.
Mike Nesmith the famous member of the made-for-television band The Monkees also invented Liquid Paper the popular correction fluid.
The Village People once advertised for members with a personal ad requesting: Wanted: Macho Types, Must Dance and Have a Mustache.
It’s once again time for me to justify this blog’s name. Here are twelve items of Useless Information that aren’t commonly known.
Although the earth is 70% water, just 1% of it is considered drinkable.
The first people to measure Mount Everest lied about tall it was. Their measurement was exactly 29,000 feet but they thought no one would believe it came to that exact measurement so they added two more feet to the total.
The animal with the longest hibernation period is a frog.
Every planet in the solar system could fit in the space between Earth and the moon even if you include Pluto.
Neil Armstrong claims that he actually said, “That’s one small step for a man” when he landed on the moon.
Arnold Schwarzenegger almost missed out on the title role in Terminator to none other than O.J. Simpson.
The mask worn by Michael Myers in the Halloween series was actually a white plastic Captain Kirk mask.
Bill Buckner had more career hits than Ted Williams.
No one has ever recorded a perfect March Madness bracket.
Cleopatra’s reign was closer to the date of the moon landings than the building of the pyramids.
The United States government once poisoned beer during prohibition.
The first bomb dropped by the Allies on Germany during World War II killed an elephant. It fell on the Berlin zoo.
I really do try to avoid writing about politics and politicians. No matter what you write your going to piss off a great many people. I’ve always found politics to be a necessary evil but I avoid political discussions religiously and religious discussions politically. It can be a great source of humor which is it’s biggest selling point for me. I do miss the days of Marion Barry in DC and his constant stream of misstatements and BS. I prayed that he would eventually run for Congress and be elected because the shit-storm he could have caused would’ve had me laughing for years. In his honor I dedicate this post of some of his most incredibly stupid quotes and nose-sniffing behavior. It makes me very nostalgic.
“I’m providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raised . . .”
“The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather.”
“I promise you a police car on every sidewalk.”
“I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria, or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?”
“What we have here is an egregemous miscarriagement of taxitude.”
“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
“There are two kinds of truth. There are real truths, and there are made-up truths.”
I am a great mayor, I am an outstanding Christian man, I am an intelligent man, I am a deeply educated man, and I’m a humble man.”
I’m feeling a bit rambunctious this morning which doesn’t happen as much as I’d like. There are lots of topics to discuss every day it seems but most aren’t worth my time. Since every person on the internet seems to be an effing expert on everything, I decided to step back and watch the fun as they continue to make fools of themselves. With that thought in mind I decided to share some rather borderline off-color humor today because I can. The online experts can kiss my ass and if what I post displeases them they can piss off and stop reading my blog. Enjoy . . .
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Two guys were getting drunk and horny at a bar. One said: “When I get home I want to give my woman a different kind of sex that’ll blow her mind”. The other suggested: “Why don’t you try rodeo sex?” “Rodeo sex, what’s that?” It’s when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair, pull her head back slightly and whisper quietly in her ear, “Your sister was better at this than you . . . and then try to hold on for the full 8 seconds!
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A guy had been dating a girl for over a year when he decided it was time to take their relationship to the next level. “How do you feel about sex?” he asked cautiously. “It’s fine,” she said, “as long as it’s infrequent.” He looked at her a bit puzzled.” Is that one word or two?”
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A girl picked up a guy at a nightclub and with her parents being out of town, seized the opportunity to invite him back to her home. When they got to her bedroom, he noticed that the room was filled with fluffy stuffed animals. There were hundreds of them: fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe, fluffy toys on the window sill, fluffy toys on the floor, fluffy toys all over the bed, and fluffy toys on three rows of shelves. Later, after they had sex, he turned to her and asked: “So how was it for you?” She said: “You can take anything from the bottom shelf.”
everyuselessthing.com 