I woke up at 4:45 am today and it’s still cold and miserable outside. It’s been raining for a day and a half and I hate it. I made the decision to stay in bed under my warm electric blanket and to watch one of my favorite movies, The Godfather. There’s nothing like an couple hours of senseless violence, mayhem and the occasional murder or two to get your day started. I then caught up on the days sport scores so as not to be totally uninformed. My coffee was hot but unfortunately none of my hometown teams (Pittsburgh) were. I’ve been wanting to post a few limericks this week and I’ve also got sports on my mind. What’s better than a few sporty limericks to kick off this crappy day.
I’m not a huge sports fan but many people are. I’m strictly a baseball fan and have an interest in only one or two football games a season. Surprisingly many of our most famous celebrities played sports of one kind or another in their younger days. Check these sports fans out.
Matthew Perry – Ranked teenage tennis star at age 13 in Ottawa.
Kurt Russell – Left acting for Minor League baseball in 1971.
Queen Latifah – Power forward on two state championship basketball teams.
Richard Gere – Won a gymnastic scholarship to the University of Massachusetts.
Tommy Lee Jones – Was a champion polo player.
Keanu Reeves – Voted MVP on his high school hockey team.
Billy Crystal – Attended college on a baseball scholarship.
Jack Palance – Was once a professional boxer.
Sarah Michelle Gellar – Was a highly placed competitive figure skater.
Chevy Chase – Once worked as a tennis professional.
A guess there were a few surprises on that list but it’s nice to know that under all of that Hollywood nonsense lives a bunch of regular sports loving folks.
While I’m not much of a sports fan these days, I did play a lot of sports over the years. I loved playing sports but watching them now is as much fun as watching paint dry. I’m still a lover of trivia too so it’s about time I matched them up. Here are a few sports trivia facts you may not have been aware of.
Wilt Chamberlain averaged 48.5 minutes per game in 1961–62. That means he played every minute of every game and every minute of every overtime.
Pittsburgh is the only city where every one of its professional sports teams wears the same colors.
Major league baseball uses approximately 900,000 balls every season.
Prior to the 1930s in the NBA a jump ball used to follow every made basket.
One of the greatest pitchers in MLB history was known to run off the field during games to chase firetrucks. Rube Waddell was fascinated with firetrucks and managers had a difficult time keeping him on the mound if one drove by. It didn’t stop him from being one of the greatest strikeout pitchers in the history of the game.
Wilt Chamberlain once averaged over 50 points per game for an entire season.
Before Babe Ruth, MLB’s career home run record was just 138. When the babe retired, the new record was 714.
Jackie Mitchell, one of the first (and only) female player in the major league baseball system, once struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig in consecutive at-bats. The strikeouts occurred during a minor league exhibition game against the Yankees.
For 43 years, the NFL record for the longest made field goal was held by a man (Tom Dempsey) with no toes on his kicking foot.
Jackie Robinson was not the first black player in major league baseball. William Edward White, a former slave, served as a one-game replacement player in 1879. Moses Fleetwood Walker lasted slightly longer, playing nearly a full season in 1884, 63 years before Jackie Robinson made his historic debut.
I’m a huge fan of baseball primarily because I played it for so many years. It’s the best! However, I will continue to poke the baseball bear in the eye whenever possible. The game is sacred to me, but the individual players are not. So, let’s have a little fun today.
“Any pitcher who throws at a batter and deliberately tries to hit him is a Communist.” Alvin Dark, New York Giants Infielder
“Even Napoleon had his Watergate.” Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager
“Folks, this is perfect weather for today’s game. Not a breath of air.” Curt Gowdy, sports commentator
“All I said was that the trades were stupid and dumb, and they took that and blew it all out of proportion.” Ron Davis, Minnesota Twins pitcher
“I am throwing twice as hard as I ever did. It’s just not getting there as fast.” Lefty Gomez, New York Yankee pitcher
“I prefer fast foods.” Infielder Rocky Bridges, when asked why he wouldn’t eat snails
“I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.” Tug McGraw, National League pitcher, when asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf
“Raise the urinals.” Darrel Chaney, Atlanta Braves infielder, on how to keep the Braves on their toes
“Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.” Pedro Guerrero, National League player
“I lost it in the sun.” Billy Loes, Brooklyn Dodger pitcher after fumbling a grounder
Since I was talking about Little League baseball in my last post, I thought a little more sports trivia might be interesting. Here are a few tidbits from baseball and football that you might be aware of, and you may not. Enjoy . . .
Baseball
In the early days of baseball, players were permitted to throw the ball at a runner for an out and pitching underhanded. Balls caught on one bounce were considered outs.
The team who won the first recorded game of baseball was the New York Nine. They beat the New York Knickerbockers 23 to 1 in 1846. By 1857, 16 New York area clubs were playing baseball under the auspices of the National Association of Baseball Players (NABBP), the sports first governing body.
1903 was the first year in which a World Series was played. The Boston Americans (American League) beat the Pittsburgh Pirates (National League) in a best-of-seven nine-game series. Five years later, the Boston Americans rebranded themselves as the Boston Red Sox.
It is commonly believed that Glenn Burke of the Los Angeles Dodgers, gets credited for the invention of the high-five. During the final game of the 1977 regular season, Dodger player Dusty Baker hit a home run and was greeted in the dugout with the high-five slapped by teammate Glenn Burke. The rest is history.
Football
President Theodore Roosevelt is credited with instituting the forward pass rule in football. He demanded a change to footballs rules in 1905, after 18 players were killed and 159 injured that year. The forward pass was intended to open up the game and minimize the chaotic dog piles associated with lateral passing. The rule was adopted in 1906.
The original name of the Oakland Raiders was the Oakland Senors. It was the winning entry in a 1959 test sponsored by the Oakland Tribune to name the new franchise.
The Chicago Bears are the only current NFL team playing in its original city, under its original name. They’ve been the Chicago Bears since 1921.
It is estimated that 78% of professional football players are bankrupt or in severe financial trouble after retiring from the NFL. That’s after just two years of retirement.
Deion Sanders in 1989, played in the Super Bowl for the Atlanta Falcons and in the World Series for the New York Yankees. He’s also the only person to have scored a touchdown and hit a major league home run in the same week.
Well, it looks like winter is finally fading away. What does that mean to most of us? Warm weather and lots of sports. Today I want to combine your love of sports with my love of limericks. Here are four limericks concerning golf and baseball. Enjoy!
Let’s have a little fun today. While I’m not the greatest sports fan who’s ever lived, I have a deep and abiding passion for baseball. Not listening to or watching games on television (other than the Little League World Series) but actual playing at it for many years. I find watching sports these days is as much fun as watching paint dry. They’re not the same games as they were when I was growing up. All that being said there are certain things about sports that are universal and forever and one of those is the words of wisdom spoken by Yogi Berra. He was a great ballplayer, but his little tidbits of wisdom made him more famous than baseball. I’ve picked up a few of them here and there over the years and then I discovered a gold mine of them in recent weeks. These are the ones I like the best and here they are for your enjoyment. Let’s go…
“This is like déjà vu all over again.”
“You got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”
In reference to movie star Steve Queen, “He must’ve made that movie before he died.”
When asked what he would do if he found $1 million, he stated, “I’d find the fellow who lost it and if he was poor, I’d return it.”
“Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.”
“A nickel isn’t worth a dime today.”
When asked for the time, he stated, “Do you mean now?”
“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
“I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it wasn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”
“It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”
When asked about his hat size he stated, ” I don’t know. I’m not in shape yet.”
“You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”
“I take a two-hour nap, from one o’clock to four.”
“You give 100% in the first half of the game, and if that isn’t enough, in the second half you give what’s left.”
“I didn’t really say everything I said.”
Well, there you have it folks. The sport of baseball hasn’t been the same since Yogi retired and passed away. We need more like him in all of today’s sports to keep us aware that it’s just a game for kids. That’s how it was before it became nothing but agents, money, negotiations, social media, media interviews, and a few hundred talking heads who think they have all the answers. They’ve all done their best to ruin “Americas Pastime” and it’s a damn shame.
Yesterday was an odd day. After my forty-five minute workout I completed what few chores I had scheduled, changed clothes, and was off to do some shopping. At 11:30 I received a message from my better-half who’d just left work and was headed home. I no sooner stepped from my car than it was decided we’d be spending the next few hours exploring along the seacoast and looking for a restaurant. We were hoping for a place we’d never before visited. Our travels brought us to Cape Porpoise, Maine located in a small harbor near the Whale Island lighthouse. We’ve been in this area many times before but never had occasion to visit any of the three small restaurants located there.
I saw a sign, "The Ramp", with a walkway extending behind a larger restaurant down towards the water. It was a tiny Bar & Grill tucked behind and under the other restaurant.
It had a sports theme and the walls and ceilings were covered with memorabilia from just about everywhere. Football helmets, autographed pictures, political signs, basketball hoops, and a helleva lot more. It was one of the coolest bars I’ve ever visited and I’ve been in a few.
We had a couple of drinks while we waited for our food and the place was packed with people. Fortunately for us we’d been seated just before the big Friday afternoon crowd arrived. The wait for a seat was close to forty minutes but nobody seemed to mind. You could lounge with a drink along the water waiting for your table.
I ordered a plate of Portuguese mussels that were without a doubt the best I’ve ever had. They were swimming in a broth of red chili’s, hot sausage, and herbs. My better-half had the crab cakes which she raved about for the rest of the day.
The beer was cold, the food delicious, and the help was better than expected considering how busy it was. We found ourselves making plans to return to this little bistro before we’d finished our first beers.
‘The Whale Island lighthouse.’
This little place was one of the nicest surprises we’ve had in some time. We’ll be returning very soon to try a few more local brews and delicious food. The meal was beautifully presented, delicious, and nicely priced. Our check not including the tip was $62.00 and believe me when I say it was money well spent.
‘You can’t get seafood much fresher than this. Right off the boat.’
If you’re ever in the vicinity you should stop by for a nosh. This is one of those hidden little treasures that’s mainly frequented by the locals who know a good thing when they have it.
What compels almost every group of humans who spend any amount of time together to break into smaller groups based on any number of societal reasons? We have the geeks and jocks, the pretty and not so pretty, the brains and the dummies, the sexually different, and just about anything else you can think of. One of the worst outcomes of group dynamics is bullying. Whether it’s verbal, physical, emotional, or cyber it continues regardless of the steps taken by our society to stop it. The end results of bullying are ugly and include awful things such as suicides, murders, beatings, and a life long emotional issue for the victims to deal with. Nothing good comes of it.
I’ve experienced most of these things first hand growing up. They started for me in Middle school when I was a short and skinny nerd being bullied by a much older and meaner student and his pals. I dealt with it as best I could until a few years later when I grew about a foot and put on forty pounds. Then all of a sudden their nonsense stopped and they moved on to other smaller and less hostile targets.
In High School I had the misfortune to be socially placed into two different groups. On one hand I was a jock who lettered in a number of sports but I was also confined to the weirdo category because of my artistic bent. At sporting events it was OK to be seen with me but all of my jock buddies avoided any type of friendship off the field. I was independent enough to deal with it but how well I did is still up for discussion. If I handled it so well why am I continuing to talk about it after all these years? A good question to be sure but one I really don’t want to answer. I suspect the scars on any bullying victim never go away completely.
I’m only bringing it up now because of what I observed only a day or so ago. I was riding by a local high school and classes were letting out. I observed no less than five or six distinct groups standing on the same sidewalk. They were talking amongst themselves in their own groups but ignoring the others. I could see the obvious differences immediately, sport related jackets in one group, weird clothing and hats in another, musical instruments in a third and as always a small group of sad looking kids who were the obvious outcast group. I was immediately transported back to my early days when I was the guy who walked through the many and varied groups wondering why I wasn’t being accepted. It was a little bit of time travel I could have done without.
I have no answers or solutions and apparently no one else does either. I see on TV the reports of student groups standing up and fighting against bullying. They wear their cute t-shirts and attend their cute meetings and accomplish very little. The people that need to be attending those rallies and listening to the speech’s are the bullies themselves and the school administrators who have the power to discipline them. The bullies watch those activities and laugh them off with a shrug and a smirk. Then it’s business as usual the very next day. It takes much sterner consequences by the powers-that-be on the bully’s before we can expect to see any improvement. Our politically correct school systems make that damn near impossible. Drastic problems require drastic action and doing nothing at all is cowardly and unforgiveable.
It’s time for all of you sports experts out there to find out how well or how badly you’ve done? Here are the promised answers that I intend to memorize for my own uses in our local tavern’s weekly trivia contest. One of these days these factoids will finally pay off and win me a beer or two or three.
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1. The referee’s yellow flag. Taylor said he felt he deserved it because the ref’s “ threw it against me” often enough.
2. Tennis, at the 1900 games in Paris. Charlotte Cooper of Great Britain was the first gold medalist.
3. New York Giant knuckleballer week Hoyt Wilhelm, in 1952.
4. Jim Thorpe, in 1970. He did it a second time in 1919. Deion Sanders was the second athlete to accomplish the feat 70 years later, in 1989.
5. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with 4657. Other career records he holds include number of minutes played (57,446), points scored (38,387), and field goals scored (15,837). He played from 1969 to 1989.
6. O.J. Simpson, who racked up 2003 yards for Buffalo in 1973, breaking the previous record of 1863 yards set 10 years earlier by Jim Brown.
7. Five.
8. The red brick tenement that was his boyhood home once stood on the site of second base at Cincinnati’s Riverfront Stadium.
9. Rookie Willie Mays.
10. “Little Warrior”. O’Neal is 7’1" tall.
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Here’s the obligatory joke of the day. Those of us who are historically Microsoft customers will really appreciate this.
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Microsoft vs. General Motors
A few years ago at a computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
Every time they repaint the lines in the road, you’ll have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
Apple Inc. will make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.
The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You’d have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
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And finally for those of you that love limericks and beer, here’s a rather tame one proving once and for all that it’s possible for limericks to be funny without being too filthy.
everyuselessthing.com 