Archive for the ‘Education’ Category

12-14-2013 HIGH SCHOOL – 1957 vs. 2013   2 comments

I’m was never in high school during the 1950’s.  I just wanted to be clear on that point because I was in what is now called Middle school.  To say there are differences between now and the fifties is a huge understatement.  As mentioned yesterday, political correctness is responsible for accelerating that change. Here are a few hypothetical scenarios showing the differences.  When you first read them you might think the writer was exaggerating to make a point.  If you really look at it honestly you can see it’s not exaggerated at all.

* * *

Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.

1957 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2013 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2013 – Police called and SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 – Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2013 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The family gets extra money (SSI) from the government because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2013 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse, Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 – Mark shares his aspirin with a friend who also has a headache.

2013 – The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1957 – Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2013 – Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 – Ants die.

2013 – ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents – and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 –In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2013 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

* * *

Do you honestly think it was exaggerated?  I don’t.  I’m glad for two things this Christmas season. One, that I’m not a kid attending school these days, and second, I have no grand children in the schools yet.  It gives me time to get their minds right before the liberal academics begin their propagandizing.

MERRRRRRY CHRISTMAS

12-12-2013 Political Correctness in Sports   4 comments

I’ve been fighting the good fight against political correctness for more years than I care to admit.  All in all it’s made no difference whatsoever.  It hasn’t changed my thinking in the least but I’m out numbered by people and government institutions that have more money and power than I.  They’ve made political correctness a permanent part of the American landscape and I’m not sure what it will take to get us back on track.  The only thing I’m absolutely sure is that I won’t be alive to see the change if it ever comes.

I’ll continue to fight the good fight and ridicule those politically correct fools whenever possible and use my sarcasm as a weapon against them.  With that in mind I present for your edification the following article.  It was sent to me by a long time friend in KC who is another warrior against political correctness.  It made me laugh and then after I thought about it some more I stopped laughing.  You sports fanatics will appreciate this.

* * *

I agree with our Native American population—I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins.  One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as warriors, but nay nay….   We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.

Let’s ditch The Kansas City Chiefs, The Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians.  If your panties are in a bunch because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns as well.

The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of the militant Blacks from the 60’s alive.  Gone.  Offensive to us white folk.

The New York Yankees offend the Southern population.  Do you see a team named for the Confederacy?  No!  There is no room for any reference to that tragic war between the states that cost this country so many young men’s lives.  Besides, the South shall rise again!!

I’m also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our football team names.  Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.  The fact that there are birds on their shirts does not protect either the Arizona or the St. Louis Cardinals—gone!

Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged as their way of life.  We are talking the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children—and it is all about the children. The Green Bay Packers and the St. Louis Rams–promote gay men.  Wrong message to our children.

The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible spending habits.  Wrong message to our children.

The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity–a growing childhood epidemic.  Wrong message to our children.

The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates.  Drugs is definitely a wrong message to our children.

The Milwaukee Brewers—well, that goes without saying….   Wrong message to our children.

So, there you go.  We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should.  A high priority directly behind efficiently managing our country’s health care.

* * *

We will soon be watching the Unicorns vs Kittens on Sunday afternoons.  GO UNICORNS, KICK THE HELL OUT OF THEM KITTENS!  Can I get an amen?

12-11-2013 More Christmas & Kwanza Factoids   Leave a comment

I wonder about Christmas sometimes.  We know it wasn’t the actual day that Christ was born and we’re pretty sure the entire story was made up well after the fact by people who weren’t even there.  Yet it remains the ultimate religious observance except maybe for Easter where religion has slowly faded into the background.  As always I have a lot of questions and felt  the need to search out some answers.  Unfortunately there are as many answers as there are versions of the original story.  Here’s a few that I found.

* * *

Why are there Twelve Days of Christmas?

Traditionally, it took the ‘Three Kings’ this number of days to find the baby Jesus. Their arrival on the twelfth day was celebrated in the form of the Feast of Epiphany in medieval France, and later in other countries.

Where did the Candy Cane come from?

In a small Indiana town, there was a candy maker who wanted to spread the name of Jesus around the world. He invented the Christmas Candy Cane, incorporating symbols for the birth, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ. He began with a stick of pure white, hard candy to symbolize the Virgin Birth. The candy maker formed the stick into a “J” to represent the name of Jesus or it can also represent the staff of the “Good Shepherd.” He thought the candy was too plain so he stained it with a red stripe to symbolize the blood shed by Christ on the cross.

Weird Christmas Games

Shoe the Wild Mare

Shoeing the Wild Mare is a traditional Christmas game that goes back to at least the early 17th century. Get a narrow(a few inches wide),strong wooden beam and suspend it from the roof with two even length ropes. The beam is the ‘mare’ of the title and should be level yet high enough above the floor so that a player’s feet are off-ground. A player ‘the farrier’ then sits on the ‘mare’ in the center, a leg on either side. This player has a hammer and has to give the underside of the beam “four time eight blows” at a designated spot. If he falls off, it is someone else’s turn. Much hilarity, and the odd broken shoulder ensues.

Snapdragons

Apparently this is the best game ever to play on Christmas Eve. Make sure you have the fire department on speed dial though. Very popular from the 16th to the 19th centuries, Snapdragons  has explicably declined in popularity.

Gather everyone around the dining room table, place a large flat dish in the center. In the dish scatter a good handful of raisins then pour on top a layer of brandy or cognac. Set fire to the brandy and dim the lights. Players take turns  plucking a raisin out of the burning liquid and eating it quickly. For a more competitive edge to the game use larger dried fruit such as apricots, one of which has a lucky coin stuffed inside.

Equipment needed: plate, matches, raisins, brandy, and the address of nearest fire department.

* * *

I could easily have added another fifty items even more stupid than these but life’s too short.  I’ve decided that every story  about Christmas and every weird tradition that’s been adopted any where on the planet is nothing more than a large steaming pile.  I give up.  When it comes right down to it Christmas is no more legitimate than Kwanza.  I’d love to be around in a hundred years or so to see what Kwansa morphs into.  They’ll always be a herd of idiots who’ll believe almost anything they’re told by just about anyone.  I wonder if this country will ever be invaded by Kwanza believers with bombs strapped to their chests, angry that their religion is being disrespected.  It could happen.  I’m also glad I won’t be here to see it.

MERRY EFFING KWANZA

12-03-2013 Stupid Government–The New Tradition   1 comment

As we progress through these times of trouble I sit back and watch what our politicians have put forth for consideration to solve our problems. Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, and Independents are almost interchangeable with only a few minor exceptions. The one true common denominator is their desperate need for reelection and their ability to BS and double talk around the tough questions.

(Sarcasm on) They have a tough job, no question. (Sarcasm off) Excellent salary, best medical benefits ever (exempt from Obamacare), best pension and retirement plan, and the ability to sell themselves to any lobbying organization once they’ve been ousted from office. I think it’s time we the public should use the most important and only tool we have, something called the vote. After watching these inept politicians for the last few years it’s becoming painfully obvious who they really care about.  THEMSELVES! If they want to be reelected we must make them earn it.  Being swayed by charisma and ignoring the facts will be the death of this nation.

I try to point out as often as possible that stupidity is running amok in the government because it’s becoming more obvious and overwhelming and I need to vent.  It’s our responsibility to take the time to look and recognize it for what it is and to stop it. Stupidity is not a new thing to this government or to any other. These following definitions may assist you in identifying those in government who are truly stupid and acting against our collective best interests.

* * *

STUPIDITY

1. Slow to learn or understand; obtuse.

2. Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes.

3. Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless: a stupid mistake.

4. Dazed, stunned, or stupefied.

5. Pointless; worthless: a stupid job.

n.

A stupid or foolish person.

* * *

Now that you have the definitions in hand, look around, identify those who fit the bill and vote them out.  No party or group should be permitted to continuously make decisions against the best interests of us all. As this year comes to an end it’s time to look at the results of this administration’s efforts and ask the big question.  Do we want more of the same or is it time for real change, not some insincere election slogan repeated over and over again. The next presidential election is fast approaching and I hope we as a people choose intelligently this time.

“Wooden-headedness consists of assessing a situation in terms of preconceived, fixed notions while ignoring or rejecting any contrary signs.  It is acting according to wish while not allowing one-self to be confused by the facts.” – Barbara Tuchman (1912-1989) “An Inquiry into the Persistence of Unwisdom in Government”

“In public affairs, stupidity is more dangerous than knavery.” – Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924) “The New Freedom: A Call for the Emancipation of the Generous Energies of a People”

“Kid, life’s hard. But it’s a lot harder if you’re stupid.” – Robert Mitchum (1917-1997)  In Tom Tico, letter to the San Francisco Chronicle, 29 July 1997.

“STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES” – Forest Gump

12-01-2013 Useless Christmas Factoids   Leave a comment

DSC_6013

Here’s Our Tree!

The end of November signals the start of all the normal Christmas insanity that most of us complain about.  Shopping, crowds, traffic jams, annoying music, and people everywhere with their hands extended looking for money.  It makes me happy not to be a religious person because if I were, I’d be really pissed off and upset.  The Christmas tradition in this country has slowly morphed into a typical American greed-fest.  I thought today I’d forward along a list of thirty factoids about the holiday from a few countries around the globe and many from the United States.  Some are crazy and others just a little bit interesting.  Enjoy them and hopefully they’ll spark some of that good old Christmas spirit from when you were a kid.  I threw that photo of our tree in just to let you know I am participating regardless of how much I complain.

  • Puritan Oliver Cromwell outlawed Christmas celebrations and carols in England from 1649-1660. The only celebrations allowed were sermons and prayers.
  • The people at Reynolds (aluminum foil) make a substantial amount of money selling foil during the Yuletide season. It has been confirmed that at least 3000 tons of foil are used to wrap turkeys annually.
  • Warning: Christmas shopping may be hazardous to your health. If you are an avid Christmas shopper statistics have concluded that you will be elbowed at least three times while shopping. Ouch!
  • Sending Christmas cards is still the in thing to do around Christmas time. Americans on average send out 28 Christmas cards to friends and family yearly, and guess what, it’s certainly not in vain either, most will receive 28 for the same period.
  • Christmas is a great time to exercise. You will walk an average of five miles between the parking lot and stores, however, don’t let this give you a false sense of security, most people still gain those pesky Christmas pounds despite this.
  • Bolivians celebrate Misa del Gallo or “Mass of the Rooster” on Christmas Eve. Some people bring roosters to the midnight mass, a gesture that symbolizes the belief that a rooster was the first animal to announce the birth of Jesus.
  • In Poland, spiders or spider webs are common Christmas trees decorations because according to legend, a spider wove a blanket for Baby Jesus.
  • Alabama was the first state in the United States to officially recognize Christmas in 1836. Oklahoma was the last state the declare Christmas a holiday.
  • The Germans made the first artificial Christmas trees out of dyed goose feathers.
  • Each year more than 3 billion Christmas cards are sent in the U.S. alone.

  • All the gifts in the Twelve Days of Christmas would equal 364 gifts.
  • In A.D. 350, Pope Julius I, bishop of Rome, proclaimed December 25 the official celebration date for the birthday of Christ.
  • According to the Guinness world records, the tallest Christmas tree ever cut was a 221-foot Douglas fir that was displayed in 1950 at the Northgate Shopping Center in Seattle, Washington.
  • The traditional three colors of Christmas are green, red, and gold. Green has long been a symbol of life and rebirth; red symbolizes the blood of Christ, and gold represents light as well as wealth and royalty.
  • According to data analyzed from Facebook posts, two weeks before Christmas is one of the two most popular times for couples to break up. However, Christmas Day is the least favorite day for breakups.
  • Contrary to popular belief, suicide rates during the Christmas holiday are low.
  • The world’s largest Christmas stocking measured 106 feet and 9 inches long and 49 feet and 1 inches wide. It weighed as much as five reindeer and held almost 1,000 presents. It was made by the Children’s Society in London on December 14, 2007.
  • Christmas trees usually grow for about 15 years before they are sold.
  • President Teddy Roosevelt, an environmentalist, banned Christmas trees from the White House in 1912.
  • Each year there are approximately 20,000 “rent-a-Santa’s” across the United States. “Rent-a-Santa’s” usually undergo seasonal training on how to maintain a jolly attitude under pressure from the public.

  • Christmas wasn’t declared an official holiday in the United States until June 26, 1870.
  • Oklahoma was the last U.S. state to declare Christmas a legal holiday, in 1907.
  • In 1962, the first Christmas postage stamp was issued in the United States.
  • Christmas purchases account for 1/6 of all retail sales in the U.S.
  • Because they viewed Christmas as a decadent Catholic holiday, the Puritans in America banned all Christmas celebrations from 1659-1681 with a penalty of five shillings for each offense.
  • Because of their pagan associations, both the holly (associated with the masculine principle) and the ivy (the feminine) and other green boughs in home decoration were banned by the sixth-century Christian Council of Braga.
  • There are two competing claims as to which president was the first to place a Christmas tree in the White House. Some scholars say President Franklin Pierce did in 1856; others say President Benjamin Harrison brought in the first tree in 1889. President Coolidge started the White House lighting ceremony in 1923.
  • There are approximately 21,000 Christmas tree farms in the United States.
  • The first printed reference to a Christmas tree was in 1531 in Germany.
  • Approximately 30-35 million real (living) Christmas trees are sold each year in the U.S.

ENJOY THE SEASON

11-30-2013 Journal Entry – Help, I’m Being Held Prisoner!   Leave a comment

Did anyone every tell you the story about getting a message in a fortune cookie that said “Help me, I’m being held prisoner in a Chinese fortune cookie factory.” I’ve had a few people try that on me over the years and never thought it was all that funny.  It’s still not funny especially now when I’m the guy who’s the prisoner.

It’s now been five weeks since I broke my damn leg and I’ve got to tell you the novelty of walking on crutches with a big clunky cast is long over.  The only thing worse than breaking your leg is that you’re then being forced to walk with crutches.  Crutches are the devil’s way of paying us back for all the bad things we’ve done in our life.

Being totally immobilized is the worst.  I found I wasn’t able to do much of anything when on those effing crutches. I had to request my better-half to do everything because I had no ability to carry things from place to place.  I tried with a cup of coffee but on my first attempt I spilled a large portion of really hot coffee directly onto my cat who insists on running between my legs every time I stand up.  I’ll bet he won’t do that again.

So after a period of time I had to come up with some way of doing things on my own without any help.  It wasn’t as easy as it sounds.  I brought my wheeled computer chair from my man-cave to the upstairs and  then using my crutches like oars was able to go into the kitchen, prepare a snack, and then paddle my way back to the living room.  It was a moderately successful idea until I pushed too hard with one crutch, lost my balance, and flipped over.  The food tasted kind of funny after I scrapped it off the floor and part of the wall and there was no way I could save the coffee.  It amazes me just how large an area a medium sized cup of coffee can cover when tossed across the kitchen.  It took me a long time to get it all cleaned up crawling around on my hands and knees and cursing a blue steak.  It was time for a better idea.

I found an old jacket with a few large pockets and was finally able to pack the pockets full of goodies including my hot cup of coffee in a sealable travel mug. I was saved.  Do you know you can carry bacon, eggs and toast folded up in between two paper plates and tucked into a partially zipped up jacket.  I may be forced to come up with a few new recipes and packaging ideas for foods to be used by crutch handicapped people.  That ideas a little out there even for me so I’ll save it for another day.

I  now have the time to sit and design my other new idea, a Handy Dandy Crutch Caddy.  Two really well designed saddlebags that can be attached to the lower part of the crutches.  I could make one of the pockets insulated so the food remains hot during transport.  Maybe I’ll throw in a wi-fi antenna for the on-the-go one-legged computer nerds out there. It’s a good project for me since I have a few more weeks of this nonsense to deal with and if I don’t stay mentally busy I will lose my effing mind.

Help, I’m being held prisoner.

11-28-2013 How’s Your Brain Today?   1 comment

Trying to understand the workings of the human brain is almost impossible.  I do know that the brain has the ability to make us see things in a different way when it becomes confused.  That’s one of the reasons that identifications at a crime scene by six people can be totally different from each other.  One person sees a white Buick and another sees a blue Ford.  It also explains why police don’t consider information obtained from eye witness testimony as entirely credible.  I have no idea why the brain works the way it does and for the most part I don’t care, just as long as it keeps operating.

The following information was sent to me by a friend and I thought it might be of some interest to some of you.  It’s a short test for your brain and your eyes.  Give it a go and see how you fare.

Can you read this? It’s a little weird but interesting!

7H15  M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG  7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD  BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17 
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3  PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD  1F
U C4N R34D 7H15.

If  you can read this, you have a strange mind because I’m told only 55  people out of 100 can.

I  cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg.  The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at  Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in  a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last  ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a  taotl mses and you  can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid  deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe.  Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If  you can raed this forwrad it.

The  Eye Test
Can  you find the  B’s
(there  are 2 B’s) DON’T skip, or your wish won’t come  True…

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Once  you’ve found the B’s now find  the 1.

               
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII1III
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Once  you found the 1…………….
Find  the 6

9999999999999999999999999999999999 
9999999999999999999999999999999999 
9999999999999999999999999999999999 
9999999999999999999999999999999999 
9999999999999999999999999999999999 
9999999999999999999999999999999999 
9999699999999999999999999999999999 
9999999999999999999999999999999999 
9999999999999999999999999999999999 
9999999999999999999999999999999999 
9999999999999999999999999999999999 
9999999999999999999999999999999999

 

Once  you’ve found the 6…
Find  the N (it’s hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM 
MMMMMMMMMMMMM 
MMMMMMMMMMMMM 
MMMMMMMNMMMMM 
MMMMMMMMMMMMM 
MMMMMMMMMMMMM 
MMMMMMMMMMMMM 
MMMMMMMMMMMMM 
MMMMMMMMMMMMM 
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Once  you’ve found the N…
Find  the Q..

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
OOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

How did you make out?  Did you have any difficulties?  There are no right or wrong answers to these silly little tests.  Just something to give your brain some exercise.  There’s nothing worse than having a fat and lazy brain.

11-25-2013 Are You an AAADD Sufferer?   4 comments

* * * *

This disclaimer is for those of you who are militant believers in all of these syndromes.  This posting is being written as humor with just a hint of the truth.  If you have no sense of humor then stop reading now because this will almost certainly anger you.  If you chose to continue please keep your caustic comments to yourself, they won’t be posted.

* * * *

These days it seems like everyone regardless of age or gender is suffering a syndrome of one kind or another.  This permits them to be stupid, annoying, and in general a huge pain in the ass without consequences.  If your child is undisciplined  and does pretty much what they please without any obvious parental control, they suffer from ADS.  Load them with a few drugs to maintain control in the classrooms and everything will be just fine.

Then they can grow into an annoying and undisciplined adult and be diagnosed with AADS.  More drugs and again less responsibility for bad behavior.

We have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and if that’s not good enough we also have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).  Both children and adults can now claim any of these disorders hoping for more drugs and less responsibility for their questionable rude behavior.

Were you also aware of the cottage industry that has blossomed for those poor and suffering souls afflicted with one or many of these disorders.  The first thing you should do is become an official member of CHADD.  This description was taken directly from their web-site.

Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD), is a national non-profit, tax-exempt (Section 501(c)(3)) organization providing education, advocacy and support for individuals with ADHD. In addition to our informative website, CHADD also publishes a variety of printed materials to keep members and professionals current on research advances, medications, and treatments affecting individuals with ADHD. These materials include Attention magazine and a free electronically mailed informational newsletter, as well as other publications of specific interest to educators, professionals, adults with ADHD, and parents.

As you can see it’s becoming an official part of our laundry list of disorders.  Pick the one that fits best, talk with a friendly doctor and make the diagnosis official.  Then present it to the school or your employer and expect special treatment from the entire world for the rest of your life. 

Why should I be left out?  Here’s a new disorder that I recently discovered quite by accident and I suspect there are millions of other sufferers nationwide that need to be told what’s wrong with them.  My new disorder is called AAADD or Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it works…

I decide to do my laundry. I start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I’m going to do the laundry…

BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack….

BUT FIRST I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook?

Oops.. there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook…

BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink.

I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away…

BUT FIRST I need to water those plants. I head for the door and…Aaaagh! stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants…

BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.

END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control… And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because…I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!

I realize this condition is serious…I’d get help… BUT FIRST…I think I’ll check my e-mail.

I need to quickly recruit a few hundred individuals interested in forming a non-profit organization to help spread the word to the world about this terrible albeit understandable age related problem.  How about we start the ASS-ASS organization, American Society of Silly -  Aged Seniors Sufferers

Join up with ASS–ASS immediately all of you poor suffering and aging old bastards.

REPRESENT ! ! !

11-24—2013 Our Judicial System at Work   Leave a comment

Having worked in and out of this country’s judicial system (I use the term loosely) for decades I feel I’ve earned the right to be as critical of the players in that systems as I care to be.  For me it’s a given that most defendants are borderline idiots or they wouldn’t be doing the sort of things requiring arrest. The attorneys are almost as bad and deserve whatever criticism they get as well.  The judges and the remainder of the system are flawed as well but as it’s always said, “our system may a mess but it’s better than all of the others.” That’s a paraphrased quote that I didn’t intentionally butcher, it just kind of happened.

Todays posting includes a few on the record questions and answers from a combination of stupid, inept, and well educated individuals.  They’re questions and answers are pitiful if they weren’t so ridiculous and at times funny.  That these were taken from actual court transcripts is really the scariest part.

  • Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at the time?

  • Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    Q: None.
    A: Were there any girls?

  • Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

  • Q: Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q: Was this a male or a female?

  • Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

  • Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

  • Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    A: Oral.

  • Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

  • Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

  • Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

My only advice is to avoid the judicial system at all costs.  It’s flawed just enough to make it possible for totally innocent people to be convicted and confined.  It’ doesn’t happen all that often but it does occasionally occur. Clean living and avoiding criminal elements is my best advice, it just isn’t worth the risk.  You’ve been warned.

11-20-2013 Learning From the Past   5 comments

As a young man I was known for never listening to figures of authority up to and including my parents.  Now that I’m older and somewhat wiser I realize that was a mistake.  I guess hind sight is always 20/20 as they say.  In my younger days I ignored everyone’s advice and paid a heavy price for my youthful arrogance. The adage  “Live and learn” is no joke.

It’s still our responsibility as reasonable adults and voting citizens to pass what we know along to our kids and even our politicians.  At some point the young people will become older and wiser and may have an interest in the things we say if we’ve been previously proven correct.  Most of the politicians these days show their arrogance by failing to  listen to their constituency and will pay the price for that arrogance by being voted out of office. We can’t make anyone listen but we do have the responsibility as voters to make the information available to them regardless. So peruse these quotations and glean whatever information you can from them.  I only wish our representatives could put their ego’s on the back-burner for a change and admit that they could learn a little something from their predecessors.

* * *

“We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.”  Abraham Lincoln

“A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.”  Martin Luther King Jr.

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”   Albert Einstein

“Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.”   Plato

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”   Albert Einstein

“Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is.”    Mahatma Gandhi

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”  Albert Einstein

LIVE AND LEARN