Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

09/14/2025 “LOVE THAT HISTORY”   Leave a comment

I like finding information in history that I’ve never heard before. Here are two samples of incidents that apparently are not common knowledge. Enjoy!

HARRY CARAY
  • We don’t know where or when the “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” seven-inning sing-along began, but one early claim and perhaps the one that popularized it was the result of a prank. In the 1970’s, baseball broadcaster Harry Caray, then a play-by-play announcer for the White Sox, was known to sing along to the song while in the broadcast booth, which was normally with the microphone off. Bill Veeck found out about this and one day unbeknownst to Caray he turned the broadcaster’s microphone on and piped Caray’s rendition to the fans. The fans absolutely loved it, and when Caray moved to the crosstown Chicago Cubs, he kept it going.
FORT SUMTER

  • Here’s a little tidbit from the Civil War era. Officially, the siege of Fort Sumter had a death toll of just two men, both Union soldiers. But those deaths weren’t at the hands of the Confederacy. Fort Sumter, low on provisions and undermanned, was unable to thwart the Confederate bombardment. Major Robert Anderson, the commander of the fort agreed to surrender after less than two days of bombardment, under the condition that his men be allowed to give a 100-gun salute when lowering the American flag. During that ceremony, some ammunition went off accidentally, killing Pvt. Edward Galloway and Daniel Hough, the only casualties.

09/09/2025 “POETRY & FOOTBALL”   Leave a comment

I sat for a while this morning (Sunday) trying to decide what to post. With the NFL season “kicking off” I’m being constantly distracted by my football insane better-half. She’s wearing a different jersey for each of the games she intends to watch on three TV’s in three different rooms of the house. All the while giving me a steady stream of narrative on teams that I could care less about. So my solution is to calm down, put on my noise cancelling headset, and read some poems written by some young upcoming poets. Enjoy them and then you can return to all of the football insanity.

📝📝📝

By Jackson O’Donnell, Age 8

The clouds float by
with eaglets watching
by and by
Really watching.
They must think that they are kings
Those funny little bald things.

✒️✒️

By Mona Thomas, Age 11

A little white mouse
Playing upon a sun beam
Then sliding back down.

🖋️🖋️

By Philip McIntyre Junior, Age 12

I see a rabbit drinking at a stream,
I know it wants to run from me, tense
as it may seem,
But some unknown force makes it stay
right there and sit,
The same curiosity that makes me keep
watching it.

🖊️🖊️

By Maura Copeland, Age 10

The heat of yesterday transformed the city into
A kingdom of clouds.
The skyscraper pierced the fog
looking like temples of an ancient land.

🏈🏈🏈

🏈🏈🏈

GO STEELERS & BUCS

09/06/2025 “WEIRD & RANDOM”   Leave a comment

  • Henry David Thoreau once burned down 300 acres of forest trying to cook a fish.
  • Abraham Lincoln once stated, “No matter how much the fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens.”
  • A Loony Law from the 1950’s – It was illegal for a flying saucer to land in a French vineyard.
  • Cicero once stated, “Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”
  • To quote William Randolph Hearst: “News is what people don’t want you to print. Everything else is ads.”

  • Ghandi speaking about Adolf Hitler – “I do not consider him to be as bad as depicted. He’s showing an ability that is amazing, and he seems to be gaining his victories without much bloodshed.”
  • Sigmund Freud once stated, “What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would’ve burned me. Now they are content with burning my books.”
  • During an interview in the 1950’s, Pope John XXIII was asked how many people work in the Vatican. He immediately stated: “About half.”
  • “I would’ve made a good Pope.” – Once stated by Richard Nixon
  • Random fact: License plates came before cars – as they were used on horse-drawn carriages in 1884.

This quote is one of my favorites as it applies to me:

“Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a God.” Aristotle

*****

I NEVER MET A HERMIT I DIDN’T LIKE

09/04/2025 💥💥J. Ciardi Limerick Alert💥💥   Leave a comment

I’ve stated many times as to my love for limericks especially those written by Isaac Asimov. Along with Isaac you must give a shout out to John Ciardi as well. He and Asimov had great fun trying to outdo each other with their written limericks. They even jointly published a book about their limerick feud which is a classic. These four limericks were written by John Ciardi for that book in response to a few that Asimov had written. I’ve read their book many times and still enjoy their bawdy humor. I hope you will enjoy it as well.

💥

The Times tells the world what is doing;
Who’s winning, who’s losing, who’s suing,
Whose striking, who’s stealing,
Who’s dying, whose healing,
But won’t say a word on who’s screwing.

💥💥

The girl who is really unbeatable
Is the one with whom sex is repeatable.
Who’s eternally screwable
And always renewable,
And who, most of all, is found eatable.

💥💥💥

There was a young woman named Cora Lee
Who said, “I will do it immorally
On top and bottom,
Any way that I’ve got them,
Vaginally, anally, and orally”.

💥💥💥💥

There once was a wicked old squire
Who burned with libidinous desire.
After screwing a nun
And the minister son,
He took all the girls in the choir.

📕📕📕

THE BOOK IS TITLED – ISAAC ASIMOV & JOHN CIARDI – A WAR OF WORDS

09/02/2025 ⚖️ATTORNEYS GOOD, BAD, AND OMG⚖️   Leave a comment

👮🏻‍♂️🚓👮🏻‍♀️

My life has been relatively interesting even though I spent a large part of that life in courthouses, courtrooms, and dealing with an ungodly number of attorneys, both good, bad, and some really bad. The general rule of mine was to ignore almost everything attorneys said to me and that served me well for three decades. They made me a believer of an old saying quoted by Edgar Allen Poe, “BELIEVE ONLY HALF OF WHAT YOU SEE AND NOTHING YOU HEAR”. I have a few friends that are actually very good attorneys and that just tells me there are exceptions to every rule. Today’s post is one of my favorite stories about attorneys. If and when you’re ever required to hire an attorney make sure you don’t get one like the one I’m about to tell you about.

Clement Vallandigham was an attorney and former US Congressman. In 1871, while defending a murder suspect in court, he argued that the alleged victim had not been murdered and could’ve accidently shot himself. Vallandigham took out a gun, held it as if at the scene of the crime and thinking it was unloaded, he pulled the trigger. Good news: He proved his point and his client was acquitted. Bad news: Vallandigham died from an accidental gunshot wound to the head.

JUST PLED TEMPORARY INSANITY FOR EVERYTHING

08/28/2025 ⚾”OLD-TIME B-BALL TRIVIA⚾   Leave a comment

I’m what most of you crazy avid sports fans would call a “fair weather fan”. I confess to that description to a certain degree. Only one sport has ever been all-consuming for me and that is baseball. I spent the better part of my youth playing baseball in Little League, high school teams, American Legion teams, and one local semi-pro team. Playing baseball was my life. Being on the field and playing was heaven for me but it has made watching modern baseball absolute torture. I was never bored while I was playing but watching it now is painful.

Todays blog will return me to those early years of baseball and will test those of you super-fans who have knowledge of the history of the sport. Here are some nicknames of well-known players from the past. Lets see how you do! As always the answers will be listed below.

WHO?

High Pockets

The Iron Horse

Goose

Little Poison

Three Fingered

Gabby

Bucky

Rube

The Trojan

Lippy

⚾⚾⚾

Answers
George Kelly, Lou Gehrig, Leon Goslin, Lloyd James Warner, Mordecai Peter Brown, Charles Leo Hartnett, Stanley Raymond Harris, George Edward Waddell, John Joseph Evers, and Leo Durocher.

🧢🧢🧢

TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT – I HAD 4 CORRECT

(GO PIRATES)

08/26/2025 “POLITICAL LANGUAGE”   Leave a comment

Now that 47 has begun his presidency the media and its leftwing troops have been forced to fill the airways with a few new and stupid additions to the English language. Fake News, Unalive, and Lib-tards to name a few. The new-but-old standbys will once again be introduced by the lib-tards such as Nazis, Dictator, and King. Everyone is well aware of the phrase (Fake News) especially in the US and the UK. The UK citizens are being fed a constant stream of BS by the government and the BBC and if they dare to complain they’re sure to be arrested by the Thought Police. It’s a bitch living in a country that has no First Amendment but instead they sill have their effing Monarchy (Too Bad, So Sad):

In the original draft of the Bill of Rights, what is now the First

Amendment occupied third place. The first two articles were

not ratified by the states, so the article on disestablishment

and FREE SPEECH ended up being first.

I could list more but what’s the point. The words are meaningless for the most part and are only used by politicians who’ve have lost their party and their minds. I’ll be listing a few words in todays post that aren’t commonly known but maybe the lib-tards can adopt a few of them for their “speechifying” (a shout out for Mark Twain who used that word often).

  • ROWELL: the revolving star on the back of a cowboys spurs.
  • COLUMELLA: the bottom part of the nose that separates the nostrils.
  • NITTLES: the punctuation marks used to denote swear words in comic books.
  • OBDERMITION: when an arm or a leg “goes to sleep” as a result of numbness caused by pressure on a nerve.
  • FERRULE: the metal band on the top of the pencil that hold the eraser in place.

  • ARMSATE: the hole in a shirt or a sweater through which you put your hand and arm.
  • RASCETA: the creases on the inside of your wrist.
  • OPHYRON: the space between your eyebrows
  • PURLICUE: the space between the extended thumb and index finger.
  • KEEPER: the loop on a belt that holds the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.

😡😡😡

YOU CAN’T BLAME THESE ON 47(UNLESS YOU’RE A LIB-TARD)

08/23/2025 💥💥SILLY LIMERICK ALERT💥💥   Leave a comment

As most of you are well aware, I love limericks. And I don’t discriminate, I like them dirty, sexy, sassy, and any other way you can think of. With that in mind I recently discovered a book, a very small little book of limericks that were written more than 25 years ago. They’re not dirty, sexy, or sassy, but they are cute. These are silly limericks that will make you grin just a little and were almost certainly written for children. So if your let loose your inner child for just a bit you should enjoy these immensely.

💥

A ghost in the town of Khartoum
Asked a skeleton up to his room.
They spent the whole night
In the eeriest fight
As to who should be frightened of whom.

💥💥

A glutton who lived on the Rhine
When asked what time he would dine,
Replied, “At eleven,
Four, six, three and seven,
And eight and a quarter to nine.”

💥💥💥

A cheerful old bear at the zoo
Could always find something to do.
When it bored him to go
On a walk to and fro,
He reversed it, and walks fro and to.

💥💥💥💥

There was an old fellow named Green
Who grew so abnormally lean,
And flat, and compressed,
His back touched his chest,
And sideways he couldn’t be seen.

💥💥💥💥💥

There was the man from the city
Who met what he thought was a kitty.
He gave it a pat
And said, “Nice little cat.”
Just look at him now – what a pity!

****

ONE OF MY FAVORITE SILLY LIMERICKS

There once was an old man from Nantucket

Who kept all his cash in a bucket.

But his daughter named Nan,

Ran away with a man,

And as for the bucket, Nantucket!

😍😍😍

08/21/2025 “A TRIVIA MISH MOSH”   Leave a comment

This blog is titled Every Useless Thing and I’m feeling today that you all must certainly need a huge dose of useless information. Just when I thought I’ve heard the weirdest s**t possible I just keep finding more and more and more. After all the years of my doing trivia it still amazes me how often I find things that boggle my mind. Let’s see if that will happen to you today.

  • The waist produced by a single chicken in its lifetime could supply enough electricity to run a 100 watt bulb for five hours.
  • The odds of being struck by lightning are one in 10 million.
  • Murphy’s Law: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”
  • In 1992 convicted killer Robert Alton Harris stated just before entering the gas chamber: “You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.”
  • The highest score ever achieved for one word in a Scrabble competition was 392 for the word caziques down two triple-word scores.

  • Mike Love, Pancho Villa, and Zsa Zsa Gabor were each married nine times.
  • Groucho Marx ate his first bagel at the age of 81..
  • Harrison Ford’s first film role was as a bellboy and his only line was “Paging Mr. Ellis”. Ellis was played by James Coburn.
  • Click Eastwood, Yasser Arafat, Elizabeth Taylor, Patrick Swayze, Sting, Luciana Pavarotti, Rowan Atkinson, and Ted Kennedy all survived plane crashes.
  • The odds of being killed in a road accident are one in 15,800.

🎶🎵🎶

One of My Favorite Bands

The rock group 3 Dog Night obtained their name from an old Australian saying. “On a freezing night in the outback, a man would need to sleep with one dog to keep warm on a cold night, two dogs on a very cold night and three dogs on the coldest night.”

NOW YOU KNOW

08/19/2025 🏈SPORTS TRIVIA – PRO LEVEL🏈   Leave a comment

Now that the NFL preseason has kicked off, I can once again turn into the fanatical Steeler fan that tends to irritate everyone in Maine or New England. I’m not as rabid as some fans but I am criminally loyal to the Pittsburgh Steelers. I swore when the season started this year I was never going to be a Steeler fan again because of their lousy record in actually playing football in playoff games.

Sorry, but I once again lied. I’ve now decided to include the Tampa Buccaneers as my backup team if the Steelers suck again this year. I’ve always been a Baker Mayfield fan and I would love to see him in the Superbowl if the Steelers don’t or can’t make it. And one additional comment: Tell T.J. Watt to get with the program. Doesn’t he realize by now he’s letting his ego send a wrong message to the fan base (my personal opinion). He sounds a little whiny for the big bruiser that he is. Also, his post seasons are nothing to brag about either.

Today’s post is a trivia quiz on sports for those crazy-ass sports fanatics that are waiting to show me how good they are. We shall see. As always the answers are at the bottom.

  1. Where did the territorial-capture board game Go originate, 4000 years ago?
  2. During a serve in American racquetball, what is the first surface the ball must hit after the racket?
  3. How many unique numbers are used in Sudoku?
  4. When did Ralph Samuelson invent waterskiing?
  5. What is the minimum number of moves needed to achieve checkmate in chess?
  6. Which of these sports is not represented in the Olympics? Basketball, Cricket, Dressage, or Handball
  7. Sam Roth hit the fastest tennis serve ever recorded in 2012. How fast was it?
  8. Who holds the record for most points (100) in a single NBA game?
  9. Who invented the game of Scrabble
  10. When Bingo started sometime around 1929, what was it called?
1896

🏅🏅🏅🏅

Answers
China, The front wall, 9, 1922, 2, Cricket, 163 mi./h, Wilt Chamberlain, Alfred Mosher Butts, Beano.

I SCORED “6”