Archive for the ‘Journal’ Category
No, I’m not celebrating computer Spam, that would be stupid. I’m celebrating my all time favorite meat product much loved and much hated around the world. I began my love affair with SPAM while in the service of our great country. The Army introduced me to discipline, mean DI’s (drill instructors ), forced marches, and much, much, more including SPAM. My love for SPAM was one of the only things I left the Army with except for a bag of really ugly olive green clothing.
Many people, my better-half included, hate SPAM. I’ve never understood why because it’s freaking delicious. Since this blog is dedicated to all categories of trivia I thought it only fair you learn something about SPAM today on it’s birthday. I collected a great deal of information from around the Net and elsewhere on this subject and here it is.
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George A. Hormel & Co introduces SPAM on this date in 1891 although it wasn’t marketed until 1937.
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During WW II, Hormel sold more than half of its output to the U.S. government, which supplied SPAM to the armed forces of the U.S., and also to the U.S.S.R. under the lend-lease program.
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A convenient source of protein that required no refrigeration, 100 million pounds of SPAM were shipped to Allied troops during World War II. Russian president Nikita Khrushchev is quoted as saying, “Without SPAM, we wouldn’t have been able to feed our army.”
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No one outside the company really understands what the name SPAM represents. While people have posited “Something Posing As Meat” and “Specially Processed Artificial Meat,” the title is likely derived from the words “spiced ham” or an acronym for “Shoulders of Pork And Ham.”
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To distinguish Hormel’s "spiced ham" from similar products, the company held a contest to come up with a unique name. Kenneth Daigneau, brother of a Hormel executive, won the $100 prize with ‘SPAM.’
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Hormel produces 44,000 cans of SPAM every single hour. If that sounds like a lot, consider the facts that the canned good is available in 41 countries and comes in 14 varieties. Despite what critics may say, the world loves “Swine Parts and More!”
‘SPAM Sir-fry’
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The 1 billionth can of SPAM was sold in 1959.
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The 6 billionth can was produced in 2002.
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The 7 billionth can was sold in 2007.
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In 2012 SPAM was being sold in more the 44 countries.
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Hawaii ranks highest amongst the states in SPAM consumption, downing seven million cans a year. Found in grocery stores, on the McDonald’s menu, and featured at high-end restaurants, Spam should probably be added to the state flag.
‘SPAM & French Fries Casserole’
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Richard LeFevre holds the world record for eating SPAM by eating 6 pounds in 12 minutes.
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In the United States alone, 3.6 cans of SPAM are consumed every second, making it the number one product in its category (canned meat) by far.
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On the island of Guam, more than eight cans of SPAM are consumed by every person each year.
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West Yellowstone sponsors the ‘SPAM Cup’ cross country ski race, with the winner receiving one can of SPAM.
‘SPAM Sushi’
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In addition to the U.S., spam is produced in 7 other countries: Australia, Denmark, UK, Japan, Philippines, South Korea and Taiwan. SPAM is distributed in more than 50 countries.
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The SPAMJAM Cafe opened in February 2004 in the Philippines. Except for hot dogs, French fries and desserts, all other menu items are made with SPAM, including SPAM Burger, SPAM Hero, SPAM Club, SPAM Spaghetti, SPAM Baked Macaroni, SPAM Nuggets and SPAM Caesar Salad.
‘Only True SPAM Lover’s Can Pull These Off’
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SPAM even has a mascot — Spammy, the miniature pig. In 1991, for its 100th anniversary, Hormel Foods opened the First Century Museum. The exhibit of SPAM memorabilia quickly became the most popular.
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SPAM has earned a place in pop culture history partially thanks to the Brits. The canned creation made its television debut on "Monty Python’s Flying Circus" in 1970.
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A collector’s edition SPAM — Stinky French Garlic — was introduced to celebrate the opening of "SPAM lot" in London. Not shockingly, the stinky SPAM tasted far better than anything else in the culinary-challenged country.
So there you have it. Everything you ever needed to know about SPAM but were afraid to ask. I love it so much I always have at least one can hidden away in the house. Once my better-half goes to work I’ll get it out and prepare any one of a dozen recipes I love. My all time favorite is my version of SPAM Fried Rice and it’s to die for.
MORE SPAM . . . MORE SPAM . . . MORE SPAM
It’s been a week of good weather except for yesterday. The rain forced me inside to take care of something I’ve been procrastinating about. As I’ve mentioned previously I am in the process of making a batch of Sake. I began the process on March 18 and it’s been fermenting since then. The point was to let the yeast settle to the bottom of the containers once fermentation was complete and then I could siphon off the clear liquid. Unfortunately this batch decided not to clear and remained very cloudy. I decided to resort to an old stand-bye to clear it . . . it’s called Sparkloid.
Sparkloid is a very fine clay that is mixed with water and boiled for thirty minutes. As it boils off you continue to add additional water. After 30 minutes the mixture is added to the wine and thoroughly mixed in. If it works as expected the wine will begin to clear over a period of days. This first photo was taken just after the Sparkloid was added.
As you can see the wine is very cloudy. Normally Sake is as clear as water but due to minerals in our water here in Maine it will eventually be a pale yellow color. This next photo was taken 24 hours after the first.
It has cleared somewhat but will still need more time. If nothing else winemaking has taught me more than I care to know about patience. This next photo was taken 24 hours after the last.
I can only guess that another week will probable finish the clearing. I can then bottle the wine and place it into storage. These jugs will eventually supply me with approximately 17 – 750ml bottles or 34 – 375ml bottles. Believe it or not it actually tastes pretty good already (I just had to sneak a taste.). It can only get even better with age.
The garden preparation continues and more plants have been purchased today. The next posting will be made after my initial planting has been completed. I can’t wait to get started.
BACK TO WORK
I hate missing a scheduled posting but it happened this week for the first time in almost a year. The weather turned bright, sunny, and beautiful and I got swept away with garden preparations and grass cutting. By the time I was finished it was much too late in the day to sit down and post something. I’ve been waiting five long months for these first spring days and I enjoyed the hell out of them.
Along with all that enjoyment came the inevitable aches and pains. The morning-after reminded me just how many muscles I have in places I’d forgotten about . . . and they weren’t happy. Oh so sore.
My better-half and I spent some time and money this week visiting a number of local nurseries and were able to purchase almost everything we needed for the initial plantings. We bought, cucumbers, zucchini’s, various hot pepper plants, pea pods, spinach, cherry tomatoes, and even some early kale plants. Add to that a few dozen marigolds for a little color and we’re ready to start planting next week. We also picked up quite an assortment of herbs to replace plants lost over the winter and a number of new ones as well.
I even got a little carried away and started transplanting a few things from the flower garden to a more prominent position near the driveway. It was a backbreaker trying to get this bush moved but it appears to have survived the trauma and is doing well.
‘Before’
‘After’
We’ve filled our cold frames with plants and they’ll remain there until I’m sure the weather will remain warmer and no frost in the forecasts. Regardless everything should be planted on or about Memorial Day. Then it’ll be time to relax and let Mother Nature do what she does best.
These few photos are the first of many I’ll be posting this summer. We should have a really productive garden which will hopefully fill our pantry shelves for next winter.
I NEED TO ORDER MORE BEN-GAY!
Even though the nights remain cool it would appear that Mother Nature is beginning to cooperate. The hard frosts have stopped and the temperatures have been well above freezing at night. It’s time to get busy planting a few items that aren’t effected as much by the cooler temperatures. As you can see here the rhubarb could care less about the weather. It’s up and going strong.
With that in mind I purchased two more small rhubarb plants to fill in the frame a little. You just can’t have enough rhubarb because regardless of what you use it for . . . it’s delicious.
The herb garden is coming along nicely but I lost a few plants over the winter. I’m not sure why but two of them had been around for years and I hated to see them go. Nothing I can do but replace them.
These items were planted next. Three parsley plants, three lavenders, and two spinach.
As you look at the photo’s you can see chives growing damn near everywhere. Regardless of the weather you can’t seem to slow them down much. We’ll have bushels to harvest once again this year.
It just felt so good to be digging around in the dirt for a few minutes. Next week I’ll be heading to our local nursery to pick up some lettuces and any thing else that catches my eye. I try to be guided by what the nurseryman advises when it comes to early plantings. I’ve paid a serious price in years past by not listening to him. The hot peppers and tomatoes will have to wait a few more weeks when the danger of frost is completely gone.
THE FUN HAS BEGUN
I’m lying in bed this morning going through my normal morning ritual. What better way to start your day than enjoying a couple of episodes of The Soprano’s. I’m watching the scene where they buried Tony’s mother with all of the family smoking dope and snorting cocaine. Not really much like my own family (Thank God) but it’s still fun to watch.
I’m moving a little slower than usual due in part to our Cinco De Mayo celebration last night. We wanted to avoid the crowds as much as possible so we made an earlier than usual appearance at out favorite Mexican establishment, Casa Fiesta. I decided a margarita was in order so I ordered the biggest one I could find. Here it is in all it’s glory. It was one delicious drink but the three episodes of brain-freeze I could have done without.
‘It was just as big as it looks.’
The better-half was in her glory as well when she discovered they had Pacifico beer on-tap. That’s as happy as I’ve seen her since the start of our current weight loss program. I had a sampler platter with all of the Mexican specialties we’ve come to know and love. The food was great and the habanero Verde sauce was delicious and brutally hot.
‘Delicious, with third degree burns of the tongue.’
We left with habanero on our breath and a distinct glow from the margaritas and Pacifico beers. All in all a rather enjoyable night. Maybe next year will be able to celebrate a little more boisterously with some of our friends.
As I prepare for the exit of Barack Obama as President my mind naturally turns to politics. I’m not going to get into the expected arguments concerning the current roster of candidates because it’s pointless. People make up their own minds and then spend all of their leisure time trying to convince everyone else to vote like they do because they’re smarter than everyone else. It’s those kinds of discussions I don’t want taking place on this blog.
I honestly don’t care a wit for who any of you may vote for. Just like I won’t tell you what I’m going to do. If I agree with your selection I’m smart and intelligent and if I don’t then I’m a dumb ass without a clue about politics. It’s a lose . . . lose for me and not worth my time.
As much as I dislike politics and politicians I still love trivia. So I’ll delve into my archives to find a few interesting political tidbits from past Presidents and presidencies. Here they are.
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Herbert Hoover was the only president to turn over 40 years of his government paychecks to charity.
A $5.7 million dollar renovation of the White House during the Truman administration was caused when the leg of Margaret Truman’s piano broke through the floor of v\her sitting room into the room below.
President Lyndon Johnson and his wife named their dogs Him & Her. Franklin D. Roosevelt and his wife named their pistols His & Hers.
Camp David located in the Catoctin Mountains was originally named Shangri- La before renaming by FDR.
James Madison, the fourth President was 5’4” tall and never weighed more than 100 pounds.
George Washington’s second inaugural address was the shortest in history. It contained only 135 words.
William Howard Taft had a bathtub installed in the White House large enough to hold four men. He weighed in at the time at 325 pounds.
During his 12 years as President FDR used his veto powers 635 times.
Alexander Hamilton is credited with writing George Washington’s famous Farewell Address.
The average age that Presidents have taken office is 54.
First Lady Barbara Bush’s great-great-great uncle was President Franklin Pierce.
FDR was the only President who never used the word “I” in his inaugural speech.
The nickname of the first Presidential plane (a C-45 piloted by Major Henry T. Myers in 1944) was the, ”Sacred Cow”.
John Tyler was the only President to serve as a member of of the Congress of the Confederate States.
John Quincy Adams was the first President to wear long pants rather than knee breeches to his inauguration in 1825.
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I think that’s about enough politics for me today. Anymore and I’ll become nauseous and violently ill.
Now that I have grandchildren running through the house occasionally I’ve been forced to curb my use of all cusswords. I’ve always loved cursing and swearing but stopping cold-turkey has been tough. I have no doubt they’ll be picking up a few dozen new cuss words at home and especially at daycare. We can only hope they don’t pick up too many of the really good ones for a while yet.
I decided to do a little research into cussing as it applies to what will be their daily lives soon enough. Before I do that I thought I’d give you a short history lesson too. Here’s a few retro cusswords from back in the good old days.
Old School Cussing
Heavens to Betsy
Jumpin’ Jahosafat
Yikes
Gadzooks
Holy cow
Sugar
Dagnabit
flippin’
Geez Louise
Jeez oh man,
Fudge
Eat it … RAW
Hell’s bells
Oh Shoot
Great Caesar’s Ghost
Jiminy Cricket
Holy Mary-Mother of God
They sound so lame to us now but back in the day they got the job done with us kids. My Mom knew all of these and a few more modern words as well. Now lets take a look at cusswords in use in the USA today. Some fool took the time to do a study to determine what states used certain cusswords the most. Here are the results.
Asshole – New England, Nevada, Oregon, Utah, Arizona
Bitch – Texas through the Carolinas – Along the coast.
Darn – Most of the Great Plains states.
Shit – Texas to Delaware along the coast.
Fuck – All coastal states, East, West, and South.
Motherfucker – Southwestern states and Maine’s
Before too long our grandchildren will on the Web and getting introduced to Facebook and Twitter and all of the associated idiots who roam there. Here is some information and usage on both of those sites.
Twitter
Detailed work by researchers at Wright State University in Ohio has found that 34.7% of all the swearwords in their sample of 51m tweets were "fuck" or one of its long list of cognates.
In comparison, the second and third most popular swearwords – "shit" and "ass" – accounted for 15.0% and 14.5% respectively, while other highlights included "bitch" (10.3%), "hell" (4.5%), "whore" (1.8%), "dick" (1.7%), "piss" (1.5%) and "pussy" (1.2%). Between them, the top seven make up 90.6% of all the swearing on Twitter.
Facebook
Someday, when aliens are sifting through Facebook data to find out what 21st-century humans thought and cared about, they’re going to see a lot of shit. That’s the most popular swear word on Facebook, according to an analysis by Slate. In the three-day period queried, shit appeared in 10.5 million U.S. Facebook interactions, fuck in 9.5 million, damn in 6.3 million, bitch in 4.5 million, and crap in 2 million.
This next section applies directly to Rap Music. It’s always been known for bad language and we find out now that criticism was totally justified. I feel bad for the fool that had to sit through this terrible music to complete this study. It must have been brutal.
Rap Music
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217.7 cuss words-per-album average.
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One song from the study had, on average, 13.76 instances of profanity.
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Too $hort’s 1985 album Raw, Uncut & X-Rated was the most profane album, clocking 49.8 curse words per song.
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The most profane artists per song were The Geto Boys, as they uttered cuss words on average 46.4 times per song. The second-most vulgar artist? Geto Boys’ Scarface, with 33.3 cuss words per song.
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Bun B’s song “Some Hoes” had the most instances of profanity in its lyrics with over 113 cuss words. The words “nigga” (51 times) and “ho” (46) make up the majority. However, the study qualifies that Lil Jon’s “Roll Call” is perhaps the most vulgar with 329 cuss words but it was not used in the study.
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The most profane year in Hip-Hop from the study was 2001 with 22.66 cuss words per song.
If both grandson’s can last more than fifteen minutes in this cuss filled society without becoming cussing experts it will be nothing short of a miracle. Since I believe that “turn-about is fair play” I’ll just wait until they start cussing on their own then I’ll step in and add a few of mine.
SHIT ! ! !
IF IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR FACEBOOK, IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
It’s April 28th and two days ago we had two inches of snow here in Maine. The temperatures remain in the twenties at night and I’m sick and tired of sleeping with an electric blanket. I actually think that April has been colder than March which is bizarre and sucky at the same time. Also that sunburn I had from a week on the deck in March has slowly faded away. I’m back to being my old self . . . pasty white . . . and that’s just sad. Enough of my weather rant, I’m boring myself.
Now for my rant of the day.
I haven’t been looking forward to today because I’m getting dragged back into civilization kicking and screaming all the way. I’m required to run errands for some dentist I’ve never visited, for an effing insurance company that I don’t like. For five years I’ve had this dental insurance but all of a sudden they’re requiring me to prove I’m in a relationship with a women that I’ve been living with for seven years. All of a sudden the "politically correct" police have found me and are making demands on me once again.
I’ve been forced recently into opening a joint savings account at my bank with my better-half, then transferring money into that account, just to prove to any concerned insurance idiots that I’m still eligible for their dental insurance. This is the same damn insurance carrier I’ve been with for five years. Nothing has changed but they still have that urge to cause me to jump through a few hoops. I’m not a happy camper right now and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. It just goes to show that getting off the grid in any fashion whatsoever is a gigantic effing NO-NO! If they can’t control you in some fashion they think they’re not doing their job.
So I’m off to my appointment with a bank finance officer who can finally convince these morons that I actually exist. Once that paperwork is forwarded to the insurance carrier and they are happy . . . TA DA . . . I’ll return to the bank immediately and close the damn account, thumb my nose to all of them, and go about what’s left of my life or until someone else gets in line to screw with me.
Just so you know, this crap will never end until you’re dead and buried. But God forbid you don’t die properly or THEY may require your family to dig you up to prove your still in the casket. Make sure your family knows to fill out the required exhumation forms in triplicate or THEY might raise their insurance rates or cancel them altogether.
LAND OF THE FREE, HOME OF THE (Politically Correct) SLAVES.
It’s another gray and rainy day here in Maine. While I dislike these kinds of days they do serve a useful purpose. They force me to stay inside out of the weather and to find other interesting things to do. One thing that remains interesting regardless of the weather is SEX. Sex is almost never boring (unless you know the girls from my high school class) who made sex not just boring but difficult to obtain. It’s with them in mind that I offer up a collection of sexual facts and trivia to amuse you. Let’s get started . . .
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The condom is said to be named after the Earl of Condom, a British physician at the court of Charles II who was asked by the king to design him something to keep him from developing syphilis. The oiled sheep intestine was a big hit.
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Humans aren’t the only species that partake in oral sex; cheetahs, hyenas, and goats all go down too.
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In 2000, the Mississippi state legislature introduced a bill to make it illegal for a male customer to have an erection at a strip club even if he is fully dressed.
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The sperm of a mouse is longer than the sperm of an elephant.
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Slang for “prostitute” in Victorian times was “blowsy” and slang for “ejaculation” was “blow,” leading to the current phrase “blow job.” In ancient Greece, a blow job was called “playing the flute.”
Oiled sheep intestines . . . YUCK. I’ll bet the donating sheep weren’t too happy either.
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Of all the primates, man has the largest penis. The gorilla has a two-inch penis, while the chimpanzee’s is three inches. The blue whale has the largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet.
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In 2003, a Texas man woke up from bladder surgery to discover that doctors had removed his penis without his permission.
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For most men, the left testicle hangs lower—but in some men, most commonly left-handed men, the right one hangs lower.
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Married people are more likely to masturbate than people living alone, according to the National Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS).
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President Lyndon B. Johnson referred to his penis as “Jumbo.”
He may have been President but even “Jumbo” Johnson can’t hold a candle to that blue whale’s eleven foot penis.
‘Head to Toe’
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Exhaustive research published by Johnson & Johnson found that the average time between penetration and male orgasm is 7.3 minutes – this involved 1,587 couples having stopwatch-timed sex.
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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
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When men of Australia’s Walibri tribe greet each other, they shake penises instead of hands.
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Upper Paleolithic art dating back 30,000 years depicts people using dildos to pleasure themselves and others. That means mankind invented sex toys long before the wheel.
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The average number of times a healthy male will ejaculate in a lifetime is 7,200. Of this number, approximately 2,000 times will result from masturbation.
Thirty thousand year old dildoes. No wonder the women of that time are pictured with huge muscular arms . . . no batteries available . . . So Sad!
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A teaspoon of semen contains 5 calories. A sperm takes one hour to swim seven inches.
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Men do not need to be sexually aroused to have an erection. Erections can occur if a man is frightened, nervous, or has a full bladder. It’s normal for a man to have several erections during the dream phrase of sleep.
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Women who went to college are more likely to enjoy receiving and giving oral sex.
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The average man has 11 erections per day and 9 erections a night.
And here’s an interesting theory on everyone’s favorite word. The big F-Bomb. It’s been around almost as long as those thirty thousand year old dildoes.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the word “fuck” is not an acronym for the phrase “Fornication Under Command of the King.” It is a very old word that is hard to trace because the editors of the initial Oxford English Dictionary considered the word taboo in 1893. It may have a Scandinavian origin, similar to the Norwegian word fukka, meaning to “copulate,” or the Swedish foka, meaning “to copulate, strike, push,” orfock, meaning “penis.”
SEX . . . YEAH !!!
I’ve been complaining for months about wanting warmer temperatures and yesterday I got my wish. We had a gorgeous day in the mid-sixties and it was sunny without a cloud in the sky. The cat and I even managed an hour on the deck to work on our tans a bit. It was incredible.
How do you end the perfect day? Always a good question I suppose. After my better-half arrived home from work we discussed just that. It was the perfect night for a bonfire to start our Spring and Summer seasons off properly. Before dark I spent a few minutes preparing.
A bonfire while being really great also gives me a chance to rid myself of wood scraps collected during the winter months in my workshop and from the garden repairs and upgrades. The wood was cut and we were ready to go. Next I built the fire and lit it up.
The darker it got the better it became. We sat quietly enjoying the warm night and the good company. The sky was showing some light from Portland a few miles away which offered up a photo or two work keeping.
As we fed the fire it became really cozy and intimate. No vehicles noises, no kids playing and screaming, just peace and quiet.
The smell of burning firewood took us both back to past years around similar fires with family and friends who are no longer with us. The heat of the fire on my face was just the best. After a few hours we shuffled off to bed feeling good about each other and life in general. We left the fire with some regret.
SPRING HAS OFFICIALLY ARRIVED
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