Archive for the ‘Just Saying’ Category

01-22-2013   2 comments

You all know I just love pointing out the many useless national observances that our society is inundated with.  Today is January 22, 2013 and this is the day of remembrance set aside for the observance of the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973.

I’m not here to take a political position because no one would listen to me anyway.  I’m just pointing out the ridiculousness of having a day to remember some thing like this.  Without picking sides I will reveal that in my youth I was responsible for the abortion of two of my almost children.  I was all for it at the time but it’s haunted me for more than forty-five years.  So to make your celebration of this day “all it can be”, here are a few real facts you might be interested in learning directly from a pro-abortion organization.

Many of the statistics in this posting are taken from the Guttmacher Institute, the research arm of Planned Parenthood, the largest abortion provider in the U.S.  The Guttmacher Institute has been compiling data on abortion since 1968.  Since they favor abortion, the data they provide will have more credibility to those who are pro-choice than data from a pro-life source.

Over 53 Million abortions Since Roe v. Wade.

This means that every 26 seconds a preborn baby dies in America.

About 1 in 4 (23%) of all pregnancies in the United States end in abortion.

It is estimated that 43% of all women will have at least 1 abortion before they are 45 years old.

Every year, there are approximately 42 million abortions per year worldwide

The World Health Organization estimates that every day 150,000 abortions are carried out worldwide.

This means a full 20% of human lives are ended by abortion.

Read more: Abortion Facts – Abortion Facts http://www.whyprolife.com/abortion-facts/#ixzz2IjrQqO82

Source: Johnston, Wm. Robert. Historical Abortion Statistics, United States. http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/policy/abortion/ab-unitedstates.html. 

If your pro-abortion and reading this pisses you off, you should understand something right now, I don’t care.  Opinions are like assholes and everybody’s got one and this is my blog and it contains MY asshole opinions. Please don’t write to me with YOUR asshole opinions because they will go unpublished. 

01-21-2013   Leave a comment

In the past I’ve complained about certain things in New England that bother me and I’m going to do it all over again today. There are times when I’m just plain embarrassed to be living in Maine.  I was born and raised in the mill towns and bars of western Pennsylvania where the people take great pride in themselves in almost everything they do.  They love their Steelers, their Pirates, and their down-to-earth common sense approach to all things.  I’m most proud of a dying “art form” superbly represented by the people there, world class cussing.  It’s learned at an early age but takes many years of practice to really do it justice.

At age three I was sitting on a street corner in Natrona, Pa. with my grandfather and his buddies who paid me nickels and pennies to repeat cuss words.  I don’t specifically remember those days but I’ve been told by numerous people over the years who remember them all too well.  If by chance I uttered the occasional F-Bomb, I’d get a quarter and possibly an ice  cream cone.  So you have to admit I come by cussing honestly, it’s a family tradition.

Off course we all were raised as Steelers fans and if you didn’t curse loudly and often enough while watching their games then you were a goddamn traitor. You’d better be ready to voice your support for those Steelers loud and long as they kicked the shit out of those pussies from Cleveland and those cocksuckers from Texas. It takes a special knack to string numerous cuss words together for maximum effect and we have it.

Western Pennsylvania isn’t known for ethnic diversity but it should be. We lived in menagerie of Irish, Polish, Slovaks, Blacks, Italians, Asians, and the occasional Hispanic.  To be a professional cusser in our neighborhood you had to learn cuss words from at least six languages just to be properly understood.  We were all well on our way to being linguists of a sort in grade-school.  We were the fucking UN of goddamn cusswords and proud of it. 

I’ve lived in Maine now for more than ten years and I have to say that the cussing here is a little more laid back than I’m used to.  A little too polite and prissy for a boy from fucking Pennsylvania.  I actually look forward to trips back home where I can walk into a bar after twenty-five years in New England and have someone say, “Hey who let that motherfucker with the weird accent in here and is he buying the next goddamn round?”.  It’s just not the same here in Maine.  Two F-bombs in one sentence seems to be too much for Maine sensibilities. I think it’s the wrong headed French influences emanating from our neighbor to the north.  Well hell, if they don’t fucking like my style of cussing they can kiss my big fucking ass.

Just saying. 

Posted January 22, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Just Saying

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01-20-2013   2 comments

I’ve always been highly skeptical about statistics and how the numbers are so easily manipulated to suit whatever parameters the publisher of them desires.  So I sit here today in January enjoying a little Sunday quiet time catching up on my reading.  I purchased a book recently that uses the term “Number Freaking”.  I love the term and as I began to scan through the book I knew almost immediately this book would forever remain in my personal library.  It’s funny in part but also not so funny because it verifies most of my fears about statistics.  Crunch the numbers until they say what you want them to say.  Ask any politician.

I really don’t want to go negative today.  I think we all need a good laugh when we can get one and I’ll supply you with one free of charge this morning.  The following statistics are humorous and as always here on this blog, gender neutral. I’ve listed one for the ladies and a second one for the men.

In 1988 Paul L. Jamison and Paul H. Gebhard published an analysis in the Journal for Sex Research of the data collected by Kinsey on penis size. Here is some  good or bad news depending on who you are.  These numbers are averages measured in  inches.

Flaccid Length – 3.89

Flaccid circumference – 3.75

Erect Length – 6.21

Erect Circumference – 4.85

Erectile increase in length – 2.30

Erectile increase in circumference (girth) – 1.11Average erectile angle – 15 degrees above the horizon

Average erect diameter – 1.24

Average time to achieve an erection – 3-8 seconds

Women in Kinsey’s studies also stated that on average they took just under four minutes to achieve orgasm while masturbating.  With a partner it took them between ten and twenty minutes.

How are you guys measuring up so far?  Some good, some bad, and some OMG, “Help me Lord”.  Now to the next step. These are stats on length of erection by age and minutes.

16-20 – 12.00

21-25 – 42.88

26-30 – 53.09

31-35 – 47.24

36-40 – 40.62

41-45 – 31.07

46-50 – 29.02

51-55 – 21.62

56-60 – 26.67

61-65 – 19.50

66-70 – 07.00

71-?? – 00.00

While these stats are averages, I might  have to take some issue with them but really, what do I know? These are the facts man!   Let’s move on to more statistics which may be of interest to the men out there.

The concentration of human sperm has fallen 29% recently,  from 87 million in a milliliter to just over 62 million. Twenty million sperm a milliliter is the lower limit of normal. At orgasm  a man produces around 250 million sperm.

The Penguin Atlas of Human Sexual Behavior claims intercourse takes place, worldwide, 120 million times per day. Assuming an average of one male per coupling and one orgasm per male, the men are producing 300 million billion or 30 quadrillion sperm a day.  That would come to (no pun please, this is serious stuff) 90, 000 sperm per minute, or 130 million sperm a day.

Man, that’s a whole lot of sperm.  I’m sure these stats are telling us all a few useless bits of information we didn’t know before but so what.  As I said at the start you can make of them what you will.  Just another pile of useless information from the blog that’s full of it.

Have a wonderful sperm filled day.

01-18-2013   Leave a comment

Finally a day without snow or sleet or rain.  I really wish good old Mother Nature could make up her mind on these things.  Maine has always been known for unpredictable weather but in recent years it’s been a little stranger than normal.  The snow has finally stopped, the sun is shining, and the temperature has dropped into the teens. A perfect winter day for taking photographs and walking in the woods.

I loaded my snow shoes and camera into the car and away I went.  I did a two mile walk through the woods along the Scarborough Marsh.  It’s an eleven hundred acre marsh bordering on the ocean and it’s surrounded by woods and a large variety of wildlife.  Today the wildlife was scarce because of the deep snow but there were still plenty of tracks of many of the smaller animals who don’t weigh enough to sink into the snow.

I was able to take quite a few photos and I think some of them are really decent. Unfortunately it was cold enough that my camera became a little sluggish and I was forced to keep it inside my clothing to keep it warm and operational.  The wind chill is around eight degrees but the good thing is a hard crust is forming on the snow. By tomorrow I won’t be needing any clunky snowshoes to get around.

I did find a few of the stupider ducks who must have forgotten to go south for the winter.  There were about twenty of them huddled along the shore in the freezing water having a meeting to elect a new navigator.  The one they have must be a moron.

I did catch a quick look at my nemeses, the big fat barn owl I’ve been trying to get photos of forever.  He’s always around but never sitting still or close enough for me to a good shot.  I keep telling myself, be patient, and I’ve been telling myself that for almost two years.  He’s either extremely lucky or just a lot smarter than I am.

The cold finally began getting to me and I retreated back to my car.  It just felt so damn good to get out into the woods without worrying about hunters mistaking me for a cow or some other animal.  I did see quite a few deer tracks but noting fresh. I’d love nothing better than a nice clear picture on a nice clear day of a deer standing alone in the snow.  I’m sure to see a few before the winter ends and hopefully I’ll get lucky soon.  Who knows.

I’m back home now and thawing out a little. I need to take a quick shower and then answer a few emails before dinner.  My better-half’s been craving chicken wings for days and she’d better be using my wing sauce in her preparations or there’ll be hell to pay.

All in all a pretty good day.  I got out of the house for a few hours, walked in the woods, got some fresh air, and took a nice collection of photos.  I’ll take this kind of day any time.

Posted January 19, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Just Saying

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01-16-2013   2 comments

I’m beginning to think I’m becoming less tolerant these days.  I’ve always been opinionated but lately it’s taken an ugly turn.  Many people have constantly bitched and complained about the younger generations and their misuse of the English language but I think we should all be bitching and complaining about those complainers.  I’m more pissed off and annoyed with the young adults and grownups who, trying to be cool, pickup a  lot of this annoying slang.  Kids will be kids but adults are supposed to set the example for them.  Now it’s the kids setting something less than a good example for the adults.

I thought I’d compile a list of the things I hear every day when I’m out and about mixing and mingling with the great unwashed.  The more I hear the more annoyed I get. I had to stop listening because my list was getting way too long. This list is definitely not in the order of annoyance.

“You know what I’m say’in?” –  I could just scream every time I effing hear this.  And you never hear it just once, it’s used over and over again in the same conversation.

“It’s literally a thousand degrees outside.”  – This annoying adult slang.  People don’t know what’s literal and what’s figurative.  College education be damned.

“24/7/365”  – I just hate this.

“Whatever”  – Just say what your thinking, say F-You!

“Like”  – "So I was, like, going to the store and, like, this guy stops me and, like, starts talking to me in, like, french."

“Whassssup?”  – Morons, idiots, and Hip Hop

“Dis”  – Do you realize how many people in this country have been killed or beaten because of this word?

“No way!  WAY!!” – Thanks to the movie Clueless for this nonsense.

“Just Saying” – Just freaking stupid.  I actually caught myself starting to use this and I’m so ashamed.

"My Bad!" – Anyone using this needs a foot buried deep in their ass.

”Sick (meaning cool)”  – This is just sick, I think.

 

WORDS THAT ANNOY

"Snap"

"Tool”

"Awesome"

"Totally"

“Dude (when talking to a woman)”

“Trippin”

“OMG & LOL”

My better-half’s like, you know, whatever and I’m like, no way and she’s like, way! This posting is like, you know, OMG.  Have a sick and awesome day.  Just Saying!

Here’s an up and coming favorite in use by many of our nine to eleven year olds": 

CHILLAXIN

You heard it here first.

Posted January 17, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Just Saying

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01-15-2013   Leave a comment

This morning is for recreation and not creation for at  least a few hours.  The better-half is long gone to work, the cat’s been fed, and the coffee fresh.  I think a short trip to Middle Earth is necessary before I continue what should be a rather busy day. 

42” of X-box is the only proper way to kick start a day and I’m loving it.  This new Lego Lord of the Rings is a hoot and it appears that it will take a great deal of time to master.  I’m at 23% completion and I’ve been working it at it off and on for a couple of weeks already.  Hours and hours of continuous fun ahead for me.

Late morning has pulled me back into the kitchen where I’m beginning the process of making my special spicy pasta sauce.  My hands smell of onion and are burning like fire from the jalapenos (forgot my gloves).  Did most of the prep work last night so it’s all about the cooking and canning today.  I’ve got to get back to it right now before things overcook.

La-Dee-Da (Time passing)

Well its two hours later and I’m putting the finishing touches to things.  I just finished canning seventeen pints of some really tasty meatless sauce.  I went easy on the heat for this batch since many of the people who will be receiving it aren’t crazy about really hot food.  I held back one quart jar that we’ll be using for dinner later today.  I can’t wait.  The one downside to all of this is the cleanup which seems to take twice as long as the preparation. It’s a big, gigantic, huge, pain in the ass.

Tweedle-Dee-Dee

Just finished a rather enjoyable meal of miniature cheese raviolis covered with my delicious sauce.  I’m not really bragging but it was one helluva good vegetarian dish.  We’ve been trying a little harder to cut down the amount  of meat we consume but don’t worry, I’ll never quit completely.  I’m a big believer in eating a little of everything but a not lot of any one thing. It’s all about portions and quality for us now.  It’s one of the reasons I enjoy making my own food, I know exactly what’s in it.  No added sugars or preservatives just great flavors. 

Our hobby has expanded to include the making of sauces, relishes, jams, canned pickles and veggie mixes, and spicy green beans (all from the garden).  Both my better-half and I make our own versions of home-made wine, flavored vinegars, and a habanero cooking wine that is to die for.  Besides being a little healthier for us both it’s also great fun.   

Well back to the cleanup. I want to be finished before my better-half gets home.

Posted January 16, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Cooking, Just Saying

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01-13-2013   Leave a comment

Another quiet day spent in the kitchen attempting to duplicate something I’ve been paying a high price for on the net.  I use a great deal of red-savina habanero paste when making many of my dishes but in recent months the price of the paste has sky rocketed.  After a little thought I decided to try and make my own version.   Normally this paste when purchased is superhot and it was crucial that I get as much heat as possible in my recipe as well as a decent flavor.

Off to Wholefoods, a place I normally won’t shop because of their inflated prices.  I’m forced into it today because none of the local markets carry quantities of fresh habaneros.  I purchased 1.5 pounds of habaneros and an additional pound of Serrano peppers.  So far so good.  I must warn you in advance if you’d like to try this, WEAR THICK LATEX GLOVES. The next step involved cleaning, seeding, and dicing all of the peppers.  Take your time and be sure to get them finely diced, then placed into a sealed container and refrigerated overnight. I like to give them a chance to mingle their flavors.

The next day I placed the diced peppers into a large blender, added 3 tbsp. of my home made Jalapeno vinegar (standard white vinegar works too), and three heaping tablespoons of ground red pepper.  Set it on liquefy for approximately ten minutes.  You’ll end up with about 16 oz. of extremely hot paste which can be used to add serious heat to any meal. I’ve experimented for years and have a good idea how much to use.  Experimentation is a must your first time if you don’t want to burn your lips off.

I bottled the paste into two 8 oz. bottles  which should last at least six months in the fridge.  I’ll be making a meatless pasta sauce tomorrow and I’ll be using my newly created pepper paste.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Now for you Baby Boomers out there.  I didn’t forget about the Boomer Test answers I promised earlier so here they are.  If you’re proud of your score comment back and let me know how you did.

Below are the correct answers:

1.    B – Bounty

2.    D – Wonder Bread 

3.    D – Cassius Clay 

4.    B – Crest

5.    B – He Is us 

6.    A – Good night, Chet 

7.   D – When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent 

8.   C – Maynard G. Krebs

9.   C – Almond Joy & Mounds

10. C – Pants on fire

11. D – The American Way 

12. B – It’s Howdy Doody Time 

13. D – Oh my 

14. B – Chiffon Margarine

15. C – Over 30 

16. B – Joe Namath 

17. D – A little dab’ll do ya 

18. D- Wendy’s

19. D – On Blueberry Hill 

20. A – Mary Martin 

21. D – John, Paul, George, Ringo 

22. B – Who wrote the book of Love 

23. B – Cause I eats me spinach 

24. C – Smile, you’re on Candid Camera 

25. D – Melt in your mouth not in your hand

01-12-2013   2 comments

While shopping in a local supermarket a week ago I was standing in line at the check out and listened to two store employees discussing the company and the general lack of a  ‘work ethic’ by the younger associates.  I was a bit taken aback hearing it loudly discussed where it could be heard by many nearby customers.  ‘Work ethic’ is obviously not the companies only issues along with a lack of company pride, morale, and loyalty.

I understand that loyalty to any company is almost impossible to create in today’s retail atmosphere but that doesn’t make it any less important.  Also, the basics of success never change.  Word hard, be on time, play well with others, and speak well of your company (even if you don’t mean it). That’s a “politically correct” basic law of employment these days and unless you realize it your screwed.  They’ll be plenty of time after you retire, get laid off, or fired for you to make your opinions heard.  ‘Work ethic’ is something you hopefully learn from your role models as you grow up and then pass along to your children.

I’ve always had an excellent ‘work ethic’ which was taught to me by my father. He was a man who I always considered to be a force of nature.  He was big, strong, and opinionated and never feared to speak his mind to anyone about anything.  Both sides of my family tree were blue collar immigrants to the US who settled in western Pennsylvania to work in the coal mines, steel mills, glass plants, and farms.  I watched them march off to the mines and mills every day at 5:00 am and return home filthy and exhausted at 6:00 pm or later.  Family was everything  then  and caring for them was every adult’s priority.

I was about seven when my father’s union went on strike.  He didn’t receive unemployment insurance just a small stipend from the union’s strike fund.  The strike was mean and nasty and seemed to go on forever.  My dad was forced to find a part-time job to bring in enough money for the basics.  There was at that time a government “surplus food program” but that only supplied us with ten pounds of processed cheese every couple of weeks, a box of powdered milk, and containers of my all-time favorite, powdered eggs.  We survived on that awful stuff because we had no choice. To this day I still crave that damn processed cheddar cheese.

My dad found his part-time job delivering coal.  This was back in the day when almost every household heated their homes with coal. He would arrive at the mine at 5:30 am, pick up a dump truck and a load of coal and begin his daily deliveries.  He worked between ten and twelve hours a day to make on a good day fifteen dollars.  He would arrive at the client’s home, remove sections of a metal chute from the truck, clip them together to reach the coal chute going into the house. He would then tip the truck bed up and push the coal down the chute and into the residence.  He collected the money from the homeowner and proceeded on to the next house.  At the end of the day he turned in the money at the mine and went home.

I was about seven years old and I wanted to spend time with my dad and to help him.  So I bugged him to death to take me to work with him and he finally agreed. So about twice a week I would ride along to help my dad (I wasn’t much help) deliver coal throughout the neighboring communities. He did all the work and I tried to help. We’d get home late, filthy dirty from the coal dust and hungry enough to even eat those crappy powered eggs. 

I saw what hard work really was watching my dad.  He never complained (around us kids) and always did what was needed to take care of his family. He returned to work after the strike without bitching or complaining and never looked back. He worked for that same employer for another thirty five years moving his way up the food chain from laborer to running the Maintenance Department for the entire factory.  He eventually took his well deserved pension, retired, and lived out the remainder of his life a reasonably happy person.

Those memories are what created in me a good solid “work ethic”.  It made me something of an over-achiever and that stayed with me throughout my own career  until my retirement a few years ago.  Everyone should be so lucky to have role models like mine.  I never heard the term ‘work ethic’ used until I was in the work force as an adult. It’s something I never really thought much about because it was ingrained in me at such a early age.

I’m not here to complain about todays younger generations who have an entirely new list of issues to deal with.  I know I’m glad I’m not their age and just starting out.  That doesn’t change the fact that the basic approach for success remains the same, generation to generation.   Life and work are never going to be easy and they shouldn’t be.  If you become successful through your own hard work and effort and it’s too easy, you never properly appreciate it. 

Just my humble opinion.

01-10-2013   2 comments

Here are the statistics folks, 4100 pages and 199 Chapters. This marks the finish of my Harry Potter reading extravaganza.  I couldn’t put the last book down and finished reading it at 3:00 this morning (OMG).  I’m so glad I made the journey through those books because it offered me a much richer story and well defined characters that the movies ever could or did.  If you’re an avid reader I’d recommend reading the story from start to finish to anyone.  Rowling made a boat load of money from her efforts with Harry Potter and in my humble opinion she deserved every bit of it.  It’s time to move along to the next reading challenge and to leave Harry and his friends behind. Hopefully I’ll figure out what that challenge will be very soon.

In my travels yesterday I stopped at a local Starbucks in an attempt to give them one last try to wow me with their over priced products.  As you can tell I’m not a fan but I’m willing to spend my hard earned money in an attempt to find something they sell that is worth the price they’re charging.  I’d like nothing better than to have a second option for coffee buying besides Dunkin Donuts.

I recently saw a television ad where Starbucks was pushing a new product, Vanilla Blond Roast.  They indicated in the ad that it’s for people who desire a milder version of their overpriced regular coffees.  Being the nice guy that I am I walked up to the counter and ordered a “Grande” (that a medium for everyone else on the planet) Vanilla Blond coffee.  It was freaking awful. I gagged down a couple of swallows and delivered the remainder directly into a nearby trashcan.  I must say that I really had low expectations to begin with and they didn’t even exceed those.  As I said so many times in the past, “Starbucks Sucks”.  The only good thing I’ve gotten from Starbucks in recent months was a few free apps for my IPad. In the future I’ll just walk to the register, take the weekly free app card, smile at the barista (just so you know, that’s a cashier), and walk away.  I’ll then jump in my car and make my way to DD for a real cup of coffee at half the price.  Just saying!

I’ll leave you today with a joke I heard recently.  Everyone needs a laugh or two especially at the expense of the King Obama. Enjoy!

Obama was leaving the country club golf course when he was accosted by an armed robber who demanded, "Give me all of your money!"

Barack haughtily replied, "Do you know who I am. I’m the President of the United States!"

The robber snarled back, "Then give me all my money."

I knew it, it made you smile too!

Posted January 11, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Just Saying

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01-07-2013   4 comments

Well, my day in the kitchen is over and I’m sitting here labeling approximately 12 quarts of my new salsa recipe.  After all of the adjustments were made to the recipe it turned out much better than I anticipated.  After it cooled I was able to sample it with some nice and crispy yellow corn chips. I have a grading scale I use when making salsa and I rated this one a 4.  That’s means after eating four teaspoons of the salsa the back of my head begins to sweat.  This stuff is smoking hot and at the same time filled with great flavor.

I’m sending a pint of the finished product to work with my better-half tomorrow. I often use her fellow employees to test and taste my cooking efforts and their feedback is usually pretty accurate. It really helps me in refining my recipes. This batch is officially called Roasted Corn w/Black Bean & Currants. In another few months the flavor and heat should improve dramatically after sitting in the jar and make for a really great addition to any of my better-half’s Mexican food meals.  Mission accomplished.

Now that my cooking job is over I can return to my Harry Potter reading assignment. I finished book #6 late last night and it was the absolute best one so far.  I’m already one chapter into #7 and it looks like it will be even better than the last.  What a pleasant surprise.  I’m going to be very sad to see this story end because after seven books the characters are becoming like old friends. Another series for my eclectic book collection. I suppose I’ll be up late reading again tonight and hopefully get a decent nights sleep after that.

The weather here in Maine is very cold with approximately one and a half feet of snow still on the ground.  I’d love to get into the woods but I’m waiting for a warmer day (around 30 degrees) before venturing out.  I’m a fanatic about getting great Winter pictures but I’m not crazy.  Patience is supposed to be a virtue so I’ll remain virtuous for a few more days.

Posted January 8, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Cooking, Just Saying

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