Just another cold and crappy day in Maine and if you want live here you’d better learn to love this insane winter weather. I seem to run a bit slower when it’s cold and nasty and my desire to post long and involved articles has disappeared. Today will be another “mish/mosh” of interesting and sometimes strange facts you may not be familiar with. Here we go . . . .
The continent with the highest literacy rate is Antarctica.
The country of Saudi Arabia really does import a better quality sand to make glass.
The Smithsonian archives allegedly hold a jar containing a rubber mold of John Dillinger’s penis.
The United States bought Alaska from Russia for a price that equated to under two cents per acre.
Soviet scientists once tried to create a human/chimpanzee hybrid. It failed.
Confederate general Robert E. Lee didn’t own slaves, but Union general Ulysses S. Grant did.
People in the Roman Empire actually used human urine as mouthwash.
Adolph Hitler had a nephew, William Hitler, AKA William Stuart-Houston, who served in the U.S Navy during the war.
The kazoo was invented by a gentleman named Alabama Vest.
During WW1 Americans referred to sauerkraut as “liberty cabbage”.
❤️MY FAV❤️
The male Argonaut Octopus mates by detaching it’s sex organ and flinging it towards the female.
We’re three days into the new year which naturally demands a fresh batch of cute and bawdy limericks. These might be considered unacceptable for the younger children so DON’T LET THEM READ THEM. I’d rate them as “PG”, so consider yourself warned. Here we go . . .
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There was a young sailor named Bates
Who did the fandango on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
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I lost my arm in the army,
I lost my leg in the navy,
I lost my balls
Over Niagra Falls,
And I lost my cock in a lady.
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A lady both athletic and handsome
Got wedged in her bedrooms transom.
When she offered much gold
For release, she was told
That the view was worth more than the ransom.
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There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you’d probably think –
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.
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And here’s a fav from a long-term recovering Catholic.
Now that Christmas has come and gone once again, things can get back to abnormal. The holidays are always stressful no matter how well you prepare and I discovered early in life that bringing a group of family members together is fraught with danger and the likelihood of old personality disputes’ becoming a real possibility. Fortunately this year we successfully avoided that sort of nonsense. My better-half and I are now kicking back and trying to relax a little as I’m sure you are as well. Todays post is just what this blog is all about – EVERYUSELESSTHING. This is an easy way for me to relax, collect my thoughts, and continue on to the next holiday, on that never-ending list of #@%!*% holidays. Welcome to my post-Christmas MISH/MOSH.
Former Beatles drummer, Ringo Starr, was the original narrator of the children’s television show, Thomas the Tank Engine.
During mating season, lions can have sex dozens of time every day. (I’m so jealous.)
Beavers’ butts taste like vanilla, “Kinda sorta”, since their anal glands secret a substance used in the manufacture of artificial vanilla flavorings. (Yum!)
An ostrich can easily kick a human to death.
Catherine the Great had an entire room in her palace that contained erotic furniture emblazoned with penises and vaginas. (My queen!)
The lighter was invented before the match. It was created in 1823 and called Dobereiner’s Lamp. Friction matches were not invented until 1826.
When you perform an action, neurons fire in your brain. Those same neurons fire when you’re watching someone perform the same action.
The Heimlich Maneuver wasn’t invented until the 1970’s. Henry Heimlich published the first paper on it in 1974.
Phobophobia is suffered by a person who is afraid of fear.
Pope Gregory IX once declared black cats to be the incarnation of Satan resulting in the killing of an unknown number of cats. Unfortunately they weren’t available to then help control the rat population which may have contributed to the spread of the Black Death. (Religious zealot: My opinion)
I’ve always been a huge fan of westerns especially those starring John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. The western genre has also been exported to the entire planet making it possible to see many fans wearing boots and cowboy hats even in Japan. We’re in the final days leading up to the holiday and what better way to relax from all of the Christmas insanity, than to take a short mental trip to the Old West by way of limericks. These should be considered “PG”. Enjoy . . . Partner!
Here are a few random trivia facts to start off your weekend.
The Bryan Adams” famous song “Summer of 69” is named after the sex act, not the year.
The very first television commercial was for watches and aired in 1941.
Actor Jim Caviezel was struck by lightning while portraying Jesus in the movie Passion of the Christ.
The word “Fuck” was once said 935 times in a movie: Swearnet, The Movie.
Steven Spielberg submitted the movie, Schindler’s List as his final project for film school.
President John Adams had a dog named Satan.
It has been estimated that in1939, the first televised football was watched by approximately 1,000 viewers.
The objects humans have sent to space include pictures of human sex organs, sea urchin sperm, a pizza, the remains of the man who discovered Pluto, and Elon Musk’s Tesla car.
When a worker bee mates with the queen his penis explodes.
The capital of Nevada is actually west of Los Angeles.
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And here’s one that hits close to home.
Marijuana and the hops in beer come from the same plant family.
I’ve been posting quite a few quizzes in recent months with some truly difficult answers. Todays quiz is a general knowledge quiz from the 1960’s and the answers should be somewhat easier to remember unless you were a teenager during that time. Drugs will do that to anyone’s memory. As always the answers will be listed below.
Which Academy-Award winning film about two misfits was originally rated X?
What Nobel Prize winning author shot himself to death in 1961?
What animal did the Yippies run for president in 1968?
What disastrous military maneuver did the US back in 1961?
What was the center piece of the Seattle World Fair?
TWIGGY
What London street rose to prominence in the fashion conscious 60’s?
Which member of the Kennedy family survived the crash of a small plane?
What was the better-known name of the decades most famous model, Lesley Hornby?
What was the fourth nation to detonate a nuclear bomb?
Complete this anti-war chant, Hell, no . . .”
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🥎My Required Baseball Item🥎
Name the two Yankee baseball players who chased Babe Ruth’s homerun record in 1961?
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Answers
Midnight Cowboy, Ernest Hemingway, A Pig, The Bay of Pigs invasion, The Space Needle, Carnaby, Ted Kennedy, Twiggy, China, . . . we won’t go!, Roger Maris & Mickey Mantle.
Once reported from the Danbury, Connecticut Mall:Santa Claus advised that a woman who sat on his lap had been more naughty than nice. She had openly groped him after waiting patiently in line. Police reported that “A security officer did notified them that Santa had been sexually assaulted.” The 33 year old suspect in question was charged with sexual assault and breach of the peace. She was released on her own recognizance and promised to appear in court in January.
(Sounds like “lump of coal” time to me.)
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Now, here’s a short list of the many and varied ways you can say Merry Christmas around the world. It may not interest some of you and that’s okay, enjoy them anyway.
Glaedelig Jul – Danish
Vrolijike Kerst – Dutch
Hyvvaa Joulua – Finnish
Kala Christouyenna – Greek
Gledileg Jol – Icelandic
Buon Natale – Italian
God Jul – Norwegian
Feliz Natal – Portuguese
God Jul – Swedish
Iyi Noeller – Turkish
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There’s always room for more Christmas trivia. It’s a good thing to learn and understand just how this holiday has developed and been interpreted around the world for so many different cultures.
Christmas Eve in Japan is a good day to eat fried chicken and strawberry shortcake.
Michigan has no official state song, but one, ‘Michigan, My Michigan,’ is frequently used. The words were written in 1863, and the melody used is that of the Christmas song “O Tannenbaum”.
Electric Christmas lights were first used in 1854.
America’s official national Christmas tree is located in King’s Canyon National Park in California. The tree, a giant sequoia called the “General Grant Tree”, is over 90 meters (300 feet) high, and was made the official Christmas tree in 1925.
The first department store to feature a visit with Santa was the J. W. Parkinson’s store in Philadelphia in 1841. Astonishingly, no other department stores copied this event until 1890 when a store in Boston repeated it. Before long lines of children formed at stores across America to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him their Christmas wish list. The department store Santa has been immortalized in films such as Miracle on 34th Street and Christmas Story.
“Jingle Bells” was originally written for a Thanksgiving celebration, in 1857.
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WHO DOESN’T LUV THE X-MAS CAT?
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Well, there you have it. Another short collection of useless Christmas trivia to help you get holly and jolly before the big day gets here.
I guess I’m feeling a slight tingle of Christmas spirit this week. Being filled with the spirit tends to make me feel a little lazy. So, after my third, forth, and fifth rum soaked eggnogs I decided to dive into some of my older archives for a few Christmas inspired limericks. Here goes nothing . . .
With the holiday season in full swing I thought I should offer up some of my own holiday-spirit poetry original written in the 1920’s and 1930’s. A few off-color rhymes to help celebrate this holiest of seasons (sarcasm off) in my own special way. These should be rated “PG” so keep the kids away if you can.
1927
There was a young lady named Maud A terrible society fraud. In company, I’m told She was awfully cold. But if you got her alone, Oh My God!
1939
There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning to screw, but he hadn’t the knack, And he got too far back In the right church, but the wrong pew.
1938
There was a young man of high station Who was found by a pious relation Making love in a ditch To – I won’t say a bitch – But a woman of no reputation.
1940
In the shade of the old apple tree Where between her fat legs I could see A little brown spot With the hair in a knot, And it certainly looked good to me.
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And here’s my favorite, a salute from my birth year (1946) to all my Texas readers.
I thought I’d been fairly consistent in blogging quizzes from almost all of the decades. A few readers (mostly Millennials) claim that I’m biased towards the 90’s because I’m just an out-of-touch “Old Fart”. Well, this old fart will properly respond to those critics (young wise asses) with the first of many 90’s related quizzes. Let’s see just how smart they really are. Here are ten questions that will test these so-called critics and their vast (imagined) knowledge of damn near everything. As always the answers are listed below.
Who succeeded North Korean leader Kim Ill-sung after his death in 1994?
Who is the author of the dystopian novel The Giver?
Which late-night talk-show host was formerly a writer on the Simpsons?
Which push-up bra became famous in the 90s?
What ancient wind instrument featured in the title of the Legend of Zelda Game released in 1998?
What Formula One motor racing resulted in the tragic deaths of Ayrton Senna and Roland Ratzenberger
Name the 1999 film of the real-life story of Brandon Tenna, for which lead actress Hillary Swank was awarded the Best Actress Academy Award?
What’s spinning dolls were recalled after the manufacturer received more than 100 complaints of injuries?
What was the name of the Spice Girls third and final album?
What classic work of literature is Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones Diary roughly based on?
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One of My Fav’s
For how many days were Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman married?
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Answers
His son Kim Jong-Il, Lois Lowery, Conan O’Brien, The Wonder Bra, Ocarina, 1994 San Merino Grande Prix, Boys Don’t Cry, Sky Dancers, Forever, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, Nine (Lucky Dennis)
everyuselessthing.com 