Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

02/14/2026 💥LIMERICK HISTORY CONCLUSION💥   Leave a comment

It’s time to end this series of posts about limericks. It’s been fun writing and researching all of these older limericks and I’ll continue to do so with periodic posts of this type. I became enamored with limericks as a ten year old boy listening at the door of a card game while my father and his friends were playing poker. One of them recited the following limerick and I’ve never forgotten it. It imbodies everything I like in poetry. It’s both a little funny and a little bawdy. Enjoy. . .

☘️

There was a man from Cass

Whose balls were made of brass.

During inclement weather he’d rub them together

And lightning would shoot out of his ass.

☘️☘️

If you aren’t smiling at that one then limericks aren’t for you. Over the years I’ve written many myself and upset both friends and family because I lean to the bawdy side of things. The following ditty was written by me just a few days ago and it reminded just how much fun it is to create one. Here it is . . .

There once was an old man from Maine.

Whose obsession with limericks became

an excuse for the use of words like f**k it,

And he never ever visited Nantucket.

❤️❤️❤️

I HOPE YOU’VE ENJOYED THE SERIES

02/12/2026 💥ISAAC ASIMOV-LIMERICK ALERT💥   Leave a comment

Isaac Asimov (1920-1992)

I’ve always been a huge fan of Asimov even before I learned he was a proficient writer of limericks. I’ve been reading his novels for many years and have always considered him to be fellow lover of science fiction. After reading some of his limericks I discovered his relationship with John Ciardi and their famous limerick wars. For those of you not familiar with Azimov and his works I’d recommend you read his greatest work, The Foundation Series. I love reading long and involved stories and I’d put Asimov right up there with J.R.R Tolkien and J. K Rowling. Here’s a few samples of his well constructed limericks.

☘️

When alone, a young woman named Julia

Had qualities quite peculiar.

And when men were about

(short, tall, lean, or stout)

Her conduct was even unrulier,

☘️☘️

To moralists, sex is a sin,

Yet Nature suggests we begin.

She arranged it, no doubt,

That a fellow juts out

In the place where a damsel juts in.

☘️☘️☘️

There was once a great knight named Sir Lancelot

Who placed Queen Guinevere in a trance a lot.

But what bothered the King

Was: he managed the thing

By serenely removing his pants a lot.

☘️☘️☘️☘️

Sex need not be conversational.

Without talking it’s still inspirational,

But mind you’re not burned

For many have learned

The act can be baby-creational.

❤️❤️❤️

IN TWO DAYS -CONCLUSION OF THE LIMERICK SERIES

02/10/2026 💥JOHN CIARDI-LIMERICK ALERT💥   Leave a comment

John Ciardi (1916-1986)

While primarily known as a poet and translator of Dante’s Divine Comedy, he also wrote several volumes of children’s poetry and contributed to the Saturday Review as a columnist and long-time poetry editor. I could continue with all of his accomplishments but they are endless. In 1981 he co-authored a book, LIMERICKS, with his friend Isaac Asimov. It was called a “War of Words (limericks)” and makes for a great read. Two utterly famous men who absolutely loved writing limericks just for fun.

☘️

“What a silly” I said. That’s no sea –

“It’s a sink!” – “A sink it may be,

But I’d sooner I think

Bed at sea in the sink

Than sink in the sea, sir,” said he.

☘️☘️

There was young man from Montrose

Who said to a girl, “I propose

That since time is short

For affairs of this sort

We begin by removing our clothes.”

☘️☘️☘️

There was a young lady named Wright

Who simply could not sleep at night

Because of the ping-

Ping-ping of her spring

And the glare of her little red light.

☘️☘️☘️☘️

Our neighborhood whore is no beauty.

But we’re not the sort to be snooty.

We favor a lass

With a good country ass

And a proper devotion to duty.

❤️❤️❤️

ISAAC ASIMOV IN TWO DAYS

02/05/2026 💥EDWARD LEAR-LIMERICK ALERT💥   Leave a comment

I’d like to introduce to you Mr. Edward Lear. He was a prolific writer of hundreds of limericks in the early days. They are much milder in content than what we are currently seeing. Enjoy!

Edward Lear (1812-1888)

☘️

There was an old man, who when little

Fell casually into a kettle;

But, growing too stout,

He could never get out,

So he passed all his life in that kettle.

☘️☘️

There was an old lady whose chin

Resembled the head of a pin;

So she had it made sharp,

And purchased a harp,

And played several tunes with her chin.

☘️☘️☘️

There was once an old lady whose folly

Induced her to sit in a holly;

Whereon by a thorn,

Her dress being torn,

She quickly became melancholy.

☘️☘️☘️☘️

There was an old man in a tree,

Who was horribly bored by a bee;

When they said, “Does it buzz?”

He replied, “Yes, it does!

It’s a regular brute of a bee!”

❤️❤️❤️

DAVID MCCORD IN TWO DAYS

02/03/2026 💥💥LIMERICK HISTORY ALERT💥💥   Leave a comment

I pride myself on having a huge and varied collection of limericks as you well know. Most of them are very old with the identity of the writers long forgotten. For the next two weeks I’ll be highlighting some of the more famous limerick writers with samples of their work. Most were well known poets, writers, and authors. Some of their limericks will be off-color and a bit sexual so I recommend that younger children be monitored. Over the next two weeks you’ll be introduced to some of histories best limerick authors. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

The first thing I’d like to do is give you a short history lesson on limericks because they’ve been around a lot longer than you might think. The first known limericks appeared in the early 18th century and they just happened to be written in French (and they weren’t called limericks then). Around that same time the Irish Brigade was serving in France (1691 to 1780). The short poems were eventually imported to Limerick, Ireland where their current name originated. Edward Lear 1812-1888, initially wrote many rather mild limericks. It wasn’t until the Victorian Era that the citizenry seized upon the limerick as a way to vent as many four-letter words as possible, much to the delight of young schoolboys. It seems that the bawdiest limericks of that time tended to be written by the British. A few samples of Lear’s tamer limericks will be featured in my next post in two days.

Here is a sample a moderately bawdy limerick of the era:

💥💥❤️💥💥

Said a widow whose singular vice

Was to keep her dead husband on ice,

“It’s been hard since I lost him.

I’ll never defrost him,

Cold comfort, but cheap at the price.”

❤️❤️❤️

My next post will be an introduction to Edward Lear who authored many limericks over many years.

❤️❤️❤️

MORE TO COME

01/22/2026 📖WEIRD BOOK TITLES📖   Leave a comment

As some of you will remember, I search constantly to find and purchase old books. I recently received one of the strangest books I’ve ever seen. The book is titled BIZARRE BOOKS – A COMPENDIUM OF CLASSIC ODDITIES. As we all know almost anyone can write a book. Some become famous and sell millions of copies but then there are these others. This book is a collection of nothing but book titles going back hundreds of years and to say some are strange is an understatement as you will see. I’ll be posting on more of these titles in the future after I finish reading the book. Todays topic concerns 15 book titles containing blatant Double Entendre. Here goes northing . . .

Games You Can Play With Your Pussy -1985

Miss Rod. The Girls Own Book – 1934

Queer Shipmates – 1962

Old Dykes I Have Known – 1996

Invisible Dick – 1926

Girls Who Did – 1927

Cock Tugs – 1963

Big Dick, the King of the Negroes – 1846

Memorable Balls – 1954

Drummer Dick’s Discharge – 1902

Cock Angel – 1928

Cobbler’s Knob – 1958

Fairies on the Doorstep – 1948

Joyful Lays – 1886

The Big Book of Busts – 1994

❤️❤️❤️

SPECIAL THANKS TO RUSSELL ASH & BRIAN LAKE

(Just weird motivation to write your own book.)

01/10/2026 MISH-MOSH   Leave a comment

Just another cold and crappy day in Maine and if you want live here you’d better learn to love this insane winter weather. I seem to run a bit slower when it’s cold and nasty and my desire to post long and involved articles has disappeared. Today will be another “mish/mosh” of interesting and sometimes strange facts you may not be familiar with. Here we go . . . .

  • The continent with the highest literacy rate is Antarctica.
  • The country of Saudi Arabia really does import a better quality sand to make glass.
  • The Smithsonian archives allegedly hold a jar containing a rubber mold of John Dillinger’s penis.
  • The United States bought Alaska from Russia for a price that equated to under two cents per acre.
  • Soviet scientists once tried to create a human/chimpanzee hybrid. It failed.

  • Confederate general Robert E. Lee didn’t own slaves, but Union general Ulysses S. Grant did.
  • People in the Roman Empire actually used human urine as mouthwash.
  • Adolph Hitler had a nephew, William Hitler, AKA William Stuart-Houston, who served in the U.S Navy during the war.
  • The kazoo was invented by a gentleman named Alabama Vest.
  • During WW1 Americans referred to sauerkraut as “liberty cabbage”.

❤️MY FAV❤️

The male Argonaut Octopus mates by detaching it’s sex organ and flinging it towards the female.

(Very interesting & more than a little scary.)

01/03/2026 💥2026 1ST LIMERICK ALERT💥   Leave a comment

We’re three days into the new year which naturally demands a fresh batch of cute and bawdy limericks. These might be considered unacceptable for the younger children so DON’T LET THEM READ THEM. I’d rate them as “PG”, so consider yourself warned. Here we go . . .

💥

There was a young sailor named Bates

Who did the fandango on skates.

He fell on his cutlass

Which rendered him nutless

And practically useless on dates.

💥💥

I lost my arm in the army,

I lost my leg in the navy,

I lost my balls

Over Niagra Falls,

And I lost my cock in a lady.

💥💥💥

A lady both athletic and handsome

Got wedged in her bedrooms transom.

When she offered much gold

For release, she was told

That the view was worth more than the ransom.

💥💥💥💥

There was a young maid from Madras

Who had a magnificent ass;

Not rounded and pink,

As you’d probably think –

It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.

💥💥✝️💥💥

And here’s a fav from a long-term recovering Catholic.

❤️❤️❤️

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,

Complacently stroking his madam,

And loud was his mirth

For on all of the earth

There were only two balls – and he had’em.

❤️❤️❤️

HAPPY NEW YEAR

12/27/2025 “MISH/MOSH”   Leave a comment

Now that Christmas has come and gone once again, things can get back to abnormal. The holidays are always stressful no matter how well you prepare and I discovered early in life that bringing a group of family members together is fraught with danger and the likelihood of old personality disputes’ becoming a real possibility. Fortunately this year we successfully avoided that sort of nonsense. My better-half and I are now kicking back and trying to relax a little as I’m sure you are as well. Todays post is just what this blog is all about – EVERYUSELESSTHING. This is an easy way for me to relax, collect my thoughts, and continue on to the next holiday, on that never-ending list of #@%!*% holidays. Welcome to my post-Christmas MISH/MOSH.

  • Former Beatles drummer, Ringo Starr, was the original narrator of the children’s television show, Thomas the Tank Engine.
  • During mating season, lions can have sex dozens of time every day. (I’m so jealous.)
  • Beavers’ butts taste like vanilla, “Kinda sorta”, since their anal glands secret a substance used in the manufacture of artificial vanilla flavorings. (Yum!)
  • An ostrich can easily kick a human to death.
  • Catherine the Great had an entire room in her palace that contained erotic furniture emblazoned with penises and vaginas. (My queen!)

  • The lighter was invented before the match. It was created in 1823 and called Dobereiner’s Lamp. Friction matches were not invented until 1826.
  • When you perform an action, neurons fire in your brain. Those same neurons fire when you’re watching someone perform the same action.
  • The Heimlich Maneuver wasn’t invented until the 1970’s. Henry Heimlich published the first paper on it in 1974.
  • Phobophobia is suffered by a person who is afraid of fear.
  • Pope Gregory IX once declared black cats to be the incarnation of Satan resulting in the killing of an unknown number of cats. Unfortunately they weren’t available to then help control the rat population which may have contributed to the spread of the Black Death. (Religious zealot: My opinion)

❤️❤️❤️

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION REVIEW COMING SOON

12/23/2025 💥💥Old West Limerick Alert💥💥💥   Leave a comment

I’ve always been a huge fan of westerns especially those starring John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. The western genre has also been exported to the entire planet making it possible to see many fans wearing boots and cowboy hats even in Japan. We’re in the final days leading up to the holiday and what better way to relax from all of the Christmas insanity, than to take a short mental trip to the Old West by way of limericks. These should be considered “PG”. Enjoy . . . Partner!

💥

While awaiting the Sioux to disband,

Colonel Custer took matters in hand.

Despite his dejection

He achieved an erection.

That was almost Custer’s Last Stand.

💥💥

A virgin who came from Durango

Always diddled herself with a mango.

“It’s delightful,” she said,

“To lie on the bed,

And put it where I won’t let a man go.”

💥💥💥

The explorers Lewis and Clark

Found their expedition something of a lark,

For Sacagawea,

Let both of them lay’er

That discovery they kept in the dark.

💥💥💥💥

The caldrons of Yellowstone Park

Are no place to have sex in the dark.

A young ranger tried –

Now his balls look deep-fried

And his prick like a stick sans its bark.

❤️❤️❤️

ONLY TWO SHOPPING DAYS LEFT