Archive for the ‘trivia’ Tag

09/09/2022 “CLASSIFIED ADS”   Leave a comment

I decided to dig into the archives for a few of my favorite classified adds from a number of sources. How many of these would motivate you to call?

  • Free puppies . . . part German Shepherd/part dog.
  • Cows, calves never bred . . . also one gay bull for sale.
  • Full sized mattress: 20 year warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell.
  • Free, one can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 bedroom, 2 bath home.
  • Get a Little John. The Traveling Urinal – holds two and half beers.

  • Free: farm kittens. Ready to eat.
  • American Flag – 60 stars – pole included – $100.00.
  • Our sofa seats the whole mob – and it’s made of 100% Italian leather.
  • Open House – Body Shapers Toning Salon – Free Coffee and Donuts.
  • Dinner Special – Turkey $2.35, Chicken or Beef $2.25, Children $2.00.

As I’ve heard it said so many times in the past: “You just can’t make this shit up!” After reading through Craig’s List, it wasn’t much better there. Yikes!

GIANT A-HOLE FOR SALE . . . CALL THE WHITE HOUSE ASAP

09/08/2022 “Odd Facts”   Leave a comment

I had so much fun yesterday I thought I’d continue with more interesting but totally useless information. Enjoy.

  • The worlds largest pancake was cooked in England measuring 15 meters in diameter, weighed 3 tons, and contained approximately 2 million calories.
  • “Lucifer” is Latin for “light-bringer”.
  • One twenty-fifth of the energy released by an incandescent light bulb is light. The rest is heat.
  • A “rusticle” is a rust formation similar to an icicle. It occurs under water when wrought iron rusts, as on shipwrecks.
  • One ton of iron will produce a ton and a half of rust.

  • The fly of a pair of jeans is the fold of cloth over the zipper, not the zipper itself.
  • Twinkies are 68% air and 32% Twinkie stuff, which means you can pack three Twinkies in the same space taken up by only one.
  • Throughout it’s lifetime, an elephant goes through six sets of teeth. The elephant starves to death once the sixth set of teeth falls out.
  • The Spanish exclamation “Ole!” commonly heard at bullfights and flamenco dances, comes from Allah, meaning “Praise be to God”.
  • The average lifespan of an NHL hockey puck is 7 minutes. Those that don’t fly into the stands are removed because they warm up from friction and bounce on the ice. Game pucks are chilled to -10 degrees Fahrenheit for maximum performance. They are kept in a freezer in the penalty box.

BE HAPPY, IT’S ALMOST FRIDAY

09/077/2022 Trivial Trivia   Leave a comment

Today’s a good day for miscellaneous nonsense. A few odd and weird truths that you may not have heard before.

  • An average McDonald’s Big Mac bun has 178 sesame seeds.
  • The “spa” dates back almost 2000 years to when Roman soldiers, marching home from battle, stopped overnight in a Belgian village that had hot mineral springs. The town name “Spa”,became a popular resting spot for Roman soldiers returning from battle.
  • John Lennon was the first person to be featured on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.
  • Manhattan is about half the size of Disney World.
  • A caterpillar has nearly 5 to 6 times as many muscles in his body as a human.
  • Domino’s has marketed a reindeer sausage pizza in Iceland.
  • An average office chair moves a total of roughly 8 miles over the course of the year.

  • Princess Diana appeared on the cover of People magazine more than 50 times.
  • The chili and the frijole are the official vegetables of the state of New Mexico.
  • Blondes typically have more individual hairs on their heads than brunettes. Redheads have the fewest of the three.
  • The launch of the shuttle Discovery was once delayed after woodpeckers pecked holes in the spacecraft’s foam insulation. Decoy plastic owls, purchased at Walmart, deterred the woodpeckers and solved the problem.
  • Tickets to the very first Super Bowl sold for $12 – and that was for the most expensive seat.

ENJOY HUMP DAY

09/06/2022 “John Ciardi”   2 comments

I’m always good for more limericks and today’s offering is from one of my favs, John Ciardi. I’ve been a huge fan of his limericks since reading the book he shared with Issac Azimov. Two crazy smart limerick aficionados.

For a friend . . .

In a lane, a young fellow named Cooper

Committed a terrible blooper.

He had his girl bare those with more

In his car, unaware

Of a vigilant nearby state trooper.

*****

A carefree young woman named Nola

At one time in a summer pergola

Took care of three men

Again and again

And did it on just Coca-Cola.

*****

A little adultery spices

Our lives, but just look at those prices!

If they charge all that dough,

Man can’t buy it, you know,

And there’ll be a frustrational crisis.

*****

The Times tells the world what is doing;

Who’s winning, who’s losing, who’s suing,

Whose striking, who’s stealing,

Who’s dying, whose healing,

But won’t say a word on who’s screwing.

*****

LIMERICKS RULE!

08/31/2022 💥Limericks by Kids💥   Leave a comment

As much as I love bawdy limericks, I also love those written by the kids for other kids. And it’s also nice to know that another generation of limerick lovers and writers are waiting in the wings.

Amanda Chew – Age 13

There is a math teacher called Rundle

Who ties up his books in a bundle.

It’s too heavy he feels,

So, he puts it on wheels.

Now Rundle can trundle his bundle!

😊😊😊

Raymond Coleman – Age 11

There was a young lad called Davy

Who hated the food in the Navy.

He couldn’t have beef

In case his false teeth

Would drop out and fall in the gravy.

😜😜😜

Mark Rothery – Age 8

A certain young goalie named Finn

Lost count of the goals he let in.

When his coach bawled “Eight!”

He replied, quite sedate:

“Then we only need nine goals to win!”

😄😄😄

Rebecca Telford – Age 7

There was a brown dog named Spot

Who tied up his tail with a knot,

To remember his bone

Which he left back at home

When he sometimes went out for a trot.

😏😏😏

GIVE A HAND TO THESE FUTURE POETS

08/30/2022 Salt & War   Leave a comment

Yesterday as I was creating my lunch, I threw in a healthy dash of soy sauce. It’s my only way of eating salt without totally violating my doctors’ orders. In my humble opinion food has very little taste without it. Try eating popcorn or corn on the cob without salt. Ridiculous!!!! Since it sends my blood pressure through the roof, I’m forced to obey but not entirely. Rather than continuing to drone on about my salt issues here are a few facts about salt (trivia wise).

  • Each year, 9,000,000 tons of salt, more than 10% of all the salt produced in the world, is applied to American highways for road deicing. The cost of buying and applying the salt adds up to $200 million dollars.
  • Salt helped build the Erie Canal. A tax of 12 1/2% on New York State salt, plus tolls charged for salt shipments, paid for nearly half of the $7 million dollar construction costs.
  • There is a salt mine in the Polish town of Wieliczka, near Kraków, that has been in operation for nearly 1000 years.

Enough about salt, I just threw in a few tidbits for the fun of it. Let’s try something else like military history. It was in the Army that I was first forced to eat salt tablets. Talk about mixed messages. Good for me then, not so much now.

  • The British and French armies in World War I did not advance more than 3 miles at any point on the western front in the whole year of 1915. Those three miles costed the French army alone nearly 1.5 million men.
  • The Japanese kamikaze pilots of World War II were given privileged treatment and considered to be heroes. All volunteers, they underwent rigorous training that prepared them for their suicide missions. If they refused to stay in the corps, they were shot as traitors.
  • The Crusaders were able to conquer Acre, a coastal city 80 miles north of Jerusalem, in July 1191, only after 100,000 men on both sides had been killed.
  • Through the six-year war of independence ranged enraged over most of the 13 colonies, George Washington’s Continental Army never consisted of more than 22,000 troops at any one time.
  • On the eve of World War II, the US Army ranked, with reserves counted, 19th among the world’s armed forces. This placed the United States after Portugal but ahead of Bulgaria.

Let’s enjoy our last few weeks of summer. Things here in Maine can finally return to normal after the tourists begin leaving after Labor Day. People have been telling me that we’re in for a difficult winter. I really don’t mind all that much because I hate hot weather. I’ve made the statement many times that if “climate change” continues to make things warmer in Maine, I’ll be moving to northern Canada to live in an igloo. LOL

CHASTITY IS CURABLE IF DETECTED EARLY

08/29/2022 SILLINESS   Leave a comment

I’m feeling a little silly today and I’m not entirely sure why. A good night’s sleep, some weird dreams, and a great cup of coffee. and “Ta Da”, here I am! I’ll start today with some true silliness. As I was surfing around yesterday, I stumbled upon a website called unijoke.com and it had a collection of jokes about “Little Johnny”. I’ve loved those jokes for many years, and I found one on that site that made me laugh out loud. That’s my criteria for determining funny. Here it is . . .

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch I can find with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day”. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie? ” The teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s bitch.”

Almost everyone loves Rock-and-Roll music except maybe for those Country & Western folks and the Hip-Hop idiots. I was thinking about all of the silly names’ musicians create for their bands to help them standout in the crowd. I’ll list a few oldies but goodies and I’m sure you can think of many more.

STOP CALLING ME FRANK

AFGHANISTAN BANANA STAND

BUDDY WHATSHISNAME AND THE OTHER FELLAS

THE COLOR FRED

THE NAUGAHYDE CHIHUAHUAS

QUESTION MARK AND THE MYSTERIANS

THE WELL I’M SURE I LEFT IT THERE YESTERDAY BAND

ME FIRST AND THE GIMMEE GIMEES

THE DISAPPOINTED PARENTS

SHE STOLE MY BEER

You have to admit those rockers had quite the imagination and used the hell out of it. The list of silly band names is never-ending but still fun. Here’s my final thought for today:

Why is a virginity like a balloon?

One prick and its gone!

AND SO, AM I!

08/28/2002 “Bad Poetry Alert”   Leave a comment

I’m warm and cozy…

I hear distant sounds . . .

I feel and hear a rhythmic pumping . . .

A spasm, a sharp tug, another spasm, and then light.

I AM

❤️

08/27/2022 Oldies but Goodies   2 comments

I finally rolled out of bed today and headed directly for the coffee maker. I found the badly needed coffee and also a small surprise. My better-half left me a very old kid’s book filled with fun questions and answers circa 1957. Let’s start your weekend with a laugh or two.

  • What dog cannot bark? Answer: The basenji. It makes sharp little cries that sound like yodeling.
  • What bird can whistle with its wings? Answer: The hornbill. Its wings make a sharp whistling sound when it flies.
  • What bird has no wings or tail? Answer: The Kiwi.
  • How much would a 150-pound man weigh on the moon? Answer: Approximately 25 pounds.
  • Where are the largest coins in the world used? Answer: On the Pacific Island of Yap. They are made of stone and measure from 2-12 feet across.

  • Is it possible to step across the Mississippi River? Answer: Yes, near Lake Itasca, Minnesota.
  • Is all asparagus edible? Answer: No, only the common garden variety.
  • What animal picks fruit from trees with its tail? Answer: The kinkajou.
  • What is a guanaco? Answer: It is a wild llama from South America.
  • How much raw material would be needed to obtain one pound of radium? Answer: No less than 2,680 tons.

Thanks to my better-half and the Giant Little Golden Book – QUIZ FUN. I’m fairly certain that the kid books these days aren’t quite as informative.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND

08/26/2002 ☠️☠️Morbid Humor☠️☠️   Leave a comment

Over the years I spent a great deal of time roaming through graveyards in New England and elsewhere. I’ve always found them to be very quiet and calming. I also discovered that the older the tombstones the more interesting are the epithets. Here are a few you might get a kick out of.

Beneath this stone, a lump of clay,

Lies Uncle Peter Daniels,

Who too early in the month of May

Took off his winter flannels.

😵😵😵

The children of Israel wanted bread,

And the Lord sent to them manna.

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

😵😵😵

Here lies my husbands, One, Two, Three,

Dumb as men could ever be.

As for my fourth, well, praise be God,

He bides for a little longer above the sod.

Alex, Ben, and Sandy were the first three names,

And to make things tidy I’ll add his – James.

😵😵😵

Here lies the body of fat May Preston

Who’s now moved to heaven

To relieve the congestion.

T.G.I.F.F.