Archive for the ‘Bitch & Complain’ Category
03/22/2022 💥Stupid Headline Alert💥 Leave a comment
03/21/2022 Kids & Limericks Leave a comment
A few days ago, I posted a mish-mosh of items which included two limericks from young children. I love the fact that there are kids growing up into a new generation of limerick writers. I would hate to think limericks would fall by the wayside here in the 21st century when they’ve added so much amusement and laughter for hundreds of years. I have a collection of children’s limericks that I’ll share with you periodically because they are cute, adorable and much less bawdy than their adult counterparts. These are for those of you who are too delicate to read the real deal. I hope you enjoy them.
👩🏻👳🏻♂️👲🏻
Consider the poor hippopotamus
His life is unduly monotonous.
He lives half sleep
At the edge of the deep,
And his face is as big as his bottom is.
👩🏻👩🏻🦰👩🏻🦳
A sea serpent saw a big tanker,
Bit hole in its side and then sank her.
He swallowed the crew
In a minute or two,
And then picked his teeth with the anchor.
👱🏻♂️👲🏻👨🏻🦳
There was a young bather from Bewes,
Who reclined on the bank of the Ouse,
His radio blared,
And passers-by stared,
For all he had on was the news!
👼🏻👱🏻♂️👳🏻♂️
“What,” said our teacher, Ms. Pink,
“Is this moth doing here in my ink?”
Said a cheeky young lass,
At the front of the class,
“The Butterfly Stroke, I should think!”
NOT TOO BAD FOR YOUNGSTERS
03/20/2022 “feminisms” Leave a comment
A few months ago, I posted a page of interesting quotes by women. I promised at that time I’d find others and post them, today is the day. I really don’t feel the need to get into a rant about how difficult it is to find quotes by women even though they’re making quotable statements every day. It just seems the authors of books of quotations have a somewhat limited supply of female contributors. For today I think a few thoughts on feminism might make for an interesting read. Here we go . . .
- “Time is at hand when the voices of the feminine mystique can no longer drown out the inner voice that is driving women on to become complete.” Betty Friedan
- “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are created equal . . . The history of mankind is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations on the part of man towards woman, having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over her.” Elizabeth Cady Stanton
- “Woman’s liberation is the liberation of the feminine in the man and the masculine in the woman.” Carita Kent
- “It was the usual masculine disillusionment in discovering that a woman has a brain.” Margaret Mitchell
- “The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less.” Susan B Anthony
- “We’re half the people; we should be half the Congress.” Jeanette Rankin
- “Men who want to support women in our struggle for freedom and justice should understand that it is not terrifically important to us that they learn to cry; it is important to us that they stop the crimes of violence against us.” Andrea Dworkin
- “I am more than a hole.” Karen Finley
- “As a woman, I have no country. As a woman, I want no country. As a woman, my country is the whole world.” Virginia Woolf
- “One is not born, but rather becomes a woman.” Simone de Beauvoir
NUFF SAID
03/18/2022 “A Mish-Mosh” Leave a comment
Today is the perfect day for a pile of miscellaneous information that you didn’t realize you were missing. First a “Stupid Headline”, then a quote from the late Larry King, and thirdly a few retro bumper stickers to take you back to the 70’s. Last but not least two children’s limericks. Enjoy!
😝😝😝
STUDENT EXCITED ABOUT DAD GETTING HEAD JOB
🤓🤓🤓
“I never learned anything while I was talking.” – Larry King
🚘🚖🚗
GUNS CAUSE CRIME, LIKE FLIES CAUSE GARBAGE
NOT ALL WOMEN ARE FOOLS, SOME ARE SINGLE
I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR OTHER CAR IS, WHAT YOU LOVE, OR WHAT YOU’D RATHER BE DOING
☘☘☘
There once was an organic leek
That had managed to learn how to speak.
At the site of the knife,
It would fear for its life,
And go: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
☘☘☘
There was a young girl named Miss Muffet
Who sat down one day on a tuffet.
She’d sooner have had
A chair, I might add,
But sometimes you just have to rough it.
ENJOY YOUR DAY (TGIF)
03/17/2022 Rich v. Poor Leave a comment
I rolled out of bed today at about 3:45 AM and the house was dead silent. I poured myself a cup of coffee, crawled back into bed, and watched one of my favorite movies. The movie is “Shooter” and stars Donnie Wahlberg. It’s been one of my favorite movies for quite a long time but today something struck me, and I thought I’d talk about it a bit. In one of the nastier scenes in the movie Wahlberg is trapped on a mountain top and chatting with a corrupt United States Senator. The senator was eloquent in his smartass remarks and stated, “There are no Republicans or Democrats, just the “Have’s” and the “Have Not’s”. And that’s a pretty profound statement, like it or not, and it’s true to a certain point. Certain political entities in this country love nothing better than separating those two groups whenever possible to garner votes.
I’ve been known to take shots at the wealthier class of people in this country only because I felt it was necessary. I recently discovered a book titled The Rich Are Different. I’m a firm believer that statement is true but I’m not sure if it’s a good ‘different’ or a ‘bad different’. Here are a few pearls of wisdom from that book and a few of our richer, upper-class citizens.
- When the Duke of Marlborough could no longer afford his valet, who had, among other things, always put the paste on the Duke’s toothbrush, the nobleman’s shock was palpable. “What’s the matter with my tooth brush?” He exclaimed. “The damn thing won’t foam anymore!”
- “Until the age of twelve I sincerely believed that everybody had a house on Fifth Avenue, a villa in Newport and a steam driven, oceangoing yacht.” Cornelius Vanderbilt Junior
- “I have had no real gratification or enjoyment of any sort more than my neighbor on the next block who is worth only a half million.” William K. Vanderbilt
- “Prior to the Reagan era, the newly rich aped the old rich. But that isn’t true any longer. Donald Trump is making no effort to behave like Eleanor Roosevelt as far as I can see.” Fran Leibowitz
- “With money in your pocket you are wise, you are handsome, and you sing well, too.” Yiddish Proverb
- “No rich man is ugly.” Zsa Zsa Gabor
- During the 1887 Saratoga racing season, William Collins Whitney lost $385,000 at the gambling tables while waiting for his wife to finish dressing.
- “We don’t pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.” Leona Helmsley
- “What’s the use of money if you have to earn it?” George Bernard Shaw
HOW COULD ANYONE THINK THE RICH AREN’T JUST LIKE US
03/16/2022 “Wisdom of the Ages” Leave a comment
I’ve been on a kick of late concerning presidents, being presidential, and making timely and effective decisions. It’s easy for me to sit here in my home and criticize because I’ve never been in a position with that amount of power and the ability to use at will. It doesn’t change the fact that I think Biden is totally useless as a president, and he may even be the nicest guy in the world, but he is not presidential. So rather than criticize Biden and his ilk today I’m going to list a number of statements made by former presidents about the job, the responsibilities, and the difficulties. It certainly cleared my head on some misconceptions after reading them and I hope it will do the same for you.
JOHN QUINCY ADAMS
“I can tell you this: no man who ever held the office of President would congratulate a friend on obtaining it. Make no mistake about it, the four most miserable years of my life where my four years in the Presidency.”
DWIGHT DAVID EISENHOWER
“Oh, That lovely title, ex-President.
ANDREW JACKSON
“I can say with truth mine is a situation of dignified slavery.
LYNDON B. JOHNSON
“The Presidency has made every man who occupied it, no matter how small, bigger than he was; and no matter how big, not big enough for its demands.”
JOHN F. KENNEDY
“A President certainly must have . . . character, judgment, vigor, intellectual curiosity, a sense of history, and a strong sense of the future.”
RICHARD M. NIXON
“When the President does it, that means that it’s not illegal.
FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT
“One thing is sure. We have to do something. We have to do the best we know how at the moment . . . If it doesn’t turn out right, we can modify it as we go along.”
HARRY S. TRUMAN
“Always, if you ever pray, pray for me now. I don’t know if you fellas ever had a load of hay fall on you, but when they told me yesterday what happened, I felt like the moon, the stars and all the planets had fallen on me. I got the most terrible job a man ever had.”
ANYONE OUT THERE CRAZY ENOUGH TO APPLY FOR THAT JOB?
03/15/2022 Where’s Biden? Leave a comment
I’ve stated on many occasions that I was done writing about politics and politicians. I’m afraid after watching the Biden administration in recent weeks I can’t remain quiet any longer or I will lose my effing mind.
As we all know the Ides of March can be a dangerous time as can be verified by Julius Caesar. In celebrating that infamous day today, I thought a short discussion on Presidents was in order. With Russia and the Ukraine battling it out and Biden and his socialist vice-president doing absolutely nothing. It made me wonder where Biden will be listed as compared to past presidents. We’ve had some dunces, some fools, and a large number of incompetents. Many American lives have been sacrificed when presidential decisions went sideways. The following information was recently commissioned by C-SPAN to answer that question definitively and the results are fascinating. They ranked each president according to a number of different factors such as public persuasion, crisis leadership, international relations, and vision while in office. Here are their top ten.
Abraham Lincoln
George Washington
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Teddy Roosevelt
Dwight David Eisenhower
Harry S. Truman
Thomas Jefferson
John F. Kennedy
Ronald Reagan
Lyndon B. Johnson
Obviously, I don’t see the name Trump, Obama, Bush, or Carter listed in the top ten. After observing Biden since he took office, I would rank him around #40. He’s had a number of opportunities to make life a bit more difficult for the Russians but hasn’t done it. Either he’s an old fool or his advisors are incompetent. It seems their more concerned with party politics than international affairs. Maybe if gas reaches $6.00 a gallon someone will begin paying attention. This situation is getting out of hand and could turn dangerous at any time. Keep sitting on your hands Joe.
VOTE DEMOCRATIC AND KISS PUTIN’S ASS
☘Limerick Alert☘ 2 comments
For those of you limerick lovers, I thought I’d give you a small selection from a category called “Oral Irregularities”. No further explanation is necessary, just enjoy them.
In his youth our old friend Boccaccio
Was having a girl in a patio.
When it came to the twat
She wasn’t so hot,
But, boy, was she good at fellatio!
😝😝😝
A fellatrix’s healthful condition
Proved the value of spunk as nutrition.
Her remarkable diet
(I suggest that you try it)
Was only her clients’ emission
😜😜😜
There was an old man of Decatur,
Took out his red-hot pertater.
He tried at her dent
But when his thing bent,
He got down on his knees and he et’r.
😱😱😱
The priests at the Temple of Isis
Used to offer up amber and spices
Then back of the shrine
They would play 69
And other unmentionable vices.
🤪🤪🤪
There lived in French Louisiana
A quaint and deceived duenna
Who naïvely thought
That a penis was wrought
To be et like a thick ripe banana.
MORE TO COME SOON
03/10/2022 “Good Old Albert” Leave a comment
“The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my
talent for absorbing positive knowledge.”
Albert Einstein 1985
03/09/2022 “Artists?” Leave a comment
“The unborn work in the psyche of the artist is a force of nature that achieves its end either with tyrannical might or with the subtle cunning of nature herself, quite regardless of the personal fate of the man who is its vehicle.”
Carl Gustav Jung (26 July 1875 – 6 June 1961) was a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology. During that time, he came to the attention of Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis. Jung was also an artist, craftsman, builder and a prolific writer. Many of his works were not published until after his death and some are still awaiting publication.
ART IS THE SEX OF THE IMAGINATION
everyuselessthing.com 