I’ve had many Christians over the years try to convince me to take everything in the Bible literally. As a kid my late Mother was notorious for bringing me comic books about religion containing all kinds of cutesy cartoon characters of saints, sinners, angels and yes, even of God himself. At a very young age I realized that religion came across to me as mostly mythology while mythology also had certain characteristics of religion. I decided to ignore all of the parental and societal influences and proceeded with my life and eventually decided to believe neither.
Todays post will test your knowledge of both the Bible and Mythology. As always the answers will be listed below.
The diet of what mythical monster periodically included seven youths and seven maidens?
In the Bible, which of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse rides a red horse?
How were Noah and Methuselah related?
Who is the only woman whose age is mentioned in the Bible?
According to legend, what Hindu God died as Achilles did, from an arrow shot into his heel?
What was the Bedouin Mohammed adh–Dhib looking for when he discovered that Dead Sea Scrolls in 1947?
What was the total population of the world at the time of Christ?
How many people were on Noah’s Ark?
Who were the parents of King Solomon?
In the Bible, who saw the handwriting on the wall?
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Answers
The Minotaur, War-Book of Revelations, Methuselah was Noah’s paternal grandfather, Sarah, Krishna, His lost goat, Approximately 200,000,000, Eight, David and Bathsheba, Babylonian King Belshazzar.
I love reading odd facts about damn near anything. For years I religiously read the Darwin Awards and while they offer stories on weird ways to die, they are at times humorous as hell. People might take offense to that but I really don’t care because funny is still funny regardless of the circumstances. I recently stumbled upon three short stories on death that actually became a part of history. They’re not all that funny but they are definitely interesting. Let’s get started.
On September 14, 1899, Henry Bliss stepped down from a streetcar at West 74th and Central Park West in New York City. As he turned to help a female passenger down the stairs, he was struck by a passing cab, making the 68-year-old man the first pedestrian ever killed by an automobile in the United States.
Five years after their historic first flight at Kitty Hawk, the Wright brothers took their new plane, the Wright Flyer, on a cross-country tour to prove it could safely carry passengers. The third stop was at Fort Myers, Virginia, on September 17, 1908. As a crowd of 2000 cheered, Orville Wright and his passenger, Lt. Thomas E. Selfridge of the US Army Signal Corps, lifted off into the sky. Then the propeller snapped in two and the Wright Flyer nosedived 150 feet to the ground. Selfridge was killed instantly; Wright suffered multiple hip and leg fractures that plagued him with chronic pain for the rest of his life. This was the first documented death on an airplane.
Here’s another oldie but goodie that occurred during the September 15, 1833 at the launch of the Liverpool and Manchester Railway in England. It was attended by the Duke of Wellington and William Huskisson, a member of Parliament. Ignoring the engineers warning to remain on the train, Huskisson joined the other passengers and disembarked to gawk at the engines lined up on the parallel tracks. He stepped onto an empty track just as an engine called the Rocket barreled into the station. Huskisson fell beneath the wheels of the locomotive and lost his leg and died a few minutes later. He was unaware that he had made history as the first person ever killed by a train.
I’ve been called many things in my life. Some were complimentary and others not so much. My all-time favorite without a doubt is that I’m a sarcastic son-of-bitch. To me that is nothing more than a badge of honor which I wear proudly. Most people know the word sarcastic but have no idea what it really means. I’ve spent many years honing my sarcasm skills so today I’m now willing to share some of them with you. Here are some commonly used words with a beautiful yet sarcastic explanation. Read on my sarcastically uneducated and challenged readers.
CALM-What you are usually urged to remain around the time the third engine on the aircraft has failed.
PERFECTIONIST-The worst kind of boss; the best kind of sex partner.
PERKY-Lively, jaunty, brisk, or to put it another way, just asking for a punch in the damn face.
PUBLIC RESTROOM-A place containing toilet seats that make you wish you could be taught how to hover.
REALITY-A state in which you assume everybody else resides, until you start dating.
REGRET-The gnawing, inescapable feeling that behaving like a total dick for your entire life may not have been such a good idea.
MACHO-A form of overstated masculinity, requiring males to live in a state of constant readiness to whip it out and see whose is bigger.
NITPICK-To rip someone a new one without leaving anything out.
DRUNK-Intoxicated with alcoholic beverages. An absolutely crucial component in the decision to photocopy one’s ass cheeks.
DRESS-Something that does not, I said not, make you look fat.
DEGREE-A certificate of academic achievement awarded at the college level. Comes in very handy when asking people if they want fries with that.
CHIVALRY-Considerate behavior that a man completely abandons right after as many dates as it takes to get a woman into bed.
BAR-A place where lonely, desperate people go to get hammered enough to find other lonely, desperate people suddenly irresistible.
HOTDOG-The toenails, lips, and eyebrows of various animals served on a bun.
HUNGOVER- A condition that makes figuring out who was next to you in bed this morning take anywhere from five minutes to a lifetime.
I’m a huge fan of using quotations in my posts from the rich, the famous, and the wannabe famous. I thought today would be a good day to give kudos to the one person who supplies us with endless quotations that are almost always funny, truthful, and many times sarcastic. That writer is Mr. Anonymous. I did a little research this morning and came up with 15 quotes from Mr. Anonymous that I really liked and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. Here they are.
“Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults but for having faults different from ours.“
“The Eiffel Tower in Paris is the Empire State building after taxes.“
“One reassuring thing about modern art is that things can’t possibly be as bad as they are painted.“
“An average film is where the actor has more lines in his face than in his script.“
“Modern art is when you buy a picture to cover a hole in the wall and then decide the hole looks much better.“
“Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.“
“Hollywood is Malice in Wonderland.“
“If white bread could sing it would sound like Olivia Newton John.“
“Television is a box that has changed children from an irresistible force into an immovable object.“
“Parents never appreciate a teacher unless it rains all weekend.“
MR. ANONYMOUS
“You can tell a Harvard man, but you can’t tell him much.“
“Psychology is the science that tells you what you already know in words you don’t understand.“
“Eating food with a knife and fork is like making love through an interpreter.“
“If you speak three languages your trilingual. If you can speak two languages you are bilingual. If you can only speak one language you’re an American.“
“A Hollywood marriage is one in which the couple vow to be faithful until after the honeymoon.“
And now I’ll offer up one of my own quotes:
“OLD AGE AND RETIREMENT ARE JUST KARMIC RETRIBUTION”
It’s another anniversary of 9/11 and on top of that we are trying to cope with another cowardly assassination of another intelligent and charismatic, god-fearing patriot, Charlie Kirk. I’ve been around almost 80 years and that young man touched me deeply. I hope those of you on the left realize what a tragedy this is and the adverse effect it will have on you. Charlie was a true believer in God and wished only good things for this country and it’s people. I hope he didn’t die in vain and that his millions of young followers listened to him and will take up the cause he loved so much.
I can’t possible post anything else today. I’m mourning his loss and my heart just isn’t into it. I wish his close friends and family my deepest condolences. I hope all of the seeds he’s planted over the years take root and produce more people just like him.
My life has been relatively interesting even though I spent a large part of that life in courthouses, courtrooms, and dealing with an ungodly number of attorneys, both good, bad, and some really bad. The general rule of mine was to ignore almost everything attorneys said to me and that served me well for three decades. They made me a believer of an old saying quoted by Edgar Allen Poe, “BELIEVE ONLY HALF OF WHAT YOU SEE AND NOTHING YOU HEAR”. I have a few friends that are actually very good attorneys and that just tells me there are exceptions to every rule. Today’s post is one of my favorite stories about attorneys. If and when you’re ever required to hire an attorney make sure you don’t get one like the one I’m about to tell you about.
Clement Vallandigham was an attorney and former US Congressman. In 1871, while defending a murder suspect in court, he argued that the alleged victim had not been murdered and could’ve accidently shot himself. Vallandigham took out a gun, held it as if at the scene of the crime and thinking it was unloaded, he pulled the trigger. Good news: He proved his point and his client was acquitted. Bad news: Vallandigham died from an accidental gunshot wound to the head.
Now that 47 has begun his presidency the media and its leftwing troops have been forced to fill the airways with a few new and stupid additions to the English language. Fake News, Unalive, and Lib-tards to name a few. The new-but-old standbys will once again be introduced by the lib-tards such as Nazis, Dictator, and King. Everyone is well aware of the phrase (Fake News) especially in the US and the UK. The UK citizens are being fed a constant stream of BS by the government and the BBC and if they dare to complain they’re sure to be arrested by the Thought Police. It’s a bitch living in a country that has no First Amendment but instead they sill have their effing Monarchy (Too Bad, So Sad):
In the original draft of the Bill of Rights, what is now the First
Amendment occupied third place. The first two articles were
not ratified by the states, so the article on disestablishment
and FREE SPEECH ended up being first.
I could list more but what’s the point. The words are meaningless for the most part and are only used by politicians who’ve have lost their party and their minds. I’ll be listing a few words in todays post that aren’t commonly known but maybe the lib-tards can adopt a few of them for their “speechifying” (a shout out for Mark Twain who used that word often).
ROWELL: the revolving star on the back of a cowboys spurs.
COLUMELLA: the bottom part of the nose that separates the nostrils.
NITTLES: the punctuation marks used to denote swear words in comic books.
OBDERMITION: when an arm or a leg “goes to sleep” as a result of numbness caused by pressure on a nerve.
FERRULE: the metal band on the top of the pencil that hold the eraser in place.
ARMSATE: the hole in a shirt or a sweater through which you put your hand and arm.
RASCETA: the creases on the inside of your wrist.
OPHYRON: the space between your eyebrows
PURLICUE: the space between the extended thumb and index finger.
KEEPER: the loop on a belt that holds the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
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YOU CAN’T BLAME THESE ON 47(UNLESS YOU’RE A LIB-TARD)
Now that the NFL preseason has kicked off, I can once again turn into the fanatical Steeler fan that tends to irritate everyone in Maine or New England. I’m not as rabid as some fans but I am criminally loyal to the Pittsburgh Steelers. I swore when the season started this year I was never going to be a Steeler fan again because of their lousy record in actually playing football in playoff games.
Sorry, but I once again lied. I’ve now decided to include the Tampa Buccaneers as my backup team if the Steelers suck again this year. I’ve always been a Baker Mayfield fan and I would love to see him in the Superbowl if the Steelers don’t or can’t make it.And one additional comment: Tell T.J. Watt to get with the program. Doesn’t he realize by now he’s letting his ego send a wrong message to the fan base (my personal opinion). He sounds a little whiny for the big bruiser that he is. Also, his post seasons are nothing to brag about either.
Today’s post is a trivia quiz on sports for those crazy-ass sports fanatics that are waiting to show me how good they are. We shall see. As always the answers are at the bottom.
Where did the territorial-capture board game Go originate, 4000 years ago?
During a serve in American racquetball, what is the first surface the ball must hit after the racket?
How many unique numbers are used in Sudoku?
When did Ralph Samuelson invent waterskiing?
What is the minimum number of moves needed to achieve checkmate in chess?
Which of these sports is not represented in the Olympics? Basketball, Cricket, Dressage, or Handball
Sam Roth hit the fastest tennis serve ever recorded in 2012. How fast was it?
Who holds the record for most points (100) in a single NBA game?
Who invented the game of Scrabble
When Bingo started sometime around 1929, what was it called?
1896
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Answers
China, The front wall, 9, 1922, 2, Cricket, 163 mi./h, Wilt Chamberlain, Alfred Mosher Butts, Beano.
I find it a little strange that the minute I blog about the 1980’s my responses go through the roof. I lived through the 80’s and was never all that fascinated by the things that occurred then. People love the crudeness and rudeness of 80’s humor and don’t get me started on the limericks. Through the effing roof. In keeping with reader demands, todays little quiz will test your memories of the 80’s unless you were “stoned” most of the time. I’ll excuse all of you stoners out there just this once. As always, the answers are below.
Operation Able Archer was the codename of _______ that took place in 1983.
_______ was the teacher who died in the Challenger disaster.
What year did the Berlin Wall come tumbling down?
Margaret Thatcher is a member of what British political party?
Muammar Gadhafi was the dictator of what Middle Eastern country?
Mikhail Gorbachev initiated reforms meant to _______ the Soviet Union.
The passenger jet the Soviets shot down in 1983 was from what company?
How many points to did the Dow Jones Industrial Index lose on Black Monday?
What caused the Challenger disaster?
President Reagan ordered the _______ of Libya after a terrorist attack in West Berlin.
Answers
NATO wargames, Christa McAuliffe, 1989, Conservative, Libya, Save, Korean air lines/Korean Air, 508, O-ring failure, Aerial bombing.
I really hate to admit this, I’ve turned into a raging paranoic. I’ve blogged many times about fake and biased news and while it’s being addressed nationally these days, a lot of everyday folks love believing everything they read or hear. Today’s blog is a list of random nonsense being spoken of by good old ordinary Americans who obviously don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. It scares me a little because the more you tell a lie the more likely it is that some of the boneheads you’re telling believe it without question. I can’t do anything to stop that but I’ll certainly point out some strange shit that I’ve been seeing and hearing recently.
More than 1% of the US population is currently in jail. FALSE
Aspirin was originally invented to treat erectile dysfunction. FALSE
Left-handed people live an average of nine years longer than right-handed people. FALSE
Legendary children’s show host Mr. Rogers was once a Marine sniper with thousands of killed under his belt. FALSE
Despite being a common joke today, Robin never actually says Holy Cow (or Toledo)Batman during any episodes. FALSE
The planet Mercury is the hottest planet in the solar system. FALSE
If we removed every boat, ship, and submarine from the oceans, sea level would fall about 6 inches. FALSE
The popular online rumor suggests that hippopotamus milk is pink. FALSE
The word FUCK was once said over 1000 times in one movie. FALSE
Humans are the only animals on earth to perform oral sex on each other. FALSE
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