Archive for the ‘Kill Me, I’m Begging You’ Category
I’ve been very critical over the years with people spending their entire lives trying to become famous. That relentless search for their fifteen minutes of fame becomes an obsession and usually causes them more problems than actual fame in it’s pursuit. To our society becoming famous or even knowing someone famous is all that’s important.
Reality shows have given a great many people their fifteen minutes and in most cases we all regret it. The Jersey Shore, Swamp People, Teen Moms, just to mention a few. These people acquired fame and fortune for no apparent good reason. They’re just a by-product of our obsession with anything that can be sensationalized or celebrity related.
I’ve never been someone who searched out fame or notoriety but now I’m thinking I might have missed the boat. I decided to do a little research into how I could become famous. On a website I won’t mention I found this top ten list of things to do to become famous. I tried working my way through the list but I had many difficulties and it now appears that fame and fortune will continue to elude me. Here’s what I found.
Make a Sex Tape – I really gave this my best efforts but something seemed to be missing. Finding a partner to make the tape became the entire issue. Finally I discovered a local homeless women who would do anything for food. We made the tape and sent it out to the media. They all were returned unopened and the cost for my treatment of this STD was enormous.
Get Your Own Reality Show – I couldn’t find anyone interested in the life and times of a retiree. I was told to call them back if I ever fathered a child with anyone under the age of sixteen. I could then be a spin off of Teen Moms but only if I had an accompanying physical deformity.
Date Someone Famous – I wrote really intimate and interesting letters to my top twenty celebrities begging for some quality time and a few photo ops to get the attention of the paparazzi. I received back twenty attorney letters threatening protection orders if I didn’t desist.
Release a Pop Single – This may have been the worst day of my life. I discovered that my ability to RAP was limited and that most promoters thought I was way too old and way too white.
Go to Rehab - I checked myself into rehab. Rehab in Maine is inexpensive. My addiction to potato chips just wasn’t juicy enough to make the nightly news.
Claim to Be a Bisexual – I made this claim but for it to be taken seriously I needed a partner. I was turned down so many times I began to feel really bad about myself. I may be forced into therapy because my delicate ego was severely bruised.
Find Some Famous Friends – The only people I know who are famous are incarcerated in some of Maine’s finest jails. I interviewed thousands of criminals over the years and now they’re lining up to be my buddy.
Weight Loss – I’ve been trying to accomplish weight loss for years. It’s never worked very well before so I don’t anticipate it improving now. I was asked to leave the building at Jenny Craig because I just wasn’t famous enough or pretty enough to appear in their commercials. I wasn’t happy being slammed for my lack of fame but everyone knows I’m pretty enough.
Get or Remove a Tattoo – This was a total waste of my time. My better-half made it abundantly clear that no additional tattoo’s were permitted and we certainly weren’t going to spend our hard earned money to remove any.
Sell Your Wedding or Baby Pictures – I tried selling my pictures but I had no takers. Every media outlet returned them with some less than flattering comments. Even members of my own family sent them back with a "No Thanks" note attached.
I guess I’m screwed. No fame or fortune in my future. No photos with the Kardasian’s, no paparazzi chasing me around, no quality time with Lindsey Lohan or dates with her mother. My life sucks.
It’s not unusual these days to hear people from other countries constantly complaining about America, Americans, and everything else American. We’re too loud, we’re too arrogant, we’re bullies, and on and on it goes. After continuously hearing all of that I then wonder why it is that so many of the same people from every nation on the planet would die to come here. Many hundreds of illegals have died in the deserts of northern Mexico just trying to cross the border to get here.
I always assume that money is the motivation for everything as well as political persecution but both of those things can be avoided by fleeing to many other countries besides the United States. Why then does everyone want to be here? As I lounged in my bed this morning a thought came to me that might explain it. As you know many countries have an odd assortment of traditions and customs that are truly weird and strange to us. I think many of our traditions are equally strange to them. They can’t seem to understand why we do certain things but they want to experience them with us. I’ve put together a list of ten things we Americans do that even I don’t understand. Lets take a look at them.
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Black Friday Shopping Sprees – My better-half and hundreds of thousands of others religiously participate in this insanity. I know that she and I will never spend Black Friday together unless I bow to this tradition.
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Presidential Turkey Pardons – This is so lame it’s embarrassing to admit that it’s true. Eat the freaking bird and be done with it. So freaking dumb!
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Gay Pride Parades - I can’t think of any reason why these are necessary at all. Maybe we need a Heterosexual Pride Parade every so often where we can get crazy and half-naked and make complete fools of ourselves. Oh wait, I forgot we have Spring Break for that.
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Tailgate Parties – This is just a further extension of the nations sports obsession. These get togethers continue to get more ridiculous every year but it’s something the Food channel can’t survive without.
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Cow Tipping – This is reported to be a true American tradition from the Midwestern part of the country. I’ve never seen it done nor have I ever participated in cow tipping. It’s just another reason to give the folks living in farm country a hard time. Funny but unverified.
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Punkin Chunkin – I’ve watched this on TV a few times but really didn’t think it was much of a tradition until two years ago. My better-half and I were riding around enjoying the pretty Fall colors when we came upon dozens of cars parked near a farmers field. People were standing around in groups watching some locals chunking pumpkins across the field. Every time one exploded everyone cheered. Why, I have no freaking idea.
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Watching Super Bowl Commercials – I have many more friends who watch the Super Bowl just for the commercials rather than the game itself. Go figure!
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Roadside Death Shrines - Over the years I’ve seen hundreds of these shrines built by friends and family of people killed in traffic accidents. Again, I don’t understand the need to build a shrine along some road. Some are really unbelievable. I saw one near my home that had it’s own decorated Christmas Tree.
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Sensationalism - Everything in this country is sensationalized. Crimes of the Century, Games of the Century, Storms of the Century, and anything else you can think of. If it isn’t the biggest and baddest in history it just isn’t worth mentioning. This is one tradition we could do without.
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Ground Hog Day Predictions - This is so stupid I really thought about not mentioning it at all. So consider it not mentioned.
Come one! Come all! All you crazy folks from around the globe. It’s taken America more than two hundred years but we finally developed and celebrate as many weird and stupid things as the people in your homeland do. You should fit right into this looney-bin we call America. So come on down.
Spring has finally sprung here in Maine. That cold nip that’s been in the air for the last few weeks seems to be disappearing and sitting on my deck actually feels warm instead of just in the sunny spots.
Something else is an excellent predictor of warm weather and that’s road construction. We’re just a week away from the beginning of the tourist season which under normal conditions is a huge pain in the butt. Add the influx of tourist to the unbelievable amount of road construction and what do you get? You get madness.
I spent a portion of my day yesterday riding around the area, running errands, and just enjoying the sunshine. I saw a few things I found more than a little disturbing. I once lived in the Boston area and there we were required to suffer through traffic jams which are a way of life. I spent more than seventeen years sitting on Rte. 128 in gigantic traffic jams and logged more time sitting on that highway than I did in my office. It was one of the many reasons I felt a move to Maine was a good idea.
Maine is a very large state with a reasonably small population and under normal circumstances we have a difficult time even finding a traffic jam. Unfortunately that appears to be changing this year. I spent more time than I’d like sitting in construction traffic yesterday and I swear I must have seen at least sixty percent of the state’s population. They were all jammed into one of the main intersections in Scarborough, Maine which has been under construction for at least two months.
It takes a real genius to begin a large road construction project just prior to tourist season at one of the busiest intersections in the area without being absolutely certain it will be completed before the tourists arrive. It’s not the town officials that are to blame but the idiots from the state government in Augusta. They bitch and complain about the poor economy and then do their level best to screw things up.
The perfect example to make my point was this scene. You have two large intersections within a couple of hundred yards of each other. There are no less than fourteen lanes of traffic merging into and out of this area which unfortunately is the direct driving route to the beaches and the marsh areas where tourist love to visit. Every lane except for two was closed.
I sat and watched some poor schmuck standing in a shallow hole spreading asphalt with a wooden paddle. He was sweating his butt off as he pushed and pulled the material around to get it level. Standing right next to him were four supervisors in their pretty white hard hats, reading their clip boards, and watching the poor guy working. Making a rough estimate I would calculate that more than $100.00 an hour was being spent to supervise one guy making $20.00 an hour. I really appreciated that the entire group of supervisors were proud enough to wear their official State of Maine, Department of Transportation jackets. It’s the perfect way to advertise to "We the People" where our hard earned tax money is being spent.
Shortly after Memorial Day that intersection will be an even bigger nightmare. I’m certain that all of our Canadian visitors will really appreciate spending a good portion of their vacation time sitting in the heat at that intersection. You haven’t lived until you’ve experienced a road rage incident where someone is screaming obscenities at you in French. At least I won’t understand what the hell their saying.
A few days ago I posted a bit of humor about men visiting Lowes at different stages of their lives. I tag these types of posts as humor but as always there are a few of you out there who insist on taking things as a personal attack. I received a somewhat smarmy email from a gentleman in Canada who took me to task for having made men look too foolish. I won’t assume anything about someone who sees a posting described as humor and then takes time out of his busy day to write an email complaining about the humor. He truly must be a Canadian.
Being the fair minded individual that I am I’ll dedicate this HUMEROUS post in his honor with the hopes he has a women in his life who can explain it to him. If I’m going to receive stupid and inane emails I’d prefer them to be from women. As a warning to all of you folks in Canada, THIS POSTING CONTAINS HUMOR. Be on your guard.
What Woman Desire in Men
20’s
- Handsome
- Works Out Regularly
- Charming
- Financially Successful
- A Caring Listener
- An Imaginative and Romantic Lover
30’s
- Nice Looking
- Listens More Than Talks
- Smells Good
- Carries Groceries With Ease
- Owns at Least One Tie
- Requires Sex Once a Week
40’s
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Not Too Ugly – Bald OK
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Doesn’t Smell Too Bad
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Usually Wears a Shirt to Cover His Stomach
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Remembers to Put the Toilet Lid Down
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Shaves on Most Weekends
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Requires Sex Once a Month
50’s
- Keeps Hair in Nose and Ears Trimmed
- Doesn’t Belch or Scratch in Public
- Doesn’t Nod Off While I’m Talking
- Remembers My Name
- Shaves on Some Weekends
- Requires Sex Once a Quarter
60’s
- Remembers Where the Bathroom Is
- Can Stand By Himself
- Usually Wears Some Clothes
- Social Security Eligible
- Remembers Where He Left His Teeth
- Vaguely Remembers Sex
70’s
- Collecting Social Security
- Can Still Drive
- Breathing
- Breathing
- Breathing
- Breathing
There you have it ladies. If you find any omissions or errors please drop me a comment or email with the particulars. I’ll immediately forward them to my new Canadian friend for his thoughts on the matter. I’m just kidding of course. My only message for Ontario Joe is BITE ME!
I must be losing my touch. As I’ve always made clear to one and all, I hate shopping. I also realize that a certain amount of it must take place whether I like it or not. I’ve slowly developed over the years into a standard male shopper as described on many occasions by women. First I determine what I need, then I look at the cost, then I travel to where it’s available, and then purchase it. Not much fooling around or standing in the aisles trying to decide about the color, size, and price. I do that before I get there, buy the thing, and get the hell out of there.
Many men have been criticized many times for this kind of shopping by our female counterparts. They seem to think that any way but their way was somehow incorrect. It’s useless to argue with them because as well as being the all-time best shoppers, they’re also always right about everything. It’s a heavy burden to bear but they manage to pull it off perfectly. Just ask any women and she’ll explain it to you in great, great detail.
I have been searching for a certain product for what seems like forever and I’m at my wits end. I’ve searched on-line and found dozens of the item but at a cost that is ridiculous once the shipping and handling charges are added in. Once on-line shopping was eliminated as a possibility I proceeded to find a local vendor for what I hoped would be a cheaper price. I’ve talked to a number of them so far with no luck. I thought by buying local I could eliminate the shipping expenses and still get a decent price. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
All I’m looking for is an simple 18 inch glass circle at least one quarter inch thick. I guess the simpler an item is the more difficult it can be to find. That makes no sense to me but it appears to be the reality of my situation. With each negative result I’m slowly being pushed into considering a method of shopping I’m not all that comfortable with, flea markets and yard sales.
For more than a few years I’ve been included in my better-half’s shopping forays into hundreds of garages and homes in southern Maine as she digs through the cast off items of their owners. I’ve always been a little put off by that but she seems to thrive on it. To me it’s like shopping at a Goodwill retail store. I have serious issues with shopping anywhere where a lot of my own things may be for sale. It’s just creepy.
I visited a few of the big box stores today with no luck. They’ll sell you a square piece of glass in a second but ask for a round piece and it’s like the end of the world. They get that stupid look on their faces and begin their song and dance on why they don’t have them available. I also visited a number of other retailers and again had no luck. My last resort was a local glass company who advertises every kind of glass known to man and they’ll cut it to order. On-line I would have been charged approximately $25.00 for the item and an additional $23.00 to ship it. This local retailer offered me what he considers to be his best deal. I can have my simple piece of 18 inch glass for a mere pittance, $51.00.
I have that nagging suspicion in the back of my mind that I’m being manipulated. The bottom line for me is this. I’m not paying fifty bucks for an eighteen inch piece of glass regardless of the seller. I didn’t think it could happen but I’m left without a solution to my problem. My better-half must be subconsciously laughing her ass off because she already knows I’ll be requesting her help in finding this thing. I see thousands of other people’s things in other people’s garages that I’ll be forced to paw through in my search for this piece of glass.
Ugh!
In my effort to maintain some sort of handle on our modern day culture I spend a portion of my time exploring the odd and weird corners of this wonderful tool called the Internet. You’ll notice that nowhere in that last sentence was the word FUN mentioned. The reason being that most of the time there is no fun involved.
I may have made a few mentions in the past concerning women, their foibles and humorous approaches to life in general. Sometimes they are interesting and sometimes not so much. Today it’s time to even things up a little and give some men the boot in the ass they seem to deserve.
I landed on a web site recently called askmen.com where a list of the Top 99 Women of 2013 had been created and posted. I’m not sure how you determine the 99 Top Women for 2013 when it’s only April. I guess if you’re a women who does something really great or interesting in the last eight months of this year, you don’t count. The site is a little unclear who was responsible for making this list or the requirements needed to be named. Is it the prettiest, the sexiest, the smartest, the biggest boobs, the nicest ass, or what? I still don’t know.
Being the curious person that I am I began at the bottom of the list with Berenice Marlohe. Who the hell is that you ask, why it’s the newest James Bond girl. My first thought was “So What!” Then to Kim Kardashian, who needs no introduction to her stupid and ignorant fans in this country. Next I find Kate Moss, the former drug using model who now gets naked so she can appear with Rihanna in the magazine "V".
Let’s recap so far. One untested actress, one money hungry TV slut, and one second rate model forced to show her goods as a backdrop to Rihanna. That tells me immediately this is not the list of possible women role models for our younger generations nor is it the list of women who’ve made any noticeable contributions to our society. It’s the list of what some unknown list-maker has decided are the most sexy and easiest babes to look at. I might be forced to question this list-maker’s qualifications because in my opinion he doesn’t have a clue. I don’t want to get into a rant on this subject just yet so let’s check out a few more of their so called candidates for fame and fortune.
Next is Paula Gretsky, daughter of Wayne. Fresh from her bikini shoot at Maxim magazine. Then comes Raquel Diaz aka Rocsi, a BET video show hostess, and then Jenna Marbles, a former YouTube sensation, who put out a half-assed video that happened to go viral. WTF is going on? I should tell you now that Jennifer Lawrence was the number one selection for 2013 and that Charlize Theron came in at number 97. This list-maker is either blind, stupid, or fifteen years old. Does that make any kind of sense to you at all? It doesn’t for me.
I’ve always gone out of my way to defend my gender but it’s times like this I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. This web site should be avoided at all costs and I won’t be providing a link to it here. These so-called lists created from their so-called readership seem to me to be bogus. It’s just a cheap and lame attempt to drive the hit rate of their site with as many hot female bodies as they can find. It’s the same scheme used by Sports Illustrated every year with their Swimsuit Edition. Hey guys, it’s already been done to death so please stop. As a man I’m a little embarrassed by the whole thing and so should all of you.
It appears that I’m finally on the mend from this damn virus that’s been kicking my ass for the last week. I still sound like someone’s gravely voiced uncle but I can live with that for a few more days. Being sick is a triple curse for me. First your sick as a dog, second your stuck in the house usually in bed, and thirdly you can’t stop coughing. You can only read so much before you’re forced to watch television and there’s the rub. It’s like being shot and then hung.
These last few days have convinced me to consider canceling our TV service when the current contract expires. I can’t take the endless commercials and the low caliber of programming that has slowly been turning my mind and everyone else’s to mush. I’ve had it with all of the “redneck” programs that make all of us look like effing hicks to the rest of the world. It’s ironic that the program that supplied me with the information needed to cancel my subscription, I saw on TV.
I remember back in the day when cable TV was a new novelty. The way it was initially sold was an ad campaign that was total and absolute BS. It was called "Pay TV" then and we were all assured for a small monthly fee we would be commercial free forever. Then slowly but surely the fees began to grow, the commercials returned in a big way, and all of a sudden it’s costing me upwards of one hundred and fifty dollars a month for viewing programming that is almost fifty percent commercials.
When I began approaching retirement I decided to simplify by life. I got rid of my old land-line telephone, all of my premium channels, and returned to just a basic cable package. The cable company then added surcharges and taxes which brought my monthly figure almost back where it started before I cancelled the premium channels.
Then I moved in with my better-half who was burdened with an almost $200.00 a month bill of her own. We immediately took steps to reduce our combined bill but Time Warner is a devious enemy. We reduced everything back to basic cable but with our Internet charges we were still paying over a hundred dollars a month. The cable companies claim it’s impossible to offer a menu type system where you order the channels you really want and aren’t forced to pay for thirty or forty you never watch. How convenient.
We cancelled a large portion of our package but since it changed our "bundling" (the newest word used to screw all of us) they couldn’t lower our costs all that much. After it was all said and done we were still paying $110.00 a month after the surcharges and BS fees were added. We were both unhappy with the results of our efforts so we cancelled all of our Time Warner’s services except for the broadband Internet. We then subscribed to the Dish network for two years and were initially charged an introductory price of $38.00 a month for one year. They told me that after the first year the monthly price would be increased somewhat. The first year passed and the price increased with fees and surcharges to $68.00 per month. I’d call that more than substantial.
Arguing with cable companies is useless. They have their own agenda which is to get as much money from us as they possibly can and believe me, nothing else matters. I think a reasonable price for Internet and basic cable should be no more than $85.00 a month with fees and surcharges. Any more than that is just highway robbery.
We’ve reached the point where desperate times call for desperate measures. At the end of our current contract with Dish we’ll be canceling the satellite cable package and retaining only the Internet service from Time Warner. We’ve decided to then subscribe to Netflix ($9.99 a month) for an endless selection of movies and Hulu Plus ($7.99 a month) for almost any TV programming we’d like to see. Our total cost at that point will be approximately $57.97 a month, well within what we consider a reasonable cost. Another added plus is that almost all commercials programming will disappear from our life.
This is a trend that seems to be happening everywhere by many of us. It gives the old saying “vote with your feet” new meaning. If enough people walk away from these cable monopolies then changes will occur and prices will begin dropping.
Just as a common courtesy I thought I’d let everyone know that as I ended yesterday’s posting I was hoping and praying for a really sexy massage but a little worried about a threatened enema. I received neither and on one hand I’m happy and the other hand not so much. It was an all or nothing deal and I had to turn it down because I’m chicken.
It’s always been that way for me. it’s never someone just offering me a nice kiss on the cheek but someone promising that kiss then kicking me in the balls as well. Carrot and stick all at the same time. If you can avoid that situation I would highly recommend it.
Since I’m still under the weather I’ll spend my day today on the computer continuing the sorting and cataloging of my photographs. I’ve almost completed the job which has taken just about forever but ever time I return home with my camera I have another hundred or so photo’s to review and sort. And no I don’t keep everything. If I take a hundred photos from my camera I may keep twenty-five. A quick skim through them usually reveals very quickly which ones just suck and have no real value.
My standard routine is to take at least four shots of every photograph. It still amazes me how much difference takes place in just a second or two from the last one. As a general rule the very first snap usually is the keeper. Not always but more often than not. It just goes to show that my first thoughts and actions in that specific moment were correct, most of the time.
I may spend a little time today playing with my Photoshop program. I normally don’t edit my photographs because I want them exactly as they were when taken. I’ll on occasion edit a few as a novelty and print them up for friends and family but in my opinion untouched photo’s are always the way to go. I’m still something of a novice with Photoshop but it’s fun to play around with which can only increase my proficiency.
I’m hoping by tomorrow I’ll be permitted to leave the house. Just between you and me, regardless of the warden’s wishes, I’ll be getting out of here for a few hours. A little fresh air can only help and even if it doesn’t, so what. I have to admit that I’m a terrible patient and even though my better-half is trying to help I still can occasionally be a pain in the ass. Hard to believe I know.
Well, tomorrow is another day with the promise of sunny weather, a quick and undetected escape from this house, and freedom, freedom, freedom.
This has been a slow news day for me. I was so excited to complete my room remodel that I celebrated a little too much and got stupid a whole lot. The sun was shining, the temperature was in the high sixties, and I was on the deck catching some rays and loving life. Portions of our deck are protected from the wind so I was hot and sweaty in the sun but then when the wind shifted the temperature dropped about fifteen degrees. I didn’t let it phase me or so I thought.
Last night at nine I started feeling a bit flushed and then a little clammy. Right as I was going to bed I felt that well known indicator of bad things to come, a scratchy throat. I hoped and prayed I was wrong but I knew I wasn’t. At three in the morning I woke up coughing and with a light fever. At four I was awakened because I was having difficulty breathing from congestion in my head and chest. It was quickly becoming a really bad day.
I seem to have lost the good health battle to a rather fast moving virus of some sort. I honestly don’t think it’s the flu because of the speed at which it’s progressing. I’ve been low on energy all day today and been doing all of the normal run-of-the-mill remedies to help myself through this. Lots of liquids, rest, an occasional throat lozenge, and a few Tylenol. It’s now four in the afternoon and things are status quo.
I hate being sick and confined to bed but my better-half (the female warden of this prison) has laid down the law. I’m in freaking jail with no chance of parole at least until the fever breaks. I’ll only be allowed out to play with the other kids after I start feeling better and when I stop being a whinny baby (her choice of words, not mine).
So this posting will lack my normal sarcastic bent because my head hurts and I’m in dire need of a lengthy but loving back rub. The warden says if I’m good I can watch some TV and she’ll make me some chicken soup. Screw the soup, I want a really detailed and thorough sponge bath with all the trimmings. It would lower my rising temperature, clean my filthy body, and give me a cheap thrill or two if she does it just right.
So that’s it for today. I can see the warden heading my way with that Nurse Ratched look on her face. I hope she’s not going to try that enema thing again. LOL
Well today is the day when the ever-so-lame Earth Day is celebrated. I’ve never celebrated this day the same way I don’t recognize or celebrate Kwanza. All you "Greenies" out there can get as excited as you like today but not me or mine.
Her are a few facts about how Earth Day was started and by the POS who was responsible. Read and learn all you Green fools about one of your demi-gods who cared more for the planet than the life of an innocent women.
I’ve been around since the inception of Earth Day by Ira Einhorn and his half-assed hippy movement and while some of the initial ideas were valid concerning abuses of the environment it has now evolved into a semi-religious movement with goals and political aims that go way too far and are harming the country. Everything green becomes more important than life itself. The movement has no respect about another persons property rights, their jobs, or the devastating effect many of the stupid EPA laws have had on unsuspecting citizens and businesses.
As in any movement you must look at the leader for his ideas and credibility. Einhorn to me is just a stone-cold killer who thinks the laws of society don’t apply to him.
Ira Samuel Einhorn, a.k.a. “The Unicorn Killer” (born May 15, 1940), is a convicted murderer, and American activist of the 1960s and 1970s. He is now serving a life sentence for the 1977 murder of Holly Maddux.
How many Earth Days has “Holly Maddux” missed since she was beaten to death by Einhorn, stuffed into a trunk, and stuck in a closet. It took more than twenty years to find, arrest, return him to this country, and convict him.
To quote the murderer: “Underlying the themes of Earth Day is a call for mankind to align itself with nature, and against itself, enlisting human beings to take part in a battle that seeks to place humanity under the control of an enlightened elite, one that values the interests of nature above that of people.
If your interested click here to learn more about the case:
IRA EINHORN’S DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
everyuselessthing.com 
A few days ago I posted a bit of humor about men visiting Lowes at different stages of their lives. I tag these types of posts as humor but as always there are a few of you out there who insist on taking things as a personal attack. I received a somewhat smarmy email from a gentleman in Canada who took me to task for having made men look too foolish. I won’t assume anything about someone who sees a posting described as humor and then takes time out of his busy day to write an email complaining about the humor. He truly must be a Canadian.
Being the fair minded individual that I am I’ll dedicate this HUMEROUS post in his honor with the hopes he has a women in his life who can explain it to him. If I’m going to receive stupid and inane emails I’d prefer them to be from women. As a warning to all of you folks in Canada, THIS POSTING CONTAINS HUMOR. Be on your guard.
What Woman Desire in Men
20’s
30’s
40’s
50’s
60’s
70’s
There you have it ladies. If you find any omissions or errors please drop me a comment or email with the particulars. I’ll immediately forward them to my new Canadian friend for his thoughts on the matter. I’m just kidding of course. My only message for Ontario Joe is BITE ME!
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