I have a confession to make today that I absolutely love breasts, specifically women’s breasts. Like the great majority of men I have a real appreciation for both natural and supernatural (implants) breasts. It isn’t something that just happened to me, it’s been my obsession for as long as I can remember.
I’m not sure when it developed or why. It might have been that I was breast- fed as a baby and became enamored of breasts then. Or maybe I wasn’t breast-fed as a baby and really wanted to be. Since discussing anything sexual with my late parents was almost impossible I don’t have the real answer to my question.
Since so many of my readers are male and have a similar fascination with breasts I thought I’d do a little research and pass along any interesting facts I discovered. It was no surprise that breasts are a major topic on the Net but finding interesting facts about breasts was not as easy as finding the tens of thousands of photographs almost everywhere. Here are fifteen snippets of information I thought you might find interesting.
Man Boobs
A 53-year-old man Guo Qingpo, living in Shandong province, used to own the world’s biggest man boobs record. Guo Qingpo made a decision to have his breasts operated at a local hospital in Jinan, Beijing. After the 6-hour procedure, his 5-kilo breasts were successfully removed.
Current Implant Record Holder
In early 2009, Sheyla Hershey of Brazil was awarded the Guinness World Record for having the largest set of breasts. After nine surgeries and more than a gallon of silicone, her breasts are a size 38KKK.
Largest Natural Breasts
In modern times the world’s largest breasts belong to Norma Stitz (USA, born Annie Hawkins-Turner) who takes a size 56WW Bra. Norma holds the Guinness world record for having the biggest tits in the world.
Best Boob Artist
Kira Ayn Varszegi, aged 34 from Hartford, is an artist. She creates abstract works by using her 38DD breasts as a paintbrush. Kira covers her breasts in paint and then presses them against her canvases. She shares that a mixture of colors and angles in various different directions help to create her eye-catching works.
Left Breast is Usually Larger
No two breasts are exactly the same size, and it is usually your left breast that is bigger than the right side. However, often the difference is so slight you’d never notice they are of different sizes. Nipples also come in varying sizes, not only that, they also point in different directions.
British Boobs the Largest in Europe
A survey made by bra maker Triumph found that British women have the biggest boobs in Europe. More than half of women in that country wear a size D cup. Denmark scored second while Holland was third. On the other hand, Italian women had the smallest breasts where 68% had a size B.
Average Breast Weight
The average breast weighs about 0.5 kilograms (1.1 lb). Each breast contributes to about 4-5% of the body fat and thus 1% of the total body weight of an average woman.
Fat Breasts
In your 20s, your boobs are made up of fat, milk glands and collagen — the connective tissue that keeps them firm. But as you age, the glands and collagen shrink and are replaced by more and more fat. Instead of making your bra size go up, however, the added flab can send breasts down, closer to the floor, if you catch my drift.
Breasts Implant Saves Life
Big breasts miraculously saved an Israeli woman from death at the hands of a Lebanese paramilitary organization. The incident occurred during a Hezbollah rocket attack. The victim got a boob job two years ago. During the war, she was wounded in the chest by shrapnel but survived because of her implants. While the patient is fine, the implant, unfortunately, did not survive.
Orgasm via Breast Stimulation
The idea that women can achieve orgasm via breast stimulation alone has been put forward by Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot, a pair of high-profile sex educators and the authors of I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide. According to their findings, about 1% of women report the ability to achieve orgasm through manual stimulation of their breasts.
Cleavage
Two women with the same cup size may not always have cleavage of the same size. Woman’s breasts that have developed fuller in the middle will tend to have greater cleavage. A woman with an A or B cup but with breasts set naturally close together, can have nice cleavage as well.
Real or Not
More than 2 million women in the United States have breast implants. The average age a woman gets a boob job is 34 … 90% wait until after they have children. The majority of women go up about two cup sizes. Of course, implants still carry health risks, but that doesn’t stop 250,000 from going under the knife each and every year.
Let Sleeping Breasts Lie
Sleeping face-down won’t make your implants deflate, but it will change their shape over time. The best snooze style for your breasts is on your side with a pillow under them for support.
Extra Boobs
Extra breasts (or nipples, for that matter) is called polymastia. In 1886, one Professor Neugenbauer presented to the French Academy of Medicine a woman with ten individual lactating breasts. Three months later, Dr. P. J. Stoyanoff exhibited a 23-year-old Polish woman who also had eight additional boob, all of which secreted milk.
There you have it guys. Every thing you always wanted to know about breasts and breast implants. I hope you all appreciate the valuable time I invested reading all about breasts and looking at the thousands of pictures required to verify these facts. It was exhausting work but I know how important it was to get this information to all of you as quickly as possible. Oh yeah, I think my carpal tunnel syndrome is acting up again. The sacrifices I make for this blog.
If you read this blog then you know I’m not a proponent of organized religion. I’m trying to keep from going into a major rant on religion because I’ve done it too may times before. You also know that I love to read and love to roam around the Internet to keep up with things as best I can.
As I was doing that yesterday I discovered a few sites offering letters written to God by children of all ages. The letters were for the most part typical of young kids writing to almost anyone like Santa, the President, their Parents, and others. In the corner of one page I noticed a link to access a letter from God.
This intrigued me so I decided to check it out. It was a long and boring essay from God knows who that was made available for parents to use. You filled in a number of blanks with the kids information which then merged with the document and printed out a completed letter specifically to that child from God. I thought to myself, “Who would do something like this to their child”. Scaring the hell out of a young kid with tales of a wrathful God demanding prayers makes me very uncomfortable. I wonder how many of the world’s Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Christian, and Buddhist children were given similar letters or stories passed down through generations. I’m all for a good and wholesome religious message to kids but frightening them with tall tales is more than a little scary.
I was raised Catholic and part of my childhood education into religion was being told many things that disturbed me then and still do. I have issues with any religion that insists they are the only path to follow and will do almost anything to insure their flock stays loyal. Propagandizing kids has been done for generations and look where we’ve ended up. Some of the worst wars and mass killings throughout history were done in the name of religion, not your God but their God.
I continued looking around and found the following letter. It’s a multi-level guilt trip for your children that is intended to force them to pray. I guess most of the worlds largest religions use the same playbook for maintaining control. One of the most effective things is convincing the kids by any means necessary not to think for themselves but to obey the dictates of their church.
Here’s the letter. Would you send this to your children?
* * *
Hi,
As you got up this morning, I watched you and hoped you would talk to me, even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or thanking me for something good that happened in your life yesterday – but I noticed you were too busy trying to find the right outfit to put on and wear to work.
I waited again. When you ran around the house getting ready I knew there would be a few minutes for you to stop and say hello, but you were too busy. At one point you had to wait fifteen minutes with nothing to do except sit in a chair. Then I saw you spring to your feet. I thought you wanted to talk to me but you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest gossip.
I watched as you went to work and I waited patiently all day long. With all your activities I guess you were too busy to say anything to me. I noticed that before lunch you looked around, maybe you felt embarrassed to talk to me, that is why you didn’t bow your head.
You glanced three or four tables over and you noticed some of your friends talking to me briefly before they ate, but you didn’t. That’s okay. There is still more time left, and I have hope that you will talk to me…yet you went home and it seems as if you had lots of things to do. After a few of them were done you turned on the TV,
I don’t know if you like TV or not, just about anything goes there and you spent a lot of time each day in front of it, not thinking about anything – just enjoying the show. I waited patiently again as you watched the TV and ate your meal… but again you didn’t talk to me.
Bedtime – I guess you felt too tired. After you said goodnight to your family you plopped into bed and fell asleep in no time.
That’s okay because you may not realize that I am always there for you. I’ve got patience more than you will ever know. I even want to teach you how to be patient with others as well. I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayer or thought or a thankful part of your heart. It is hard to have a one-sided conversation.
Well you are getting up again and once again I will wait with nothing but love for you hoping that today you will give me some time.
Have a nice day!
Your friend,
GOD
P.S. Do you have enough time to send this to another person?
* * *
I have many other things to say on this subject but I’ll save them for another time.
The battle of the sexes has existed for as long as anyone can remember. If your a Christian it’s taught that women were made from a man’s rib and then couldn’t resist the temptations of the devil. Eve, the first woman, got the first man, Adam, thrown out of Paradise because of a lack of self-control. It’s a sad story but as in all ancient stories there is always a grain of truth. I’m not a big believer in religion or religious writings from hundreds or thousand years ago and prefer to make my own judgments based on what I know.
Let me qualify myself a little. My mother was a women. My sister was a woman. My grandmothers were women and many of my aunts and cousins were female. My many girl friends, lovers, and acquaintances were females. Why I was so enlightened that many of my pets were also female. I’ve had women work for me, with me, and on occasion I worked for them. I feel I have the right to voice an opinion or two about the war between the sexes because after being married for nineteen years I consider myself imminently qualified. It wasn’t the marriage that helped qualify me but the divorce. I learned a lot.
You probably think that I’m now going to rant about all of my bad experiences with the women in my life. I admit there have been a few but nothing I would care to bore you with. I’d rather fall back on the words of women and how they perceive themselves. Here we go.
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The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. Helen Hayes (at 73)
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There is no more creative force in the world than the menopausal woman with zest. Margaret Mead
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One is not born a woman, one becomes one. Simone DeBeauvoir
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A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. Carrie Snow
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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. Zsa Zsa Gabor
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A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t. Rhonda Hansome
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Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Charlotte Whitton
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Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I’m supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. Jan King
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You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. Erica Jong
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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. Laurie Kuslansky
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Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. Maryon Pearson
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man – if you want anything done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher
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I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home who answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night. Marie Corelli
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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. Eleanor Roosevelt
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I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it’s all a little bit lower. Gypsy Rose Lee
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. Erma Bombeck
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A woman’s rule of thumb: if it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it. Unknown
Many of these quotations are from women who are famous and even iconic. Read them, digest them, and make up your own mind. Nothing stated here surprised me in the least. Now let’s hear from a few men about themselves.
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God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams
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God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. Author Unknown
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Man is the only animal that blushes – or needs to. Mark Twain
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A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker. Chuang Tzu
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When a young man complains that a young lady has no heart, it’s pretty certain that she has his. George Dennison
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How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. Oscar Wilde
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When a man is in love he endures more than at other times; he submits to everything. Friedrich Nietzsche
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Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. Mark Twain
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Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking. Albert Einstein
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Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy Crystal
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Wise men are not always silent, but they know when to be. Proverb
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Every woman needs one man in her life who is strong and responsible. Given this security, she can proceed to do what she really wants to do – fall in love with men who are weak and irresponsible. Richard J. Needham
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Men play the game; women know the score. Roger Woddis
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I like men who have a future and women who have a past. Oscar Wilde
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There are two perfectly good men, one dead, and the other unborn. Chinese Proverb
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Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick himself up and carry on. Winston Churchill
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Men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget. Unknown
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Men are what their mothers made them. Ralph Waldo Emerson
This battle continues as it always has and always will with the same old complaints and wise cracks by both sides. It’s Mother Nature at her very best. It’s called the “mating ritual” by some experts but it all comes down to one thing. Yes, that’s right, you know exactly what I’m talking about, S..E..X! If your surprised by that statement then you must live in an isolated convent or monastery far from the civilized world. Either that or you’re a total idiot with a lack of common sense and no chance of getting laid.
The war continues.
I hope all of you celebrated that fantastic and relatively new national observance yesterday, International Nude Day. Forevermore the fourteenth of July will be naked day, a day for streaking or strutting your stuff on the nude beach of your choice. I suppose if your exceptionally brave you can give it a go on a normal public beach but it could get a little dicey. You can never forget just how prudish and hypocritical we citizens of the United States can be.
We love our porn, prostitution is flourishing, dozens of skin magazines are published every month, and revealing clothing is the order of the day with most fashion houses and clothing retailers. Adult Shops and peep shows are thriving but if any young mother attempts to feed her infant in public, she’s ridiculed and forced to cover her breast, baby, and sometimes her head so as not to embarrass or shock anyone. It’s just ridiculous.
Hypocrisy comes easily to righteous people who criticize others for what they do themselves. That’s why I’m surprised this observance was ever enacted. Here’s a short blurb explaining just what’s going on.
* * *
New Zealand’s (and now the world’s) National Nude day is not a public holiday but a day to celebrate the human form.
Brain child of former All Black and TV presenter Marc Ellis, National Nude Day (also now known as International Nude Day) is a celebration of the skin with much fun attached. The concept has been adopted by particularly Dunedin students (Scarfies) where getting nude is nothing new. Dunedin is a legend University City in the south of New Zealand.
Nude Day is a one day a year that all in NZ can celebrate nudeness, nakedness, being in the nuddy, running free in all your original raw beauty, putting on your best birthday suit. It’s day everyone can participate in, fat, skinny, big, small, firm, soft and the flabby can all get involved.
Everyone in the world celebrate your body and celebrate New Zealand and the Worlds Nude Day it’s liberating and it’s beautiful. Our bodies are the only things we own, be proud of them no matter what shape or size you are.
* * *
So lets all get out there, strip off some clothing and show the world how sophisticated we pretend to be. Just get two or three friends and waltz along a crowded beach in the buff and watch the fun begin. The police would appear almost immediately. Probably quicker for a “naked” call than for a double murder. There’d be screaming, finger pointing, and panic among those well disguised God Squad members wearing their bikinis and thongs. Is being naked all that much different than that. I don’t think so. Plan on a grand celebration next year. Naked, dancing, strutting, and proud.
Let’s start this week off with a few more tidbits of useless information to brighten your day. These items were collected from hither and yon and are interesting and yes even stupid.
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The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."
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The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the General Purpose" vehicle, GP.
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The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver."
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Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
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The world’s termites outweigh the world’s humans 10 to 1.
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On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
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No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
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There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
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Typing the word typewriter uses only letters from the top row of your keyboard.
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A 10 foot tall emu was spotted walking the streets of New York in 1973, it had accidently escaped from a circus that specialized in large exotic birds. When police questioned the circus owners they responded saying "George was constipated, so we thought a run around the grounds may help him feel better" Police fined the circus 25 dollars, and 5 months later a bi-law was passed stating that all emus within New York City must be on a leash.
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65% of statistics are made up.
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More people are killed annually by donkeys than in airplane crashes.
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A duck’s quack does echo, despite rumors to the contrary.
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Camels milk doesn’t curdle.
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Murphy’s oil soap is a chemical commonly used to wash elephants.
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Porcupines float in water.
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"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
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The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
I’s good to remember these factoids. Case in point, if you’re ever required to wash a freaking elephant you’ll know exactly the kind of soap to buy. Also, if you’re ever in NYC with your emu, you’ll know the law and buy a big assed leash. Who else but me would take time out of my busy day to let you known these things. Again, you’re welcome.
Earlier this week I spent some time ridiculing attorneys and criminal witnesses as to their unbelievable stupidity. I wouldn’t want anyone to think for a minute that my posting was meant to be malicious, just funny and ridiculous. I thought today I would include in my musings the behavior of really stupid criminals who make their attorney’s look like geniuses.
You have to admit that people who choose a life of crime aren’t too bright to start with. The following stories are actual tales about actual stupid criminals arrested within the last few years. You just can’t make this stuff up. Many years ago in my rookie year as a police officer my partner told me some valuable words of police wisdom. Since he was my training officer and had almost twenty-five experience on the job I listened intently. His philosophy about police work was this, "If it wasn’t for the stupid fucking criminals we’d never catch anyone." Here’s a few of them that were caught.
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A stupid thief pled guilty to the attempted robbery of a convenience store in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. The thief told a passerby he was going to rob the store, gave the man a dollar, and asked him to go inside and buy a scarf to help him hide his identity during the crime. The bystander took the dollar, went inside the store… and called the police.
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During a high school break-in in Plymouth, North Carolina, two really stupid burglars found a camera in one of the classrooms and amused themselves by taking pictures of each other committing the crime. When they couldn’t figure out how to get the film out of the camera, they concluded it wasn’t loaded and left it behind. The men apparently didn’t realize they’d been fooling around with a digital camera that allowed police to downloaded the snapshots to a computer and got a complete photographic record of the break-in. The suspects were quickly arrested.
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A woman reported her car stolen and mentioned there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the telephone and told the moron that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and was interested in buying the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
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A dumb ass criminal on trial for drug possession in Pontiac, Michigan, said he’d been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn’t need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher’s jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five minute recess to compose himself.
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A 21 year old idiot, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer felon-location equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for identification. He gave them his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later he was arrested because information on the screen showed a two-year-old armed robbery warrant from St. Louis, Missouri. A huge dumb ass.
What did I tell you? I guess my old training officer was right on the money with his advice. Some things are just wisdom for the ages.
As much as I dislike writing about politicians and politics, I do love reading information from noteworthy individuals who were either famous or infamous. When I see good quotations I squirrel them away for later use on this blog. With a beautiful weekend looming I’ve decided to keep things light and to pass a few of them along for your amusement. In these quotations attempts have been made to explain exactly what a politician is all about. My answer for that question is much harsher than theirs and quite possibly harsher than yours. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did because they seem to have the right idea explained in a more pleasing fashion.
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“Successful . . . politicians are insecure and intimidated men. They advance politically only as they placate, appease, bribe, seduce, bamboozle or otherwise manage to manipulate the demanding and threatening elements in their constituencies.”
Walter Lippman, The Public Philosophy, 1955
“A politician is . . . trained in the art of inexactitude. His words tend to be blunt or rounded, because if they have a cutting edge they may later return to wound him.”
Edward R. Morrow, Address, London Guildhall, 10/19/59
“A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the new generation.”
James Freeman Clark, Sermon, 1888
“The “press conference” is a politician’s way of being informative without saying anything. Should he accidentally say something, he has at his side a “press officer” who immediately explains it away by “clarifying” it.”
Emery Kelen, Platypus at Large, 1960
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Does any of this remind you of anyone currently holding office. I’ll just bet it does. As much as each generation thinks that everything it does or says is groundbreaking and earth shattering, they’re wrong. It’s all been done many times before but called something else by the more imaginative politicians and their speechwriters.
KNOW YOUR PAST
For most of my working life I’ve had the misfortune to work with hundreds of attorneys. Some great, some good, some average, some incompetent, and some just plain stupid. As the overall number of attorney’s increases the likelihood of hiring an incompetent or dumb attorney increases as well. My job working in state government for seven years placed me in an uncomfortable position directly between the accused defendants and a small army of public defenders. Talk about a rock and a hard place! A thankless job to be sure but OMG did I get an education. I think I actually learned more from the criminals than from their representatives.
I also was exposed to hundreds of witnesses whose sole purpose was either to help free an accused or to put him/her away for as long as possible. The only common denominator I found throughout the judicial and correctional systems was a massive amount of DUMB. These following quotes are actual statements between attorneys and people called to the witness stand in a plethora of criminal matters. Enjoy them and be glad they aren’t representing you.
Attorney: Did you ever sleep with him in New York?
Witness: I refuse to answer that question.
Attorney: Did you ever sleep with him in Chicago?
Witness: I refuse to answer that question.
Attorney: Did you ever sleep with him in Miami?
Witness: No
Attorney: What is your date of birth?
Witness: July 15.
Attorney:. What year?
Witness: Every year.
Attorney: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Witness: I forget.
Attorney: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?
Attorney: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Attorney: What did the tissue samples taken from the victim’s vagina show?
Witness: There were traces of semen.
Attorney: Male semen?
Attorney: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a disposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
Witness: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Believe me when I tell you that these are just the tip of the “stupid” iceberg when it comes to the criminal justice system. It’s no joke when someone tells you that the term “Criminal Justice System” is the ultimate oxymoron. It is scary stupid every minute of every day especially when you spend two days a week inside a jail. I spent during my time with the State Judicial Branch close to seven hundred days inside jails interviewing prisoners and watching the system at work. Every time I walked from a jail at the end of the day I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked God I was not incarcerated and needed no help from an attorney. DUMB AND DUMBER!
The rain in Maine is mostly a huge pain. This weather is continuing to wear on my nerves. Rain, rain, and more effing rain. I kind of feel like I’m living in India during the monsoon season. That lovely musty smell has now become the norm and I’m certainly not enjoying that at all. It would be nice to have three or four days of warm, non-humid weather that would allow the house and garage to dry out just a little. Unfortunately wishing doesn’t make it so.
Earlier this year I picked up a copy of Poor Richards Almanac for 2013 and I’m beginning to become a real believer. The almanac has been right on the money on the weather patterns for the last few months for this area. If their predictions continue to be as accurate this will be one of the wettest summers on record for Maine. Without a doubt it will be great for the garden but OMG. I already need a machete to walk through the garden and the amount of veggies is going to be huge.
I see many days of picking, cleaning, and canning of veggies like never before. We’re anticipating quantities of zucchini, cucumbers, and squashes that will be incredible. Thankfully we’re well prepared and have more than enough supplies to handle things. This year we may be canning a good quantity of mixed veggies with jalapeños to heat them up a little. Probably as many as sixty pints of hot Bread & Butter pickles and possibly some hot relish as well. It’s amazing just how much production we get from such a medium sized garden.
I grew two items this year that I ‘m experimenting with, mustard and curry. The mustard started off rather slowly but with all this rain the plants are almost three feet high now with brilliant yellow flowers. The leaves have the greatest taste and are making our salads much more flavorful. I should also be able to harvest enough seeds to make my first attempt at creating my own mustard. If that’s successful then I’ll plant at least three times as many plants next year. The curry was an aromatic plant which when dried will make one helluva good addition to our collection of cooking herbs.
My better-half has already started making her jams for the year. She just completed two batches of blueberry which is always the best. One of the batches was made with a new gadget we received as a gift. It’s sold by the Ball Company and made specifically for making jellies and jams. It the coolest thing ever. You put your crushed fruit into the cooking container, set the time, and it cooks the fruit until perfect. It then beeps four times to tell you when to add the sugar. It cooks a little longer, beeps once and then turns itself off. You then spoon it into jars and can as normal. Less mess and no possibility of cooking errors which have been an issue in the past. I can’t wait to try it with a few of my new experimental flavors once I get the recipes completed.
I’m still hoping for some dryer weather so some of the other crops can thrive as well but what can you do. Mother Nature cruises along at her own speed with absolutely no regard for us pitiful human beings.
I receive a few emails each week and unfortunately some of them are more than a little rude. The people who send those messages apparently don’t wish to have their user ID’s published in my Comments section. Every once in a great while I receive something that makes me smile and when that occurs I pass it along to you.
Recently I was sent the following information from an anonymous emailer. He claimed he likes reading my postings that contain quotations. He collected a few of his own from friends and other unknown sources and sent them along. In my opinion they seem more like bumper stickers than quotations but I’m forwarding them along on the side chance you’ll get a chuckle or two. I’m also really glad I don’t know any of this guys friends because some of these are sooooo freaking lame. Hold your nose with one hand and read on.
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A day without sunshine is like, night.
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I just got lost in thought and believe me It was unfamiliar territory.
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Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.
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99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry.
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It’ll be called You-Twit-Face.
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Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.
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Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
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Birds of a feather flock together, and crap on your car.
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I can resist everything except temptation.
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If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
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Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
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Born free, taxed to death.
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Smile, it makes people wonder what you’re thinking.
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In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
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Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think about it, neither does milk.
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In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
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Silence is golden… duck tape is silver.
The only one I really liked and appreciated was the last one on the list. For some reason that one just clicked for me. At first I laughed and then after thinking about it for a moment or two realized just how true it is and laughed again. Sometime it’s necessary to break up the day with a little silliness and that one did it for me.
So here’s a special thanks to Mr. Anonymous for his contribution. Next time send me some actual quotations because I love reading them too.
everyuselessthing.com 