Now that the Superbowl has come and gone we can all start living our normal lives again. Congrats to the Chiefs for pulling out a lucky win which I really didn’t care about anyway. A special thanks to Rhianna who is so hot I think I burned myself adjusting the volume knob. It’s nice to see a superstar showcasing her music instead of her body. It was a pleasant surprise. It’s the first Super Bowl half-time show I’ve ever watched from start to finish. She did herself proud and “Oh Yeah” . . . she’s also worth over a billion dollars. OMFG
Today I’ll be staying with a Sports theme, which will help to wean me off sports until baseball season gets started. I like baseball better than football, but their games are utterly boring to watch. I’ll just check the updated scores on Google and then watch the recaps on Facebook. No nasty comments please, I realize I’m a lazy fan but once again I.D.C. (I don’t care).
- Did you know that the sport of dodgeball has been banned by public schools in six U.S. states?
- The first recorded game of handball was played in the year 1427. That’s the first written mention of a game involving a ball being hit by hand against a wall.
- Did you know that the smallest NBA player ever was Tyrone Bogues. He stood 5 feet, 3 inches tall and played for 10 years with the Charlotte Hornets.
- After soccer, volleyball is the world’s second most played sport. An estimated 46 million Americans, and more than 800 million people worldwide, play volleyball at least weekly.
- The year 688 B.C. was when boxing first became an Olympic sport. It has been part of the modern Olympics since 1904 with women boxers competing for the first time at the 2012 Olympics in London.
- The square boxing platform is called a “ring” because in the ancient Greek and Roman Olympics the combatants met in a circular ring. They’ve been known as “rings” ever since.
- Did you know that the world record for longest time aloft of a successfully caught boomerang was 3 minute and 49 seconds.
- Early forms of baseball allowed throwing the ball at a runner for an out and pitching underhanded. Balls caught on one bounce were considered outs.
- President Theodore Roosevelt is credited with instituting the forward pass rule in football. He demanded a change to the rules in 1905, after 18 players were killed and 159 injured that year. The forward pass was intended to open up the game and minimize the chaotic dog piles associated with lateral passes. The rule was officially adopted in 1906.
- The Nerf football was invented by Fred Cox, a kicker for the Minnesota Vikings. He came up with the idea of a soft foam football while playing in the NFL. He still earns royalties on every Nerf football sold.
SPRING TRAINING STARTING SOON
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Today’s history lesson contains a few unusual occurrences as recorded by European media during the last 100 years. They are quirky and strange but nonetheless true. After reading some of these you can understand how we Americans are at times a bit bizarre as well. We get it honestly from many previous generations from the Continent.
- On April 14, 1930, the Russian poet Vladimir Mayakovsky shot himself. In his suicide note he said, “I do not recommend it for others.”
- In 1931 the Spanish tennis player Lily de Alvarez Shop the tennis world when she appeared at Wimbledon wearing a divided skirt (culottes), the forerunner of shorts.
- On October 23, 1933, a temperature inversion trapped fog and smog over London, obliterating the sun and causing total darkness at midday.
- On December 24, 1935, the death of the avant-garde Austrian composer Alban Berg from an insect bite was reported.
- In 1936 King Edward VIII once avoided what he thought might be an awkward interview with his private secretary by jumping out of a window of Buckingham palace and running away to hide in the garden.
- On July 21, 1937, at six o’clock in the evening, all BBC transmitters and post office wireless telegraph and wireless telephone stations in the British Isles closedown for 2 minutes, to coincide with the funeral of Guglielmo Marconi the inventor of the radio.
- On June 1, 1938, the Hungarian playwright Odon von Horvath, who had lived in fear of being struck by lightning all of his life, was killed in Paris when a branch fell on his head during a thunderstorm.
- In 1939 a patent application was lodged for the “Wind Bag”, designed for receiving and storing gas formed by the digestion of foods. A tube linked the rectum led to a collection chamber, while the device was held in place under one’s clothes by a belt.
- In 1940 during the height of the German spy scare, a vicar’s daughter in Winchester reported the British officer billeted with them to the authorities on the grounds of his suspiciously foreign behavior. The man had failed to flush the toilet.
- On July 23, 1943, Eric Brown, blew up his paralyzed father by attaching a landmine to his wheelchair. He later explained to the court that he had not liked his father’s attitude. Brown was eventually declared insane.
I’ve posted about many odd and strange things that have taken place in the United States, and I think it’s only fair that these postings today give our European forefathers credit for some of their weirdness.
BE WEIRD, BE ODD, AND BE PROUD
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It’s time for me to try and convince you non-limerick lovers that they can be something other than lewd and bawdy. They’re fun to create and even more fun to read when written by members of the younger generations. Here are a few written by and for children. Enjoy!
There once was a young chap from Eugene.
Who grew so abnormally lean,
And flat and compressed
That his back met his chest,
And, viewed sideways, he couldn’t be seen!
😗😗😗
A sea serpent saw a big tanker.
Bit a hole in its side and then sank her.
He swallowed the crew
In a minute or two,
And then picked his teeth with the anchor.
😊😊😊
There was a young bather from Bewes,
Who reclined on the banks of the Ouse.
His radio blared,
And passers-by stared,
For all he had on was the news!
🙃🙃🙃
There are men in the village of Erith
Whom nobody seeth or heareth.
They spend hours afloat
In a flat-bottomed boat,
Which nobody roweth or steereth.
🤩🤩🤩
And here’s one final extra limerick for a nurse I once knew.
Believe me, this limerick is understating her illness. LOL
❤️
Jo Beth went to the doctor last night,
Rather hoping he’d help with her plight.
What she said, whilst bent double.
“It’s farting that’s the trouble.”
And what did he give her? A kite!
*****
DON’T WORRY, THE WEEKEND IS IN SIGHT
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People love coming up with odd names or nicknames for just about everything. Even if a real name already exists, someone will attempt to create a nickname for it. I remember one from my childhood that was used to replace the term “bad breath” and it was “doggie breath”. We were stupid kids but never passed up an opportunity to create what would be considered a wise-ass replacement name. “Tubby’ was the skinny kid, “Slim” was the fat kid, and “brainiac” was the dumb ass. Why we felt the need to change the names of things that don’t need to be changed, who knows. Here are a few examples from history to further make my point without answering the big question, “Why do we do it?”.
- The U.S. nickname “Uncle Sam” was derived from Uncle Sam Wilson, a meat inspector in Troy New York. During the war of 1812, Wilson’s “U.S.” stamped on meat barrels prepared for the U.S. Army was interpreted by some workmen to stand for their boss, “Uncle Sam” and the legend grew. (In newspaper cartoons during the Civil War, the figure of Uncle Sam took on the appearance of President Lincoln.)
- During his career, Vladimir Ilyich Ulanov employed at least 150 pseudonyms. The best-known was Lenin. (1870-1924).
- The most common name in the world is neither Ching nor John. It’s Muhammad.
- The original name for the United Nations was “Associated Powers”. Prime Minister Winston Churchill affected the change to “United Nations” by quoting Lord Byron to President Roosevelt.
Millions of pounds recorded the, and anew.
Their children’s lips shall echo them, and say –
Here, where the sword united nations drew,
Our countrymen were worrying on that day!
And this is much, and all which will not pass away.”
- Natives of Papua, New Guinea, who deposit their money in the bank at Port Moresby don’t get numbered accounts. Instead, they are identified by the names of fish and birds and other natural objects. One bank customer is called “sawfish” and another “hornbill”. Each depositor keeps his symbol secret.
- The male Mayan Indian would change his name twice as he was growing up. His original name was linked with the date he was born. He would get a new name, describing a personal feature, when he was initiated into manhood. On marrying, he would take on his formal name.
- A book of maps is called an atlas because the innovative 16th-century Flemish geographer Gerard S. Mercator’s books of maps detailing various portions of Europe sported on its cover a picture of the Greek titan Atlas holding the world on his shoulders – and thus this book became known as an atlas.
- When Adolf Hitler was in charge in Germany, policemen and farmers were not allowed to call their horses by the name “Adolf”.
- In 1935, “Iran” became the new name for what had been Persia, which was the new name for what had earlier been Iran.
- There are an estimated 2.4 million people in the US named Smith, and over 1.8 million named Johnson, and over 1.6 million named Williams or Williamson, and over 1.4 million named Brown, and over 1.3 million named Jones. Keeping up with the Joneses would appear to be easier than keeping up with the Smiths.
As a kid, my given name was John. You can’t get much more boring than just John but that didn’t keep my friends from calling me just that, “Just John”. I had another nickname, “Crazy Legs” but the explanation for that one will remain a deep and dark secret that I’ll take to my grave. LOL
“A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD SMELL AS SWEET”
Shakespeare
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Welcome to installment #9. These questions are a little more intense but very interesting answers should be forthcoming. And for those of you who feel these questions are dark and threatening, here’s one for you tamer or lamer folks: How many cute and furry puppies must you save from a fate worse than death to be considered a true pet lover? LOL
Let’s get going!
*****
- If you were able to wake up tomorrow in the body of someone else, would you do so? Whom would you pick?
- If you are happily married, and then met someone you felt certain would always bring you deeply passionate, intoxicating love, would you leave your spouse? What if you had kids?
- When you do something ridiculous, how much does it bother you to have other people notice it and laugh at you?
- Who is the most important person in your life? What could you do to improve the relationship? Will you ever do it?
- Assuming that complete recovery was instantaneous, would you be willing to accept a year of complete paralysis below the neck to prevent the otherwise certain extinction of the blue whale?
*****
- Do you believe in capital punishment? Would you be willing to execute a man sentenced to death by the courts if you were selected by lot to do so and he would go free if you refused? Assume you know no details of the trial.
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- You are at a lake with some friends; the sun is warm, and the water is cold. Going into the water would temporarily chill you but you knew that later on the warm sun would be even more enjoyable and you’d be glad you had gone in. Would you take the plunge?
- Do you believe in any sort of God? If not, do you think you might still pray if you were in a life-threatening situation?
- While out one day, you are surprised to see your mother holding hands with someone who is clearly her lover. She notices you, runs over, and begs you not to say anything to your father. How would you respond? What would you do if your father later told you that he was going crazy because he kept thinking your mother was having an affair yet knew it was just his imagination?
*****
- If 100 people your age were chosen at random, how many do you think you’d find leading a more satisfying life than yours?
- If you went to a beach and it turned out to be a nude beach, would you stay and go swimming? Would you swim nude?
- Have you had satisfying sex within the last three months?
- Would it disturb you much if, upon your death, your body were simply thrown into the woods and left to rot? Why?
- Which would you prefer: a wild, turbulent life filled with joy, sorrow, passion, and adventure – intoxicating successes and stunning setbacks; or a happy, secure, predictable life surrounded by friends and family without such wide swings of fortune and mood?
*****
IF THESE QUESTION DON’T PROVOKE DISCUSSION, NOTHING WILL!
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It’s painfully obvious to me that the month of February is boring. The craziest solution to liven up February is to assign ridiculous holidays and commemorative days to keep us all from diving off the nearest bridge. The following list is only a portion of the things assigned to February.
February 1, 2023 – National Freedom Day
February 2, 2023 – Groundhog Day
February 9, 2023 – National Pizza Day
February 12, 2023 – Lincoln’s Birthday
February 12, 2023 – Super Bowl 2023 / Super Bowl LVII
February 14, 2023 – St. Valentine’s Day
February 9-20, 2023 – Chicago Auto Show
February 20, 2023 – Washington’s Birthday / Presidents’ Day
February 21, 2023 – Mardi Gras Carnival in New Orleans, LA
February 21, 2023 – Fat Tuesday / Shrove Tuesday, Day before Lent
February 22, 2023 – Ash Wednesday
*****
That being said, here is a reposting of mine concerning Ground Hog Day and the insanity of living in western Pennsylvania.
This holiday means only one thing in Pennsylvania and that is the appearance of our old friend ‘Punxatawney Phil’ on Gobbler’s Knob. He’s scheduled to show his furry little face on the second of February every year to let us know whether we’ll have six more weeks of winter.
To reminisce a bit, way too many years ago I was a rookie state police trooper in Pennsylvania. To a newbie that means getting stuck with every crappy police detail they can find for you. One of the crappier of those was being sent to Punxatawney to guard “Phil” and for crowd control in and around Gobbler’s Knob. I thought they were kidding but they weren’t.
A few of us rookies were ordered to make the trek to Punxatawney, PA along with a veteran sergeant who must have lost the coin toss. We arrived in our cleanest and well pressed uniforms, met with all of the local politicians, and then were introduced to ‘Phil”’. He was cordial enough for a stupid gopher, but we were well advised to keep our hands away from him. He was a touch cranky and known to nip off a finger or two if provoked.
Believe it or not the crowds were huge. I’ve never understood why every local politician from miles around flocks to that ceremony. I guess they’re just hoping to get some free TV facetime or maybe even an interview with some of the local media. I met some mayors, some councilmen, and a few political hacks which unfortunately weren’t even as interesting as meeting ‘Phil’.
The only good thing I experienced that day was a rather buxom news reporter from a nearby town who took an immediate liking to my manly stature and my pretty uniform. She was much less furry than ‘Phil’ which was a plus and she also paid for my dinner. She even convinced me that dating her was the right thing to do. So, I did.
It’s sad to say but we all know any relationship built upon a Groundhog Day Ceremony was doomed from the start. She couldn’t understand why I didn’t care to drive to Punxatawney (a three hour round trip) every weekend. I finally explained to her that long distance relationships just never work out no matter what. It wasn’t her it was me. I dragged out all of the old clichés I could remember and disappeared from her life.
FEBRUARY IS NUTS!!
SO ARE PENNSYLVANIANS
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This morning has started off strangely. Fifteen seconds after I sat down at the computer the power went out. I’ve lost all power in the house except for a few limited outlets hooked into the generator. It maintains all of the most important functions of the house like heat and water and thankfully this computer. I’ll be writing this in the dark with no way to upload the content until sometime later today (I hope). Maine has been having a rash of storms in recent weeks and the power grid has been damaged in many areas. I have to admit, this shit is getting really old and all of my bitching and complaining won’t help. Let’s move on to something a little more interesting.
I post a lot of limericks of all types. Some of you like them cute and funny, some like the children’s limericks and some others prefer the more bawdy and suggestive ones. Truthfully, I enjoy them all when the circumstances permit. Today I’ll pass along a few of the milder and sillier ones that won’t scare the children or any adults with delicate sensibilities.
😛😛😛
A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd.
She was frightened and screamed very loud.
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter,
She sat up in bed and meowed.
😏😏😏
A young man dining out in Peru
Found a rather large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout
And wave it about
Or the rest will be wanting one too!”
😊😊😊
There were three little birds in the wood
Who sang hymns anytime that they could.
What the words were about
They could never make out,
But they felt it was doing them good.
🙃🙃🙃
A glutton who lived on the Rhine
When asked at what time he would dine,
He replied, “At eleven,
Four, six, three and seven,
And eight and a quarter to nine.”
😎😎😎
Well finally some good news. The power has been turned on (for how long I couldn’t guess) and I’ll get this posted as quickly as possible.
BROWNCOATS RULE!!
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Here’s a collection of peculiar trivia mixed in with some interesting quotes from somewhat interesting people. It’s a good way to start your somewhat interesting work week. Have fun . . .
“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” Eleanor Roosevelt
- In the spring of 1930, the Senate almost voted to ban all dial telephones from the Senate wing of the Capital, as the technophobic older senators found them too complicated to use.
- Commercial deodorant became available in 1888. Roll-on deodorant was an invented in the 1950s, using technology from standard ballpoint pens.
- Before Popeye, Olive Oyl’s boyfriend was named Ham Gravy.
- Three presidents died on the 4th of July: Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and James Monroe.
- The world goes through approximately 1.75 billion candy canes every year.
“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” Vince Lombardi
- Like plants, children grow faster during spring than any other season.
- The aboriginal body consists of approximately 71 pounds of intentionally edible meat, not including organ tissue.
- British geologist William Buckland was known for his ability to eat anything, including rodents and insects. When presented with the heart of French King Louis XIV, he gobbled it up without hesitation.
- Male lions are able to make 50 or more times in a single day. Tell your husband.
- It took more than 1700 years to build the Great Wall of China.
“Carpe per diem“– means seize the check – so says Robin Williams
- In an ironic twist, Mel Blanc, best known as the voice of Bugs Bunny, had an aversion to raw carrots.
- Australian toilets are designed to flush counterclockwise.
- Mr. Potato Head holds the honor of being the first toy ever featured in a television commercial.
- If you add up all the time you blink during the day, you’d have about half an hour of shut-eye.
- John Lennon was the first person to be featured on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.
“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.” Paul McCartney
SEIZE THE DAY
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I thought I’d introduce you to something new today. I’ve posted hundreds of limericks over the years, and they were all basically the five-line standard. Another style of limerick is the extended limerick which are a bit longer than you normally see and more challenging to write. Here are two samples:
By Anonymous
There once were two cats of Kilkenny.
Each thought there was one too many,
So, they quarreled and fit,
They scratched and they bit,
Till, excepting their nails
And the tips of their tails,
Instead of two cats, there weren’t any!
😛😛😛
By Anonymous
There was a strange student from Yale.
Who put himself outside the pale.
Said the judge:” Please refrain,
When passing through Maine,
From exposing yourself in in the train,
Or you’ll just have to do it in jail!”
😗😗😗
In my opinion they aren’t as exciting as a normal limerick, but many people disagree. Now let’s take a look at what’s called a prose limerick. It’s a totally different style but I enjoy these very much because of the narrative way they are written.
By Anonymous
When cars are left here for repair, our charges are modest and fair. And
owners may rest quite content that we test all work that is done with great care.
😊😊😊
In the shed at the end of the mews there’s a bucket of old bolts and screws, and
right at the back you will see a large stack of old junk that perhaps you can use.
🤩🤩🤩
The train that was due to depart at 8:10 is not likely to start. We’re
working to rule, you’d best get a mule or a bike or a horse and a cart.
***
TRY WRITING A FEW OF YOUR OWN
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Installment eight continues this series of posts designed to promote discussion and thought through self-examination. I hope it’ll generate some interesting discussions between you, your friends, and partners. Without interesting people in our lives and a lack of interesting conversations things would become excruciatingly boring.
Also, for those of you who are interested, starting today this blog will no longer be posted daily. I’ve decided to cut back a little to allow for more time for other projects. It’s been more than twelve years of daily postings and I’ll miss that part of my routine. I’m immediately cutting back to three postings a week, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays beginning today. Now let’s get on with Self-Examination #8.
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates
*****
- Do you usually make a special effort to thank someone who does you a favor? How do you react when you aren’t thanked for going out of your way for someone?
- Would you like to have your rate of physical aging slowed by a factor of thirty so as to give you a life expectancy of approximately 2000 years?
- You are invited to a party that will be attended by many fascinating people you’ve never met. Would you want to go if you had to go by yourself?
- Since adolescence, in what three-year period do you feel you experienced the most personal growth and change?
- If you were having difficulty on an important test and could safely cheat by looking at someone else’s paper, would you do so?
*****
- If your parents became infirm and the only alternative to bringing them into your house was to put them in a nursing home, would you do so? What about a sister or brother who suffered a permanently crippling injury and had nowhere to go?
- If you were at a friend’s house for Thanksgiving dinner and you found a dead cockroach in your salad, what would you do?
- If you could take a one-month trip to anywhere in the world and money were not a consideration, where would you go and what would you do?
- Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five years to become extremely attractive?
- Given the ability to project yourself into the past but not return, would you do so? Where would you go and what would you try to accomplish if you knew you might change the course of history?
*****
- How many different sexual partners have you had in your life? Would you prefer to have had more or fewer?
- Have you ever considered suicide? What is so important to you that without it life would not be worth living?
- If your friends and acquaintances were willing to bluntly and honestly tell you what they really thought of you, would you want them to?
- If this country were to suffer an unprovoked nuclear attack and would be totally obliterated in a matter of minutes, would you favor unleashing the US nuclear arsenal upon the attackers?
- Would you accept $10,000 to shave your head and continue your normal activities without hat or wig without explaining the reason for the new haircut?
*****
ENJOY YOUR DAY
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