Archive for the ‘maine’ Tag
Mother Nature just can’t or won’t leave us alone. The early part of today was clear and really cold but livable. I was able to have a few warm hours this morning after the sun came up and rapidly heated the house. I had a quick breakfast of tasty cinnamon buns homemade by my better-half which were excellent. She’s been fine tuning her recipe for a week and has finally found the magic. A good hot cup of coffee with warm buns heated for a few seconds in the microwave, Yum!
She was off to work early as I prepared to do a bit of electrical rewiring in the room I’m remodeling. I removed the existing ceiling insulation, drilled the appropriate holes in the joists, and replaced the box in the center of the ceiling with a reinforced box that will hold the weight of the fan slated to be installed there. This house in just over twenty years old and nothing is easy. As soon as you start any project it immediately turns into what can only be described as a huge pain in the ass. The builders seemed to have cut corners at every turn and now I have to try and fix things as they’re discovered.
The insulation was installed without a vapor barrier which is a no-no and it’s also so old that it’s easily torn. What a freaking nightmare. Before I can do much of anything else I’ll be forced to replace all of the insulation and then install a good vapor barrier which wasn’t included in my original budget for this project. I’ve just had my project extended by a few days and a few hundred dollars which makes me really unhappy but not at all surprised.
I also removed an electrical outlet in the wall near the door that appeared dead. Tracing the wires didn’t help much when after a half hour and fifteen feet later I discovered they weren’t attached to any thing. They’d been rolled up and shoved behind the insulation probably fifteen or twenty years ago. Another little tweak of my nose by this freaking house.
After five hours I called it quits, sat down and enjoyed a good hot cup of coffee. Then Mother Nature reared her ugly head once again and began to pour on the snow. It was a light snow but it lasted for almost six hours.
The better-half made it home safely from work, we had a quiet meal, and kicked back for a while. She’s scheduled early in the morning tomorrow so she headed off to bed early. I donned my winter outfit and headed outside to clear the driveway of snow before retiring. Thank God for that new snow thrower. I cleared the driveway in rather short order just after 8:00 pm so the better-half wouldn’t have issues in the morning.
Now that she’s in bed I have a few minutes to read a couple of chapters. I need to keep up with the adventures of Detective Eve Dallas, a NYC cop in the year 2056.
The construction weather report looks grim for tomorrow. I’m expecting a huge amount of aggravation, followed by a host of nicks and cuts, and the occasional moments of intense profanity and general yelling.
I love my life.
Shopping in January. The temperature is nineteen degrees with a wind chill of nine degrees. Are we effing crazy? That would be a huge yes. We were out of the house running errands where we rode around in a nice warm car, would run into a nice warm store, and then return to the nice warm car. Sounded like an excellent plan to me but then again, what the hell do I know. Out of the blue my better-half decided to let me know she was jonesing for fresh crabs. Could we swing by the docks in Portland to the fish market and pick up a few? What was I going to say?
As we entered the city there were a surprising number of people roaming the streets. There must have been some kind of political protest going on because we saw a number of folks carrying their home-made signs and waving at passing traffic. It’s nice to see that those “Occupy Portland” idiots have found something to do through the winter. Fortunately the turnout must have been rather low because there didn’t appear to be any delays with traffic flow.
If you’ve ever been to Portland, Maine you must be aware of the constant parking problems. It’s ten times worse in the winter when a large number of parking slots are filled with piles of snow and ice. We got lucky and found a spot after 15 minutes of cruising around. They still get to take a shot at you for parking violations due to a stupid two hour limit on their meters. I firmly believe that the town council and politicians are paid from the parking ticket fund. I saw no less than four meter readers (parking Nazi’s) on one street dropping $25.00 tickets everywhere.
My better-half had the audacity to say “I think we should walk around for a while.” My only reply was “Are you kidding me, it’s effing cold out here. Find a store and go in.” So she did. We were then in and out of a handful of odd little shops with off-beat merchandise and really high prices. We found a place called Pandemonium which is the ultimate shopping experience for over priced crap. I again was placed in a position where I had no choice but to buy something. I found an ugly little pig clock for my better-half’s Valentines Day gift and a bottle of habanero hot sauce with a really scary warning label. The cost of those two items could have kept my car gassed up for two weeks. Highway robbery!
I could see in her eyes what was coming next. It was two in the afternoon and she was dreaming of those stupid crabs and a cold beer. We swung by the fish market where I remained in the car. I hate going in there because even on a good day the smell is awful. She was back in a wink with no crabs. Apparently it’s too cold for crabs too and there were none available, Boo Hoo!
We then arrived at a local tavern, Three Dollar Dewey’s, that we visit whenever we’re in town. A quick drink, some fish and chips, and then home.
I have to admit it was fun to get out of the house for a while. I have one additional question for you women out there. What would possess any women into going out into this cold weather wearing only a cardigan sweater, a pair of black, skin tight leotards, and a pair of Ugg boots. I saw at least four women dressed in that outfit scurrying along bitching and complaining about the cold. I’ve always said I didn’t understand women and I still don’t. You could freeze your Who-Ha right off if you had one.
We’re still in the freezer here in Maine like a lot of other places around the country. It’s another stay in, stay warm, and stay at home nite for sure. I have a few things I need to get done today including a general cleanup of the house since we’re having guests for dinner tonight.
Shish-kabobs are on the menu so a little marinating is required for the meat and blah . . blah . . blah. That sounds almost as boring to me as it must to you. I spent a few morning hours on the computer answering emails and visiting some of my favorite blogs. It’s amazing the amount of diversity that can be found on WordPress. If I’m not disciplined I can spend hours just roaming around randomly reading everything in sight.
I also need to log a little X-box time today to calm my nerves and relax a bit. Our guests this evening are serious gamers who take no prisoners in any activity they participate in and I assume the X-box will be involved.
My better-half arrived from work in mid-afternoon and began a flurry of activity before the guests arrived. As always I did my part by cracking open a bottle of Chardonnay to assist me in my supervisory capacity. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it and I’m always first in line.
The guests arrived right on time and before I realized it we were on the X-box for a raucous darts tournament. I did my best to win but it just wasn’t meant to be. I was beaten like the proverbial rented mule and in damn short order by my better-half. Don’t you just hate people who spend all of their time telling you how bad they are at something and then proceed to kick your ass? It’s like rubbing salt into the wounds as far as I’m concerned. It was a disappointing way to start the evenings activities but I’m not demoralized just yet.
The dinner was excellent but for me it was just an minor annoyance before the Hearts games began. Playing Hearts with these guests can be a little like armed combat. We take no prisoners and offer no mercy whatsoever. We’ve played Hearts with them for years and the competition is as fierce now as it was the first nite we played. For a change I managed to prevail with a decisive win and was exceptionally kind in my victory offering no smartass wise cracks or fake sympathy to the losers. It’s always great to win and a big hooray for me.
More snacks and drinks then it’s back to the freaking X-box for a round of fun yet vicious bowling. I should have stopped while I was ahead because I was crushed without mercy. Well, at least I won something tonight.
These game nights are a great deal of fun and it’s something we’ve always enjoyed. They’re especially nice during cold snaps like this where going out is problematic. Staying in and sharing a few relaxing hours with friends is as good as it gets. It wasn’t a late night which then gave us some quiet time to relax a little before heading to bed. I think the kitchen cleanup will have to wait until tomorrow because I’m suffering from a real lack of interest.
Check the doors and locks, turn on the electric blanket, and snuggle in for a few chapters of my new book. Tomorrow is another day.
Winter has returned with a vengeance here in Maine. It’s not snow this time but frigid cold. The wind chill has been below zero for a few days which means I don’t leave this house unless it’s on fire. These are the days when my list of winter projects becomes important.
After I finished reading the entire collection of Harry Potter books two weeks ago I then decided I wanted to see all of the movies now that I had a better understanding of the story line. Yesterday was the start of my Harry Potter movie marathon made possible by a grant made to me by my better-half’s daughter. I have in my hot little hand all of the HP movies in Blue Ray, I effing love it. This weather made it possible for me to watch the first three movies without much interruption yesterday.
One big surprise though, my better-half sat in for a few minutes at the beginning of movie number 4 and became mesmerized. She watched that entire movie and loved it. I was informed last night that I wasn’t to watch any of the other films unless she was here to watch them with me. I didn’t mind that too much since I actually like having her around most of the time. Besides if I happen to remain quiet and really still she’s likely to be the first person to raid the kitchen and make us popcorn.
The marathon will continue later tonight but this morning I’m back in the kitchen making a batch of hot and spicy barbecue sauce. If I manage it properly I can have it made, canned, and on the shelf before my better-half returns home from work. I’ll return shortly. . . .
(Time Passing)
Well I’m back and the sauce has been made and canned. The cleanup is actually easier since I made a smaller batch than normal. I was able to can 16 half pints of sauce with each one holding enough for a meal of chicken wings or a meat of choice. It was a newly developed recipe which offers a lot of flavor and a medium amount of heat. I decided to ease up on the heat since most of this batch will be given to friends and family. I’ll make a smaller batch in a few weeks which will be much hotter and more to our taste.
I’m just sitting here now waiting for the better-half to arrive. I went outside to check the mail earlier and OMG is it freaking cold. The deck is making gun shot noises as the nails are popping from the temperature. The first time made me jump a bit but the poor cat is going crazy. He no sooner gets to sleep then BANG. It’s harshing his buzz and making him extremely cranky.
Tomorrow is another day in paradise.
In the past I’ve complained about certain things in New England that bother me and I’m going to do it all over again today. There are times when I’m just plain embarrassed to be living in Maine. I was born and raised in the mill towns and bars of western Pennsylvania where the people take great pride in themselves in almost everything they do. They love their Steelers, their Pirates, and their down-to-earth common sense approach to all things. I’m most proud of a dying “art form” superbly represented by the people there, world class cussing. It’s learned at an early age but takes many years of practice to really do it justice.
At age three I was sitting on a street corner in Natrona, Pa. with my grandfather and his buddies who paid me nickels and pennies to repeat cuss words. I don’t specifically remember those days but I’ve been told by numerous people over the years who remember them all too well. If by chance I uttered the occasional F-Bomb, I’d get a quarter and possibly an ice cream cone. So you have to admit I come by cussing honestly, it’s a family tradition.
Off course we all were raised as Steelers fans and if you didn’t curse loudly and often enough while watching their games then you were a goddamn traitor. You’d better be ready to voice your support for those Steelers loud and long as they kicked the shit out of those pussies from Cleveland and those cocksuckers from Texas. It takes a special knack to string numerous cuss words together for maximum effect and we have it.
Western Pennsylvania isn’t known for ethnic diversity but it should be. We lived in menagerie of Irish, Polish, Slovaks, Blacks, Italians, Asians, and the occasional Hispanic. To be a professional cusser in our neighborhood you had to learn cuss words from at least six languages just to be properly understood. We were all well on our way to being linguists of a sort in grade-school. We were the fucking UN of goddamn cusswords and proud of it.
I’ve lived in Maine now for more than ten years and I have to say that the cussing here is a little more laid back than I’m used to. A little too polite and prissy for a boy from fucking Pennsylvania. I actually look forward to trips back home where I can walk into a bar after twenty-five years in New England and have someone say, “Hey who let that motherfucker with the weird accent in here and is he buying the next goddamn round?”. It’s just not the same here in Maine. Two F-bombs in one sentence seems to be too much for Maine sensibilities. I think it’s the wrong headed French influences emanating from our neighbor to the north. Well hell, if they don’t fucking like my style of cussing they can kiss my big fucking ass.
Just saying.
Finally a day without snow or sleet or rain. I really wish good old Mother Nature could make up her mind on these things. Maine has always been known for unpredictable weather but in recent years it’s been a little stranger than normal. The snow has finally stopped, the sun is shining, and the temperature has dropped into the teens. A perfect winter day for taking photographs and walking in the woods.
I loaded my snow shoes and camera into the car and away I went. I did a two mile walk through the woods along the Scarborough Marsh. It’s an eleven hundred acre marsh bordering on the ocean and it’s surrounded by woods and a large variety of wildlife. Today the wildlife was scarce because of the deep snow but there were still plenty of tracks of many of the smaller animals who don’t weigh enough to sink into the snow.
I was able to take quite a few photos and I think some of them are really decent. Unfortunately it was cold enough that my camera became a little sluggish and I was forced to keep it inside my clothing to keep it warm and operational. The wind chill is around eight degrees but the good thing is a hard crust is forming on the snow. By tomorrow I won’t be needing any clunky snowshoes to get around.
I did find a few of the stupider ducks who must have forgotten to go south for the winter. There were about twenty of them huddled along the shore in the freezing water having a meeting to elect a new navigator. The one they have must be a moron.
I did catch a quick look at my nemeses, the big fat barn owl I’ve been trying to get photos of forever. He’s always around but never sitting still or close enough for me to a good shot. I keep telling myself, be patient, and I’ve been telling myself that for almost two years. He’s either extremely lucky or just a lot smarter than I am.
The cold finally began getting to me and I retreated back to my car. It just felt so damn good to get out into the woods without worrying about hunters mistaking me for a cow or some other animal. I did see quite a few deer tracks but noting fresh. I’d love nothing better than a nice clear picture on a nice clear day of a deer standing alone in the snow. I’m sure to see a few before the winter ends and hopefully I’ll get lucky soon. Who knows.
I’m back home now and thawing out a little. I need to take a quick shower and then answer a few emails before dinner. My better-half’s been craving chicken wings for days and she’d better be using my wing sauce in her preparations or there’ll be hell to pay.
All in all a pretty good day. I got out of the house for a few hours, walked in the woods, got some fresh air, and took a nice collection of photos. I’ll take this kind of day any time.
Another day spent dealing with snow. Me and my best friend, my new snow thrower, spent some quality time together this morning trying to keep up with a minor snow storm that dumped another four inches of snow on us. I can’t begin to tell you what a great purchase that snow thrower was for me. I was initially telling everyone that if I bought one it might never snow again. As usual my cynical side got the best of me. It’s only the middle of January and I’ve already used it three times and I’m sure there’s more coming.
My better-half is off today and it’s been "task" day for her and by association also for me. Clean this, dust that, pick up those, and on and on it goes. At least in the summer I can escape from these kind of days by taking my camera and disappearing, with her or without her. This snow just complicates matters making disappearing much more difficult. Thankfully our home is large enough where I can actually disappear for short periods and she can’t seem to find me.
After her frenzy of cleaning we made our obligatory visit to the local Walmart. It’s always a fun place to visit when you just want to get out of the house before you scream out loud. Walmart never disappoints no matter when you visit.
We got to the parking lot and between the piles of snow and the puddles of melting snow it was a real mess. I took maybe ten steps from my car and found my first Walmart surprise of the day, a wadded up pair of what appeared to be well worn panty hose just lying there looking up at me. I normally see something like that and then try to imagine under what circumstances someone either throws away or drops their panty hose in a Walmart parking lot. Did some careless woman open her purse to put her panties back on and drop her panty hose. Maybe it was a couple of Walmart associates taking their mid-day break for a quickie in the car. Maybe it was a couple of extremely horny customers who just had to take a jump in the Walmart lot so they could brag to their friends about it. The possibilities are endless but also quite entertaining.
As I entered the store the greeter as always woke up just long enough to hand me a flyer of some sort and then nodded off again. He was a fine looking specimen who was probably seventy years old but looked a hundred. The place was packed as usual with quite the assortment of customers who always seem to be clogging the specific aisle where I’m shopping. I tried to cut down a side aisle to avoid some of them and nearly tripped over some mid-twenties woman sitting on the floor with all her belongings strewn around her reading a freaking magazine. She gave me that look like I was the person doing something wrong. Being the calm and relaxed person that I am I politely asked in my best Walmart voice "Are you sure you have enough room?" I hate when people attempt to ignore me as she tried to do so I continued with "Could you please more your ass so I can get by?" Again I got “the look” but she finally gathered her possessions and moved along. She left the magazine lying on the floor because God forbid she might have strained something important putting it back in the rack.
I saw her later loitering around in the Dunkin Donuts where she was huddled having a heavy duty conversation with a few of her freaky, pierced, and filthy friends. They were discussing the issues of the day concerning the real differences between having an actual Dunkin Donuts mug versus using the environmentally damaging Styrofoam. I again received "the look" as she whispered to her group to tell them what an asshole I was. I immediately got another look from all of them as a group which made me want to take a bow, but I didn’t.
In the back of my mind I was thinking the whole time that just maybe she was the owner of those wadded up panty hose and finding them was a karmic warning for me. Oh well, another minor annoyance sponsored by my local Walmart.
“Life is Good”, or so said on some A-hole’s T-shirt at the pharmacy. I hate being negative but in groups of more than two most people suck.
A beautiful day in the neighborhood.
I’d like to lighten things up a bit as we continue to enjoy the January doldrums here in Maine. I don’t know about you but I’ve been a big fan of Jeff Foxworthy for many years. He has a tremendous sense of humor which is wrapped up in all that redneck nonsense but he still makes me laugh out loud on occasion. I came upon this routine of his that I’m sure has been around for a while but it’s worth sharing with all of you. It’ll give you a true picture of what living in Maine is really all about. Here we go.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in Maine.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you might live in Maine.
If you had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Maine.
If you measure distance in hours instead of miles, you might live in Maine.
If you know several people who’ve hit a deer more than once, you might live in Maine.
If you’ve switched from heat and AC in the same day and then back again, you might live in Maine.
If you can drive 75 miles through 2 feet of snow during a blizzard without flinching, you might live in Maine.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you might live in Maine.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you might live in Maine.
If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you might live in Maine.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you might live in Maine.
If you know all four seasons: almost Winter, Winter, still Winter, and road construction, you might live in Maine.
If you have more miles on your snow blower than on your car, you might live in Maine.
If you find 10° a little chilly, you might live in Maine.
I couldn’t explain Maine any better than that if I tried.
Well, my day in the kitchen is over and I’m sitting here labeling approximately 12 quarts of my new salsa recipe. After all of the adjustments were made to the recipe it turned out much better than I anticipated. After it cooled I was able to sample it with some nice and crispy yellow corn chips. I have a grading scale I use when making salsa and I rated this one a 4. That’s means after eating four teaspoons of the salsa the back of my head begins to sweat. This stuff is smoking hot and at the same time filled with great flavor.
I’m sending a pint of the finished product to work with my better-half tomorrow. I often use her fellow employees to test and taste my cooking efforts and their feedback is usually pretty accurate. It really helps me in refining my recipes. This batch is officially called Roasted Corn w/Black Bean & Currants. In another few months the flavor and heat should improve dramatically after sitting in the jar and make for a really great addition to any of my better-half’s Mexican food meals. Mission accomplished.
Now that my cooking job is over I can return to my Harry Potter reading assignment. I finished book #6 late last night and it was the absolute best one so far. I’m already one chapter into #7 and it looks like it will be even better than the last. What a pleasant surprise. I’m going to be very sad to see this story end because after seven books the characters are becoming like old friends. Another series for my eclectic book collection. I suppose I’ll be up late reading again tonight and hopefully get a decent nights sleep after that.
The weather here in Maine is very cold with approximately one and a half feet of snow still on the ground. I’d love to get into the woods but I’m waiting for a warmer day (around 30 degrees) before venturing out. I’m a fanatic about getting great Winter pictures but I’m not crazy. Patience is supposed to be a virtue so I’ll remain virtuous for a few more days.
It’s New Years Eve-Eve. My sneaky scheme to convince my better-half to have a small party for New Years seems to have gone the same route as many of my other sneaky schemes, no where. There was some discussion of our visiting friends for a few hours prior to midnight but I honesty don’t think that’s going to happen. The last word I received yesterday was that we’re going to have a quiet night, just the two of us, for movies, Chinese food, and a marathon Scrabble game. I know, I know, it’s sounds really exciting so just calm down before you have a heart attack.
Most people don’t realize how exciting it is to spend time with us. You think that big party in Times Square and the dropping of the Big Ball is something, your wrong. Justin Bieber, Ryan Seacrest, and all of those other would be celebrities would kill to be sitting here again on our coach watching movies with us. You could cut the excitement with a knife, a really big and sharp knife.
Last year we threw a, New Years Day + 1, party so all of our celebrity friends from the so-so celebration in New Yorks Time Square could come to Maine the day after. We’re known far and wide for our fabulous gift bags that draw in the glitterati from all over the country and bring them up north to Maine. Beautiful imitation diamond earrings in the shape of lobsters for the women and a cool faux diamond incrusted diver’s watch favored by many of our local lobsterman. A magical Maine skin lotion, made from bear fat and moose extract is added to the bag and will keep their skin highly moisturized and baby soft. It’s also good for protection from the cold down to ten below zero. A good Chanel perfume will easily mask the odor of the bear fat.
As a special gift, we woke everyone up the morning after, collected all of their sleeping bags, and made them a hearty Maine breakfast of Moose and scrambled eggs. I can still remember Lady Ga Ga rolling out of one of the sleeping bags after a snuggly night with Justin Bieber. I’m not sure who I felt sorrier for in that circumstance but I think it was Justin. Next we passed out snowshoes for everyone and took a long, brisk walk through the snow covered Maine woods. Everyone immediately became a little sweaty and smelly so we took a quick dip in our local creek, after cutting a hole in the ice, to get their juices flowing again. Later after a few unrehearsed tunes from our guests back at the house, we said our final goodbye to end the celebration.
Who wouldn’t want to attend another party like that? I shouldn’t tell you this because it’s a huge secret and I wouldn’t want to alert the paparazzi but the 4:00am game of naked charades last year was incredible. Seacrest’s better-half, Julianne Hough, stopped the show when she was attempting the phrase, “your ass is mine”. I wasn’t quite right for a few hours after that. She eventually lost the game but everyone else was a definite winner. Although we did have a tough time keeping Jessica Simpson under control. Her cravings got out of hand when she viciously attacked a table full of the candied oyster appetizers. Not only can that girl sing, she can really eat too. It took four of us to get her off that table.
Now you know what you’ve been missing. Even Puerto Rico comes in a close second to these fun get-togethers, right Lily! I’ll be forced to blame my better-half for ruining another of our posh celebrity, New Years + 1 Day, parties. I must love her a lot because screwing me out of another exciting game of naked charades is not nice. I ask for so little . . .
