Archive for October 2013
Why are farts and farting so funny? I don’t have the answer to that either but you have to admit the subject is always hilarious and 99% of the population would agree. As I’ve traveled around I’ve become attuned over time to those particular body movements when one is on the way and the ever so unusual sounds used in attempts to disguise those SBD’s (Silent But Deadly).
Yesterday was a good example. I stopped by a local Target store to pickup a few items. The place was crowded with the normal assortment of customers all roaming around doing shopping stuff. I was walking through the Kitchen Department minding my own business when I walked into a cloud of what can only be called toxic fumes. About five steps away from me was the only other occupant of the aisle and the obvious depositor of that nasty gas cloud. She refused to look at me and stood quietly staring at her shoes. If she thought playing possum was going to work she had another think coming. I slowly edged toward her as I was pretending to peruse the items on the shelf hoping to pull the cloud along with me. Of course I was holding my breath the entire time. She waited until I was very close and then glanced my way and smiled a cutesy little grin. She then squirmed a little which should have been a red flag for me and quickly walked away. I took one additional step and got nailed by another fart cloud that was so bad my eyes began watering and making it impossible to see for a few seconds. The perp had disappeared in that cloud of noxious fumes after her successful double ambush. She was one of those perverted types who love to stick around to watch their victims suffer. For someone so young she was a real pro.
My father would have been so proud of her. He was a master of filling an aisle with a nasty fart and then walking away. His farts had a "hang time" of five or six minutes which I’ve never been able to duplicate. He would stand in the next aisle and get off listening to the people gag and curse as they were enveloped. He never felt the need to stick around and see his results in person.
I felt a little violated and somewhat disgusted by her cowardly act of fart terrorism. I decided to do the normal and well thought out thing, revenge. It was time to locate and identify another unsuspecting victim and pass it on.
You need to remember that for the last two months I’ve been strictly following a diet which requires that I eat tons of vegetables. I’ve become a stinky, nasty, and disgusting fart machine. I no longer have total control of my farting and seem to be farting non-stop most of the time. I walked into the Cosmetic Department and settled in to lay my trap. An older woman and her two young daughters made the mistake of cruising through the danger zone. I laid down a path of cucumber and onion gas that was so bad I had to leave immediately. I stood nearby and waited and discovered that Mom had some mouth on her. She was gagging and cursing loudly and the two girls immediately fled the scene. They wanted that to avoid the gas cloud and also the embarrassment of their Mommy’s trash mouth. I freaking loved it.
You have to admit, that was damn funny. I know my later father is up there in heaven (maybe) and laughing his ass off. He was always big on upholding family traditions and would be happy as hell to see that I’m still carrying on one of his favorites. Now for a funny fart joke and I’m done for today.
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"
Patient, "Doc, I’ve got the farts. I mean I fart all the time."
The Doctor nods, "Hmm."
Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can’t hear them. It’s just that I fart all the time. Look, we’ve been talking here for about 10 minutes and I’ve farted five times. You didn’t hear them and you don’t smell them, do you?"
"Hmm," says the Doctor.
He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.
The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"
"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."
One last tidbit of a few new fart euphemisms I stumbled upon:
Mud Duck
Trouser Cough
Crack Splitters
Turd Tooties
Anal Audio
Great Brown Cloud
Have a wonderful day and be careful out there. You’ll never know which aisle will be “The One” until it’s too late.
I consider myself a reasonable person with enough life experience to speak on any number of subjects. I’m like a of lot of you out there, I think I ‘m a freaking philosopher as well. The only difference is that most of the time I keep my philosophic thoughts to myself unless asked. I really dislike people who feel the need to preach at me without prompting on their thoughts on every little thing. They love explaining in great detail how to date, who to marry, how to raise children, how to eat properly, and on and on and on. Those people like nothing better than to "beat my ear" with what they think is the final word on everything. My first thought is to tell them to shut up and go away but being that frank with people these days is frowned upon. Decades of politically correct indoctrination has created this know-it-all condition in far too many people.
I can shovel out the blarney with the best of them but I realize that being an annoying prick is not on my bucket list. I’ll be the first person to admit if I need help or advice and I’ll ask for it. While I don’t like asking there are times when I must. You just have to remember that by the simple fact of asking you put yourself in the line of fire for way more information that you’ll ever need or want. It’s just the nature of the beast but it does requires that you stand there and listen to their advice no matter how stupid or inane it may be. So, rule number one: Only ask for advice as a last resort and be absolutely sure you’re asking the right person. You might be better off making a mistake than opening yourself up to the thoughts of a person whose own life experience is somewhat limited.
I’m open to the philosophy of others but prefer to read it rather than listen to it. Over the years I’ve collected different thoughts, statements and quotations, both humorous and serious, that I thought were interesting. Today I’ll pass along some of them to you. You have the option of reading them or not, it’s your choice. I’m making these tidbits available as a service that requires no additional conversation with me whatsoever.
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There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
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Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your mouth is moving.
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
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If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
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If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
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If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
I hope these little pearls of wisdom will aid you in your search for answers to all those questions we struggle with. Some are funny but none the less true.
I’ve spent the last year being educated by my better-half’s daughter’s pregnancy and subsequent child birth. It was quite a project from start to finish and the costs for one child being born seem to be skyrocketing each year. Hospital costs, pre and post natal costs, home improvement costs (nursery setup), and of course the never ending supply of baby food, clothing, and diapers. It’s an easy matter to drop a couple of grand to outfit the child with a bassinette, crib, high chair, walker, and the unending need for more and more toys. I haven’t tallied up a grand total because it would be more than a little scary and really depressing.
With regular visits anticipated from the kid we were also required to double up on some the necessary equipment for our home just to make life easier on all concerned. We now have a crib and enough toys to outfit a small orphanage at our place which I have the painful pleasure of tripping over if I’m not careful. I won’t even get into the costs for car seats which are just ridiculous. Have you gotten my point yet? It’s a freaking expensive proposition.
I happened upon an interesting article that might help put things into perspective. The following list was contained in an 1857 Manual of Domestic Economy and its quite a bit different than our modern day list of required goodies for newborns. Have a look.
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1. A low chair, with or without rockers.
2. A footstool.
3. Two thick flannel aprons.
4. One large washing basin.
5. One soap-dish and soap (best yellow or white curd).
6. One small enamel saucepan.
7. One semi-porcelain pipkin (a small earthen pot) and lamp.
8. One pap-boat (silver or crockery).
9. One feeding-bottle, with two or three nipples.
10. One small jug.
11. One teaspoon and one desert-spoon.
12. One small pot de chamber, with two flannel covers.
The above list was intended for a baby’s first month. Semi-porcelain pipkin and lamp was “a most useful modern invention” used to warm water and food. The pap-boat was used to “force” the baby to take disagreeables, either in the shape of food or medicine. The nipples on the feeding bottle should be India-rubber, preferred to the traditional hollowed-out cow teat or sewn-up wash-leather both of which were liable to become semi-putrid.
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Some of the terms mentioned were strange and the item names ever stranger. It would probably take me forever to compile a current list of the items required these days for the babies first month. It would be exhausting and just too much work to even attempt. I have to admit it’s much better to be collateral damage from someone else’s pregnancy than having one of your own. Thank God for menopause.
Yesterday I was a little bored which might explain why I was visiting Craig’s List. I’m not a huge fan of the site because getting up close and personal with anonymous crazies is not my thing. The history of Craig’s List and it’s problems are well known and need no further explanations from me. I do enjoy reading many of their ads which can be both unusual and occasionally funny.
Funny ads are nothing new. Over the years I’ve been drawn to newspapers and magazine ad sections to get a laugh or two. The Penny Saver newspapers and their ilk are by far the best. The following collection includes a few of those types of ads that made me “laugh out loud” when I read them. It amazes me how the ad writers can inject such humor into their ads and most times don’t even realize it.
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FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB —
$850/best offer
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX,
COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
COWS FOR SALE.
NEVER BRED CALVES.
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
20 YR. WARRANTY.
LIKE NEW.
SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
BILL’S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES
GUN CLUB
GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN – 89 cents lb.
NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED – USED ONCE
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT…
BEEN OUT AWHILE..
BETTER BE A REWARD.
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS – $175.
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE…
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
SELLING WASHER & DRYER $300.
OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS, FOR SALE BY OWNER
COMPLETE SET OF ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA. 45 VOLUMES. EXCELLENT CONDITION. $1,000.00 NEGOTIABLE. NO LONGER NEEDED. RECENTLY MARRIED; WIFE KNOWS EVERYTHING
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Why is it that spontaneous and unplanned humor like these ads can be funnier that a lot of the professionally constructed jokes we hear every day. I find this stuff hilarious and there seems to be an endless supply.
The Winter season is upon us in everyway except for the snow which will arrive when it’s most inconvenient as always. Everyone has been slowly abandoning their summer-wear and easing into that ever so attractive triple layered ensemble of t-shirts, sweaters, sweat shirts, gloves, hats, and parkas. People watching takes an ugly turn every year at this time and I’ll sure miss the bikinis, thongs, short skirts, and beautiful tans. It’s the worst part of winter for me.
It gets so bad at times that after a few months, usually in February, you might find yourself making a early trip to the local mall to have a coffee and watch the ever increasing numbers of people doing their morning walk. There’s nothing more sad than making an early morning visit to a semi-deserted mall just to watch other idiots trying to make some human contact and to get the hell out of the house for an hour or so.
I’m a little jealous of those folks who can’t wait for the snow to arrive so they have a place to play. I’m way too clumsy to be a snow bunny. As a kid I managed to injure myself on a regular basis during every Winter season without even trying too hard. Skiing was always good for a twisted knee or an up close and personal relationship with the occasional tree or shrub. Once or twice I was actually able to ski down a hill, knocking over other skiers along the way, and then ending up in a creek with thin ice and really cold water. We skated on a remote pond for years and without fail I always managed to fall through the ice on a few occasions.
After decades of minor injuries from walking on snow and ice I gave up. No skiing, no skating, and definitely no snowmobiling. When my friends in Maine discovered my failures as a snow bunny they began to give me odd looks and began whispering behind my back. This was the motivation I needed to get serious about resolving my winter issues. After many years I’ve discovered the only winter activity I’m good at.
As you are certainly aware every ski lodge has things in common with the others. There’s always a chair lift, snow, a big mountain, and a lodge. My winter activities this year will be centered primarily around the lodge and it’s varied selection of things to do. There are lovely rooms to sleep and play in. There are hot tubs, Jacuzzis, and untold numbers of young and attractive individuals to meet and interact with. My favorite thing in every lodge is that comfortable bar stool that sits at the end of the bar near the huge picture window. There I can sit, drink, eat, meet, and greet everyone. The only possible injuries I might suffer would be from an accidental fall from the bar stool which would only involve a spilled drink and possibly a small bruise on my buttocks. The other and more dangerous injury would be from one of the many skiers I see flying down the mountain just outside my window. If by chance one of them loses control and crashes through the window, I could be seriously injured. If I stay alert I should be fine but you never know. It also requires that I surround myself with a bevy of alcohol drinking buxom women to help break my fall if the worst happens. As always my approach to everything Winter is SAFETY FIRST.
Hopefully this winter I’ll remain uninjured for another year. Along the way I intend to stay as warm and cozy as possible with all of my new female lodge buddies. I promise to do my part when it comes time to do a Jell-O shot or two off the stomach of an enthusiastic female volunteer.
SKIING RULES
Good morning to all of you trivia nerds out there. I’d ask how you did on yesterdays quiz but out of respect I won’t. You’d need to be a major trivia lover to get more than four correct answers (in my humble opinion) to that bastard of a quiz. Just be thankful I’ve supplied you with a little more useless information that may assist you in getting a few free drinks at your favorite watering hole.
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1. The Girl Guides.
2. It turned up on a beach in San Francisco, 12 years later. Under the terms of the will, the lucky beachcomber who founded inherited half of daisies $12 million dollar estate.
3. July 2. There are 182 days before it, and 180 days after it.
4. Children’s Activities magazine.
5. They were all redheads.
6. Mother Teresa, India’s “saint of the gutter”.
7. The Cooperative for American Relief Everywhere. When the group was first formed, the letters stood for Cooperative for American Remittances to Europe, and then the Cooperative for American Remittances Everywhere.
8. 871
9. Jim Henson and Kermit the Frog.
10. It’s a pangram, it contains every letter in the alphabet at least once.
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If you really and truly scored higher than a four drop me an email or comment to let me know. You deserve some recognition for your amazing achievement. I think it’s time for a little humor to kick start your day.
How about a couple of limericks? I’ll make them a little less dirty than usual. I wouldn’t want shock any of my more sensitive readers.
I once took our vicar to tea;
It was just as I thought it would be:
His rumblings abdominal
Were simply phenomenal,
And everyone thought it was me.
To his friend, Ned said, rather blue,
"My wife Edith just told me we’re through,
For she says I’m too fat."
And his friend told him that,
"You can’t have your cake and Edith, too."
One last joke. Everyone should have at least one to take to work each day to astound and amaze their co-workers. Being a former police office I especially appreciated this one.
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
HAVE A GREAT DAY
I guess it’s time for another trivia challenge for all of you trivia maniacs out there. Today’s 10 questions should be categorized as miscellaneous. They are a mixed bag of facts that might just interest you a little. I took this quiz myself as I put it together but I’m not admitting how badly I did. Let’s just say I scored higher than one and less than four. I’m so ashamed.
As always the correct answers will be posted tomorrow. If you score anything higher than a four your doing really well and should be proud. Good luck!
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1. What was the original name of the Girl Scouts?
2. In 1937, sewing machine heiress Daisy singer Alexander put her will in a model and tossed it into the Thames River near London. Where and when did it wash up?
3. What day is the middle day of the year in a non-leap year?
4. For what magazine did Hugh Hefner serve as circulation manager while he was raising money to launch Playboy?
5. What did Lizzie Borden, Napoleon, and Titian have in common?
6. By what name was Nobel Peace Prize winner Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?
7. What do the letters stand for in the acronym CARE, the name of the relief organization established in 1945?
8. What is the telephone area code for a cruise ship in the Atlantic Ocean?
9. What unusual twosome spoke at ventriloquist Edgar Bergen’s funeral in 1979?
10. Why is the phrase "the quick brown fox jumps over lazy dog" used to check typewriters?
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There you have it. Now before I finish this posting I’ll throw in another filthy yet funny limerick. You can never ever have enough limericks, dirty or otherwise. If you’re offended by this off-color humor, too bad.
There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil.
Believe it or not I’m a really a sensitive guy. You really can’t listen to rumor or the personal opinions of people who may be biased in some fashion. With that being said I need to remind everyone that it’s mid-October here in Maine, the warm weather is slowly fading away leaving us with crisp and cold nights and sunny days with chilly winds. Now that you’ve been given the official EveryUseLessThing weather report you understand it’s that time of the year for the anticipated “change of season”. We’ve now seen the return of football, new TV programming, and the soon to be migration of hundreds of thousands of senior citizens making their Fall pilgrimage to look at the freaking leaves. This is also the time of the year where my better-half and I begin our annual Fall battle over heating the house.
Those of you who heat with heating oil understand just how much money is spent on keeping the home fires burning through a long New England winter. With the costs of heating oil skyrocketing every year at this time, every drop you save is money in your pocket. As much as I agree with saving money there are times when I must disagree. This is one of those times.
In remodeling this home two years ago we required that it be "tight". That means as much heat as possible remains in the house and doesn’t escape through any uninsulated areas. We were very successful with that upgrade but it causes it’s own problems. When the house is that “tight” and the heat is not yet been turned on, the insulation keeps the cold night air inside the house. Our situation now is a little strange. For most of the morning our house is freezing cold and the cold air can’t escape. We’re forced to go outside to warm up once the sun comes out. It’s stupid but true.
That’s where the war starts every year. I try to explain to my better-half that it’s necessary to turn on the heat at a very low level to help eliminate the residual cold air from the previous night. She just doesn’t get it and refuses to turn on the heat at all. I’m being forced to wear three layers of clothing just to watch TV and then when I go outside I find myself removing a layer or two to be comfortable. I suppose I could just turn the heat on and disregard her feelings entirely but that would escalate the war and extend it for many weeks. The recriminations and potential revenge scenarios come into play with more arguing and mean spirited discussions expected. It’s a freaking conundrum.
Thank God for our industrial strength electric blanket. It’s the only thing keeping me from becoming highly disagreeable. A few days ago it was so cold I was forced to spend eight hours sitting in our bed with the blanket at a high level just to be comfortable. We’re at the breaking point with this issue now and I’m almost convinced that it’ll be worth fighting with her for another month or two if I can just get the heat on for a few hours in the morning. She may get a huge surprise when she gets home from work and finds the house warmer and more livable.
I’m not a heat fanatic by any means. We maintain our thermostats at no more than 62 degrees for most of the winter anyway. By taking the time to write this posting I’ve convinced myself to "grow a pair" and just turn the effing heat on. Enough of this nonsense. I’ve taken a vote and my better-half votes NO to heat but me and my “nuts” vote YES. That’s three to one and she loses. On comes the furnace tomorrow morning and let the “Great Heat War of 2013” begin.
For most of my life I’ve had older people telling me things that I had a hard time believing. Growing up in western Pennsylvania put me in contact with many people with their genealogical roots in eastern Europe. I wasn’t more than seven or eight when a elderly neighbor lady who spoke broken English told me to wear cloves of garlic around my neck to ward off evil spirits. It wasn’t until many years later that I discovered she was an immigrant from Romania where they have a history of evil beings and Vlad the Impaler.
Old wives tales are present in every society it seems and have been passed down through the generations as being the gospel truth. When I lived in Korea I found out the best way to insure a safe pregnancy was to hang a strand of charcoal pieces over the doorway to your home. I thought it was nonsense but after a group of elderly Korean ladies threatened me with bodily harm, I just smiled and got out of their way. They put the charcoal in place and there was once again peace in the valley.
Here’s an interesting collection of “Old Wives Tales” for you women out there. I can’t verify that they’re true or that they actually work but I can guarantee that somewhere out there are a few Old Wives who believe it.
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If you happen to step on a man’s toes, whether dancing or in a crowd, it is the man you’ll marry. So the next time you step on a man’s toes, take a real good look at him, you just might be looking The One.
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Eve didn’t have any choice as to who she gave the apple to. But before you give your apple away, try this. Cut it in half and put all the seeds in a pan on the stove. Name each seed after a man you know. Then quickly heat the pan. The first seed to pop will reveal the name of the man for you.
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A woman who puts on a bridal veil and holds orange blossoms on any occasion, but not her own wedding, will never marry.
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If you are young woman make a pie. While trimming the pie crust, if it falls over your hand, that is a sign you will marry young.
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If a woman braids her hair and leaves out a strand, it is a sign she will marry within the year.
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If there are many men in your life and you wonder which one you’ll marry, take 12 slips of paper and write on each slip the name of one of the men. Place the 12 slips into an envelope and sleep with it under your pillow. Each morning draw one slip from the envelope at random. Rip it up and toss it away. The last slip of paper in the envelope is the name of the man you will marry.
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If you have a man in your life and you want him to remain interested in you and to pop the big question, never let him carry your comb in his pocket.
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A woman who makes a good looking bed will have a good looking husband. And a woman who has an unkempt bed will have someone else’s husband.
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If you haven’t met Mr. Right yet, but want to see his face, follow these steps. Find a well. Make sure it’s not covered so that you can actually look down into it and see the water. On the night of the full moon, toss a penny into the well. The face you see at the bottom of the well is the man you’ll marry.
Unfortunately ladies most of you will one day be an Old Wife. I’m supplying you with these tales so you’ll have something to pass along to your daughters. It’s your motherly responsibility to keep this tradition alive. Every generation has the right to hear this nonsense and then to pass it along to their daughters. It keeps life interesting.
I’m sleeping in a little today after the festivities of last night when our favorite and only grandson celebrated his first birthday. It wasn’t a huge party just a small group of family members to take a lot of photographs, eat some cake, and watch our newest member take his first steps into the world.
I haven’t had the pleasure of attending birthday parties such as this for a very long time. As I recall the last time was decades ago when my niece and nephew were new to the world. Since his mother is a believer in traditional values the party was just as you might expect. The star of the night was in fine form and hamming it up with everyone as soon as they arrived. He was all smiles and attitude and I felt like he knew it was a special occasion of some sort but wasn’t quite sure what it was. He knew he was receiving a lot of extra attention and really enjoyed himself.
Both of his grandmothers were there to coo over him as they’re supposed to do and he ate it up as usual. All of the family pets were involved (2 dogs and 2 cats) and were running around, having a great time, and enjoying the excitement like everyone else.
Then it was time for gifts as we sat around and watched him unwrap a gift, play with it for a moment, and then go for the wrapping paper. He enjoyed the stupid paper as much as the gifts. He was quite taken by a huge bag of foam blocks that he immediately dove into and began to play with. He’s either going to be some sort of engineer or possibly a Lego salesman. We’ll just have to wait and see.
The highlight of the night for me was the cake presentation. His Mom baked him a small green cake that he was expected to demolish and OMG did he ever. In one short minute the cake was man-handled, smashed, and smeared over anyone daring to get too close. Once he realized he could destroy it, he did so. His face, hands, arms, eyes, were covered as he shoveled it into his mouth with both hands. He was also nice enough to feed a good portion to the two dogs who were hovering around waiting for some. He was a real mess and I’ve saved plenty of photo’s to prove it. I’m looking forward to the day a few years down the road when I can show them to him.
He finally was dumped unceremoniously into the bathtub and scrubbed clean by an assortment of volunteers. He was dressed in his new fancy PJ’s and settled in for his final bottle of milk for the day. All in all quite a successful first birthday party. I hope the rest of them as just as festive and filled with people who love him.
What more can a person ask.
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