Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
I’ve been mentioning the Fryeburg Fair for a month now and today was the day. We were up at dawn and enroute to pickup the better-half’s daughter and one year old grandson. I’d pounded down two quick cups of coffee to get my heart started and to keep me alert during the fifty minute drive to Fryeburg, Maine. It was early, I hadn’t slept all that well, and I knew it was going to be a very long day.
I was looking forward to taking the grandson to his first Fair but everything else was up for grabs. As we entered the town of Fryeburg traffic was exactly as expected, grid lock. We moved very slowly through town to the area where the fairgrounds are located and parked in the front yard of a local resident for $5.00 bucks. Every house on the street approaching the fairgrounds has a sign up and a person waving a flag trying to entice idiots like us to park with them. Depending on the size of their yard they can turn a nice profit during Fair week. We unloaded the two hundred pounds of baby stuff, threw the little guy into his high-tech stroller and began walking the short distance to the main entrance of the fairgrounds.
When I say there were thousands of people swarming the area I’m not kidding. I have a minor phobia about large crowds and close quarters and I knew today was going to test me in a big way.
The better-half has a few things during every Fair visit that have become a tradition for her such as immediately buying a stack of postcards, a giant plastic coffee mug, and chowing down on a box of french fries. It took just a few minutes for those three items to be scratched from her to-do list and the rest of us were finally permitted to find a freaking rest room.
The crowds continued to grow, the sun came out, and it turned into a beautiful yet sweltering day. During the drive to the Fair the temperature was in the low fifties but within an hour of our arrival it started climbing into the mid seventies. An absolute scorcher as it turned out.
We visited exhibits, nibbled at various food items and delivered the grandson to the petting zoo for an introduction to a few of Mother Natures favorite animals. He was curious for a moment as he and his mother were mobbed by a herd of small goats looking for the food they were carrying. His interests in the goats waned a bit but then he discovered the straw covering the floor. It held his interest almost as long as the goats. Maybe next year he’ll be more interested in the animals.
We sat for a time in the shade of a tree and listened to a local performer singing a selection of songs and making nice with the crowd. We were able to catch our breath, cool off a little, and change our damp little boy. He had some fun clapping with the music and trying to dance and smiling and giggling at everyone. It was pretty cool.
It was as expected a very long day. We visited more animals, barns, horses, oxen, cattle, chickens, and llamas than I ever want to see again. We ate more food, drank more water and made many more trips to the restrooms. That for me is the biggest racket of all at this Fair. They have an assigned attendant in each restroom who I was expected to tip after relieving myself. Of course I left no tip because I refuse to pay someone to stand there and direct me to a urinal and then watch me take a leak. Something is just wrong and a little creepy about that and I refused to participate. I’d love to see just how those folks would list that job on their resume. I won’t even try to guess.
It was finally four o’clock and we’d been roaming around for almost eight hours. My back hurt, my feet hurt, I was hot and sweaty, and the baby was getting a little cranky. The better-half and her daughter were exhausted as well and I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there. So we did.
The soft seats of that car were the best part of the day. The baby instantly fell asleep and we made our way home. I was happy to be involved with his first official Fair visit and we were able to document it with hundreds of photographs. Next year he’ll be walking, talking, and be a little more aware of what’s going on around him. I’m already looking forward to that.
I’d really like to write more but I’m heading for the shower and then our nice soft bed. I am pooped.
As anyone who reads this blog regularly knows, I’m not a very religious person. As a kid I was dragged to church services by my mom every blessed week, kicking and screaming all the way. I was forced into catechism classes at a very young age which I hated. After a few years I was finally able to get my self ejected from them when I was caught reading a somewhat off-color magazine during a Sunday morning class.
I believe people should believe what they want as long as they leave me alone. Our church had the required illuminated sign out in front with those oh so interesting weekly announcements and even additional verbal notifications made during the Mass. There were wedding announcements, reading of the bans of marriage, and blah, blah, blah, blah. They were just as boring as you can imagine. Here are a few sample announcements that actually appeared on church bulletins boards or were announced during services that aren’t quite as boring as mine were. Have a chuckle or two on me.
You just can’t make this stuff up. Even the most pious of us can “screw the pooch” once in a while. Of course, I mean that in the most respectful and pious way.
If you count my years as a police officer, my time in retail investigations, and seven years working in an assortment of state jails and courthouses, you’d think I’ve seen and heard just about everything. If you thought that you’d be right. Those facilities offer up a list of experiences that most people would never experience or want to. People give me strange looks at times and really have a hard time believing some of those stories. Odd, weird, and unusual are everyday occurrences there whether they like to believe it or not.
I spent seven years, five days a week sitting in courtrooms and listening to testimony and statement by attorneys that were stupid, funny, and pitiful all at the same time. For the most part the judges were just highly paid referees between the attorneys and their ever so stupid defendants and witnesses.
These items were actual statements made under oath and recorded by court reporters. It’s a small sampling of how our criminal justice system really works.
* * *
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
* * *
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
* * *
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
* * *
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
* * *
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
* * *
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
* * *
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?
* * *
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
* * *
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy."
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
* * *
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
* * *
I really can’t explain to you the look on some of the defendant’s faces when they hear some of the questions their own attorneys ask. It doesn’t fill them with confidence that their court appointed attorney has no clue about what’s going on. The attorneys seem speechless at times when they hear their own clients testimony. I found my jaw dropping on many occasions when a defendant said just enough to convince the jury he was an idiot and a guilty one at that.
I’ve decided today will be all about our very first visit from the Good Humor Man. If I dare write about politics or religion I almost always piss someone off including myself at times. With the country’s current list of ugly situations such as a confused president, a borderline bad economy, illegal immigration issues, constant threats of war, our eroding inalienable rights, destructive healthcare plans, and terrorism there isn’t much left to laugh about.
I’ve always been an observer of people and that includes myself. I’ve noticed in recent months that the only successful way to maintain my mental health and general well being is to "bury my head in the sand" and IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE. For years I’ve been out there shouting, screaming, bitching, moaning and criticizing the never ending idiocy that is the human condition. What have I accomplished, not one damn thing. Learning how to ignore or zone-out some of this stuff has gone a long way to improving my life.
I thank my better-half for all her help in assisting and motivating me to learn some really important zoning-out techniques. It was just a recent fluke that got me to thinking that those simple yet effective techniques just might work with everyone and everything else as well. After that major epiphany my life suddenly took a turn for the better. I stopped watching and listening to TV and radio newscasts because I totally disagree with their liberal agendas. The Internet news sites like The Drudge Report after a period of time have morphed slowly into versions of the same bad news bearers, death, destruction, and politics that I shied away from on TV and radio. The talking heads from both political persuasions have become a constant drumbeat of opinions that I think are crap.
In order to keep a smile on my face and a song in my heart I have to ignore these idiots and their idiotic opinions. I’m slowly discovering that many of my own opinions make much more sense than theirs. Since they don’t wish to listen to mine or to use any sort of common sense in creating their own, I’m zoning them out. Today is a perfect day for our first visit from Mr. Good Humor. He always seems to bring with him a few items that will put a smile on our faces and help us forget the load of crap we are slowly being inundated with. Enjoy these funny, sometimes off-color jokes, limericks, and stories and try smiling a little.
There’s plenty of sand here on my beach for all of us to bury our heads in.
* * *
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that’s so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.""Gee Dad that’s great," said little Billy.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I’m coming, I’m coming" If it hadn’t of been for Uncle George holding her down we’d have lost her for sure!"
* * *
There once was a man named Barack
Whose re-election came as a shock
He raised the taxes we pay,
and then helped turned marriage gay
And now he’s coming after our Glock
* * *
John took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked the man. "I want to get weighed," said the girl. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, John again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and John lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, John figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How’d it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
* * *
The Dr. Seuss Purity Test
Have you done it on a boat? Have you done it with a goat?
Have you done it in a bed? Have you done it with the dead?
Have you done it in the ass? Have you done it, high on grass?
Have you done it in the car? Have you simply gone too far?
Have you done it on the beach? Have you done it with the teach?
Have you done it on your back? Have you done it strapped to a rack?
Have you done it in a box? Have you done it with a fox?
Have you done it in a tree? Have you done it with more than three?
Have you done it in the rain? Have you done it for the pain?
Have you done it ‘tween the tits? Have you done it wearing mitts?
Have you done it packed in rubber? Have you done it undercover?
Have you done it on a perch? Have you done it in a church?
Have you done it with a virgin? Have you done it with a sturgeon?
Have you done it with ropes and chains? Have you done it while insane?
Have you done it on the stage? Have you done it underage?
Have you done it with all your friends? Have you done it in both ends?
Have you done it with your dog? Have you done it on a log?
Have you done it under clamps? Have you done it with the lamps?
Have you done it without style? Have you done it up a mile?
Have you done it for all to see? Have you ever had VD?
Have you done it on Mother’s couch? Have you done it in your mouth?
Have you done it while on tape? Have you done it out of shape?
Have you done it on live TV? Have you done it whilst you pee?
Have you done it in the gym? Have you done it on a whim?
Have you done it on a dare? Do you really think we care?
Answer these and count your "no"s, pray this number never grows. Fifty questions we asked thee, score times two is thy Purity.
Are you smiling yet?
I hate to admit that in my high school days I absolutely hated English class and writing assignments. The only good thing about that class was the smok’in hot teacher (Ms. Walters) who was much better known for her long legs and colored bra collection. Unfortunately that’s a story for another time. She attempted to teach us morons grammar and other tools needed to write coherently. Two of her favorites things were the use of similes and metaphors. I really never cared much for those exercises and assignments and I’m sure most kids these days feel the same way. I’ll list the official definitions now and then offer up some actual samples from our current crop of students. I have to admit that even my first attempts weren’t as bad as some of these.
* * *
sim·i·le
/ˈsɪməli/ [sim-uh-lee] noun
1. a figure of speech in which two unlike things are explicitly compared, as in “she is like a rose.” Compare metaphor.
2. an instance of such a figure of speech or a use of words exemplifying it.
met·a·phor
/ˈmɛtəˌfɔr, -fər/ [met-uh-fawr, -fer] noun
1. a figure of speech in which a term or phrase is applied to something to which it is not literally applicable in order to suggest a resemblance, as in “A mighty fortress is our God.” Compare mixed metaphor, simile ( def 1 ) .
2. something used, or regarded as being used, to represent something else; emblem; symbol.
* * *
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
She was as easy as the "TV Guide" crossword.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
Every minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
Even in his last years, Grand Dad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
I feel much better about my subpar efforts back in the day after reading this collection. Ms. Walter’s would have been even more unfriendly than usual after reading such drivel and I would have certainly received her favorite punishment. One hour of detention after school while she strutted her stuff around the room and drove us all crazy. Man that was one sexy women. Most of us would have volunteered to stay anyway. What a punishment.
What better way to start my day. I’ve been awake for no more than ten minutes just lying here trying to motivate myself into facing the day. Since my better-half has two days off we decided to sleep in an extra few minutes and relax a little, or at least I did. What’s the first thing I hear? Is it "Good morning honey" or "Wake up sunshine", of course not. She calmly rolls over, looks me square in the eye and says "I think I’ll help you with the compost pile tomorrow." I’m lying in bed looking out the window at the sunshine and thinking about how I’ll miss the warm weather and she’s thinking of a huge pile of compost. There has to be some sort of message there but I haven’t a clue as to what it might be.
Days off. When I was one of the working drones eking out a living I relished my days off. I waited patiently for them to arrive so I could just kick back and enjoy myself. They were crucial to my mental health and well being and I honestly forced myself not to think about work and the stresses involved there.
My better-half has yet to figure out how to enjoy a day or two without stress. She just can’t seem to grasp the concept of relaxation. Even on her days off she’s driven by her list of things to do. She spends all day accomplishing tasks and if at the end of the day they all haven’t been accomplished, she’s disappointed and upset. She has a work, work, work attitude and I’ve been trying to convince her to develop the ability to turn off the work mindset as soon as she arrives home. She’s improved a great deal over the last few years but there’s still a lot room for improvement.
I normally set aside about twenty minutes after she arrives from work for her to vent her frustrations, have a beer, and talk it out. Once that’s been taken care of she can then move on to her real life and possibly enjoy herself. I guess I was lucky. I was always able to turn off the work as soon as I entered my car to go home each night. I gave almost no thought to it until the next morning when I had no choice but to deal with it again. My jobs were always stressful and if I took all of that baggage home with me every night I would have lost my mind.
Well, she’s wandered off to get us some coffee but I refuse to leave the bed just yet. She’s already scurrying around the house to begin her To Do list for the day. I’ll try to coerce her into coming back to bed with my magnetic personality and huge amounts of sex appeal and charm. Don’t you dare grin or laugh, it’s all true. I hear the washing machine being turned on so maybe I’ve already waited too long to make my move. I guess that’s the real story of my life.
Oh no, here she comes now, my own little energize bunny sweeping through the bedroom, dumping out the hamper, and then gone in a swirl of dirty clothes and the smell of laundry detergent. Too late again. I’ll try one more time to slow her down but it could get ugly. I can see an extended middle finger in my future.
I found this article a few days ago filled with suggestions and recommendations for women on how to please their man. Of course this was published in a 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly and the term "You’ve come a long way baby!" wasn’t yet in everyday use as you can plainly see. Read on ladies so you can see what you’ve been missing. I hope my occasional comments don’t bother you too much. I just could stop myself.
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Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. (I can’t read this without laughing my ass off).
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Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people (Just answer the door naked, same thing).
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Be a little gay (not today’s gay) and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties (this is now considered a bad word) is to provide it.
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Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives (They’re joking, right?).
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Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables (Don’t hold your breath guys).
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Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too (If she believed this she’s crazy). After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction (Not lately).
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Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures (OMG) and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all the noise (No way). At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet (Utter BS).
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Be happy to see him (50% of the time if he’s lucky).
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Listen to him (Not going to happen). You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours (Not for decades).
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Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late (Mistress) or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment (Strip Clubs) without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
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Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit (Ha Ha).
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Don’t greet him with complaints and problems (I’m sure this will happen).
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Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner (Strip Club again) or even if he stays out all night (Mistress again). Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
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Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom (Old wives tale). Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
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Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes (OMFG). Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice (No effing way).
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Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house (In his dreams) and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him (Wanna bet?).
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A good wife always knows her place (Not these days).
Now you guys know why they were called the good old days. But just a reminder, those effing days are gone forever.
I’ve always loved slamming celebrities and today will be no different. I do it fairly by just simply using their own words against them. Many of these so called celebrities insist on disturbing my calm by being in my face at every turn on both TV and radio. They’re determined to explain to me how much smarter they think they are about politics, the environment, and any other effing cause they are promoting. It became tiresome more years ago than I care to mention. Since I can’t tell them in person what I think about them without being accused of being a stalker or paparazzi, I’ll use this blog to at least vent enough to make me fell better.
You can take the Bill Maher’s and the Susan Sarandon’s of the world and all of their wack-job friends and ship them wherever you’d like. Just get them out of my face. Here are a few quotes that I’m sure these geniuses wished they’d never made. Here we go . . . .
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Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
– Miss Alabama, 1994 Miss USA Pageant
- "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researches also discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are."
– Mat Lauer, Today Show, NBC
- "I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
– David Dinkins, New York City Mayor answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
- "Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life."
– Brooke Shields
- "We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
– Jason Kidd, Dallas Mavericks
- "I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
– Hillary Clinton
- "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
– Marion Barry, Washing, D.C. Mayor
- "It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
– Dan Quayle, U.S. Vice President
I will admit that celebrities make writing this blog easy at times. They are the proverbial “gifts that keep on giving” and I for one appreciate it.
And as a final thought, thanks to Fred Thompson and his celebrity buddies trying to convince all the seniors in this country that reverse mortgages are the best thing since sliced bread. What a giant load of crap.
I think I’ll start your week with a few items of truly useless information. You can never have enough of this wonderful stuff and I intend to keep shoveling it your way until I run out. So sit back in your seat and enjoy.
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Mr. Potato Head was the first toy advertised on TV.
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Malaria mosquitoes are attracted to ripe Limburger cheese and smelly feet.
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A fetus acquires fingerprints by the end of the first trimester.
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Every 20 minutes the world population increases by 3500.
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Toilet paper was invented by the Chinese in 1391 for the exclusive use by the emperor.
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The two robbers crucified next to Jesus were Dismas and Gestas.
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Disney World in Orlando, Florida, covers 30,500 acres (46 square miles).
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Butterflies are cannibals.
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Tigers have striped skin under their hair but zebra’s don’t.
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Monkeys have no feet, they are classified as four-handed.
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Under the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act, leeches and maggots are categorized as medical devices.
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You can in fact get cooties. Cooties are lice.
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Poison Ivy is a member of the Cashew family.
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In late 1600’s Puritan society, a child over 16 years old convicted of cursing at a parent was sentenced to death.
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E T A O I N S H R D L U C M F G Y P W B V K X J Q Z: The alphabet in order of its frequency of use in written English
Well, there you have it. See just how many useless facts you were unaware of. As a reminder, I get a ten percent of all bar bet winnings. Just so you know.
Last week I offered up a trivia quiz which was more than a little difficult. So after being prompted by a younger reader I decided to do a quiz that is a little more up to date. Although I’m forced to admit this quiz seems more like a current events test than trivia.
So lets get started. I took this quiz myself and scored a measly six points. That’s same mediocre results as the last quiz which really irritates the hell out of me. Oh yes, one more thing, good luck Lily, let me know how you do.
* * *
1. Who won the 6th season of American Idol?
2. What type of forbidden weapons were Syria accused of using against its people?
3. What band, formerly fronted by Adam Gontier, released their album "Reborn" in 2013?
4. Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain all died at what age??
5. Who released the song Pata Pata with a non-English title?
6. What kind of house did Ed Sheeran sing about in his 2012-2013 hit?
7. What was the complete name of the most recent Indiana Jones film?
8. Which band’s 1994 self titled debut is commonly referred to as “The Blue Album?”
9. What happened to the two terrorists that instigated the Boston Marathon tragedy?
10. What is Miley Cyrus’s real name?
* * *
As usual the answers will be posted tomorrow. Good luck to you folks over thirty. Here’s a little joke to start your day.
Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn’t bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I’m gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand" "So," says the second drunk, "what’s your point?" "Well," says the first, "I’m just wondering how much stronger I’m gonna get!"
everyuselessthing.com 