It’s another gray and rainy day here in Maine. While I dislike these kinds of days they do serve a useful purpose.  They force me to stay inside out of the weather and to find other interesting things to do.  One thing that remains interesting regardless of the weather is SEX.  Sex is almost never boring (unless you know the girls from my high school class) who made sex not just boring but difficult to obtain.  It’s with them in mind that I offer up a collection of sexual facts and trivia to amuse you. Let’s get started . . .

• The condom is said to be named after the Earl of Condom, a British physician at the court of Charles II who was asked by the king to design him something to keep him from developing syphilis. The oiled sheep intestine was a big hit.
• Humans aren’t the only species that partake in oral sex; cheetahs, hyenas, and goats all go down too.
• In 2000, the Mississippi state legislature introduced a bill to make it illegal for a male customer to have an erection at a strip club even if he is fully dressed.
• The sperm of a mouse is longer than the sperm of an elephant.
• Slang for “prostitute” in Victorian times was “blowsy” and slang for “ejaculation” was “blow,” leading to the current phrase “blow job.” In ancient Greece, a blow job was called “playing the flute.”

Oiled sheep intestines . . . YUCK. I’ll bet the donating sheep weren’t too happy either.

• Of all the primates, man has the largest penis. The gorilla has a two-inch penis, while the chimpanzee’s is three inches. The blue whale has the largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet.
• In 2003, a Texas man woke up from bladder surgery to discover that doctors had removed his penis without his permission.
• For most men, the left testicle hangs lower—but in some men, most commonly left-handed men, the right one hangs lower.
• Married people are more likely to masturbate than people living alone, according to the National Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS).
• President Lyndon B. Johnson referred to his penis as “Jumbo.”

He may have been President but even “Jumbo” Johnson can’t hold a candle to that blue whale’s eleven foot penis.

‘Head to Toe’

• Exhaustive research published by Johnson & Johnson found that the average time between penetration and male orgasm is 7.3 minutes – this involved 1,587 couples having stopwatch-timed sex.
• The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
• When men of Australia’s Walibri tribe greet each other, they shake penises instead of hands.
• Upper Paleolithic art dating back 30,000 years depicts people using dildos to pleasure themselves and others. That means mankind invented sex toys long before the wheel.
• The average number of times a healthy male will ejaculate in a lifetime is 7,200. Of this number, approximately 2,000 times will result from masturbation.

Thirty thousand year old dildoes.  No wonder the women of that time are pictured with huge muscular arms . . . no batteries available . . . So Sad!

• A teaspoon of semen contains 5 calories. A sperm takes one hour to swim seven inches.
• Men do not need to be sexually aroused to have an erection. Erections can occur if a man is frightened, nervous, or has a full bladder. It’s normal for a man to have several erections during the dream phrase of sleep.
• Women who went to college are more likely to enjoy receiving and giving oral sex.
• The average man has 11 erections per day and 9 erections a night.

And here’s an interesting theory on everyone’s favorite word.  The big F-Bomb. It’s been around almost as long as those thirty thousand year old dildoes.

• Contrary to popular opinion, the word “fuck” is not an acronym for the phrase “Fornication Under Command of the King.” It is a very old word that is hard to trace because the editors of the initial Oxford English Dictionary considered the word taboo in 1893. It may have a Scandinavian origin, similar to the Norwegian word fukka, meaning to “copulate,” or the Swedish foka, meaning “to copulate, strike, push,” orfock, meaning “penis.”

SEX . . . YEAH !!!