Archive for the ‘snow’ Tag
I spent some time yesterday rereading some of my recent postings and I was a little disappointed. Anytime I find myself writing about boredom and depression the warning flags go up.
As a result of those feeling I sat down yesterday and wrote a rather long and harsh assessment of American politics and American politicians. After reading it for the third time I deleted the entire thing and went back to the drawing board. My problem with politics is that even though I try to remain calm these stupid politicians continually do everything they can to take money out of my pocket and also to erode as many of my basic civil rights as possible. Not one party is guilty, they all are. Sometimes I must rant or I’ll just explode and make a mess.
If I’m going to be bored and blue I might as well attempt to ridicule a portion of the population I dislike . . . celebrities and so-called famous people. They try so hard to be the cultural or pop icons for the masses but almost always do or say something utterly stupid or inane. I thought I’d give you an interesting review of some no-so-well spoken fools.
“Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.” –Irving Fisher, Economics Professor at Yale, in 1929, just before the Wall Street Crash.
“His ears are too big. He looks like an ape.” – American film producer Darryl F. Zanuck, refusing to sign Cary Grant to Warner Brothers.
“Who in the hell wants to hear actors talk?” – Harry Warner of Warner Brothers in 1927.
“We don’t like their sound. Groups with guitars are on their way out.” – Dick Rowe, A&R man at Decca, turning down the Beatles in 1962.
“Everything that can be invented has been invented.” – Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899.
This is a perfect example of people who are know-it-all’s that don’t know it all. Let’s move onto a new subject, last utterances before death. There are too many to list but this one just made my day.
Meher Baba, Indian guru who spoke his last words in 1925, 44 years before his death. The last thing he said before taking a vow of silence was:
“Don’t worry, be happy.”
A guru with a bizarre sense of humor or just a dumb ass with nothing more to say. We will never know.
Let’s move on to famous people who became famous for committing the ultimate crime . . . murder. You always hear that they get a last meal request just prior to the end. Let’s see what they ask for:
Gary Gilmore executed by firing squad in Utah 1/17/77 – A last meal of hamburger, eggs, and potatoes. His last words were “Let’s do it.”
Timothy McVeigh, the “Oklahoma Bomber”, executed on 6/11/2001 – His last meal consisted of two pints of mint chocolate ice cream.
Larry White was executed on 5/22/97 for the murder of a 72 year old woman. – His last meal was liver and fried onions, tomatoes, cottage cheese, and a glass of water. The state refused his request for a last cigarette on health grounds (How moronic is the state?).
John William Rook was executed by lethal injection on 9/19/86 for the rape and murder of a nurse. – His last meal was a dozen hotdogs with mustard and a can of cola.
‘Ted Bundy’
Here’s one last quote from a former famous guitar player Terry Kath of the group Chicago. On 1/23/78 he was putting away some guns at a roadie’s house after a party. He stated emphatically, “Don’t worry, it’s not loaded.”, put the barrel to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly.
BEING FAMOUS DEFINITELY DOESN’T MAKE YOU SMARTER
With the holidays, the warm weather, and the snow storm behind us it’s time to move along into 2016. I was pleasantly surprised this morning when all of a sudden the clouds parted and the sun came out to play. It’s still as cold as hell but having that sunshine makes all the difference in the world.
It was time for my better-half and me to get our butts out of the house for a few hours. We ran a few errands, did a little food shopping, and of course took a few pictures. Winter pictures tend to be lackluster unless you have a monster storm of some sort. We decided to take a cruise around the adjacent neighborhoods to check things out. As you can see in this picture even some of the horses weren’t too happy with the cold which required getting their coats out of storage.
They all seemed glad to be out of the barn for a few hours and were pretty frisky. This good looking fellow wanted to visit with me with the hopes that I had an apple, carrot, or sugar cube in my pocket. Unfortunately for him I had nothing with me. In the future I’ll be carrying a few things in the car so as not to disappoint our four legged friends again.
‘Where’s my snack, Jack?’
It felt good to get out into the fresh air for a while but we returned home to this scene near the house. I’ve been showing you photo’s of my garden all summer and it’s only fair to show you how sad it looks right now.
‘Now’
‘Then’
I think I just succeeded in depressing myself all over again. Oh well, just five more months of winter (OMG) and things will be green and growing again. It’s going to be a very long, long, long, five months. Now I do need a drink.
What better way to start off the new year than to update and revise my list of the one hundred things I love. Everything changes over time and the Things I Love list has evolved as well.
As I reviewed my original list of the one hundred Things I Love, it became painfully obvious that it no longer was accurate and badly needed updating. Initially I did the list with my tongue firmly lodged in my cheek but this newly revised list has been shortened to include only the 60 most important things as they are currently. Here goes nothing.
THINGS I LOVE (Revised)
1. My better-half.
2. Licking the hairs at the base of her spine.
3. Truth.
4. People watching.
5. Learning how anything is made.
6. Seeing her naked.
7. Sex in the morning.
8. Movies that make me laugh.
9. Making people laugh.
10. Painting.
11. Small breasts.
12. Kissing her.
13. Computers.
14. Reading anything.
15. Being naked in the morning.
16. Real coffee.
17. Photography.
18. Oldies.
19. My Cat.
20. Science fiction.
‘Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge!’
21. Science.
22. Creating anything.
23. Star Wars.
24. Juicy fantasies.
25. Orgasm’s anytime.
26. Hard work.
27. Hating politicians.
28. The ocean.
29. Watching her lips on me.
30. Honesty.
‘It’s always good to know and follow the rules. Here they are.’
31. Sex in the evening.
32. Movies that make me cry.
33. Medium breasts.
34. BJ’s in the morning.
35. Snow.
36. Wine.
37. Hiking in the woods.
38. Skinny dipping.
39. Eating anything while naked.
40. Long sloppy, tongue-sucking kisses.
‘Oh Baby!’
41. Voyeurism.
42. Chocolate.
43. Being naked in the afternoon.
44. Large breasts.
45. BJ’s in the afternoon.
46. Sex at night.
47. Movies that make me hot.
48. Girl watching.
49. Building anything.
50. Pretty feet.
‘All she needs now is some blood red polish.’
51. Computers.
52. Holding hands.
53. Watching her sleep.
54. Being naked at night.
55. Accomplishing anything.
56. Huge breasts.
57. Squirting.
58. BJ’s at night.
59. Masturbation, alone or with a friend.
60. Snoodling with her.
Well that should get 2016 started in a proper fashion. I have a few other lists that need to be updated and I’ll be getting to them soon.
HAPPY 2016
I was just getting readjusted to my so-called normal life after the Christmas insanity ended and was really hoping for some quiet downtime. Oh how stupid I must be. It just never seems to work out the way I plan. All of the unseasonably warm weather abruptly ended yesterday with a beautiful yet annoying snow storm.
Yesterday was spent getting up close and personal with my snowblower once again. The final snow amounts have yet to be determined since it’s still snowing but my better-half shoveled at least five inches off the deck last night so the total will be a bit more than that.
Today will be spent looking out the window while our last holiday visitor tries to make travel arrangements to get out of here. It appears he’ll be taking a short bus ride to Boston, staying there for a day, and then a flight back to Los Angeles. I have a feeling he’ll be really happy about getting back to the surf and sun of California.
We’re planning on a reasonably quiet night for our New Years celebration with Chinese takeout and hopefully a movie or two. I’m sure my better-half is already having day dreams of watching all of the vacuous celebrities strutting their stuff in New York. Watching the ball drop with her is for me is much like getting a root canal without anesthesia. I’m hoping she’ll come to her senses but I’ve been hoping for that for years and I’m still waiting.
So I’ll just sit around today waiting for the snow to get deep enough to require me to fire up the snowblower. I suppose the remainder of the day can be spent reading, painting, or possibly even napping. Since the house is still filled with every kind of cake, cookie, and candy you can possibly think of, I need to stay busy and away from all the junk food.
Enjoy your New Year’s celebration but be smart about it. Don’t drink and drive. Find a boring sober friend and give him your keys.
HAPPY 2016
P.S. Good news! We made it through the first snow storm without the snowplow operators destroying our mailbox. Maybe that’s a sign from God or just dumb luck.
It’s easy to get on a lengthy sentimental journey of sorts during the Christmas season but with this posting I hope to avoid that. Christmas and all of it’s incarnations worldwide are interesting and strange to say the least. Here are a host of weird and strange Christmas factoids you may not be aware of but are true nonetheless.
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Japanese people traditionally eat at KFC for Christmas dinner, thanks to a successful marketing campaign 40 years ago. KFC is so popular that customers must place their Christmas orders 2 months in advance.
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Paul McCartney earns $400,000 a year off his Christmas song, which is widely regarded as the worst song he ever recorded.
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Mistletoe kissing originated with fertility rites. The hanging sprig is a very ancient symbol of virility and therefore anybody standing beneath it is signaling that he or she is sexually available.
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About half of Sweden’s population watches Donald Duck cartoons every Christmas Eve since 1960 .
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Mormon missionaries can only call home twice a year: once on Mother’s Day and again on Christmas.
Don’t you feel bad for poor old Paul McCartney. He reaped only $400,000.00 a year for a crappy song. Keep the lucky bastard in your Christmas prayers. And KFC for Christmas in Japan? That’s as weird as it gets.
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Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen is the only record to get the UK Christmas Singles Chart Number One twice, once in 1975 and again in 1991.
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Engineers designing the Voyager Space mission planned it to avoid planetary encounters over Thanksgiving and Christmas.
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The US playing card company ‘Bicycle’ had manufactured a playing card in WW2. That, when the card was soaked, it would reveal an escape route for POWs. These cards were Christmas presents for all POWs in Germany. The Nazis were none the wiser.
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The people of Oslo, Norway donate the Trafalgar Square Christmas tree every year in gratitude to the people of London for their assistance during WWII.
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The Christmas Tree is a manufactured tradition. Victorian intellectuals invented the tradition as part of a social movement to consciously reform Christmas away from its tradition of raucous drinking.
Hooray for Freddy Mercury and Queen. Their Christmas song just has to be better than McCartney’s. The Victorians did us no favors so bring back all that raucous drinking, please.
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Christmas as a "day off" is a recent innovation. As late as 1850, December 25 was not a legal holiday in New England.
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The Beatles hold the record for most Xmas number 1 singles, topping the charts in 1963, 65 and 67.
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The highest-grossing holiday movie is 2000’s How The Grinch Stole Christmas, which has raked in $175m so far.
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Hanging stockings comes from the Dutch custom of leaving shoes packed with food for St Nicholas’s donkeys. He would leave small gifts in return.
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There is no reference to angels singing anywhere in the Bible.
No angels singing in the Bible. Isn’t that just a giant kick in the ass? Personally I don’t think there was much singing at all in the Bible. People were too busy begatting and killing to have time for singing.
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Jesus was probably born in a cave and not a wooden stable, say Biblical scholars.
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In 1999, residents of the state of Maine in America built the world’s biggest ever snowman. He stood at 113ft tall.
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The holly in a wreath symbolizes Christ’s crown of thorns while the red berries are drops of his blood.
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Jingle Bells was the first song broadcast from space when Gemini 6 astronauts Tom Stafford and Wally Schirra sang it on December 16, 1965.
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Astronomers believe the Star Of Bethlehem, which guided the wise men to Jesus, may have been a comet or the planet Uranus.
I’m glad to see the state of Maine making the list. Although how proud can you be about a giant snowman. Snow is about all we have to offer except for a few billion pine trees.
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Santa Claus has different names around the world – Kriss Kringle in Germany, Le Befana in Italy, Pere Noel in France and Deushka Moroz (Grandfather Frost) in Russia.
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In Britain, the best-selling holiday song is Band Aid’s 1984 track, Do They Know It’s Christmas?, which sold 3.5 million copies. Wham! is next in the same year with Last Christmas, selling 1.4 million.
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US scientists calculated that Santa would have to visit 822 homes a second to deliver all the world’s presents on Christmas Eve, travelling at 650 miles a second.
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Despite the tale of three wise men paying homage to baby Jesus, the Bible never gives a number. Matthew’s Gospel refers to merely "wise men".
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There are 13 Santa’s in Iceland, each leaving a gift for children. They come down from the mountain one by one, starting on December 12 and have names like Spoon Licker, Door Sniffer and Meat Hook.
Another misquote from the Bible. Are you shocked? Not me. And thanks to all of those scientists for taking the time out of their busy work day to compute those figures. Get a life guys.
TWELVE SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
Twenty shopping days until Christmas and still no snow. This weather is starting to freak me out a little. I was out on the deck this week putting away the furniture and had to return to the house to remove some clothing. It was too hot. Can you believe that? Anyway here are some photo’s and Christmas factoids for your entertainment.
*** Germany made the first artificial Christmas trees. They were made of goose feathers and dyed green. ***
Yesterday my better-half took me along as an escort while she Christmas shopped. This was how yesterday appeared to me:
*** If you received all of the gifts in the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas," you would receive 364 gifts.***
Rain doesn’t help my already waning amounts of Christmas spirit. What a mess. I find myself wishing for a good snow storm that would drop four or five inches of the white stuff on us.
*** In Mexico, wearing red underwear on New Year’s Eve is said to bring new love in the upcoming year. ***
Last evening we began decorating the interior of the house. A little wine, a little beer, and lots of patience. We made a great deal of progress but it wasn’t easy. Here are a few shots of the debris ridden living room in these “before” photo’s.
*** The poinsettia plant was brought into the United States from Mexico by Joel Poinsett in the early 1800’s. ***
*** Rudolph" was actually created by Montgomery Ward in the late 1930’s for a holiday promotion. The rest is history. ***
We put the finishing touches to the tree and of course the damn cat insisted on hiding underneath and did his best to knock it over. That’s one Christmas tradition we’ve tried for years to change but he just won’t listen.
*** Clearing up a common misconception, in Greek, X means Christ. That is where the word "X-Mas" comes from. Not because someone took the "Christ" out of Christmas. ***
Our holiday preparations will continue for another week or so or until we run out of holiday stuff to hang on other holiday stuff (truthfully that will never happen).
*** Eggnog first became popular in England where it was considered a drink for the upper class. ***
20 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
I always seem to be talking about Winter approaching these days and with good reason. Winter in Maine lasts at least six months but it certainly seems longer. Just two weeks ago I was sleeping under a ceiling fan for eight hours a night because it was so damn hot and humid in the house. At the time I thought that miserable hot weather would never let up. Let me tell you, it’s let up.
‘Ahhhh Memories’
As of last night I’m convinced Winter is much closer than I thought. The last few nights we’ve had temperatures in the low forties which are wreaking havoc on what remains of the garden. I was reminded early this morning when the cold air in the room jolted me awake. Last night was the first official #5 night for my electric blanket. Unless some sort of Indian Summer happens it could mean an early arrival of the season which includes an unwelcome amount of our favorite white stuff.
Fall is probably my second favorite season of the year after early Spring. I love the vivid colors of the foliage just like every other photographer on the planet. Maine is already known for it’s beautiful scenery along the coast and inland in the forests and around the many lakes. Throw in millions and millions of colorful leaves and it becomes for a short time an effing paradise.
My cameras and lenses are cleaned and ready. My snowblower’ been taken out of mothballs, gassed up, and ready to go. All that’s left for me to do is the unpacking of my unfashionable and ugly winter clothing. It’s almost impossible to look good wearing three layers of clothing, a hat, gloves, a scarf, and big clunky boots. . . and unfortunately I’m just talking about the women. The men look even worse as they let their beards grow out and suit up with their favorite snowmobiling outfit. There’s nothing better than hanging around an ice fishing hut with a few of your buddies telling tall tales about fishing, hunting, and sexual prowess and guzzling as much beer as you can drink.
The never-ending number of hunting seasons always irritates me a little. There are times when entering the woods around here to take pictures can be a life threatening situation. If you not wearing bright red or fluorescent green you could easily be mistaken for a moose, a turkey, or even a cow. It’s a little like Vietnam out there if you throw in a few cases of beer to make things interesting. Scary doesn’t even begin to cover it.
As you can see from my remarks, I’m neither a hunter nor a fisherman. I’ve never been all that crazy about killing helpless animals with high powered weaponry and high tech fishing paraphernalia. I prefer to do all of my shooting with a camera. I also hate the thought of eating wild game thanks to my father who insisted I try to eat a little of everything he ever shot. Yuck!
Time to Crank up the electric blanket and hunker down for another six months of snow, sleet, and ice. I only hope I don’t slip and fall this year and break any additional bones. Trust me, it’s happened before.
With a major warming trend gripping Maine I was swept away with a huge dose of Spring Fever this week. I moved my grill from storage, cleaned it up, and cooked my first feast for 2015. I spent some quality time on the deck reading one of my favorite books with my favorite lazy cat. Life was slowly improving and I began to throw off those Winter doldrums.
I decided that since a great deal of the snow had disappeared I’d take a trip to the coast to look around a little. I worked my way up the coast to the inlet where the great Scarborough Marsh empties into the Atlantic Ocean. This inlet is populated by a large number of lobster boats and their owners and is the area where you can buy the freshest lobsters in town. There was a lot of activity in the harbor with the boats being cleaned and readied for the warmer weather.
As you can see by these photos it was a gray day but slowly showing some signs of Spring. I should have known better than to get my hopes up because the weather in Maine is nothing if not fickle.
I awoke yesterday prepared to face the day and to begin the cleanup of my yard and garden. How stupid am I? I walked to my bedroom window, looked out, and saw an overnight deposit of four inches of snow. WTF!
Now I’m once again depressed and irritated. While listening to the radio today I heard about the Freezing Rain Alert for tomorrow where high winds, sleet, and power outages are expected. What did we ever do to deserve this I wonder?
I think it’s time for me to sit quietly, sip a glass of my favorite brandy, and relax so my head doesn’t explode.
Sixty plus degrees. That’s all I have to say about yesterday. I’m just about over this stupid virus that’s been kicking my ass for the last two weeks. Combine that with the warm weather yesterday and guess what you get. The largest most contagious case of Spring Fever ever experienced. I guess the longer and more oppressive the winter the more intense is that first burst of Spring Fever. Man I’ve got it bad.
I spent a good part of the day yesterday just wandering around the yard in a T-shirt with no gloves, no hat, and no parka. As I slowly strolled between the remaining piles of snow I could see that blessed light at the end of the tunnel and no, it isn’t a train coming toward me it’s Summer.
I couldn’t stop myself from going with the feelings and actually started cleaning up the winter debris strewn about the yard. I picked up tree branches and pine cones of which there were thousands. I’ve never seen so many freaking pine cones in my life and they will certainly require an major investment of my time to pick them all up. That should tell you just how bad my Spring Fever really is that I’m actually looking forward to doing it. I find that a little disturbing to say the least.
I then decided to get my riding mower out of mothballs and ready for use this summer. I filled it with gas, checked the oil, and reconnected the battery. I was just standing there enjoying the warm air when I was overcome with love for that stupid tractor. I hate to admit this but I found some rags, soap, and car wax, and went a little crazy. That tractor got a hot bath and a good scrubbing, was dried off, and waxed to a high sheen. How sad is my life?
I need to pace myself a little better or I’m going to lose my mind. I actually found myself drawn to the seed packet display at Walmart a few days ago. They were silently calling to me to buy, buy, buy. I maintained what little control I had left and just “Said No” and walked away. Unfortunately my better-half is worse that I am when it comes to Spring garden purchasing. We both need some sort of twelve step program to help us through the next two months and to keep us from overspending like we do every blessed year.
I just received a giant package in the mail today and had to help the mail carrier bring the box into the house. It’s the new part I ordered a week ago for my sweetheart, the mower. Now she’ll be even prettier than usual as I cruise around the yard making the neighbors oh so jealous.
Eat your hearts out people, if freaking Spring Time.
The ice and snow is finally melting. It would appear that we’ve seen the last of the big Winter storms for this year. While the temperatures are in the mid- forties during the day the nights remain cold as hell. It’s a great trade off as far as I’m concerned. We still have tons of snow and ice on the roof of the house but it’s already been reduced by at least twenty percent. The remainder should fall this week as it appears to have moved a few inches with this minor thaw.
‘When this ice hits the ground the entire house will shake.’
I made a trip to Lowe’s in preparation for the rebuilding of my mailbox for the third year in a row. If I had the extra money I might even consider a small yet annoying lawsuit against the town to demand repayment for all of the mailboxes they’ve destroyed over the years. From the looks of things as I drive around I’m just one of thousands who have the same complaint.
‘I know this looks almost usable but the door won’t close and the pole it sits on is missing. Take away the snow and it will be sitting on the ground.’
I’ve come up with a creative solution to the mailbox problem which will require me to spend a bit more money than I’d like. If it works I won’t be buying any more mailboxes in the future. As that project proceeds I’ll post some photo’s so all of you that don’t suffer from this problem can have a chuckle or two.
‘This is a sample of one of the many Maine seasons. We have Summer, Snow, Snirt (Snow/Dirt), Mud, and Black Fly. This is SNIRT.’
The sun is shining this morning and I’m anticipating a decent day where I might actually get out of the house and into the woods. This year has been one that made it difficult to get out and about even with snowshoes. I tried it once and was exhausted within minutes. With three feet of snow on the ground even snowshoes can’t help. I think today I’ll get my car desalted, take a few pictures and celebrate seeing actual pavement for the first time in months. I may have to be retrained to drive on real dry asphalt.
C’mon Spring!
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