Archive for the ‘Bitch & Complain’ Category
I’m just lying in bed this morning having my coffee and catching up on the state of our civilization here in the United States. Don’t let that intimidate you, that just means I’m perusing the Drudge Report. I’m not a drudgeaholic but as news goes it’s better than some and worse than others. Unfortunately Drudge like all of the other news outlets seems to have his own agenda at times which puts me off a little when it doesn’t agree with me.
The first thing I noticed was all of the panic and horror being brought on by this world ending 30 inches of snow expected soon in the mid-Atlantic states. Oh yeah, they’ll be severe flooding as well but I’m certain that Obama and FEMA will have things totally under control.
Obama will soon begin his campaign of directing the rest of the country into having community prayer meetings begging whatever God they believe in to save Washington DC from total destruction. Then the media will begin it’s never ending assault on our consciences with heart rendering pictures of overturned cars, children in snow up to their waist, and a recount of all the homeless people forced to stay in shelters. Then the special interest groups will step in and have their web sites ready to go to accept any and all donations to save these poor innocent victims of this horrific "Storm of the Century. If you aren’t reading sarcasm in this, wake up.
As I continued my review of Drudge I came upon an item which pretty much tells the whole story about where things have gotten to culturally in this country. It was a blurb out of the Sundance Film Festival about a much acclaimed movie, The Swiss Army Man. It’s a story based entirely on one man’s relationship with a farting and rotting corpse. It apparently caused many people to just get up and leave the theatre but also as disturbingly many did not. The star, Daniel Radcliffe, of Harry Potter fame should be ashamed of himself. There’s a fine line between avant-garde and just plain disgusting. He apparently hasn’t figured out just where that line is.
Reading that story was enough for me. It motivated me to get the hell out of bed, get dressed, and get on my way to do just about anything else. That certainly doesn’t include reading more about celebrities and pop culture idiots doing their best to show the rest of the word just how far we’ve come. It’s apparent that we in this country have forgotten our history lessons about the all powerful Roman Empire that crumbled and disappeared when their limits of decency and morality were ignored.
I don’t think we’re quite there yet but it seems we’re getting closer and closer each year to their level of idiocy.
HAVE A HAPPY STORM WEEK
Maine has finally found it’s typical winter weather. No more warmth, no more green anything, just ice, snow, frigid cold, and nothing much else in sight for at least another three months. Just great . . .
Now that the holidays have come and gone and things have calmed down a little we can now ready ourselves for the next fiasco, Valentine’s Day. I won’t go into my normal rant about crappy made-up holidays but I’m not too excited by it. I was hoping the Super Bowl might get me interested in something but since my team was crushed by Denver . . . . who cares.
This time of the year wears on a person like nothing else. Too much time to think and to reexamine your life and the prospects for the future. I have to say even that gets boring as hell after a while. Right in the middle of all of this I received news of the passing of a good friend. He was my ex-brother-in-law and a kindred spirit for almost twenty years. I always admired him for his intellect, his terrific sense of humor, and his competitive spirit. My divorce separated me from my ex-wife and unfortunately for me I lost contact with him and his family as well. There was very little I could do about it.
In recent years he’d been suffering from illnesses that finally took his life. It was a huge loss for his wife, children, and grand children and for me as well. Just one more thing to think about on these gray and cold days of winter.
I’m forced to fall back on my sketching and painting to keep my mind right. I know it’s getting bad when I’m starting to get excited about having my car inspected in February.
R.I.P. JOHN
It appears that yesterday’s sleet and snow storm has finally abated. It created quite a mess with an early morning ice shower that virtually shut down the surrounding area. It was bad enough that my better-half wasn’t able to get to work. Of course, you know what that means, right! A whole day of quality time with me.
For me it was a day of writing, movies, sketching, and reading. Doing those activities allows me to escape all the dreariness of the day and to get lost in my own head for a few hours. That kind of total focus is a real gift and I’ve always appreciated having the ability. I can actually shut everything out completely which can be a real blessing most of the time. Sometimes not so much.
My better-half just asked me what I’d be doing today. How can I explain that to her? I guess I’ll give it a try so here goes . . . .
Honey, I’m in the process of creating a painting of sorts and the first step for me is to create it first in my head before even picking up a brush or touching a canvas. I can visualize the entire project as it will appear when completed and then I can begin to slowly dismantle it. I break the images into layers of color and perspective to determine the order in which they must be addressed. It sounds a lot more complicated than it actually is.
This process takes a different length of time depending on the complexity of the subject matter. I enjoy completing these things in my head almost as much as actually doing them on canvas or paper. It sounds a little strange but I don’t know any other way to get the results I want.
There are times when you think I’m ignoring or being rude to you but I’m really not. I’m so far into visualizing a project I just can’t take any time out to really listen to you. I’m afraid of losing my momentary focus and be forced to start from scratch once again. This is the way I’ve been doing creative things since I was old enough to remember and don’t see it changing any time soon.
With all of that being said, that’s what I’ll being doing for a few hours today. I have the completed image in my head, the color blocking determined, and I’m only days away from actually starting the necessary pencil sketching. I’m going to try something new this time that is definitely outside my comfort zone and it’s will be a cross between Salvatore Dali with just a hint of Pablo Picasso. It’s going to be way outside my comfort level and will be fun to see what the final result will be.
There you go darling . . . that’s some of what I’ll be doing today as I sit quietly next to you in the living room. Don’t take it as a personal slight, I’m not ignoring you . . . it’s just me being mentally creative.
Who loves you baby?
My better-half had two days off this week and that almost always means another shopping foray somewhere in Maine and a quiet enjoyable lunch off the beaten path. The day was frigid but bright and sunny which required a minimum of two layers of clothing to keep from freezing. After much discussion it was left up to me to decide as to where we’d be spending our day. I plugged in the GPS and were soon on our way to Bridgeton, Maine.
Bridgeton is a small town located along the New Hampshire border in the foothills of the White Mountains. It’s was almost an hours drive on windy snow covered roads through an area with minimal population.
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Comment: I need to make a note of something here. On these day trips our car conversation can get a little strange. My better-half has an ability much like the late Yogi Berra. She has her own vocabulary which she constantly uses to confuse me. We were quietly talking about the flu season and how we both have had a nagging cough at night brought on phlegm in the throat. She looked over at me and serious asked, “My phlegm is green and tastes boogery, does yours? Now you can see why I find it necessary to keep these day trips to under a hour travel time. It’s to avoid these strange conversations and questions. Now let’s get back to Bridgeton.
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A little music and a lot of conversation later we arrived in the town and decided food was our first priority.
The restaurant was small and tucked away between two businesses along Main Street. We ate here last summer during another visit and were suitably impressed with the food, coffee, and the variety of artisan breads. The place was overrun with ski team members from UNH (University of New Hampshire) who were visiting from a nearby ski resort.
I had my standard breakfast with bacon, sunny side up egg, home fries, toast, and an amazing mug of Jamaican coffee. I have to say I’m a bit of a coffee addict and this coffee was unbelievable.
My better-half dug into a breakfast Stromboli that was well worth the long trip to Bridgeton.
We did a little shopping in a few stores not closed for the winter and I even stumbled upon quite the bargain. I found a soap stone sculpture of an Mayan soldier hidden away in a pile of items in the back corner of the shop. It’s the best $12.00 purchase I’ve made in years and will have a special place of honor in my man-cave.
We even discovered a die-hard artist bundled up and painting along a nearby brook. Crazy, crazy, crazy!
We returned home refreshed from the trip, well fed, and ready for the forecasted freezing rain storm expected soon. Just another day in this Maine paradise.
I SURE COULD STAND SOME MORE OF THAN JAMAICAN COFFEE.
I went to bed last night with expectations of a light snow fall and awoke this morning with almost five inches of the white stuff clogging my driveway. And a special thanks goes out to the Saco snowplow driver for missing my mailbox and then filling my driveway with eight inches of snow. So instead of a quiet morning lounging in bed I was forced to brave the cold and snow to clear the damn driveway. How could my better-half possibly survive if she couldn’t get out to shop sometime today?
This was my morning wake up call.
The snow made for interesting pictures as it stuck to each and every tree branch we could see. I snapped a few photos with my point-and-shoot camera but by the time I got around to getting my Nikon ready the snow was already dropping from the trees. Here are a few substandard pics to give you some idea of what I’m talking about.
The rest of the day was spent running errands and generally just screwing around. She enjoyed her day off and I enjoyed getting out of the house for a while. More snow in the forecast for the weekend so we’ve got to enjoy the time out when we can.
I’m sorry for the short post but other responsibilities need tending to. More to follow soon.
What a strange few weeks it’s been once again. Another weather related fiasco to thoroughly screw up our anticipated cold and snowy winter. First we had warm weather through most of November and December, then two weeks of really cold weather with an 8 inch snowfall, and finally three and a half inches of rain this week This photo was taken yesterday as our backyard quickly filled up with more than three and a half feet of water on top of the snow.
I should be thanking my lucky stars that this rainstorm was not snow. If it had been there’d be more than three feet of snow to deal with. I guess just this once I can be happy with the weather forecasters being correct. This morning I jumped out of bed and looked out the window to check the water level and this is what I saw.
All of the snow from the last storm had been thoroughly washed away but the snow that had been underwater through the night remained intact. It really doesn’t mean much but I thought it was kind of interesting.
With all of this rain I’m once again stuck in the house where I’m trying to keep busy with projects. Most of the Christmas paraphernalia has been sorted through, repackaged into containers, and returned to the attic for another year. Fortunately my better-half was able to fill quite a few boxes with items either damaged or out of date. Each year we’re slowly but surely weeding out the useless stuff giving her more room to store more new useless stuff. It’s what I call her “Circle of Life".
I began sorting through my Christmas gifts which were all pretty cool but yesterday I found some that were outstanding. Two of our friends who love making homemade foods like we do gave us some of their samples. We received four jars with some truly interesting flavors. I’m always preaching about doing things outside-the-box and they did it in a big way. There was Hot Tamale Apple Wedges, Orange/Blueberry jam, Strawberry Vanilla jam, and best of all for me Zucchini/Habanero jam.
I love all things hot and have experimented a few times in making jams with some elevated heat levels. My best efforts couldn’t come close to matching up to that Zucchini/Habanero jam. I ate 1/3 of the jar on two toasted English muffins and it was the best damn hot jam I’ve ever eaten. Our friends have definitely motivated me to try again and I will. I’ll certainly need something to give them next Christmas and I want it to be as good as I can make it.
What do you do when you’re bored? Everyone seems to have a few ways of dealing with boredom and so do I. When I’m bored it’s usually being bored with the people around me and occasionally with life in general. Over the years I’ve had a very low tolerance for boring people up until the time I finally became one.
It’s only January seventh and I’m already going a little crazy being stuck in the house for most of the day. I read a quotation once upon a time and it’s stuck with me over the years. I’m not sure who the author of the quote was but I still find it pertinent all these years later. “Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself.”
Help Me! I beginning to find myself really effing boring. I plan every year to have a sufficient number of chores and projects to help me through these long winter months. My biggest problem this year is I’m not the least bit motivated to do anything. The situation started becoming a real problem this week which forced me into taking immediate action yesterday.
The one thing that always helps me to get my mind right is to cook something. I made a quick trip to the supermarket and picked up all of the necessary ingredients and spent one evening watching Netflix and dicing jalapeno peppers, Serrano peppers, and habanero peppers. Then dicing piles of red and white onions, sweet bell peppers, parsley, and cilantro. Yesterday was to be the first Salsa Day for 2016.
‘First prepare the jars and lids.’
I started by adding all of the ingredients together and allowing them to cook slowly. Then the hard work began as I seasoned and tasted, seasoned and tasted, and using a variety of hot peppers set the level of heat I was looking for. I wanted this batch to be as hot as possible but not so hot that people couldn’t eat it. It took a while but I was pleased with the results.
I also love the flavor of beans and use some combinations of them in many dishes. Since the salsa I was making is Roasted Corn & Black Bean I needed a way to add bean flavor without having the salsa look like a three-bean salad. I took three varieties of beans and pureed them into a heavy slurry. I slowly poured the slurry into the pot and hoped for the best. I also hoped that slurry would thicken the consistency of the salsa as it cooked. I really didn’t want to use tomato paste because the flavor is almost too strong.
After all was said and done here is the result. Thirteen quarts of Roasted Corn & Black Bean salsa that’s hot enough to make your head sweat and bring tears to your eyes. Just the way I like it.
My boredom disappeared almost immediately and one thing is for certain. The flavor of this salsa is as far away from boring as you can get.
Bring on the chips it’s time to eat.
Here’s your first dose of totally useless information (Trivia) for 2016. I can only assume many of you readers will be spending some time this year in your tavern of choice and many of you will attempt to participate in some sort of Trivia challenge or bar bet. Since it’s obvious to me from some of the emails and comments I receive that many of you drink regularly you will probably need these factoids to help you out a little. This information is my New Year’s gift to you so let’s get started with a few items about the Internet.
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The time spent deleting spam emails costs U.S. Businesses approximately $10 billion annually.
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The highest publicly reported amount paid for a domain name is $7.5 million in stock options, to buy business.com.
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Thirty-five billion emails are sent each day throughout the world.
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Thirty-two percent of all singles think they will meet their mate online.
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The first domain name ever registered was Symbolics.com.
Now for a few more interesting facts concerning our new beat friends . . . our cell phones.
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More than fifty percent of the people on the earth have never made or received a telephone call.
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Approximately 1,314 phone calls are misplaced by telecom services every minute.
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There are 150,000,000 cell phones in use in the United States, more than one for every two human beings in the country.
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As much as eighty percent of microwaves from cell phones are said to be absorbed by your head.
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A Belgian couple were married by short message service (SMS) because text messaging played such a big part in their relationship.
Now for what you’ve all been waiting for. A few tidbits of information on our ever so interesting and at times nasty bodily functions.
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The average heart beats 2.5 billion times in a lifetime. The heart beats about 100,000 times each day.
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The body gives off enough heat in thirty minutes to bring a gallon of water to a boil.
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A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.
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A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands. There are about one trillion bacteria on each foot.
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During a kiss, as many as 278 bacteria colonies are exchanged.
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The body loses half a liter of water a day through breathing.
This was just the first of many trivia postings you can expect this year. I think it’s time for this blog to start living up to it’s name. You can’t have too much useless information in your life and I’m here to guarantee that you get yours.
With the holidays, the warm weather, and the snow storm behind us it’s time to move along into 2016. I was pleasantly surprised this morning when all of a sudden the clouds parted and the sun came out to play. It’s still as cold as hell but having that sunshine makes all the difference in the world.
It was time for my better-half and me to get our butts out of the house for a few hours. We ran a few errands, did a little food shopping, and of course took a few pictures. Winter pictures tend to be lackluster unless you have a monster storm of some sort. We decided to take a cruise around the adjacent neighborhoods to check things out. As you can see in this picture even some of the horses weren’t too happy with the cold which required getting their coats out of storage.
They all seemed glad to be out of the barn for a few hours and were pretty frisky. This good looking fellow wanted to visit with me with the hopes that I had an apple, carrot, or sugar cube in my pocket. Unfortunately for him I had nothing with me. In the future I’ll be carrying a few things in the car so as not to disappoint our four legged friends again.
‘Where’s my snack, Jack?’
It felt good to get out into the fresh air for a while but we returned home to this scene near the house. I’ve been showing you photo’s of my garden all summer and it’s only fair to show you how sad it looks right now.
‘Now’
‘Then’
I think I just succeeded in depressing myself all over again. Oh well, just five more months of winter (OMG) and things will be green and growing again. It’s going to be a very long, long, long, five months. Now I do need a drink.
What better way to start off the new year than to update and revise my list of the one hundred things I love. Everything changes over time and the Things I Love list has evolved as well.
As I reviewed my original list of the one hundred Things I Love, it became painfully obvious that it no longer was accurate and badly needed updating. Initially I did the list with my tongue firmly lodged in my cheek but this newly revised list has been shortened to include only the 60 most important things as they are currently. Here goes nothing.
THINGS I LOVE (Revised)
1. My better-half.
2. Licking the hairs at the base of her spine.
3. Truth.
4. People watching.
5. Learning how anything is made.
6. Seeing her naked.
7. Sex in the morning.
8. Movies that make me laugh.
9. Making people laugh.
10. Painting.
11. Small breasts.
12. Kissing her.
13. Computers.
14. Reading anything.
15. Being naked in the morning.
16. Real coffee.
17. Photography.
18. Oldies.
19. My Cat.
20. Science fiction.
‘Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge!’
21. Science.
22. Creating anything.
23. Star Wars.
24. Juicy fantasies.
25. Orgasm’s anytime.
26. Hard work.
27. Hating politicians.
28. The ocean.
29. Watching her lips on me.
30. Honesty.
‘It’s always good to know and follow the rules. Here they are.’
31. Sex in the evening.
32. Movies that make me cry.
33. Medium breasts.
34. BJ’s in the morning.
35. Snow.
36. Wine.
37. Hiking in the woods.
38. Skinny dipping.
39. Eating anything while naked.
40. Long sloppy, tongue-sucking kisses.
‘Oh Baby!’
41. Voyeurism.
42. Chocolate.
43. Being naked in the afternoon.
44. Large breasts.
45. BJ’s in the afternoon.
46. Sex at night.
47. Movies that make me hot.
48. Girl watching.
49. Building anything.
50. Pretty feet.
‘All she needs now is some blood red polish.’
51. Computers.
52. Holding hands.
53. Watching her sleep.
54. Being naked at night.
55. Accomplishing anything.
56. Huge breasts.
57. Squirting.
58. BJ’s at night.
59. Masturbation, alone or with a friend.
60. Snoodling with her.
Well that should get 2016 started in a proper fashion. I have a few other lists that need to be updated and I’ll be getting to them soon.
HAPPY 2016
everyuselessthing.com 