I realize that it may be a little too early to be posting on this subject but what the hell. Every year I tease myself by listing a number of resolutions for the new year. My success rate leaves much to be desired but occasionally I actually DO complete a few. I’m posting early because my rate of success this year has been dismal. I’d blame some of it on my better-half who just completed her first year of retirement. To say she’s been a huge distraction is an understatement – goodbye to my wonderful days of PEACE & QUIET. Here’s my list for 2025 and all my lame excuses.
Read at least 100 books by years end(more if possible). If I finish reading my current book by years-end I will have read only 88 books. FAILED
Complete at least four illustrations for use as gifts for next Christmas. COMPLETED
Complete one sculpture using a technique I haven’t used before.FAILED – Due to my total lack of interest and laziness. Maybe this coming year I can get it done.
Show more patience to my better-half’s retirement adjustments.COMPLETED – I’ve shown more patience than ever before but I have a long way to go to satisfy her.
Attempt to write some serious poetry that’s worth reading.FAILED – Completed a few poems and a couple of limericks but I wasn’t happy with the less than adequate results.
Continued monitoring of the grandsons for new and exciting cuss words.COMPLETED – This may have been the easiest one to complete. It’s official, and thanks to day care, school, and some family adults the “F-Bomb” has been released. I’m so proud!!
Continue to ignore all of the weird and bizarre health tips from the Internet.COMPLETED – Thanks to all you internet experts and your misguided and incorrect medical BS.
My final tally was disappointing – 4 of 7 completed. I still have a few weeks to give a great deal of thought for my resolutions for 2026. It’s good to set goals even if you’re reasonably certain they won’t all be met.
Now that Christmas has come and gone once again, things can get back to abnormal. The holidays are always stressful no matter how well you prepare and I discovered early in life that bringing a group of family members together is fraught with danger and the likelihood of old personality disputes’ becoming a real possibility. Fortunately this year we successfully avoided that sort of nonsense. My better-half and I are now kicking back and trying to relax a little as I’m sure you are as well. Todays post is just what this blog is all about – EVERYUSELESSTHING. This is an easy way for me to relax, collect my thoughts, and continue on to the next holiday, on that never-ending list of #@%!*% holidays. Welcome to my post-Christmas MISH/MOSH.
Former Beatles drummer, Ringo Starr, was the original narrator of the children’s television show, Thomas the Tank Engine.
During mating season, lions can have sex dozens of time every day. (I’m so jealous.)
Beavers’ butts taste like vanilla, “Kinda sorta”, since their anal glands secret a substance used in the manufacture of artificial vanilla flavorings. (Yum!)
An ostrich can easily kick a human to death.
Catherine the Great had an entire room in her palace that contained erotic furniture emblazoned with penises and vaginas. (My queen!)
The lighter was invented before the match. It was created in 1823 and called Dobereiner’s Lamp. Friction matches were not invented until 1826.
When you perform an action, neurons fire in your brain. Those same neurons fire when you’re watching someone perform the same action.
The Heimlich Maneuver wasn’t invented until the 1970’s. Henry Heimlich published the first paper on it in 1974.
Phobophobia is suffered by a person who is afraid of fear.
Pope Gregory IX once declared black cats to be the incarnation of Satan resulting in the killing of an unknown number of cats. Unfortunately they weren’t available to then help control the rat population which may have contributed to the spread of the Black Death. (Religious zealot: My opinion)
I’ve been posting quite a few quizzes in recent months with some truly difficult answers. Todays quiz is a general knowledge quiz from the 1960’s and the answers should be somewhat easier to remember unless you were a teenager during that time. Drugs will do that to anyone’s memory. As always the answers will be listed below.
Which Academy-Award winning film about two misfits was originally rated X?
What Nobel Prize winning author shot himself to death in 1961?
What animal did the Yippies run for president in 1968?
What disastrous military maneuver did the US back in 1961?
What was the center piece of the Seattle World Fair?
TWIGGY
What London street rose to prominence in the fashion conscious 60’s?
Which member of the Kennedy family survived the crash of a small plane?
What was the better-known name of the decades most famous model, Lesley Hornby?
What was the fourth nation to detonate a nuclear bomb?
Complete this anti-war chant, Hell, no . . .”
☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️
🥎My Required Baseball Item🥎
Name the two Yankee baseball players who chased Babe Ruth’s homerun record in 1961?
❤️❤️❤️
Answers
Midnight Cowboy, Ernest Hemingway, A Pig, The Bay of Pigs invasion, The Space Needle, Carnaby, Ted Kennedy, Twiggy, China, . . . we won’t go!, Roger Maris & Mickey Mantle.
Over the years many readers who I assumed were somewhat religious, have asked me what my religious beliefs are. Many think I’m anti-religion but in truth I’m not. I’m anti-organized religions. Religions have their usefulness and have accomplished many wonderful things but at the same time organized religions have also been responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and that’s where I have a serious problem. Organized religions are much like the old labor unions. They served their purpose for decades but then became corrupted (in my opinion) by politics and MONEY. They’ve morphed into political money making machines by actually demanding a percentage of our hard earned money for doing little or nothing for us. Everyone agrees there’s only one God but unless your worshipping that god in their specific way your considered by some to be anti-religion or an infidel.
We are approaching what was once a highly religious holiday season that has been rearranged to include “Black November sales, Black Friday sales, a steady stream of Amazon ads, plus hours and hours of mind-numbing commercials. The only people worshipping anything these days are the millions of scammers, porch pirates, and the occasional actual religious person.
Let’s review for a moment the history of humanity as applied to their weird and confusing religious beliefs. In my opinion our new god is the almighty dollar. Which one of these religions would be a good fit for you and your family?
In Thailand there is a religious group who worship the almighty penis. Their shrine is crammed full of phalluses of all types and sizes. They are gaily painted and hung with garlands of flowers. Many women claim miracle pregnancies after making a pilgrimage to the shrine.
Apparently in India they believe you should go big or go home. In the state of Karnataka there is a 100 foot high penis and a incredible collection of over eight million penises.
The Japanese have a shrine at Kanamara Matsuri, where the yearly penis festival is held on the first Sunday of April. People parade through the streets with pink penises in hand and they even supply penis shaped lollipops for their children.
In India has a “Cargo Cult”. The locals worship Prince Philip as a divine being. It started in the 1950’s and continues to this day. I guess we should add him to the endless list of saviors along with Jesus Christ and Mohammad.
Doll worshipers exist in Mexico where there is a shrine containing a fifty year collection of dolls.
There is a Daoist Shrine to “Lady Datuk” in Singapore who was a young girl found dead in the hills during WWI.
In 2005 a man named Bobby Henderson started an alternative school in the United States called the church of the “Flying Spaghetti Monsterism”. The religion went viral.
There is cat worhipping in a number of countries.
The list of possible religions just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Don’t forget L. Ron Hubbard who started the infamous Scientology religion. My final conclusion is that the Humans Race is insane. We are stupid, vain, and insecure but still consider ourselves to be highly religious. Make your choice of a belief system very carefully. When you get to the Pearly Gates to be judged you might be surprised to discover that St. Peter is just a giant pink penis with a pet cat.
☯️🕎✡️✝️☪️
AMEN (and Merry X-mas) TO ALL OF YOU INSANE AND INSECURE HUMANS
Once reported from the Danbury, Connecticut Mall:Santa Claus advised that a woman who sat on his lap had been more naughty than nice. She had openly groped him after waiting patiently in line. Police reported that “A security officer did notified them that Santa had been sexually assaulted.” The 33 year old suspect in question was charged with sexual assault and breach of the peace. She was released on her own recognizance and promised to appear in court in January.
(Sounds like “lump of coal” time to me.)
🧑🎄
Now, here’s a short list of the many and varied ways you can say Merry Christmas around the world. It may not interest some of you and that’s okay, enjoy them anyway.
Glaedelig Jul – Danish
Vrolijike Kerst – Dutch
Hyvvaa Joulua – Finnish
Kala Christouyenna – Greek
Gledileg Jol – Icelandic
Buon Natale – Italian
God Jul – Norwegian
Feliz Natal – Portuguese
God Jul – Swedish
Iyi Noeller – Turkish
🎁
There’s always room for more Christmas trivia. It’s a good thing to learn and understand just how this holiday has developed and been interpreted around the world for so many different cultures.
Christmas Eve in Japan is a good day to eat fried chicken and strawberry shortcake.
Michigan has no official state song, but one, ‘Michigan, My Michigan,’ is frequently used. The words were written in 1863, and the melody used is that of the Christmas song “O Tannenbaum”.
Electric Christmas lights were first used in 1854.
America’s official national Christmas tree is located in King’s Canyon National Park in California. The tree, a giant sequoia called the “General Grant Tree”, is over 90 meters (300 feet) high, and was made the official Christmas tree in 1925.
The first department store to feature a visit with Santa was the J. W. Parkinson’s store in Philadelphia in 1841. Astonishingly, no other department stores copied this event until 1890 when a store in Boston repeated it. Before long lines of children formed at stores across America to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him their Christmas wish list. The department store Santa has been immortalized in films such as Miracle on 34th Street and Christmas Story.
“Jingle Bells” was originally written for a Thanksgiving celebration, in 1857.
❄️
WHO DOESN’T LUV THE X-MAS CAT?
❤️❤️❤️
Well, there you have it. Another short collection of useless Christmas trivia to help you get holly and jolly before the big day gets here.
I guess I’m feeling a slight tingle of Christmas spirit this week. Being filled with the spirit tends to make me feel a little lazy. So, after my third, forth, and fifth rum soaked eggnogs I decided to dive into some of my older archives for a few Christmas inspired limericks. Here goes nothing . . .
With the holiday season in full swing I thought I should offer up some of my own holiday-spirit poetry original written in the 1920’s and 1930’s. A few off-color rhymes to help celebrate this holiest of seasons (sarcasm off) in my own special way. These should be rated “PG” so keep the kids away if you can.
1927
There was a young lady named Maud A terrible society fraud. In company, I’m told She was awfully cold. But if you got her alone, Oh My God!
1939
There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning to screw, but he hadn’t the knack, And he got too far back In the right church, but the wrong pew.
1938
There was a young man of high station Who was found by a pious relation Making love in a ditch To – I won’t say a bitch – But a woman of no reputation.
1940
In the shade of the old apple tree Where between her fat legs I could see A little brown spot With the hair in a knot, And it certainly looked good to me.
💥💥💥
And here’s my favorite, a salute from my birth year (1946) to all my Texas readers.
Well, with Thanksgiving behind us we’re on our way to the Christmas Holiday that once was primarily religious but has since morphed into nothing but SALES, SALES, SALES. It’s more like an Amazonian celebration where money is God, porch piracy rules all during this holiest Black Friday month. I understand that I’m being a touch facetious but who really cares. I’m a non-religious person who harkens back to a childhood that was as religious as it could get. Fond memories of my crazy Catholic mother and her truckload of religious statues and paraphernalia of all things Catholic.
Todays post is my way of reintroducing religion to the holiday narrative in 2025, tongue-in-cheek all the way. I hope some of the Bible thumpers out there know at least some of the answers because I didn’t. As always the correct answers will be listed below.
THE THIEVES
Who stole idols from her father?
What robber was released from prison at the time of the Passover?
According to Malachi, what were the people of Judah stealing from God?
Who was stoned for stealing booty during the battle for Ai?
Which epistles say that the day of the Lord will come like a thief?
What disciple stole from the treasury?
BONUS QUESTION (To help you get at least one answer correct)
Who committed the first murder?
✝️✡️☪️🕎☯️
Answers
Rachel (Genesis 31:19), Barabbas (John 18:40), The tithes they owed (Malachi 3:8), Achan (Joshua 7:10-26),1 Thessalonians (5:2) and 2 Peter (3:10), Judas Iscariot (John 12:4-6), Cain, who murdered his brother (Genesis 4:8).
I was really disappointed with my terrible showing on the 2024 New Years resolutions. Barring any unforeseen catastrophes I hope to do much better in 2025. I admit that my bout of laziness during those warm summer months didn’t help. I just had too many distractions!
*** HERE THEY ARE FOR 2025***
Read at least 100 books by years end(more if possible).
Complete at least four illustrations for use as gifts for next Christmas.
Complete one sculpture using a technique I haven’t used before.
Show more patience to my better-half’s retirement adjustments.
Attempt to write some serious poetry that’s worth reading.
Continued monitoring of the grandsons for new and exciting cuss words. (Minimum of 1)
Continue to ignore all of the weird and bizzare health tips from the Internet. (This one is too easy.)
I plan on being more serious about completing the resolutions this year. I’ve always set goals for myself for most of my life with a great deal of success. This will be a lot more fun because the only person looking over my shoulder these days will be ME!
Christmas is gone . . . thankfully. I love all the presents, and I love all the decorations (if I’m not forced into putting them up), but my downfall is all the damn food. I’m what you might call a “taster”. I love tasting everything and this year was the worst since last year. I swear we had enough food for twenty people but unfortunately, there were only seven of us. That means that I’ll be eating reheated holiday leftovers for at least the next two weeks. Also, let’s not forget the large influx of food anticipated on New Years Eve and again on New Years Day. I have absolutely no willpower and I’ll probably be found dead with a large slab of lukewarm ham hanging out of my mouth. With that cheery thought in mind, I’ll be posting a few tidbits of trivia about food as I sit here eating blueberry donuts and cherry lifesavers.
Animal Crackers were introduced in 1902 as a Christmas novelty item and packaged with a string for a handle. It made it easier to hang them on the Christmas tree as an ornament.
Coffee was officially recognized as a Christian drink by Pope Clement VIII in 1592.
Most of the egg rolls sold in grocery stores in the United States are actually produced in Houston, Texas.
The American city that consumes the most ketchup is New Orleans.
Eighty-seven percent of whole milk is water.
Miss Piggy of Muppets fame was once quoted, “Never eat more than you can lift.”
The term “Surf & Turf” was coined by gastronome Diamond Jim Brady and was first served to him at a waterfront restaurant in Brooklyn, NY, in the late 1880’s.
The name Lorna Doone was the name given to a shortbread cookie in 1869 based on a novel by the same name.
Baskin-Robbins introduced an ice cream, Lunar Cheesecake, in 1969 to commemorate the moon landing.
Salsa overtook the ever-popular ketchup as the top selling condiment in 1991.
everyuselessthing.com 