Everyone at one time or another has a bad day or a bad week or a bad year. When your in one of these ruts it’s sometimes difficult to pull yourself out of it. Todays post is meant to inspire the readers and to lift their spirits a little. I hope it works for you!
“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.” Helen Keller
“Keep your eyes on the stars, keep your feet on the ground.” Theodore Roosevelt
“I never remember feeling tired by work, though idleness exhausts me completely. Arthur Conan Doyle
“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you got a put up with the rain.” Dolly Parton
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein
“Don’t give in! Make your own trail.” Katharine Hepburn
“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” Margaret Thatcher
“One of the things I learned the hard way was it does not pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” Lucille Ball
Even if you’re on the right track you’ll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers
“When written in Chinese, the word “crisis” is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.” John F Kennedy “
And finally one of my favorites:
Rules for Living
“Do not worry, eat three square meals a day, say your prayers, be courteous to your creditors, keep your digestion’s good, and steer clear of biliousness, exercise, go slow and go easy. Maybe there are other things that your special case requires to make you happy, but, my friend, these, I reckon, will give you a good life.” Abraham Lincoln
Of all the historical scientific icons, in my opinion Albert Einstein should lead the list. You would think that someone with his accomplishments would be honored after his death even more so than when he was alive. Today’s post is a story that I found concerning Mr. Einstein after his death. It just goes to prove that human beings suck and no matter what the reasoning, they can justify any weird and bizarre actions that they think is necessary. Read on and be horrified like I was.
Did you know that Albert Einstein’s eyes are sitting in a bank vault in New Jersey? About the same time that pathologist Thomas Stoltz Harvey absconded with the brain mere hours after the famed physicist’s death in New Jersey in 1955, Einstein’s ophthalmologist, Dr. Henry Abrams, removed his eyes. Abrams placed them in a jar and locked them away in a bank vault. Although rumors pop up from time to time that the eyes will be put on the auction block, Abrams maintains that he has no plans to sell them. “When you look into his eyes, you’re looking into the beauties and mysteries of the world,” he said. “They are as clear as crystal; they seem to have such depth.”
Here’s just a little trivia factoid.
The creature designers for Star Wars based Yoda’s eyes on Albert Einstein’s eyes.
And finally a relatively famous quote by Albert Einstein that I’ve always loved and respected: “I love Humanity, but I hate humans.”It just proves to me that he was even more intelligent than I thought.
The can opener wasn’t invented until nearly 50 years after the can itself.
If there are twenty-three people in a room, there is a 50% chance that two of them will share a birthday. This is what statisticians call “The Birthday Paradox”.
Human beings landed on the moon before inventing wheeled suitcases.
A majority of Canadians live south of Seattle.
Astroglide Lube was originally supposed to be a space shuttle coolant.
The Cornish word for “breath” is “anal.”
The letters in “eleven plus two” can be rearranged to spell “twelve plus one.”
Some people are afraid of gravity. (Barophobia).
“Phobophobia” is a real thing. It’s sufferers are afraid of fear.
The vibrator was originally invented as a medical device. Orgasms were believed to be able to cure many medical ailments.
My Favorite
Cornflakes were originally developed to suppress the urge to masturbate. The Kellogg brothers were deeply religious and believed that the food would help their brethren suppress the urge to pleasure themselves.
The English language is brutal. I don’t envy anyone coming to this country without any English speaking skills because I’ve lived here my whole life and I still don’t have a handle on everything. Virtually everything that we talk about or speak about originally came from our distant past going back thousands of years. I thought I was up-to-speed as far as the language goes but once again I was sadly mistaken. Today’s post will introduce you to some words that you’re familiar with and others not so much. When I can I will identify the original word. As always, answers are at the end and no peeking please.
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What is the meaning of the Greek word “kosmetikos”, from which we get the word cosmetics?
A milligram is a thousandth of a gram. What’s a “picogram”?
What do “noologists” study?
What kind of voice does someone have if he or she is “oxyphonic”?
What does the word “climax” mean in Greek?
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How did the “duffel” bag in its name?
What’s the difference between a nook and a cranny?
What word originated as the nickname for a English insane asylum?
What flowers name means nose-twitching in Latin – a name bestowed upon it because of its pungent aroma?
A bibliophile is a collector of rare books. What is a “bibliopole”?
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What was the original meaning of the word “clue”?
What is the origin of the expression “on the Q. T.”?
What is the literal translation of the pasta “vermicelli”?
What were the very first item is referred to as gadgets?
What is a “funambulist”?
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Answers
Skilled in decorating, 1 trillionth of a gram, The mind, Unusually shrill, “Ladder”. In Greece is spelled klimax, From the Belgian town of Duffel, A nook is a corner; a cranny is a crack, Bedlam, The nasturtium, A seller of rare books, A ball of thread or yarn – which makes the concept of unraveling a clue all the more meaningful, The word quiet – from its first and last letters, Little worms, Miniatures of the Statue of Liberty sold in Europe in 1886, A tightrope walker.
I decided that we’ve gone far too many days without a Limerick Alert. Today’s selections are approximately 60 years old. I’ll give you a few examples of how back in the day, people wrote limericks about clothing and dress styles. These are all clean and readable for all ages, and I’d rate them PG.
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There was a young man of Bengal, Who went to a fancy dress ball. He went just for fun, Dressed up as a bun, And the dog ate him up in the hall.
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There was a young woman of Ayr, Tried to steal out of church during prayer, But the squeak of her shoes So enlivened the pews That she sat down again in despair.
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There was an old person of Fratton Who would go to church with his hat on. “If I wake up”, he said, With my hat on my head, I shall know that it hasn’t been sat on.”
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There was a young lady of Durban Who insisted on wearing a turban. When asked why she wore it, She said, “I adore it I’m so weary of fashions suburban.”
I thought today I would do something a little different. As I’ve mentioned many times in posts I am not a lover of beer. While that remains true so does the fact that my better-half loves, adores, and worships at the closest beer tap. Over the years many of my friends and coworkers drank nothing but beer and to this day I’ll never understand why. This post is for all of you male beer drinkers out there and hopefully after reading this you may understand why many women have issues with men who love drinking beer. The following is a list of nineteen reasons why a man at times prefers beer rather than the company of a woman.
1.You can enjoy beer all month long. 2. You don’t have to wine and dine a beer 3. Beer will wait patiently for you in the car when you play sports 4. A frigid beer is still a good beer. 5. Beer is never late. 6. Beer hangovers go away eventually. 7. A beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer. 8. Beer labels come off without a fight. 9. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer. 10. Beer never has a headache.
If you pour beer just right, you’ll always get good head.
A beer won’t get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
Beer always goes down easy.
You can share a beer with your friends.
You always know if you’re the first one to pop a beer.
Beer is always wet.
You don’t have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
It seems that almost everyone wants to be richer. We’ve heard it as children that if you become rich you will be successful, happy, and content with your life. After reaching adulthood reality sets in when you discover just how difficult obtaining and keeping riches can be. Here is a collection of quotes from some of those rich and famous folks who will explain their thoughts on being wealthy.
“Money is a prolific generating nature. Money can beget money, and its offspring can beget more.” Ben Franklin
“Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant.” PT Barnum
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.” Aristotle Onassis
“Money brings some happiness. But, after a certain point, it just brings more money.” Neil Simon
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.” Oscar Wilde
“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” Woody Allen
“Golden shackles are far worse than iron ones.” Gandhi
“If I hadn’t been rich, I might’ve been a really great man.” Orson Welles
“A woman needs four animals in her life: A mink in the closet. A jaguar in the garage. A tiger in bed. And then an ass to pay for it all.” Anne Slater
“Rich men without convictions are more dangerous in modern society then poor women without chastity.” George Bernard Shaw
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And there’s no better way to end this post then to have a quote from a celebrity that speaks the absolute truth.
I don’t consider myself to be an over-the-top addicted spots fan but it doesn’t keep me from still loving baseball. For me it is the All-American sport even more so than the NFL or the NBA. Playing baseball gave me some of the best times of my life even though I still have a hard time watching it on television. It’s more fun to actually play than to watch. I’ve followed many players over the years that had fantastic stats but one player in particular just always made me smile. That was Yogi Berra, a man who has been quoted over and over again for decades with his famous brand of humor. Here is a short selection of some of his thoughts and comments that will certainly entertain you.
“You can observe a lot just by watching.”
“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”
“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.”
“You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.”
“A nickel isn’t worth a dime today.”
“Nobody goes there anymore – it’s too crowded.”
“You give a hundred percent in the first half the game, and if that isn’t enough, in the second half you give what’s left.”
“I made a wrong mistake.”
“Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.”
“I never blame myself for not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”
Today I’m going to make this post quick and simple. Here are five moderately bawdy limericks from our recent past. They’re rated PG-13 due to some of the sexual content but I edited some of the harsher foul language so as not to have it too disgusting. Enjoy.
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There was a young man from Perdue, Who was only just learning to screw. But he hadn’t the knack, And got too far back- In the right church, but in the wrong pew!
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There was an old fellow named Hewing Whose poor heart stopped while he was screwing. He gasped: “Really, Miss, Don’t feel bad about this- There is nothing I’d rather die doing!”
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There was a young fellow named Menzies Who’s kissing sent girls into frenzies. But a virgin, one night, Crossed her legs in a fright, And fractured his bifocal lenzies.
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A pretty young lady named Flo Said:” I hate to be had in the snow. While I’m normally hot, In this spot I am not- So, as soon as you come Joe, let’s go!”
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There was an old fellow named Bill, Who swallowed an atomic pill. His naval corroded, His asshole exploded, And they found both his nuts in Brazil.
I’ve been called many things in my life. Some were complimentary and others not so much. My all-time favorite without a doubt is that I’m a sarcastic son-of-bitch. To me that is nothing more than a badge of honor which I wear proudly. Most people know the word sarcastic but have no idea what it really means. I’ve spent many years honing my sarcasm skills so today I’m now willing to share some of them with you. Here are some commonly used words with a beautiful yet sarcastic explanation. Read on my sarcastically uneducated and challenged readers.
CALM-What you are usually urged to remain around the time the third engine on the aircraft has failed.
PERFECTIONIST-The worst kind of boss; the best kind of sex partner.
PERKY-Lively, jaunty, brisk, or to put it another way, just asking for a punch in the damn face.
PUBLIC RESTROOM-A place containing toilet seats that make you wish you could be taught how to hover.
REALITY-A state in which you assume everybody else resides, until you start dating.
REGRET-The gnawing, inescapable feeling that behaving like a total dick for your entire life may not have been such a good idea.
MACHO-A form of overstated masculinity, requiring males to live in a state of constant readiness to whip it out and see whose is bigger.
NITPICK-To rip someone a new one without leaving anything out.
DRUNK-Intoxicated with alcoholic beverages. An absolutely crucial component in the decision to photocopy one’s ass cheeks.
DRESS-Something that does not, I said not, make you look fat.
DEGREE-A certificate of academic achievement awarded at the college level. Comes in very handy when asking people if they want fries with that.
CHIVALRY-Considerate behavior that a man completely abandons right after as many dates as it takes to get a woman into bed.
BAR-A place where lonely, desperate people go to get hammered enough to find other lonely, desperate people suddenly irresistible.
HOTDOG-The toenails, lips, and eyebrows of various animals served on a bun.
HUNGOVER- A condition that makes figuring out who was next to you in bed this morning take anywhere from five minutes to a lifetime.
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