This blog is titled Every Useless Thing and I’m feeling today that you all must certainly need a huge dose of useless information. Just when I thought I’ve heard the weirdest s**t possible I just keep finding more and more and more. After all the years of my doing trivia it still amazes me how often I find things that boggle my mind. Let’s see if that will happen to you today.
The waist produced by a single chicken in its lifetime could supply enough electricity to run a 100 watt bulb for five hours.
The odds of being struck by lightning are one in 10 million.
Murphy’s Law: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”
In 1992 convicted killer Robert Alton Harris stated just before entering the gas chamber: “You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.”
The highest score ever achieved for one word in a Scrabble competition was 392 for the word caziques down two triple-word scores.
Mike Love, Pancho Villa, and Zsa Zsa Gabor were each married nine times.
Groucho Marx ate his first bagel at the age of 81..
Harrison Ford’s first film role was as a bellboy and his only line was “Paging Mr. Ellis”. Ellis was played by James Coburn.
Click Eastwood, Yasser Arafat, Elizabeth Taylor, Patrick Swayze, Sting, Luciana Pavarotti, Rowan Atkinson, and Ted Kennedy all survived plane crashes.
The odds of being killed in a road accident are one in 15,800.
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One of My Favorite Bands
The rock group 3 Dog Night obtained their name from an old Australian saying.“On a freezing night in the outback, a man would need to sleep with one dog to keep warm on a cold night, two dogs on a very cold night and three dogs on the coldest night.”
Now that the NFL preseason has kicked off, I can once again turn into the fanatical Steeler fan that tends to irritate everyone in Maine or New England. I’m not as rabid as some fans but I am criminally loyal to the Pittsburgh Steelers. I swore when the season started this year I was never going to be a Steeler fan again because of their lousy record in actually playing football in playoff games.
Sorry, but I once again lied. I’ve now decided to include the Tampa Buccaneers as my backup team if the Steelers suck again this year. I’ve always been a Baker Mayfield fan and I would love to see him in the Superbowl if the Steelers don’t or can’t make it.And one additional comment: Tell T.J. Watt to get with the program. Doesn’t he realize by now he’s letting his ego send a wrong message to the fan base (my personal opinion). He sounds a little whiny for the big bruiser that he is. Also, his post seasons are nothing to brag about either.
Today’s post is a trivia quiz on sports for those crazy-ass sports fanatics that are waiting to show me how good they are. We shall see. As always the answers are at the bottom.
Where did the territorial-capture board game Go originate, 4000 years ago?
During a serve in American racquetball, what is the first surface the ball must hit after the racket?
How many unique numbers are used in Sudoku?
When did Ralph Samuelson invent waterskiing?
What is the minimum number of moves needed to achieve checkmate in chess?
Which of these sports is not represented in the Olympics? Basketball, Cricket, Dressage, or Handball
Sam Roth hit the fastest tennis serve ever recorded in 2012. How fast was it?
Who holds the record for most points (100) in a single NBA game?
Who invented the game of Scrabble
When Bingo started sometime around 1929, what was it called?
1896
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Answers
China, The front wall, 9, 1922, 2, Cricket, 163 mi./h, Wilt Chamberlain, Alfred Mosher Butts, Beano.
I want introduce you today to a few limericks which have been laundered. I guess laundered means a lot of the truly vulgar language has been cleaned out and made more readable to entertain a larger group of people. I discovered these limericks in a very small little book published in 1960. They were newly written at the time but they’re still just as enjoyable as they were then.
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A herder who hailed from Terre Haute Fell in love with a young nanny goat. The daughter he sired Was greatly admired For her beautiful angora coat.
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There was the young laundress named Singer Whose bust was a round pink humdinger. But flat, black and blue It emerged into view The day it got caught in the wringer.
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A merchant addressing a debtor Remarked in the course of his letter. That he chose to suppose A man knows what he owes And the sooner he pays it the better.
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The bashful young bachelor Cleary Of girls was exceedingly leery. Then a lady named Lou Showed him how and with who He could render his evenings more cheery.
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And here’s a tongue twister for you.
Drew drew Lulu in a tutu, Lulu in a tutu Drew drew, Lulu drew Drew, too, Drew drew a few anew, Till who knew who in the hell drew who.
I really hate to admit this, I’ve turned into a raging paranoic. I’ve blogged many times about fake and biased news and while it’s being addressed nationally these days, a lot of everyday folks love believing everything they read or hear. Today’s blog is a list of random nonsense being spoken of by good old ordinary Americans who obviously don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. It scares me a little because the more you tell a lie the more likely it is that some of the boneheads you’re telling believe it without question. I can’t do anything to stop that but I’ll certainly point out some strange shit that I’ve been seeing and hearing recently.
More than 1% of the US population is currently in jail. FALSE
Aspirin was originally invented to treat erectile dysfunction. FALSE
Left-handed people live an average of nine years longer than right-handed people. FALSE
Legendary children’s show host Mr. Rogers was once a Marine sniper with thousands of killed under his belt. FALSE
Despite being a common joke today, Robin never actually says Holy Cow (or Toledo)Batman during any episodes. FALSE
The planet Mercury is the hottest planet in the solar system. FALSE
If we removed every boat, ship, and submarine from the oceans, sea level would fall about 6 inches. FALSE
The popular online rumor suggests that hippopotamus milk is pink. FALSE
The word FUCK was once said over 1000 times in one movie. FALSE
Humans are the only animals on earth to perform oral sex on each other. FALSE
I thought today since its rather comfortable and cool I should leisurely look through my archives for a few dirty jokes to make you smile. We are expecting a rather nasty heat wave heading our way and I won’t be smiling much longer. Also, these are really just off-color jokes rather than the plain old filthy and dirty jokes I’ve posted previously.
A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on his porch in his favorite rocking chair with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what the hell are you doing?”, he asked. The old man looked off in the distance and didn’t answer him. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting here naked below the waist?, he asked once again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, “Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a really stiff neck. This was your grandma’s idea.”
Q. What’s the difference between your wages and a penis? A. You don’t have to beg your girlfriend to blow your wages.
A wife went to see her therapist and said, “I’ve got a big problem, Doctor.” Every time we’re in bed and my husband has an orgasm, he lets out an earsplitting yell.” My dear, the shrink said, “that’s completely natural. I don’t see what the problem is.” The problem is dammit, it keeps waking me up.”
There are three girls, and their boyfriends who all have the same name. So in order to keep them from getting confused, they decided to give their boyfriends nicknames. The first stated, “I call my man Seven Up.” They asked her, “Why do you call your man that?” She says, “Because he has 7 inches and it’s always up.” They then asked the second girl what she calls her man. She says, “I call my man Mountain Dew.” Why on earth do you call him that?” She says, Because he likes to mount and do me.” They then asked the third girl the same question and she replied, “I like to call my man Jack Daniels.” They look at her in a puzzled way, Why do you call your man that? Jack Daniels is a hard liquor!” She stated emphatically, “EXACTLY!”
Games and gamers seen to be all the rage these days and I absolutely love it. I’ve been a computer gamer for more than twenty-five years and have enjoyed every minute of it. I became quite proficient at almost every gaming system I could find. This quiz will address everyone’s knowledge about games, so lets see how we do. The answers are listed below.
Which property represented as a railroad on the Monopoly gameboard was not actually a railroad?
What is the standard width of the bowling alley-gutters not included?
In what game do you find taws, bowlers, reelers, and monnies?
Fred Cox, former Minnesota Viking kicker, holds the patent on what athletic toy?
The popular board game did New Yorker Alfred Butta invent in 1931 and finally send to market in 1948?
What game featured ghosts named Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde?
How many bills does each player gets at the beginning of a game of Monopoly?
How did the French game known as hazards come to be called craps in the United States?
Where were the first outdoor miniature golf courses in the United States built?
In what sport is a battledore used?
ANSWERS
Short Line. It was really a bus company, 41 1/2 inches, Marbles, The Nerf ball, Scrabble, Pac-Man, 27, The game was introduced in New Orleans in 1813 by a Creole man named Johnny Crapaud and it later became known as “Craps”, On rooftops in New York City in 1926, In badminton, it’s the racket used to hit the shuttlecock.
Why is it that most married men after a time pray for, “silence”. I can honesty say that I’ve never heard a woman demanding “silence” unless it’s to give them a way to interrupt my conversation. Standup comics have made it a part of their monologues on a number of occasions so maybe it’s just a male thing. I’ve always whined about my need for peace and quiet but never realized I was not alone in that. Today I offer up the thoughts of many so-called famous people on how they feel about “silence”.
He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction. Proverbs 13:3
Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn. George Bernard Shaw
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln
Speech is silver, silence is golden. French proverb
If a word be worth one shekel, silence is worth two. Hebrew proverb
Silence is also speech. Yiddish proverb
Silence is the ultimate weapon of power. Charles de Gaulle
Keep quiet and people will think you are a philosopher. Latin proverb
He has the gift of quiet. John le Carre
He is not a fool who knows when to hold his tongue. Abraham Lincoln
The heatwave continues making all of us suffer for another week with no end in sight. I’m recuperating from recent cataract surgery and I’m somewhat limited to certain activities. Fortunately, writing the blog and working on my paintings has been approved without consequences. I thought today we’d have a little trivia test on the early years of cinema. As always the answers will be listed below.
For what two films did Elizabeth Taylor win best actress Oscars?
What American actress once described herself as “pure as the driven slush”?
Who was Gene Kelly’s unusual dancing partner in the imaginative 1945 film, Anchors Away?
Whose lengthy Oscar acceptance speech prompted the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to set a time limit for later award ceremonies?
In the 1968 film 2001: A Space Odyssey, what song did HAL, the computer, learn to sing?
What was the movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn’s real name?
In what film did the star *proposed by saying, “Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse”?
What film star won a special Oscar as “the most outstanding personality of 1934”?
Or which Alfred Hitchcock film did artist Salvador Dali designed the graphics?
Who did Fred Astaire name as his favorite dance partner?
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The Answers
Butterfield 8 and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Tallulah Bankhead, Jerry the animated mouse from the cartoon show, Greer Garson who spent 5 1/2 min. at the 1943 ceremonies for the film, were Mrs. Miniver, A Bicycle Built For Two, Samuel Goldfish, A Day at the Races with Groucho Marx, Shirley Temple, Spellbound in 1945, Gene Kelly.
It’s another gray and rainy day here in Maine which always gives me a terrible case of the blahs. So, this is the perfect day for me to return to my easel and complete some art projects that I’ve had going on for some weeks now. I can just relax and get into “the zone” while working on these projects which helps me forget what a really crappy day it is. With that thought in mind, I dug into my archives of old limericks for a selection dated in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s. Maybe one or more of them will make you smile a bit, who knows? For the most part they are rated PG.
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A virgin emerged from her bath In a state of righteous wrath, For she had been deflowered When she bent as she showered, And the handle was right in the path.
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A born again Christian named Claire Was having her first love affair. As she climbed into bed She reverently said, “I wish to be opened with prayer.”
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A penny-less colleague named Cy, Remark to a lass passing by, “I’ve never adjusted To being flat busted.” Said she, with a sigh, “Nor have I.”
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There was a young fellow named Dice Who remarked, ‘They say bigamy’s nice. Even two is a bore I prefer three or four, For the plural of spouse, it is spice.”
I thought I’d try something a little different today. I usually have lists of trivia facts about all sorts of topics and at times they can be interesting, funny, and every so often downright weird. Today’s trivia is a little more on the darker side but still interesting. Here are ten bits of trivia that’ll make you think and possibly shudder a little.
Howard Hughes at times wore empty tissue boxes as shoes. He also blew his nose in his socks.
Napoleon Bonaparte was afraid of cats, but he wasn’t alone: other ailurophobe’s included Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, and Julius Caesar.
Actress Cybill Shepherd dated Elvis Presley in the early 1970s and once hinted on the Oprah Winfrey show that she had to teach the singer how to perform cunnilingus.
And here are two Osbourne family tidbits. Kelly Osbourne once expressed interest in posing nude for Playboy, but said that her breasts would need “some airbrushing.” Playboy founder Hugh Hefner later replied, “We don’t airbrush to that extent.”
Sharon Osbourne, wife of the late great Ozzy Osbourne, once admitted to sending her own excrement wrapped in Tiffany boxes to several people who criticized her family. When a journalist criticized her teenage children, Jack and Kelly, Ms. Osborne sent a box of excrement with a note that read, “I heard you got an eating disorder. Eat this.“
After his death in 1955, Elbert Einstein’s brain was removed and kept in a jar by Thomas Stoltz Harvey, the pathologist who conducted Einstein’s autopsy. Harvey was later fired from his job at Princeton Hospital for refusing to relinquish the organ.
Once upon a time an Italian stripper suffocated to death after waiting an hour to jump out of a sealed cake at a bachelor party.
The Cannibal Killer, Dorangel Vargas, The Hannibal Lector of the Andes, told the press that he preferred the taste of men to women, and never ate hands, feet, or testicles. “I have standards, you know”, said Vargas.
The FBI estimates that more than half a million pedophiles are online every day.
Television remote controls are the worst carriers of bacteria in hospital rooms; they spread antibiotic resistant Staphylococcus, which contributes to the 90,000 annual deaths from infection acquired in hospitals.
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