Archive for the ‘Art’ Category
Since my retirement I’ve become addicted to watching old black and white movies and TV shows. Say what you want, it takes more than special effects to make a movie or TV worth watching. I’ve been hooked on the old Wyatt Earp shows, Peter Gunn, and The Saint (both movies and TV). It amazes me how well they’ve held up over the decades since their production. Todays quiz involves ten questions about old movies and TV shows. As always the answers will be listed below.
- What famous character actor prepared for a career in psychiatry, studying and working with pioneer psychoanalysts Sigmund Freud and Alfred Adler, before turning to acting?
- Who wrote the scripts for his own films under pseudonyms that included Otis T. Criblecoblis and Mahatma K. Jeeves?
- Who provided Mickey Mouse’s high-pitched voice in the early Walt Disney film starring the animated mouse?
- Who sung Miss Piggy singing voice in The Muppet Movie?
- Who played Scorpio, the statistic killer, in Clint Eastwood’s 1971 film, Dirty Harry?
- What was Boris Karloff’s real name?
- Who was Fred Astaire’s first silver screen dancing partner?
- Who played Vincent Price’s menacing music assistant in the 3-D horror film House of Wax?
- Where did Charlie Chaplin place when he entered a Charlie Chapman look-alike contest in Monte Carlo?
- In what film did the star propose by saying, “Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse?”
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Answers
Peter Lorre, W.C. Fields, Walt Disney, Johnny Mathis, Andy Robinson son of Edward G., William Henry Pratt, Joan Crawford, Charles Bronson, Third Place, Groucho Marx.
- The childhood nickname for advice columnist Ann Landers was “Eppie”.
- The name of the Weasley owl in the Harry Potter series of books by J.K. Rowling was “Errol”.
- The letters FTD originally stood for Florists Transworld Delivery.
- The word Pennsylvania is misspelled on the Liberty Bell as “Pensylvania”
- The 19 1/2 foot tall statue that stands atop the U.S. Capitol building in Washington D.C. was designed by Thomas Crawford, installed on December 2, 1863, and is named the Statue of Freedom.
- The letters TCB of the gold pendant often worn by Elvis Presley, stood for “Taking care of business.”
- Tokyo Tsushin Denki was the original name of the Sony Corporation.
- Woolworth is a term in bowling for a 5-10 split.
- “For breakfast it’s dandy, for snacks it’s quite handy, or eat it like candy.” was the original advertising slogan for Post Sugar Crisp Cereal.
- Eric Clapton’s last name was actually “Clapp”.
And finally something interesting from Maine.
A 15-year-old resident of Farmington Maine who invented earmuffs in 1873 was Chester Greenwood.
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EVERYUSELESSTHING RULES
I love weird. Always have and always will. That being said here are a few samples of unusual facts you may not have heard before. Like I always say, THE WEIRDER THE BETTER.
- Killer whales occasionally will eat a deer that’s not paying attention while getting a drink.
- Approximately 80% of all individual animals on the earth are nematodes.
- For every human on the earth, there are approximately 1,000,000 ants.
- Bananas are technically berries. Strawberries and raspberries are not.
- The average weight of a cumulus cloud is 1.1 million pounds.
- Monogamous animals include beavers, wolves, and swans.
- Algae and plankton produce more oxygen than trees.
- It would take over one million mosquitos to completely drain a human being of blood.
- The average 200-pound human carries between two and six pounds of bacteria.
- Female koala bears have two vaginas.
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A Fav
Buzz Aldrin claims to be the first man to pee on the moon.
I’ll be diving deep into the past for some nasty and funny limericks categorized under the label of “Chamber of Horrors”. These are all dated between 1938 and 1944 and reflect a reference or two about the war. Enjoy . . .
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It was on the seventh of December
That Franklin D. took out his member.
He said, like the bard,
“It will be long and very hard,
Pearl Harbor has given me something to remember.”
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It’s a helluva fix that we’re in
When the geographical spread of the urges to sin
Causes juvenile delinquency
With increasing frequency
By the Army, the Navy, and Errol Flynn.
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Said a platinum blonde from Warsaw,
As she looked at herself in the raw,
“Neath my umbilicus
(And as like Mike as Ike is)
There’s a picture of George Bernard Shaw.”
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When the Nazis landed in Crete,
This young harlot had to compete
With many Storm Troopers
Who were using their poopers
For other things than to excrete.
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WAR IS HELL BUT PEACE TIME IS A MOTHERF**KER
Once again my searching through online used-book stores has paid off. I know how much most of you enjoy these quizzes that I occasionally post, so here’s another. This quiz concerns a decade I remember well, the 1970’s. I was living in Columbus, Ohio and working as a private investigator. It was a wild and crazy time that should be remembered because everything seemed much freer and easier than we have it these days. From what I can determine this quiz was created by a gentleman named Bill O’Neill. I scored a measly 6 correct out of ten and I’m forced to hang my head in shame. Let’s see how some of you do. As always the answers will be below.
1. What year did the blockbuster film Star Wars hit the theaters?
2. The Keep On Truckin’ cartoon/meme was first written by _____________?
3. What was the name of the New York City disco club that became world-famous in the 70’s?
4. _______________was the “inventor” of the pet rock?
5. What old sci-fi character inspired George Lucas to write Star Wars?
6. Who was the television producer who created many “socially conscious” sitcoms in the 1970’s?
7. What was one of the problems with 8-track tapes ______________?
8. What band performed the hit disco tune “Get Down Tonight”?
9. Who was one of the two veteran British actors who had a role in Star Wars?
10. What was Star Wars’ budget?
Answers
1977, Robert Crumb, Studio 54, Gary Dahl, Flash Gordan, Norman Lear, The tracks would change mid-song, KC and the Sunshine Band, Peter Cush or Alec Guinness, $11 million.
LOVED THAT 70’S SHOW TOO!
I’m pretty sure the title of this post will catch the attention of most readers. Sex seems to be the one unifying subject that everyone wants to hear about and discuss endlessly. I can only speak for myself, but I just love dirty jokes, the dirtier the better. I normally have less fondness for the milder sexual humor, but I plan on sharing some of that with you today. It’s not often that go “mild” so all of you overly sensitive types should enjoy these one-liners. I may never ever go this “mild” again so enjoy them if you can. I see a plethora of really dirty jokes in our immediate future so be patient.
- Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
- The couple next door has recently made a sex tape. Obviously, they don’t know that yet.
- My ex-girlfriend would always ask me to text her when I got in. That’s how small my penis is.
- Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
- I’m hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to have orgasms. If you can’t come, let me know.
- I always call out my wife’s name during sex . . . just to make sure she’s not around.
- Men have only two emotions – hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
- What’s the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot? The amount of time you’ll spend looking for it.
- My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
- My wife told me “Sex is better on vacation”. That wasn’t a very nice postcard to receive.
A man got onto a train and sat next to a woman reading a magazine on “Sexual Statistics. “Any good?” he asked. “Fascinating” she replied. “American Indians have the thickest penises and Polish men have the longest.” “Bye the way, I’m Jane.” “Hi” he said “I’m Tonto Kaminski.”
PRUDES AREN’T HOT BUT THEY WANT TO BE.
Now that Easter has come and gone, things can get back to normal (scary thought). What better way to follow up an Easter celebration than with a posting of a few rude and borderline bawdy limericks. I would rate these four limericks PG because I certainly wouldn’t want to shock any of those innocent children out there as well as the many prudes who love to comment on them. Here we go.
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There was a young man of Missouri
Who screwed with a terrible fury,
Till hauled into court
For his bestial sport,
And condemned by a poorly hung jury.
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There was a young fellow named Bill
Who swallowed an atomic pill.
His navel corroded,
His asshole exploded,
And they found his nuts in Brazil.
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And then there the story that’s fraught
With disaster – of balls that got caught,
When the chap took a crap
In the woods, and a trap
Underneath . . .Oh, I can’t bear the thought!
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There was a lady golfer named Duff
With a lovely, luxuriant muff.
In his haste to get in her
One eager beginner
Lost both of his balls in the rough.
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FORE !!!
AHHHH MAMMARIES
I hesitate to publish this post because it’s sure to irritate and piss off many of my women readers. I also expect that many men will have the opposite reaction and here’s why. Many men and a select percentage of women are attracted to and obsessed by female breasts. This post is meant to be humorous, so anyone disturbed by the content please just exit the blog and continue to live the remainder of your life breast-free. I found this list of euphemisms to be informative as well as funny (LOL) because I’m also a huge fan of women’s breasts. If you like breasts and have a healthy sense of humor just read on.
- Babaloos, baby pillows, bazongas, bazooms, bodacious tatas, boobies, bouncers, bra busters, butter bags, cream jugs, cupcakes droopers, fried eggs, garbonzos, grapefruits, hand warmers, headlights, honeydews, hooters, jugs, kajoobies, knockers, love bubbles, lungs, maracas, melons, milk bottles, the milky way, mountains, muffins, peaches, superdroopers, swingers, torpedos, the treasure chest, tremblers, twin loveliness, the twins, the girls, the udders, the upper deck, and of course watermelons.
This is really an incomplete list and I’m sure if I investigated further, I could come up with many more examples. If you’d like to make my life a little easier, drop me a comment with any important nicknames I may have missed. This is of course all done tongue-in-cheek but being a breast afficionado I would gratefully accept any help that is offered.
LOVE THEM ALL – BIG AND SMALL
- Humans spend two years of their life making love.
- A recent survey revealed by prostitutes that the sexual act they are most often asked to perform is fellatio.
- The Ramses condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II, who fathered more than 160 children.
- More than 1,000,000 condoms are sold in the US – that being only 0.4% of the population.
- The average bra size is now 36C. Ten years ago it was 34B.
- According to a recent American study the candle is the device most used by women during masturbation.
- Sixteen years and two months is the average age for the loss of female virginity in the US.
- The average penguin has only one orgasm a year.
- On rare occasions menstrual cramps can induce orgasms.
- Less than 30% of parents say they can talk openly about sex with their children.
My Fav
According to a Caribbean cruise line 58% of their passengers are unable to wait more than ten hours before making love. A lifeboat is the fourth most popular place on a ship to have sex. The whirlpool bath ranked first.
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I VOTE YES TO SEX ON A BOAT
I’ve had a number of readers requesting another batch of jokes and humor from the 1980’s. As I compile these lists, I’ve discovered that they’re funnier today than they were when originally written. It just verifies that even low class and nasty humor lasts forever. Enjoy!
- What is a barroom? An elephant farting in an elevator shaft.
- How do you get even with the guy who’s trying to steal your wife? Let him have her.
- What happens when you sit on wet cement? You get hardening of the farteries.
- What does a gynecologist do when he’s feeling sentimental? Looks up an old girlfriend.
- What do you call a lesbian who drives a delivery truck full of dildoes? A dick van dyke.
- What’s worse than a piano that’s out of tune? An organ that stops working in the middle of a piece.
- Why did the girl fail Sex Education? She couldn’t come for the oral exam.
- How many straight New York waiters does it take to change a light bulb? Both of them.
- Why is a fat girl like a moped? They’re both fun to ride until your friends see you.
- What do you do when your girlfriend tells you to “kiss her where it smells?” Drive her to New Jersey.
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Here’s one that really hits home for those of us who grew up during the 60’s and 70’s.
What’s the one most important rule at an orgy?
To come with the person who brought you.
