Archive for the ‘Bitch & Complain’ Category
Today I’d like to talk about retirement. Being retired has it’s pluses and just as many minuses. You have the all the time you’ll ever need to do just about anything you’ve ever wanted to do. You have a type of freedom you’ve never experienced before. The main thing missing from the mix is motivation. Having that much time on your hands can lure you into closely examining your entire life, both good things and bad. You can also fall into the trap of second guessing every bad decision you’ve ever made and make yourself crazy. That’s the worst and most dangerous thing about retirement. If you can’t find a way to control it you just might become one truly miserable SOB with no friends or close relationships.
My transition to retirement has been a challenge to say the least. It’s took me almost four years to make the changeover to where I could maintain a level of happiness and calmness about my life, my aging, and my relationships with others. There’s no longer room for self-recriminations, whining about old mistakes, and rethinking of failed relationships. As they always say "Life is too short." I’ve been able to make peace with my past life and I’m ready for the next phase. I still spend time thinking about my childhood and my childhood friends many of whom have passed but it’s no longer a painful process and has finally become just a plethora of fond old memories. I sat down and started making a list of certain things I do miss from those days and the following are just a few that quickly came to mind.
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Spending a summer weekend at my grandparents house so I could attend the local carnival which came to town for just one week each year. It was a big deal for that small town and all of us looked forward to it all year long.
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I miss my childhood friends and knowing how to pretend. We had more fun using just our imaginations than we’d ever have had sitting in front of a TV playing a video game. Believe me, I’m not biased against video games at all. I’ve been a member in good standing with X-Box and Microsoft for decades. Imagination always offered me much more in the way of entertainment value.
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Playing catch with my best friend for hours and hours.
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Spending my summers playing baseball and roaming through the woods and streams near my home.
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Playing with friends on and in the Allegheny River. Jumping from bridges, rowing an old bathtub across the river, being escorted to shore by the Coast Guard for being in places we didn’t belong.
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Spending quality time with both of my grandfathers. I miss them both everyday.
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Eating baked potatoes with the family cooked in the ashes of a bonfire in the back yard.
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Eating fresh apples stolen from a nearby orchard. They always tasted so much better when you could run faster than the owner who was chasing you.
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Sledding with all of my friends in the hood of an old car. Ten of us flying down the hill together with no fear of anything.
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Skiing with friends on skis made from barrel rungs. We couldn’t afford real skis. I never skied much further than twenty feet anyway before I fell on my ass and rolled down the hill laughing all the way.
That’s just a few of the many memories I love reliving. I’m no longer pissed off that I can’t do most of those things anymore, I’m just happy that I had a chance to do them at all.
I’m standing at my kitchen window sipping on an extremely hot cup of coffee and watching my neighbors as they walk with their daughters out to the main road and the school bus that will start this new school year. Their younger daughter isn’t quite old enough for school but she’s there to see her sister off and seems very excited by the whole experience. They’re taking lots of photo’s to mark this special occasion as I’m sure they will do for many years to come.
The older daughter’s of another neighbor were seen packing their cars a few days ago and are now off to college to begin their school year. They also seemed excited to begin another year that moves them a little closer to independence and a life of their own.
For me this is the beginning-of-the-end of summer. I’m excited by the tourist season being over as I again watch them leaving the area in droves. By next week the population of many nearby coastal towns will drop almost ninety percent. Many of the beach businesses will close for the season and our lives can slowly get back to what we consider normal. My better-half and I are looking forward once again to visiting several bars and restaurants we’ve been avoiding all summer. Large crowds, high parking fees, and higher than normal prices have kept us away all summer long. It’s northing new just a normal transition we have to deal with every September. Caravans of vehicles heading north to return to Canadian soil and just as many heading south to Boston and beyond.
Our summer gardening is also coming to an end and the Fall season will be upon us in no time. We’ll visit a few local fairs and festivals and of course the big Fryeburg Fair and I’ll be getting out the snow thrower and preparing it for the coming season. I’ve lined up a few winter projects and also collected a healthy stack of books to read during the next five months. Then we’ll settle in for what will hopefully be a quiet and thoughtful Winter with just enough snow to keep things fresh and clean until Spring.
I always look forward to Winter if for no other reason than the time it offers me to read, think, and write. This blog becomes a major priority once again and I’ll finally have the proper amount of time to research things I want to write about. That the best relaxation I can think of and I ‘m looking forward to it.
As is painfully obvious from many of my earlier posts I’m not a huge fan of attorneys. I wouldn’t broad-brush all of them because I know many that do their jobs well. Unfortunately they’re in the minority since we as a nation have become over-run with a ridiculous number of lawyers. They’ve spent decades slowly and deliberately turning the United States from a common sense way of thinking country to our current levels of lawsuit paranoia. The fact that ninety percent of judges are either former politicians or attorneys easily explains our country’s litigious difficulties.
They’ve managed to weasel their way into every facet of our lives. Suing one and all with a landslide of frivolous lawsuits that have clogged up our court system for years to come. Here are just a few examples.
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A convicted bank robber on parole entered a bank, went up to the teller, and said, "Give me the money. I’ve got a bomb." The bank teller did as instructed, except that hidden in the rolls of money turned over to the robber was an anti-robbery device that released tear gas. The device functioned as intended .. and the robber sued the bank.
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Sometimes, being frugal can cost you more than anticipated. While apparently trying to steal a soft drink from a vending machine in 1998, 19-year-old Kevin Mackle was rocking it dangerously. Suddenly, the weight shift was too hot to handle and the contraption fell on him. The man died following the accident. His relatives sued Coca-Cola Co., two other companies, and Bishop’s University in Lennoxville, Quebec (for about $660,000 US in damages and funeral costs) alleging that the machine was not secured and bore no warning signs.
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A minister and his wife sued a guide-dog school for $160,000 after a blind man learning to use a seeing-eye dog stepped on the woman’s toe. She sought $80,000 for medical bills, pain & suffering, humiliation and disability. Her husband sought the same amount for loss of his wife’s care, comfort and consortium.
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A 27-year-old man from Michigan was involved in a rear-end collision. Four years later, he sued the owners of the truck that was responsible for the accident. Having suffered minor injuries, he stated that from then on, his sexual relationship with his wife deteriorated, as he was unable to maintain their sex life. He claimed that he had been so affected by the crash that his personality had been forever changed. In fact, he maintained that the accident turned him into a homosexual. He left his wife, moved in with his parents, began hanging out in gay bars, and became a fervent reader of gay literature. He won his case and was awarded $200,000, while his wife received $25,000.
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A woman went to her friend’s house and asked for a haircut. Unhappy with her new look, she claimed her friend had willfully, intentionally and maliciously cut her hair without her consent … and sued him for $75,000.
I could continue with hundreds more of these useless and costly lawsuits but what’s the point. In the majority of these cases the attorney is paid a large percentage of the money won. It’s called taking a case on contingency. The same strategy used for those individuals suing the government for disability benefits for a variety of addictions, both drug and alcohol related. These attorney believe if you throw enough crap against a wall, some of it is bound to stick. Free money . . . . Yeah!
These so called attorneys-at-law have also forced companies to over label our everyday products due to fear of lawsuits. I actually saw an aluminum step ladder for sale in a nearby Home Center that had a sticker on the top step. Of course it stated an important and secret fact that we weren’t aware of: This is the Last Step – Don’t Stand Here. The “Nanny State” strikes again. Not only is the advice on many of these labels utterly obvious, many are just plain stupid. Here are a few of those.
- On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
- On a package of peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
- On a child’s Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
- On Sears Hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
- On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like other soap.
- On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
- On frozen food package:
Product will be hot after heating.
- On packaging of an iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
- On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
We’ve allowed this to go on for so long it’s now become the norm. We have only ourselves to blame when we’ve allowed the pursuit of possible free money to completely corrupt our judicial system. It was never meant to a be a gravy-train for those less than scrupulous attorneys who finally got tired of chasing ambulances.
Not being a huge football or sports fan has distinct advantages for me. I can ridicule any team at any time for any reason and I do as often as I can. It’s difficult because so many people admire, desire, and worship these football heroes (I use the term loosely) that they’ll attack anyone who isn’t awed by the mere sight of them. My hero worshiping days were short lived after all of the scandals: cheating, lying, steroid use, and criminal activities. No more sports heroes for me thank you very much. I’ll stick to the real heroes, our servicemen and women who sacrifice so these hulks can make millions of dollars and be praised by the masses.
Here are a few notable quotes, past and present, by some of those sports heroes. Thank God all of their colleges found a way to help them graduate.
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Shaquille O’Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can’t really remember the names of all the clubs that we went to."
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season…"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." – Joe Theismann
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for four years, not Princeton."
Shaquille O’Neal, on his lack of championships: "I’ve won at every level, except college and pro."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team’s 7-27 record: "We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. As general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play."
Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn’s football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet."
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.’ "
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What more needs to be said? The more they insist on standing up and talking to the media the more material I’ll have for postings like this. Keep close tabs on your sports programs for those pregame, half-time, and post game interviews. They’re almost as entertaining as the games.
Since today is Sunday and a day of rest for many of you, I thought a few miscellaneous items and a little humor might be the thing to do. It’s a late Summer’s day on a holiday weekend that begins to prepare us for what’s coming, SNOW.
My better-half and I are looking forward to the upcoming Fryeburg Fair which we attend every year. It’s a huge gathering of every farmer and their livestock from across the country. This year will be the first visit for her new grandson and she can’t wait to drag his little butt there to look at the pigs. As I’ve mentioned previously my better-half has something of a pig fetish. We’ll spend between eight and ten hours eating terribly unhealthy food, walking miles and miles through huge crowds, and attending the Pig Scramble and Woodsman contests. I know it sounds a little lame but it really isn’t. It’s one of the few things we both enjoy a great deal.
We’re also looking forward to taking hundreds of photographs of the Fall season whose beauty never ceases to amaze. Actually Fall has slowly over the years become my favorite time of the year. We’ll have the harvest season, Fall foliage, and many small local fairs to visit on most weekends. You can say what you want but small local fairs are the best. It will again be a great time for our family and friends.
My first item today is a joke I stumbled on recently. It is laugh-out-loud funny and I hope you enjoy it.
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In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant.
Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe’ s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly .
Probably wasn’t the same elephant.
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I would also like to take a few minutes to thank these new followers to this blog. I include their links as well and I hope you give their blogs a look-see and enjoy reading them as much as I do. Thanks to them all.
Eric Carlson, Karen Ellis, dmmd1983, L-Jay Health, What Happens to Us, mr688475, growupproper, mychangeviews, Nate Ollie, adoptingjames, Rein, jasminekeclipse, projectlighttolife, Gabriel Lucatero.
HAVE A GREAT LABOR DAY WEEKEND
Have you ever just been standing around people watching and wondering about things? I have. Do certain things you see and hear make you wonder what the hell is going on? I thought it only right that I look into some of these matter because they bother the hell out of me.
Take a moment and come up with a few of your own. They are every where it seems and no one has any answers as to why.
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Why is it that women show up at Walmart in a pink sweat-suit that’s two sizes too small with “Hot & Juicy” stitched across the butt?
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Why does the sun lightens our hair, but darken our skin?
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Why can’t women put on mascara without opening their mouths?
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Why are they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
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If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress?
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Why must you click on "Start" to stop Windows 7?
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Why is it that lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
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Why haven’t we ever seen the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
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Why does a fiftyish man have a comb over more than 5 inches long and things no one notices?
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Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
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What possesses a person to paint his house pink?
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Why do doctors call what they do "practice"?
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Why aren’t planes made from the same material used for the indestructible black boxes ?
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Why did they ever decide to name the airport "The Terminal"?
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What thought process occurs to cause an beautiful and intelligent young lady to streak her hair red and pierce her nose in three different places?
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Why isn’t there a mouse-flavored cat food and what person tastes dog food when it has a "New & Improved" flavor?
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Why do they bother to sterilize the needles used for lethal injections?
Who can answer these questions? I need some answers and I need them now? How can I be convinced that your basic average human being is intelligent and right-thinking when I see hundreds of these types of things every week. It just doesn’t fill me with much confidence that the human race can survive itself. It’s just more than a little scary.
Football Season is fast approaching and for those of you who are fanatical, you’re probably already in a serious state of FAN (Football Arousal Narcosis). You find yourself sexually aroused by wide screen HD televisions, satellite NFL packages, and the occasional busty cheerleaders. I must warn you that you’re playing with fire. Sometime in January when the end of the season is approaching and the withdrawal starts setting in you may find yourself becoming sexually attracted to Terry Bradshaw. If that happens proceed directly to rehab, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars.
I’m not a sports fanatic in any way, shape, or form. The only sports I watch religiously are as many games of the Little League World Series as I can. Those games seem more real and genuine to me than watching a bunch of grown men spending more than three hours to play nine innings of baseball for a few million dollars a year and all the steroid and drug enhancements they can consume. This time of the year is when the pregame and postgame analysis programs kidnap prime time TV and fill the airways with an ungodly number of continuous sports metaphors and clichés. It makes me just a little crazy.
Unfortunately those metaphors have slowly and insidiously made their way into our daily language. If you didn’t already know that, WAKE UP. We have "ballpark figures", "drop back and punt", and "going the whole nine yards". It’s also a sprint, a boxing match, even a demolition derby. It has leaders and trailers, boasts knockout punches, and will go down to the wire, the buzzer, or the final whistle.” Check these out:
“I was blind-sided by all the talk about the mortgage and someone else bought the house before me.”
“Critics of President Obama used bump and run tactics to impede the implementation of a Republican directive.”
“When Tom retired Larry carried the ball for the next 9 months and the project was completed.”
“If we get the new machinery, we will be dancing in the zone in September.”
‘”Paul fumbled the sale when he failed to return the client’s call.”
“The Democrats game plan totally revolved around the promise of jobs.”
“The lawyers decided to settle after a brief huddle.”
“After John’s failure to win the building contract, his colleagues only made things worse with their Monday morning quarterbacking.
“President Obama caves in over and over again. He punts on first down.”
These examples are just the tip of the iceberg. As we progress through the season begin listening carefully to the everyday newscasters, pundits, and anyone else speaking to you from your television screen. You’ll be absolutely amazed.
AND FOR MY LATER FATHER’S BENEFIT – GO STEELERS!
It feels like a good day for a journal entry. As the summer winds down my better-half and I have been very busy with the garden and the canning of everything possible. Even though the weather’s been a little strange at times this summer overall it’s still been very productive.
I’ve been forced to work very hard this week due to the subpar garden fabric I purchased at Home Depot earlier his year. Because of the failure of the fabric to eliminate the ever present weeds I’m now faced with several days of back breaking work to clean up weeds and begin to remove plants that have run their course. I worked on my hands and knees for three hours removing weeds and pieces of surviving fabric and being ever so careful not to damage the hot pepper plants that are still producing. I have a small trailer for my lawn tractor and I filled it twice with weeds in almost no time.
The Cayenne, Serrano, and bell peppers are still going strong and should continue for a few more weeks. The cold nights aren’t helping but what can I do? I’ve removed fifty percent of the cucumber plants because we are becoming overwhelmed with them. I canned more than forty pints of hot Bread & Butter pickles and could have done at least that many more. Truthfully I ‘m just tired of looking at them. I found myself dreaming about pickles a couple of recent nights which was a little disturbing to say the least. I’ve taken three handful of rhubarb seeds and planted an area behind the house with them. If we’re lucky next spring might bring us an entire new patch of rhubarb. The plants from last year have done well and next summer we’ll be making some killer strawberry-rhubarb jam.
I’m really tired of this weeding. I’ll need to check with a nearby friend for advice on what fabric to buy for next year. I don’t plan on ever doing this again even if it cost me a few additional dollars.
We’ve successfully filled the larder with pickles, relishes, herb flavored vinegars, vegetable mixes (for stir-fry’s), spicy pasta sauce, salsa (2 large batches), and three batches of jams. We spent one recent day at our favorite blackberry patch and within a half hour collected close to three quarts of blackberries. The triple-berry jam recipe is to die for and we’ll now have more than enough for the winter and as gifts for friends. I might even consider a small batch of black berry wine if we have enough berries.
All in all a very successful summer. We’ve now started winding down in preparation for winter and it already feels like Fall and it’s still only August. I’m planning on rebuilding a portion of the garden and changing things around a little. Then it’s soil preparation, fertilizing, and waiting for the snow to fly.
I’d like to chat further but I’ve got more work to do before my better-half gets home from work.
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Just as an afterthought here’s a little something I just received from my sister. It made me laugh out loud and that’s always a good thing. Enjoy.
HOW IS NORMA?
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked,
"Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing ?"
The operator said,
"I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient ?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said "Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied,
"Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse’s station for that room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said,
"Thank you. That’s wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."
The operator replied,
"You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter ?"
The grandmother said,
"No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit."
"I’m sarcastic, it isn’t going to change, so get over it.” I should have that sentence made into a really long bumper sticker. Those of you out there who are my brothers and sisters in sarcasm will understand completely. Those of you who are immune to sarcasm, you have my deepest sympathies (NOT TRUE).
I came by my ability honestly to turn almost anything said to me into a reciprocal sarcastic reply with little or no effort. I began developing this superpower at age ten when I discovered that I could deflect parents, adults, and bullies with sarcasm which in turn kept me from being beaten, spanked, and bothered. I decided then and there that using wit, sarcasm, and glib remarks was a valuable tool and I should refine it. If used properly and politely along with clever conversation it can also make you a bit more desirable to the ladies (PROVEN FACT). That in itself justified all of the time and effort I put into becoming a sarcasm expert.
As always when I write about things I try to research the meanings of the words I’m using. All of the intellectuals who are responsible for compiling dictionaries and encyclopedias describe sarcasm very clinically and for the most part in a negative fashion as this will clearly show:
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In sarcasm, ridicule or mockery is used harshly, often crudely and contemptuously (NOT ALWAYS TRUE), for destructive purposes (NEVER). It may be used in an indirect manner and have the form of irony (THIS WOULD BE ME), as in "Your ass really looks great in that dress or ”What a fine musician you turned out to be!". It may also be used in the form of a direct statement, "You couldn’t play one piece correctly if you had two assistants." The distinctive quality of sarcasm is present in the spoken word and manifested chiefly by vocal intonation.
Hostile, critical comments may be expressed in an ironic way, such as saying "don’t work too hard" to a lazy worker (BEEN THERE, DONE THAT). The use of irony introduces an element of humour which may make the criticism seem more polite and less aggressive (ME AGAIN). Sarcasm can frequently be unnoticed in print form, oftentimes requiring the intonation or tone of voice to indicate the quip or a note added to let people know (SEE BELOW).
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Sarcasm is a tool and a god-given talent for some but really gets no respect (ME) and viewing sarcasm as a negative really doesn’t get to the truth of it. There are some people, highly intelligent and educated, who just don’t get sarcasm. I throw sarcasm into a conversation for good reason. It allows me to gauge who understands my humor and those who don’t. It also identifies those who may be potential targets without even being aware of it.
I try (MOST OF THE TIME) not to be disrespectful during those occasions because I never want to be perceived as mean or rude. I like a lot of laughter in my life and when the people around me don’t bring anything to the table I’ll create it for them (AT THEIR EXPENSE IF NECESSARY).
AND SO TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE, HAVE A WONDERFUL AND GLORIOUS DAY (SARCASM OFF)
EVERY USELESS THING UNIVERSITY
Class is now in session, so please take your seats, pay close attention, and prepare to become a little smarter. Our lessons for today are as follows:
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Lesson #7 – Why Does Alcohol Cause People to Urinate?
The reason why people urinate so frequently while drinking alcohol is because it is a diuretic i.e., a drug that increases the amount of urine produced by the kidneys. Caffeine, too, is a diuretic.
Alcohols diuretic effect works by preventing the blood regulation function of vasopressin, and antidiuretic hormone that acts on the kidneys, compelling them to concentrate urine by increasing the resorption of water. Decrease in vasopressin therefore reduces the amount of water reabsorbed by the kidneys, resulting in the production of larger amounts of urine. This diuretic effect draws water from the body and causes a person to urinate more fluid than they imbibe.
The diuretic effect (or diuresis) is caused not by the volume of liquid drunk but by the alcohol content of the drink itself. A shot of spirits will generally cause a person to generate as much urine as they would if they drink a pint of beer.
Now you know the reason for the consistently long lines at restrooms during sporting events. The next time your at a party and you hear the phrase “I could piss like a race horse”, get out of the way and let that person pass. You certainly don’t want any back splash on your shoes.
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Lesson #8 – Why Does the Penis Shrink When It’s Cold?
In cold weather or water, a man’s penis will often retract and reduce considerably in size. This phenomenon sometimes referred to as “shrinkage”, and it occurs for a number of reasons, primarily that of temperature regulation. The testicles are contained in the scrotum and suspended away from the body, owing to the fact that sperm can be produced only when conditions are slightly cooler than the core temperature of the body. The temperature range in which sperm can be produced is very narrow, varying by only a couple of degrees, and when the environment gets too cold the scrotum retracts, drawing the testicles closer to the body to increase the temperature. As the penis is attached to the scrotum, this retraction pulls up the penis along with it.
A sufficient steep drop in temperature will also prompt the body to reduce the amount of blood circulating to the extremities and appendages, and concentrate blood flow in the core of the body in order to check the vital organs. As the size of the penis is affected greatly by the amount of blood that it receives, when a drop in temperature causes a reduction in the amount of blood reaches it, the penis shrivels and decreases in size.
Penis can also reduce in size when a man is startled or frighten, again because the body retracts the scrotum to the body for maximum protection, following the penis and with it.
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Now all of you ladies out there have the inside scoop. You should no longer take it personally if a man fails to respond to your many charms since he’s either cold, wet, startled or even frightened. If he is none of those things then you have a serious problem that can only be solved by kicking him to the curb and moving on.
CLASS DISMISSED
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