Archive for the ‘Education’ Category
‘This is written with my tongue lodged firmly in my cheek.’
Where did our Summer go? It seems like just a short time ago we were complaining about the heat and humidity and WHAM, all of a sudden we’re rolling into October and looking down the tunnel at that proverbial bright light approaching at seventy miles an hour. That light is the damn holiday season quietly sneaking up on us. It’s October for God’s sake. Doesn’t anyone care that it just too damn early to be worrying about the holidays. Stop the madness people.
I was in Lowe’s yesterday visiting my better-half who was tied up with a number of other employees doing their Christmas reset. Just shoot me now, please. What the hell are they thinking.
These retailers claim they start their seasonal BS early because of the huge demand for their holiday products. Honestly, when was the last time you ever heard anyone . . . that’s ANYONE say they were happy about seeing the Christmas season starting in early October. Never!! The truth of the matter is that the demand is created by the retailers themselves who lower their prices just enough to entice customers to the store. They can be so disingenuous at times it makes me crazy. It just goes to show you how stupid they think we the shopping public are. And sadly they’re right!
I refuse to be manipulated anymore. No early holiday nonsense for me, no Black Friday idiocy, and no paying attention to the thousands of emails that will be clogging my mailbox over the next ten weeks. I’m done with it.
I plan on spending exactly fifteen minutes on Christmas shopping this year and thank God for Amazon. A five minute walk-in at Toys R Us for two gift cards, a five minute walk-in at Home Depot for one gift card, and finally five minutes to order seven additional gift cards from Amazon. That leaves just a few gifts I need to purchase for my better-half which will be ordered on-line as well and shipped directly to our house.
Stick those gift cards in an envelope with a Christmas card and a short note and you’re DONE. No more stress, no more purchases of gifts that no one really wants or appreciates. Get your gift cards in the mail, buy what you want, and leave me alone. I never intend to spend more than an hour on Christmas preparations ever again.
I’m only asking Santa Clause for Amazon or Kindle gift cards this year since I’ve been very, very good. I’ve spent too many years getting clothing I hate and would never dare to wear, smiling and lying about how much I liked that fruit cake I received, and all of the required traveling around the countryside in terrible weather to visit people. I’m sorry folks, it’s nothing personal, but in my opinion if you’ve seen one Christmas tree you’ve seen them. So here is my collective seasons greetings for most of you in case I forget later.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
HAPPY HANUKKAH
HAPPY STUPID KWANSA
HAPPY SEINFELD FESTIVAS
MERRY CHRISTMAS
HAPPY NEW YEAR
I’m exhausted already from just listing all of this foolishness. I wish I could just go find a cave and hibernate until February 15. It would make for one of the best holiday seasons ever if I could.
BAH HUMBUG
This week isn’t one I ever look forward to. It’s the week every year when I begin to dismantle our garden. It’s been a priority for my better-half and I for the last six months requiring a tremendous amount of TLC and just as much water. It actually began last winter when we sat down at the kitchen table and planned it all out. As with all plans it never seems to workout perfectly without problems of one sort or another cropping up.
First it was the damn stunk that did everything in it’s power to destroy things. It was one lucky SOB because he survived a number of night time surveillances where I sat in the dark on the deck with a loaded rifle waiting to end his life of vandalism and mayhem. He must have a really hardworking guardian angel because I seriously wanted to do him harm. After all of the repair jobs and the new fence we reached a mutual agreement to avoid each other for the rest of the summer. I smelled him a few times at night but never met him in person (Thank God).
The weather was for the most part cooperative but you can always use more rainfall with any garden. After a slow start things picked up rather well making the garden fairly productive. Was it the best ever? No. It was just an average year due mostly to the skunk.
These pictures were taken this morning and as you can see most of the plants have been harvested and removed. All of the herbs we need for the winter have also been harvested, dried, and stored. Beginning next week I’ll begin removing the garden fabric and composting all of the frames. Then it will be tilled under and left to sit for the winter to be ready for planting in June.
Here’s the final tally for the garden and all of our efforts for 2015. The pantry has been restocked with just about everything we need for winter. My one last contribution will be a large pot of my favorite chicken soup which will supply us with at least ten to twelve hardy meals during the winter.
41 Pints of canned habanero hot B & B pickles
13 Pints of Habanero Dill Pickles
3 Pints of tripleberry jam
8 Pints of strawberry/rhubarb jam
3 Pints of strawberry jam
8 Pints of blueberry jam
2 Pints of jalapeño/rhubarb jelly
13 Quarts of Four Bean/Corn chili
14 Quarts of Black Bean/Corn salsa
2 Quad Berry/Rhubarb Tarts
15 Lbs Rhubarb
5 Loaves of Chocolate/Zucchini Bread
4 Loaves of Spice/Zucchini Bread
9 Lbs of Fresh Pea Pods
16 Lbs of Cherry Tomatoes
15 Lbs of Jalapeño Peppers
7 Lbs of Assorted Hot Peppers
20 Lbs of Fresh Zucchini
13 Lbs of Assorted Lettuces
2 Lbs of dried onion chives
1 Lb dried habanero peppers
1 Lb dried garlic chives
4 Lbs of dried and assorted mints
2 Lbs of dried oregano
1 Lb of dried parsley
This just goes to show how easy it is to supplement your food supply from a medium sized garden and a few cheap purchases from local farmers. All in all not a terrible year but next year will hopefully be even better.
A lot of people that know me really don’t know me as well as they think. I’ve been described by many over the last few years as nothing more than an old fart. While some of them do it jokingly other really seem to mean it. They don’t understand that underneath all of this sarcasm and rapier wit resides a very sensitive person who’s feelings can be easily hurt just like everyone else.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not whining only stating the facts. As of this late date I feel the only people close to me that really “get me” are my two grandsons aged three and six months. They came to visit last night for a few hours while their parents enjoyed a night by themselves away from the madness of child rearing.
‘The house looked like a Toys-R-Us exploded.’
My first job was to spend a half hour with grandson #1 chasing him around the house and generally irritating the hell out of my better-half. For a change I had a partner in crime which allowed me to misbehave a great deal more than usual and to blame it on him. We ran around the house throwing and bouncing balls in every room until he got bored, I got tired, and she got angry. Our fun night was just beginning.
I spent the next hour helping him empty out the toy box which left toys and trucks everywhere. I sat and mindlessly helped him build things and destroy other things. He made me his official play-pal when he gifted me with an honorary plastic dinosaur. The way he presented it to me made me feel like I’d just won an Oscar. He was very serious about it and it apparently held a great deal of meaning for him. I was really honored.
‘And the winner of this prestigious award is . . . . ?’
We then took a break from the action by sitting on the couch with his little brother. That little guy just makes me feel good all over because all he does is smile and giggle. I played a little paddy cake with him which I hadn’t done for more years than I care to remember. I have to admit it felt pretty good.
I’m a person who loves to eat, a true foodie, and when dinner came around I found out we’d all be eating from the three year olds menu. Since he’s partial to fish sticks, guess what, we had fish sticks. The last time I had a plate of fish sticks was more than four decades ago. That first bite took me back to age ten in one giant mouthful. It tasted exactly as I remembered and that was pretty cool.
The six month old downed a mug of thawed out mothers milk and crashed on the sofa next to me. The three year old finally ran out of his endless supply of adrenaline and fell asleep rather quickly on my chair. Even an exciting Mickey Mouse movie on Netflix couldn’t keep him awake. Unfortunately for me I’ll be singing and humming all of those catchy little tunes for the next week. The curse of Walt Disney.
‘An full hour of this is almost unbearable.’
Once they were all asleep my better-half and I returned to our reality, a cold drink and a little peace and quiet. These babysitting nights are always a lot of fun but also a little strange at times. If my mind wanders for just a moment all of a sudden I’m six years old again and playing with my childhood friends. It must be true what they say, everything we experience in our lives is stored somewhere in the brain and comes out when we least expect it.
I look forward to their next visit and the little bit of time travel that it offers.
Anyone who ever met my late father and had more than a two minute conversation with him was sure to have heard the term "Sh*t List". Some one was always being added to his never ending list and included almost anyone who ever annoyed or irritated him.
He and I disagreed on many things but I really loved the idea a list of people, places, or things that ruined my day in some fashion. My better-half and I adopted the practice a number of years ago and swore to each other to keep our candidates on the list only until they reversed their offensive actions. They could then be removed after a probationary period that included one additional visit from us showing remorse for their questionable actions or bad attitudes. It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it and there are times when I wish it wasn’t me.
Our list contains the names of dozens of retail cashiers and managers who were rude or just plain ignorant. In most cases that included the retailer they worked for and who permitted their bad behavior without taking appropriate action. Walmart has been on and off the list at least three times already and we been forced to keep a close eye on them. Home Depot was a regular offender until recently when their latest customer service program began producing excellent results.
If you’re wondering why I’m posting this information, let me explain. We consider it a public service to let people know where the places that suck are located. Today’s announcement concerns the Appleby’s restaurant located in Biddeford, Maine.
Four years ago we placed them on the list for their high prices and less than delicious food. Their waitresses were unfriendly and a bit snotty. We waited a few years until we’d heard of a major menu change to more of a bistro or sports bar style of food. After our next visit we were thrilled to remove them from the Sh*t List. Major improvements were observed in all categories.
I’m saddened to report that Appleby’s is once again back on the list. They seem to have become complacent once again and are backsliding into the proverbial dumpster. Since they’re a second time offender we won’t be returning for at least a year to check on them.
Being a public servant can be really inconvenient at times because we’re slowly running out of restaurants where we can eat.
WE ARE EQUAL OPPORTUNIT SH*T LISTERS
I always seem to be talking about Winter approaching these days and with good reason. Winter in Maine lasts at least six months but it certainly seems longer. Just two weeks ago I was sleeping under a ceiling fan for eight hours a night because it was so damn hot and humid in the house. At the time I thought that miserable hot weather would never let up. Let me tell you, it’s let up.
‘Ahhhh Memories’
As of last night I’m convinced Winter is much closer than I thought. The last few nights we’ve had temperatures in the low forties which are wreaking havoc on what remains of the garden. I was reminded early this morning when the cold air in the room jolted me awake. Last night was the first official #5 night for my electric blanket. Unless some sort of Indian Summer happens it could mean an early arrival of the season which includes an unwelcome amount of our favorite white stuff.
Fall is probably my second favorite season of the year after early Spring. I love the vivid colors of the foliage just like every other photographer on the planet. Maine is already known for it’s beautiful scenery along the coast and inland in the forests and around the many lakes. Throw in millions and millions of colorful leaves and it becomes for a short time an effing paradise.
My cameras and lenses are cleaned and ready. My snowblower’ been taken out of mothballs, gassed up, and ready to go. All that’s left for me to do is the unpacking of my unfashionable and ugly winter clothing. It’s almost impossible to look good wearing three layers of clothing, a hat, gloves, a scarf, and big clunky boots. . . and unfortunately I’m just talking about the women. The men look even worse as they let their beards grow out and suit up with their favorite snowmobiling outfit. There’s nothing better than hanging around an ice fishing hut with a few of your buddies telling tall tales about fishing, hunting, and sexual prowess and guzzling as much beer as you can drink.
The never-ending number of hunting seasons always irritates me a little. There are times when entering the woods around here to take pictures can be a life threatening situation. If you not wearing bright red or fluorescent green you could easily be mistaken for a moose, a turkey, or even a cow. It’s a little like Vietnam out there if you throw in a few cases of beer to make things interesting. Scary doesn’t even begin to cover it.
As you can see from my remarks, I’m neither a hunter nor a fisherman. I’ve never been all that crazy about killing helpless animals with high powered weaponry and high tech fishing paraphernalia. I prefer to do all of my shooting with a camera. I also hate the thought of eating wild game thanks to my father who insisted I try to eat a little of everything he ever shot. Yuck!
Time to Crank up the electric blanket and hunker down for another six months of snow, sleet, and ice. I only hope I don’t slip and fall this year and break any additional bones. Trust me, it’s happened before.
How often do you open your eyes in the morning and spring out of bed to face the day? If you do, congratulations, but if you don’t then you’re like me. I lay there for at least ten minutes with my eyes tightly closed and not moving a muscle. If I made any movement my big hairy alarm clock (the cat) will pounce on me in a flash. He wants fed and watered and won’t take no for an answer.
If things are really quiet I know my better-half has already left for work making it possible for me to ease into my day. I make my way to the WC, take care of that business and then to the kitchen to feed the effing cat and get COFFEE!!!!. Without the promise of coffee I’d never leave the bedroom.
I made a trip to Lowes yesterday and purchased some lumber for today’s project. I decided to get a jump on 2016 by making a few alterations to the garden before the snows arrive. I’m hardy ever this motivated but I convinced myself to get off my butt and do something useful.
The better-half and I discussed making garden changes last week and I think I even surprised her a little yesterday. I decided to add two side frames to the garden that will be used to grow nothing but sunflowers. The total square footage will increase by only 32 square feet but that’s more than enough room for a lot of sunflowers. The better-half loves them almost as much as the birds that eat them do.
The first chore was to dig up the existing grass for removal to other areas of the yard to re-sod a few bare spots.
The soil in this area contains a lot of clay and it makes growing things difficult. That’s the reason for the frames. They are are to be filled with a lot of good topsoil and fertilizer to help those sunflowers along.
It’s takes a lot of work and time to carefully move the sod. We have one section of the yard that’s refused all of our efforts to grow grass. I’m hoping this effort today will finally solve that problem once and for all. After all of that work I’m left with two area like this:
Come April and May I’ll be so glad I finished this project today. Thank God for dark roast coffee.
Today’s posting is just a little of this and a little of that, nothing earth shattering by any means. With Fall and the holidays in my immediate future I’m just taking a few deep breaths and resting up for the on-slot to come. I’ll need all of my energy to deal with Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and everything that entails.
Topic one is the ongoing Dish Network table project. I was able to complete the first two coats of red paint, the staining of the base, and the creation of the coax cable pieces needed to make it a little more interesting. It’s coming together fairly well with only a few minor problems that were easily dealt with.
The hard part is coming. I finally have the finished version of the mosaic for the table top laid out but getting it installed perfectly will be a challenge.
Topic Two is the garden cleanup. Yesterday I removed many of the plants that have been producing for most of the Summer. The cucumbers, zucchini’s, beans, and kohlrabi’s made their way to the compost pile. I left the tomatoes and peppers alone for now. In another two weeks they too will be gone. All in all 2015 was a very productive year for us.
Topic three; After working in the garden for a while my better-half and I made a quick trip to Federal Jacks restaurant and micro-brewery in Kennebunkport. I was in dire need of seafood and a large cold glass of Goat Island Light beer. Here’s the view from the second floor dining room overlooking the harbor.
And last but not least here’s a cold glass of Goat Island Light. As I’ve stated many times before, I’m not a beer drinker. After all these years I finally found a decent beer I can occasionally drink and enjoy. I never thought it could happen but I’m glad it did.
With the season change looming and with a few days of rain expected, it’s time to get back to work on some of my side projects. One in particular needs immediate attention because I’m running out of time to have it done by November 14th. It’s a weird but special gift for my better-half the beer connoisseur. On top of being a beer expert she’s also a collector of sorts. Over the last twenty-five years she’s religiously saved bottle caps from every type of beer she’s ever tasted. We ended up with a garbage bag filled with hundreds of beer memories (bottle caps) but had no idea what to do with them.
It’s funny how things fall together at times. Just as I was cutting our ties with the Dish Network by removing their equipment from the side of our house, I had a revelation. I took the dish and all of it’s component parts, reconstructed them into a sort of interesting but weird side table.
As I was working on the table I looked over to the corner of the workshop and saw the bag of bottle caps. It was then I decided to use the colorful and interesting bottle caps to create a mosaic top for my Dish Network Memorial Table. What better gift for a beer connoisseur than a one-of-a-kind table for her to sit her beer on.
I used a floor-leveler compound to flatten out the dish interior a little and then got to work on the mosaic top. The wide range of bottle cap colors surprised me a bit but made the job much easier.
Two coats of high gloss paint will make it pretty and mounting it on a wooded base will keep it sturdy enough for everyday use. Then it’s adhesive, bottle cap placement, and a decorative grout. I’ll post my future progress (if I have any) and hopefully this thing will be finished in time for the birthday celebration.
“I will never forget.” is the extent of my comments for today on all of the 9/11 anniversary coverage. I have no need to write paragraph after paragraph about that day or to show any of the many horrific photographs. “I can’t and won’t ever forget.”
For too many years of my life I’ve wasted time fretting about politics and inept politicians. I’ve allowed myself to become upset and irate about how this country has slowly eroded many of our civil and human rights without a second thought. With the new presidential campaign beginning it’s time for me to bury my head in the sand and go into seclusion from it all.
I see nothing that interests me. It’s more of the same idiocy, the Clinton’s, the Obama’s, and the Bush’s. All we need is for someone to throw in a couple of Kennedy’s and we’ll finally have completed our time travel back to the 1960’s.
I’m one of the many citizens who’ve lost faith in our politicians as well as the American voting public. Any group of people, large or small, who are gullible enough to vote for an obvious anti-American to a second term as president deserve exactly what they get. This country has been in decline since the arrival of the Obama’s who’ve done nothing to stop it, if anything, they’ve accelerated it. Now the Democrats want Joe Biden to step in and attempt a third Obama term. The way things are going in this country he’ll probably get elected and the media will convince everyone it’s a huge mandate. Then he can become the scapegoat that can then be blamed for the downfall of the United States as a superpower. Turn out the lights people the effing party’s almost over.
I’ve finally eliminated from my life the constant barrage of political propaganda, both Republican and Democrat, that’s being spewed from millions of televisions across the country every day. I’ve also stopped listening to the radio which has become just as bad as television, if not worse. I’m done with it all.
My late father always told me that my vote meant something. I’m glad he didn’t live long enough to see what happening to this country . . . it would have killed him. The individual vote means nothing any longer because the political parties have successfully separated the citizens into small and diverse groups based on any number of differences. They play the blacks against the whites, the whites against the blacks, the heterosexuals against the gays, the blacks and whites against the Hispanics, and even the religious against the non-religious. We now have Red states against Blue states which helps keep everyone arguing and fighting on stupid social issues that mask all of the games that the political elite love to play. It’s become almost impossible with all of the factional infighting to elect a president with a majority of the popular vote.
So I hope you’re all prepared for the browbeating and propagandizing that’s coming your way for the next year. Let me know how it’s going from time-to-time if you can because I’m tired of trying to do the right thing and having it thrown back in my face. I’m tuning out just like the powers-that-be want me to do. They’ve won the battles and they’ve won the war. By disenfranchising us citizens they can continue to rule as they please without interference from the “great unwashed”.
HAPPY DAYS
A short time ago I posted ten questions created to assist a person in examining their own motivations and ethics when confronted with difficult problems. I was surprised by some of the responses and even more so by the numerous requests for additional questions. Never let it be said I don’t respond to my readers.
Here are ten more puzzlers to get you thinking along with my own answers.
1. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five years to become extremely attractive?
a. No, I’d prefer to have the women I know become more attractive. Then I’d give up the five years without hesitation.
2. Have you ever considered suicide? If yes, what is so important to you that without it life would not be worth living?
a. Yes, my eyesight.
3. If your friends and acquaintances were willing to bluntly and honestly tell you what they really thought of you, would you want them to?
a. Sure why not. For the most part I know my faults but maybe I’d find out about one I wasn’t aware of. Either way I don’t really care.
4. Do you believe in capital punishment? Would you be willing to execute a man sentenced to death by the courts if you were selected by lot to do so and he would go free if you refused? Assume you know no details of the trial.
a. I do believe in capital punishment and I would execute a criminal who had been properly convicted through the courts. The alternative of freeing him is not an option.
5 If you went to a beach and it turned out to be a nude beach, would you stay and go swimming? Would you swim nude?
a. Yes and Yes.
6. Do you find it so hard to say “no” that you regularly do favors you do not want to do? If so, why?
a. No I find it pretty easy to say no.
7. Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
a. No.
8. If by getting a 2 inch by 2 inch tattoo, you could save five lives and prevent a terrorist attack, would you do so? If you were allowed to select the location and design, where would you have it placed and what would the design be?
a. Yes I‘d get the tattoo. A red crescent on my butt.
9. On an airplane you are talking pleasantly to a stranger of average appearance. Unexpectedly, the person offers you $10,000.00 for one night of sex. Knowing that there is no danger and that payment is certain, would you accept the offer?
a. Of course . . . If the person were really attractive I might do it for $5,000.00. LOL
10. Would you be willing to commit perjury for a friend? For example, might you testify that he was driving carefully when he hit a pedestrian even though he had been joking around and not paying attention.
a. No, he’s on his own.
Well there you have it. Ten more questions to make you wonder about yourself and your significant other (assuming they are answering them with you). Enjoy.
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