Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Okay everyone, say goodbye to March. It certainly won’t be missed with it’s sucky weather patterns and frigid cold which seems to last forever. My really big and repeating bitch is the local snowplow driver who once again sent my mailbox flying into the neighbors yard in pieces. That’s happened twice this winter and once while I was standing nearby. The mailbox will need to be replaced again which is nothing new, we replaced it four times in the last seven years. Enough of my whining lets get to some hopefully interesting but odd facts.
- When you receive a kidney transplant, the doctors usually leave the original kidney inside of you.
- There are 80,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ways to arrange a deck of cards.
- Studies suggest that placebos work even when the subject knows they are taking a placebo.
- The darkest substance known is called “vantablack” and it absorbs 99.965% of all visible light.
- A dying someone once actually left a cat an inheritance of 12.5 million dollars.
- If you ate natural wasabi, you wouldn’t find it spicy. For spiciness it must be crushed.
- Nuclear fallout was once measured in “sunshine units”.
- Some blind humans are capable of echolocation.
- In the 1800’s, a man proclaimed himself emperor of the United States and issued his own currency.
- The Declaration of Independence was written on animal skin.
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FUNNY AND UNCONFIRMED
Reports suggest that during the cold war, the CIA planned to demoralize the soviet people by air dropping thousands of magnum-sized American condoms labeled “Small”. (I certainly hope this isn’t true but you never know with the CIA involved.)
I’m what some people would call a member of the “TV Generation”. I’ve never taken that description as a negative because it’s the truth. I’ve lived through seven decades of TV and I’m sure it only damaged me a little. I’ve enjoyed huge hit shows and series in almost very decade except for my years overseas with the Army. Truthfully I enjoy it just as much now as I did then. There have been huge changes over the years but if you see TV as simply entertainment then you won’t be too disappointed. Todays post is a short quiz about TV in the 90’s. Answers will be listed below.
- A Festivas celebration includes the airing of what?
- The famous catchy theme song for Friends, “I’ll Be There For You” was played by what duo?
- Who hosted the first Academy Awards show in 1990?
- Who did Mila Kunis play on That 70’s Show?
- In what year did the final episode of Cheers air?
- What type of animal is Ren from The Ren & Stimpy Show?
- From what show was the Chicago-set Family Matters a spin-off?
- What are the twins name on Rugrats?
- What was the most popular salad dressing in the USA in 1992?
- What was Ross’s reason for believing he didn’t cheat on Rachel?
📺BONUS QUESTION📺
What was the Seinfeld’s creator Larry David’s motto for the show, ensuring there would be no sentimentality or character growth?
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Answers
Grievances’, The Rembrandts, Billy Crystal, Jackie Burkhart, 1993, Perfect Strangers, Phil & Lil, A Chihuahua, Ranch Dressing, “They were on a break.”, BONUS- No hugging & no learning.
I collect odd and unusual books and it’s not often I get truly surprised but it finally happened. I stumbled upon a book titled Bizarre Books – A Compendium of Classical Oddities. It lists in great detail some of the weirdest book titles, subtitles, and authors names I’ve ever seen. Over the next few months I’ll pick out a topic and list some of the titles mentioned in this book that apply. To start I’ve chosen a topic that will spice things up a little, Sex & Marriage. As you will see the human obsession with sex is nothing new. Here we go . . .
- Seven Wives and Seven Prisons – The life of a Matrimonial Monomaniac – L.A. Abbott 1870
- Shipping Semen? How to have a Successful Experience – Pennie Ahmed 1998
- Sex + Sex = Gruppensex – Ruediger Bosschmann 1970
- Orgasmus and Super-Orgasmus – Stephenson Verlag 1972
- Castration: The Advantages and Disadvantages – Victor T. Cheney 2003
- How to Pickup Women in Discos – Don Diebel 1981
- Straight Talk About Surgical Penis Enlargement – Gary M. Griffin 1991
- The External Genitalia of Japanese Females – Kanji Kasai 1995
- In and Out and Up and Down – Jo L.G. McMahon 1922
- High-Performance Stiffened Structures – Bury St. Edmunds 2000
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MY FAV
A Kiss for a Blow – Henry Clark Wright – Undated
SPECIAL THANKS TO RUSSELL ASH & BRIAN LAKE
It’s no secret that I’m what most people would classify as an old man. While it’s true who better to challenge your trivia credentials than me. My early childhood, ages 4-7, consisted of me, my father, and mother sitting in our small little living room in the evening listening to the radio. At that time TV was fairly new and not readily available to most people and the radio was all we had. It introduced me to many shows like The Lone Ranger, Fibber McGee & Molly, Jack Benny, Red Skelton, and my all time favorite The Shadow. My father purchased our first TV in 1955 when I was about 8 years old. It was black/white and about the size of a small modern day microwave and it changed everyone’s life forever. I know most of you won’t understand just how much fun it was on those evenings with just my parents, me, and that stupid old radio. I still miss those quiet evening eating popcorn, drinking Kool-Aid and sitting on the floor next to the radio.
Enough of my reminiscing, let’s get back to today. This post will contain a few questions about the good old days of radio. I really don’t think many of you will score highly but it’s just good fun to introduce some of you to how our wonderful world of Media got it’s start. As always the answers will be listed below. Have fun with it.
- What character introduced the stories on Death Valley Days?
- Who played The Great Gildersleeve?
- Name two actors who made the Life With Luigi transition from radio to TV?
- Who created The Lone Ranger?
- Where did Ones Man’s Family live?
- What character did Gale Gorden play on Our Miss Brooks?
- Who played the title roles of Fibber McGee & Molly?
- What were Molly Goldberg’s two kids’ names?
- What did Ozzie Nelson do for a living on his show?
- One of the earliest quiz shows on radio became TV’s first. Can you recall the name?
BONUS QUESTION
Who was the wealthy man-about-town with the hypnotic ability to “cloud men’s minds” to fight crime, famously introduced by the phrase, “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!”
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Answers
The Old Ranger, Willard Waterman, J. Carol Naish & Alan Reed, Fran Striker & George W. Trendle, San Francisco, Osgood Conklin, Bob Sweeney & Cathy Lewis, Rosalie & Sammy, For the most part, nothing, Uncle Jim’s Question Bee, BONUS – Lamont Cranston.
It seems to be a good day for another dose of Mish/Mosh. This post will include odd facts, proverbs, and quotes from well-known people.
“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.” Benjamin Franklin
- The first animal to be domesticated by humans was not a dog, sheep, horse, or pig. Approximately 12,0000 BC, 14,000 years ago along the Russian/Mongolian border reindeer were lured away from migratory groups and bred domestically.
“The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.” Alfred Adler
- If you are dehydrated virtually any fluid will help hydrate you, but not sea water. Alcohol is fine and so are tea and coffee. There is no scientific basis that fluids other than water cause dehydration.
“The missing link between animals and human beings is most likely ourselves.” Konrad Lorenz
- The original discovery of penicillin was from the far past where Bedouin tribesmen in North Africa made a healing ointment from the mold on donkey harnesses for more than a thousand years.
“The greatest of all inventors is accident.” Mark Twain
- The ball point pen was invented and patented in 1938 by Laszlo Biro and his brother Gyorgy. They immigrated to Argentina in 1940 to avoid the Nazis and repatented it there in 1943. One of their earliest customer was the RAF encouraged by the pens performance at high altitudes.
“A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.” Samuel Butler
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THE WEIRDER THE BETTER
Now that my never-ending retro trivia posts have been completed, it’s time to return to my first love those funny and bawdy LIMERICKS. As I’ve always said, I love limericks and I also love history. I’ve decided today to combine the two with a few limericks made famous during the World War II era. I assume some of these may have been written by a few GI’s but I can’t be sure. I find it refreshing that even during the worst war we’ve ever experienced, a sense of humor was still maintained. Some of these might be considered a little much for younger children. Be warned!
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O Soldiers come back to us clean!
Wear rubbers – you know what I mean.
Thou I’d very much ruther
You’d bugger each other
Than any French whore that I’ve seen.
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A lady of doubtful nativity,
Had an ass of extreme sensitivity.
She could sit on the lap
Of a Nazi or Jap
And detect Fifth Column activity.
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A slant-eyed young girl from Peking
Said of the Rape of Nanking,
“Every Jap in North China
Has explored my vagina,
It’s so sore I can’t pee through the thing.”
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In the Army and Navy the toast is
To the talented USO hostess
Who was diddled and screwed
While she tried to conclude
Which service she really liked mostest.
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🪖WAR TIME SENSE OF HUMOR🪖
Here’s the fifth and last installment of the retro trivia series. I hope you’ve had as much fun with them as I had putting them together. The answers will be listed below. See how you do.
- What craze included terms like “handglide” and backslide”?
- Whose visit to South Korea in May, 1984, promoted the tightest security in that nations history?
- What brand of sweetener did G.D. Searle & Company put on the market in 1983?
- The U.S. mining of what nation’s harbors caused a congressional uproar in April, 1984?
- What was the name of Jesse Jackson’s hoped for coalition?
- What was the bug that caused havoc in California?
- Who was shot and killed at the airport in Manila in 1983?
- What group in 1981 was compensated $5,000.00 per person for their unusual stint overseas?
- Seven people died after popping these cyanide-spiked pills?
- In what nation did a Soviet submarine find itself beached in 1981?
BONUS QUESTION
What celebrated figures were married in St. Paul’s Cathedral?
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Answers
Breakdancing, Pope John Paul II, NutraSweet, Nicaragua, The Rainbow Coalition, Mediterranean Fruit Fly, Benigno Aguino, The Iranian Hostages, Extra Strength Tylenol, Sweden, BONUS-Prince Charles & Lady Diana Spencer,
TA! DA!
Here is the fourth installment of retro trivia from the decade of the 1970’s. These questions should be a little easier than the last three decades. As always the answers are listed below.
- Who was court-martialed in 1971 for atrocities committed in Southeast Asia?
- What became the capital of the reunited North and South Vietnam?
- What was the name of the Russian spacecraft that linked with an Apollo module in 1975?
- In 1974 what building became the tallest in the world?
- What woman won the Nobel Prize in 1979?
- What nation tried “The Gang of Four”?
- Name the senator that presided over the Watergate hearings?
- Where was the Queen Elizabeth when it caught fire and sank in 1972?
- Who was the first native American to be canonized by the Catholic church?
- Name the war hero who quit the Israeli cabinet in 1979?
BONUS QUESTION
What caused Iceland and England to sever diplomatic relations in 1976?
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Answers
Lt. William Calley, Hanoi, Soyuz, The Sears Tower, Mother Teresa, China, Sam Ervin, Hong Kong, Mother Seton, Moshe Dayan, BONUS-Cod Fishing Rights
COMING NEXT-1980’S
Most human beings are somewhat intelligent. Of course that doesn’t always guarantee that they’re very smart. Many times in my life I’ve been challenged about something I’ve said or written even when I have irrefutable proof to prove my statements. There are always people who adamantly demand that they are correct regardless of any proof provided. Some folks simply enjoy arguing about everything and others are just simply ignorant. Human nature being what it is, I don’t see any changes in this regard. Todays post will contain a number of items which may seem incorrect to some of you, but they are not. Wrap your heads around these tidbits of truthfulness . The correct answers will be listed below.
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- What was the first invention to break the sound barrier?
- What animal are the Canary Islands named after?
- What do camels store in their humps?
- How many toes does a two-toed sloth have?
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- What African mammal kills more humans than any other?
- Where do most tigers live?
- Where was the sport of baseball invented?
- How did Nome, Alaska get it’s name?
- What do we use to write on a black-board?
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BONUS QUESTION
What was the first animal in space?
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Answers
The Whip, Dogs (Insula Canaria), Fat, Nothing, 6 or 8, The Hippopotamus, The USA in Zoos, England, A Spelling Mistake, Gypsum, BONUS-Fruit Flies
HOW DID YOU DO?
I’m a life long Pittsburgh Steeler fan thanks to my father and grandfathers. It was black and gold all the time beginning at the age of 4. That’s when I finally realized what football was and how important it was for family unity. No matter what, you stayed loyal to the team. I learned a large and varied collection of interesting cuss words over the years as we sat and listened to the games, especially during those seasons that the team wasn’t particularly successful. I relished the 1970’s and the four Superbowl wins and managed to maintain my sanity though a couple of decades of so-so football.
Todays post is my offering to the real Steeler fans out there who just can’t get enough information on the teams colorful history. Here are ten trivia questions to test your “fandomness” (I made up that word so no smart-ass comments about my spelling). As always, the answers will be listed below. Enjoy . . .
- What future NFL coach was the offensive coordinator with the Steelers from 2007-2011?
- Whose 89-yard touchdown pass to Dwight Stone in1991 was the longest pass thrown at Three Rivers stadium?
- In 2001 , which Pittsburgh linebacker was named NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year?
- In 2011, Ben Roethlisberger threw the longest touchdown pass in franchise history. Who caught the 95-yarder?
- Which receiver made 217 appearances for the Steelers between 1998 and 2011?
- The Steelers set a franchise after starting the 2020 season with how many consecutive wins?
- Which Steeler legend is the author of a 2021 book called “Heart and Steel”?
- Which tight end, which was drafted by the Steelers in 2015, shares his name with a famous wild west outlaw?
- Since the AFL/NFL merger, only two Steelers quarterbacks have thrown for more than 400 yards in a game. Big Ben is one, who is the other?
- Eight of Troy Polamalu’s 35 interceptions were against what team?
BONUS QUESTION
Which running back rushed for 161 yards from 22 carries and caught a
48-yard pass in his first career start for the Steelers against the Titans in 2005?
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Answers
Bruce Arians, Neil O’Donnell, Kendrell Bell, Mike Wallace, Hines Ward, 11 Wins, Bill Cower, Jesse James, Tommy Maddox, Cleveland Browns, BONUS – Willie Parker
SPECIAL THANKS TO CHRIS BRADSHAW
everyuselessthing.com 