Archive for the ‘Journal’ Category
Ten shopping days left till the big day arrives. Time always loves playing tricks on us and even more so at this time of the year. If we’re doing something we really enjoy the time flies by quickly but if it’s something we dislike it seems to drag on forever. That for me is Christmas in a nut shell. The more tasks that we’re required to complete to celebrate the holiday causes time to speed up in a big way when we don’t think we can finish them all. Then time slows to a dead crawl as we wait for the final day to arrive after the tasks have been completed.
This week for me is all of that and then some. Within a few days the first of the visitors will begin arriving and that’s exciting right up until the time they actually get here. They’re excited as well but that feeling wanes in just a day or so. Then they start missing their regular life and routines and each day that passes makes those feelings grow. That’s when time begins to play it’s tricks. None of us want the gathering to end so it feels like time is flying but all of us wish it would end to some degree making time drag on a little. It’s a real conundrum.
‘It can’t be Christmas without a skinny Elvis picture.’
Believe me I’m not complaining, it’s just one of those weird facts of life we must deal with and appreciate at the same time. I’m wishing right now that time would speed up so the festivities can begin. As a family grows and it’s members pursue their individual lives these holidays become more special. In most cases all of the participants make some sort of sacrifice to gather like this. We all need to acknowledge that fact and truly try to appreciate each other’s efforts.
I’m lying here in bed, it’s 5 am, and I’m already excited to get today started but this effing waiting is brutal. My tasks are completed but the better-half is racing around the house in a swirl of wrapping paper, ribbons, and rolls of tape. It’s actually fun to watch her but I’d better not be enjoying myself too much or there’ll be hell to pay.
MERRY CHRISTMAS – 10 MORE DAYS
I’ve talked a great deal over the years about my experiences while serving in the Army. As with any young man or woman serving outside of this country, being away from home and family during the Christmas season for the first time is difficult. In my case I was not only away from family, I was in a non-Christian county that seemed to be more than a little primitive to me.
Their religion was primarily Buddhist and the Christmas holiday meant very little to them. They at times pretended to understand but that was motivated entirely by their desire to make money from visiting Americans.
At the time I was stationed in an area that was primarily populated by rice farmers living in small villages that dotted the northern countryside. There were no paved roads and most villages only had electric power for a few hours a day. For those of us from the United States it was like traveling back in time a hundred years.
I was living almost full time in a local village and actually had my laundry taken to a local river where it was beaten on the rocks with wooded paddles and soap. That certainly took some getting used to for me. My Korean friends seemed totally befuddled by the entire Christmas holiday bro-ha-ha and sat silently as I tried to explain it to them. They were interested in my stories of Christ and the Magi, but the virgin birth story had them all silently giggling a little.
Regardless I was determined to have a Christmas celebration so I asked a few of my them for their help in putting up a Christmas tree. They agreed to help but weren’t exactly sure what I was up to. As that project was progressing I had a little old mama-san ask me through an interpreter why would any sane person put a tree inside their home. I was hard pressed to answer her because I didn’t know the reason either. They continued to humor me as I explained other peculiarities that they couldn’t quite grasp.
A week or so later with two Korean friends I hiked up a nearby mountain near a small Buddhist temple to find a tree. We ended up dragging back the sorriest looking bush you could ever imagine, set it up in my hooch, and started to decorate it as best we could. There was a hand-made star on top of the tree (my doing) and a number of pieces of charcoal tied to the branches with twine (their doing). I never had that fully explained to me but it was what they wanted to do. It had something to do with good luck or good pregnancy or something. Since we had no electricity they suggested placing candles in and around the tree but I nixed that immediately. The last thing we needed was to burn down my hooch and a portion of the village when a little, dry, and nasty looking tree, bust into flames.
I had some GI decorations I made from C-rations that looked stupid as hell but they loved it. Later we ate most of the decorations and drank a bottle of really cheap brandy that I’d brought along for the occasion. I presented them each with a small gift of candy and got a little kiss on the cheek from everyone.
I was still a little homesick but that weird little celebration came to mean a lot to me over the years. It was cozy, friendly, and more than a little strange but it was also genuine. They forever became part of my extended family because they’d made an effort to help get me through a very difficult time. Christmas, the holiday, had very little meaning to them but they realized how important it was to me.
I still wonder to this day if any of them have fond memories of that night and think about it occasionally. I also hope that all of my comrades-in-arms who are away from home this Christmas are lucky enough to find some friends like I did.
Please keep them all in your thoughts and prayers.
14 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT TIL THIS ONE
‘Christmas Eve in Maine.’
How is your holiday season progressing? Are your preparations ahead of schedule or behind? Is your Christmas tree real or artificial? Are your kids driving you crazy yet? Has your alcohol consumption increased progressively with the holiday pressures? All really good questions but as we all know they’re rhetorical.
The drumbeat of Christmas is getting louder each day. I go to sleep thinking about what I’ve accomplished that day and wake up thinking about all of the stuff that I still need to accomplish today. I am so full of Christmas cheer I could scream out loud. After rereading this paragraph I think I discovered something else I must be full of. You get my drift, right? I’M LOSING IT MAN!
Here is my kitchen table as I found it this morning:
Trust me when I tell you the entire living room and family room look exactly like it as well. I’m knee deep in Christmas and there’s still 18 shopping days left. It could take us until sometime in February to repack all this stuff and I can’t wait. At least the damn cat seems to be enjoying himself:
I haven’t had my breakfast yet but since I can’t eat in the kitchen I may retire to the deck and eat there. That’s right, the sun is shining and it’s still warm enough to sit outside and have breakfast. It’s madness I tell you.
Even Mother Nature appears confused by the weather. I took a stroll around the property yesterday for no other reason than to get a little sun on my pasty white body. I found this lonely little flower in the side yard. One stupid dandelion that’s decided it’s really not December but April. I can officially say this is the latest I’ve ever seen any flower growing and blooming.
‘The all-time dumbest flower on the planet.’
I’d like to continue on with this post but I’m getting the evil eye from my better-half. It’s time to get back to my Santa duties. Everything has to be just perfect for the grandsons when they arrive (in two and a half effing weeks). Sorry about the language but all these red and green colors are finally getting to me or maybe it’s just my requested Christmas aneurism finally showing up.
I hope someone tells Santa just what a good boy I’ve been this year. He owes me big time.
Twenty shopping days until Christmas and still no snow. This weather is starting to freak me out a little. I was out on the deck this week putting away the furniture and had to return to the house to remove some clothing. It was too hot. Can you believe that? Anyway here are some photo’s and Christmas factoids for your entertainment.
*** Germany made the first artificial Christmas trees. They were made of goose feathers and dyed green. ***
Yesterday my better-half took me along as an escort while she Christmas shopped. This was how yesterday appeared to me:
*** If you received all of the gifts in the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas," you would receive 364 gifts.***
Rain doesn’t help my already waning amounts of Christmas spirit. What a mess. I find myself wishing for a good snow storm that would drop four or five inches of the white stuff on us.
*** In Mexico, wearing red underwear on New Year’s Eve is said to bring new love in the upcoming year. ***
Last evening we began decorating the interior of the house. A little wine, a little beer, and lots of patience. We made a great deal of progress but it wasn’t easy. Here are a few shots of the debris ridden living room in these “before” photo’s.
*** The poinsettia plant was brought into the United States from Mexico by Joel Poinsett in the early 1800’s. ***
*** Rudolph" was actually created by Montgomery Ward in the late 1930’s for a holiday promotion. The rest is history. ***
We put the finishing touches to the tree and of course the damn cat insisted on hiding underneath and did his best to knock it over. That’s one Christmas tradition we’ve tried for years to change but he just won’t listen.
*** Clearing up a common misconception, in Greek, X means Christ. That is where the word "X-Mas" comes from. Not because someone took the "Christ" out of Christmas. ***
Our holiday preparations will continue for another week or so or until we run out of holiday stuff to hang on other holiday stuff (truthfully that will never happen).
*** Eggnog first became popular in England where it was considered a drink for the upper class. ***
20 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
I realized this morning that my Christmas spirit is a little different this year. In years past I’ve been identified by many people who care about me as being a bit of a Grinch. In other years they’ve considered me jolly and fun to have around in the holidays. Which is it this year?
I feel like I have a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing going on when it comes to Christmas. Most of the time my feelings for the holidays can go either way depending on who annoys me and who doesn’t. I have such mixed feelings about the whole Christmas deal it’s difficult at times for me to celebrate much of anything.
While I myself am not all that religious, most of my best Christmas memories come from a childhood where religion was a huge part of the celebration. I’ve pretty much given up on it ever being a religious holiday again because over the years it’s morphed into much more of a secular celebration where buying and receiving gifts is everything.
I’ve been forced to reevaluate my entire Christmas experience this year with a new attitude. I’ve decided to be the best damn consumer I can be and spend money a little more freely than usual. Without the cloud of religion things become instantly clearer. Be nice to everyone, spend a lot of money, and make it about the kids and not much else. At least the emotions I’ll see on their little faces will be genuine and that’s as good as it gets anytime. Finding anything genuine at Christmas these days is almost as rare as finding a few honest men.
So bring on the kids and hopefully some of their legitimate Christmas spirit will rub off on all of the cynical types like me. That’s my Christmas wish for this year.
AND A POLITICALLY INCORRECT “MERRY CHRISTMAS” TO ALL
It’s Cyber Monday and I just finished renewing and deleting the fifty spam emails I received overnight. I’ve experienced aggressive retailing before but nothing like this year. I’d like to thank Sam’s Club, Best Buy, Walmart, and many others for totally attempting to take over my email accounts. In appreciation I thought I’d let you know that as of tomorrow I’ll be unsubscribing from all of you because this is verging on harassment and I need to put a stop to it. Merry effing Christmas folks.
Rather than spending time with my better-half at the mall, we’ve decided to spend her day off today driving from town to town to visit many of the smaller mom-and-pop gift shops and hoping to find a few small gifts for a few remaining family members. I might even spring for a nice lunch somewhere in the York Beach area near Portsmouth.
The weather forecasts for later in the week call for rain and rain and then more rain. If we’re going to do this shopping it has to be today or we’ll be out of luck. I’d like to get a few photos along the coast if we can but who knows, we may not get any sunshine today at all.
The time seems to be flying by and Christmas will be arriving all too quickly. We intend to enjoy this warm Indian Winter weather while it lasts. I’m afraid when it ends it won’t be pretty. I have visions of snow drifts and really icy roads very very soon. I’d like to have a white Christmas but not too white.
The grand kids came to visit over the weekend and it’s always good to see them and their parents. We kicked back and relaxed with a somewhat friendly game of Super Scrabble.
For those of you who aren’t Scrabble fanatics it’s an enlarged standard Scrabble board with more tiles and Quadruple word and letter squares. It was great fun even though I got my ass thoroughly kicked by everyone. Fun but quite humbling for someone as competitive as I am. I guess there’s always the next time to return the favor.
More decorating tonight and I hope to put the finishing touches on the tree. That really brings the Christmas spirit alive for me like nothing else.
24 SHOPPING DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS
Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone and I’ve digested all that good food I’d like nothing better than to relax for a bit. Dream on fool, here comes Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Christmas, and New Years!
Meanwhile, here’s a quick look at our Thanksgiving table for this year. A luscious prime rib roast, asparagus, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and a chilled bottle of honey mead. I have to say it was the best Thanksgiving meal we’ve had in recent memory. Hope yours was the same or even better.
Black Friday has also come and gone and fortunately for me I missed it completely. I missed all the large crowds of pissed off shoppers, the pushing, the shoving, the fighting, and the shootings that makes these holiday seasons so near and dear to my heart. There’s nothing like a little physical combat with pregnant women, kids, or anyone else for that matter who gets in the way.
It feels extra special to shove some old lady to the ground and to grab an item from her hands that you wanted more than she did. A big thanks once again to Walmart for costing a few people their lives and many others minor injuries and arrests. The almighty dollar rules absolutely in the world of Walmart with very little concern for the consequences of their actions. Nothing new, right?
‘Deck the Halls’
‘Happy Holidays’
‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’
I’m not blaming all of these problems on Walmart because Target, Best Buy, and hundreds of others are just as guilty. My better-half and her daughter braved the crowds yesterday while I sat at home hoping they survived without injuries or incidents. They fortunately arrived home in one piece with more shopping war stories that I’ll be forced to listen to for another year. There are some traditions that need to go and Black Friday is one of them.
‘Absolute Lunacy’
This is the time of the year I thank God I’m claustrophobic. All the more reason to increase my on-line presence next year and never leave the freaking house.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND STAY OUT OF MY EFFING WAY
’A quote stolen from more than ten million shoppers.’
It’s Thanksgiving morning here in Maine. No snow, no sleet, no high winds, and fifty degree sunny weather. What’s wrong with this picture? I wait all year for this holiday when I can put on a heavy coat, take a walk in the cold fresh air, eat a great meal, and relax the day away. Warm weather? What the hell?
Yesterday was the big day for us. My better-half finally was finally bitten on the butt by the Christmas bug and all of the cherished peace and quiet in this house is over for the foreseeable future.
I was given my marching orders early which required me to make a visit to my least favorite place . . . the attic. A spooky, dirty, and buggy place filled with boxes of holiday crap stacked everywhere. Pick any holiday of the year and I can find a few boxes of decorations to dig through for that day. Christmas is the worst because the better-half seems to have saved every Christmas decoration going back to her birth. As you can see our family room looks like Santa’s sleigh had some maintenance issues and crashed and exploded right here.
Wrapping papers, boxes of lights, then more lights, then tinsel, then more tinsel, then tree ornaments, and then more tree ornaments. I’m hip deep in the stuff and there’s still more boxes left in the attic. God help me!
My main chore each year is to unpack the tree, find all the pieces (it’s not a real one), drag everything into the living room and put it all together. It’ll be much easier this year since we purchased a new tree at the end of last year’s holiday season. The previous artificial tree was seven feet tall and almost five feet wide and huge pain to assemble. It consisted of at least forty different limbs and parts and took quite a while to construct as well as shedding about a pound of plastic pine needles every time it was touched. This new one went up with a snap in five minutes and then it only needed a little TLC and tweaking to make it really nice.
Hopefully by the end of today the tree will be up and decorated, the furniture rearranged or moved into other rooms, and the Christmas tunes will be firmly imbedded in my skull for the next month. After Country & Western music I hate Christmas music the most. Unfortunately once those damn songs get stuck in my head I’ll be humming them until the middle of January.
‘Step One’
‘Step Two’
‘Done’
This is one of the good things that happened today. My better-half has a tradition of supplying freshly baked cinnamon buns soaked in sugar icing the morning of each holiday. I watched her prepare the buns, letting them cool, then pouring that glorious sugar sweetness all over them. I hijacked a couple, scurried off to another room and quickly wolfed them down. That’s my payment for today’s Christmas chores and like it or not I’ll probably eat a couple of more tomorrow. I can at least give thanks for them.
So it begins . . .
The electric blanket remains at level six this morning as I lounge here and try to decide what this day will bring. The better-half works only a half day today which I fear means more Christmas shopping in my immediate future. Fortunately I recharged my Kindle and my Surface last night and feel I’m ready for almost anything.
I suspect I’ll end up sitting in front of the computer for the afternoon as I’ve been doing for most of the last week. I’m preparing and editing some of the blog postings from the last year that will be included in a blog book I’m having made. I do this each year and have collected quite the library. It does take an investment of time but I love having the ability to go back to my library to insure I’m not repeating things over and over again and boring my readers.
Once that little project is completed I can return to the sorting and indexing of my archive of photographs. I currently have almost twenty thousand pics which need reviewing. I’m determined to eliminate everything that isn’t just perfect which will take a great deal of time. Since I have most of those pictures already backed up on my personal cloud, I’ll be able to recover a great deal of hard drive space on my desktop which is badly needed. I’ll also need to stock up on more extra strength Tylenol to help me with the headaches I anticipate are to come. It doesn’t take much screen time to put a severe strain on my eyes.
With Thanksgiving just two days away I’m in no rush to accomplish much. The better-half and I can relax for a few days after enjoying our laid back holiday celebration. She’s already mentally preparing herself for Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and all of the other shopping days that have been created to allow retailers to pelt us with junk mail, TV ads, and spam. I like spending time with her but any shopping done in and around Thanksgiving is not all that enjoyable for me. I get a little claustrophobic in large crowds and prefer to avoid them whenever possible.
I’m about to spring into action but every time I try to get up the bed and that damn electric blanket keep calling me back. The coffee is starting to kick-in which will eventually force me to my feet and to get ready for the day.
ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY
‘No Thanks’
Why turkey? The tradition started with the Pilgrims struggling to survive and supposedly the Indians brought them food, they had dinner together, and so it began . . . but why turkey? It could just as easily have been lobster or maybe even groundhog. I doubt seriously if I would have enjoyed a big, fat, roasted groundhog for Thanksgiving every November for the rest of my life but it could easily have happened. We could have easily combined Groundhog Day with Thanksgiving and had Punxatawney Phil as an entre.
‘This is Phil’s cousin Bill’
I guess we can blame or credit one lonesome Indian out foraging for food for our Thanksgiving tradition that ended up lasting for hundreds of years. What we haven’t been told is that he took the good food home to his family and stuck the Pilgrims with some scrawny turkey he had left over. That tradition has also created a number of cottage industries like raising turkeys by the millions for our eager consumption and all of the accompanying paraphernalia required to prepare them.
‘Bill Before’
Don’t get me wrong I like turkey well enough but as a kid it was a special meal we had only once a year. These days we eat turkey year-round and have it readily available at food stores and even some gas stations and convenience stores. Not so special anymore, at least not for me.
‘Bill After’
This Thanksgiving is a unique one for both my better-half and for me. Most of our family members are spread across the country and the ones remaining in Maine are visiting other family in northern Maine. After some discussion we determined that because it’s just the two of us this year, we can do whatever the hell we like. They’ll be no turkey this year and trust me, there won’t be any roasted groundhog or lobster either.
This years feast will consist of some traditional items such as cranberry sauce, stuffing, corn, and squash. The meat of the day has been upgraded a little as well. Picture a large standing prime rib roast dripping flavor from every pore and as tender and soft as eating marshmallows. That’s what I call a proper dinner to give thanks for. I eat turkey on an average of three times a week and won’t miss having it on the table at all.
I hope this year goes well because this is a tradition that is long overdue and that I fully support. I may miss some of the turkey leftovers but truthfully I’ll get over it. I can taste and smell that prime rib already and it’s making my mouth water. A good bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and the fixings’ and we’ll both be fat, dumb, and extremely happy.
SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN PHIL, YOU NEVER KNOW.
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