I realize that it may be a little too early to be posting on this subject but what the hell. Every year I tease myself by listing a number of resolutions for the new year. My success rate leaves much to be desired but occasionally I actually DO complete a few. I’m posting early because my rate of success this year has been dismal. I’d blame some of it on my better-half who just completed her first year of retirement. To say she’s been a huge distraction is an understatement – goodbye to my wonderful days of PEACE & QUIET. Here’s my list for 2025 and all my lame excuses.
Read at least 100 books by years end(more if possible). If I finish reading my current book by years-end I will have read only 88 books. FAILED
Complete at least four illustrations for use as gifts for next Christmas. COMPLETED
Complete one sculpture using a technique I haven’t used before.FAILED – Due to my total lack of interest and laziness. Maybe this coming year I can get it done.
Show more patience to my better-half’s retirement adjustments.COMPLETED – I’ve shown more patience than ever before but I have a long way to go to satisfy her.
Attempt to write some serious poetry that’s worth reading.FAILED – Completed a few poems and a couple of limericks but I wasn’t happy with the less than adequate results.
Continued monitoring of the grandsons for new and exciting cuss words.COMPLETED – This may have been the easiest one to complete. It’s official, and thanks to day care, school, and some family adults the “F-Bomb” has been released. I’m so proud!!
Continue to ignore all of the weird and bizarre health tips from the Internet.COMPLETED – Thanks to all you internet experts and your misguided and incorrect medical BS.
My final tally was disappointing – 4 of 7 completed. I still have a few weeks to give a great deal of thought for my resolutions for 2026. It’s good to set goals even if you’re reasonably certain they won’t all be met.
Here are a few random trivia facts to start off your weekend.
The Bryan Adams” famous song “Summer of 69” is named after the sex act, not the year.
The very first television commercial was for watches and aired in 1941.
Actor Jim Caviezel was struck by lightning while portraying Jesus in the movie Passion of the Christ.
The word “Fuck” was once said 935 times in a movie: Swearnet, The Movie.
Steven Spielberg submitted the movie, Schindler’s List as his final project for film school.
President John Adams had a dog named Satan.
It has been estimated that in1939, the first televised football was watched by approximately 1,000 viewers.
The objects humans have sent to space include pictures of human sex organs, sea urchin sperm, a pizza, the remains of the man who discovered Pluto, and Elon Musk’s Tesla car.
When a worker bee mates with the queen his penis explodes.
The capital of Nevada is actually west of Los Angeles.
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And here’s one that hits close to home.
Marijuana and the hops in beer come from the same plant family.
Once reported from the Danbury, Connecticut Mall:Santa Claus advised that a woman who sat on his lap had been more naughty than nice. She had openly groped him after waiting patiently in line. Police reported that “A security officer did notified them that Santa had been sexually assaulted.” The 33 year old suspect in question was charged with sexual assault and breach of the peace. She was released on her own recognizance and promised to appear in court in January.
(Sounds like “lump of coal” time to me.)
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Now, here’s a short list of the many and varied ways you can say Merry Christmas around the world. It may not interest some of you and that’s okay, enjoy them anyway.
Glaedelig Jul – Danish
Vrolijike Kerst – Dutch
Hyvvaa Joulua – Finnish
Kala Christouyenna – Greek
Gledileg Jol – Icelandic
Buon Natale – Italian
God Jul – Norwegian
Feliz Natal – Portuguese
God Jul – Swedish
Iyi Noeller – Turkish
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There’s always room for more Christmas trivia. It’s a good thing to learn and understand just how this holiday has developed and been interpreted around the world for so many different cultures.
Christmas Eve in Japan is a good day to eat fried chicken and strawberry shortcake.
Michigan has no official state song, but one, ‘Michigan, My Michigan,’ is frequently used. The words were written in 1863, and the melody used is that of the Christmas song “O Tannenbaum”.
Electric Christmas lights were first used in 1854.
America’s official national Christmas tree is located in King’s Canyon National Park in California. The tree, a giant sequoia called the “General Grant Tree”, is over 90 meters (300 feet) high, and was made the official Christmas tree in 1925.
The first department store to feature a visit with Santa was the J. W. Parkinson’s store in Philadelphia in 1841. Astonishingly, no other department stores copied this event until 1890 when a store in Boston repeated it. Before long lines of children formed at stores across America to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him their Christmas wish list. The department store Santa has been immortalized in films such as Miracle on 34th Street and Christmas Story.
“Jingle Bells” was originally written for a Thanksgiving celebration, in 1857.
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WHO DOESN’T LUV THE X-MAS CAT?
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Well, there you have it. Another short collection of useless Christmas trivia to help you get holly and jolly before the big day gets here.
The English language is brutal. I don’t envy anyone coming to this country without any English speaking skills because I’ve lived here my whole life and I still don’t have a handle on everything. Virtually everything that we talk about or speak about originally came from our distant past going back thousands of years. I thought I was up-to-speed as far as the language goes but once again I was sadly mistaken. Today’s post will introduce you to some words that you’re familiar with and others not so much. When I can I will identify the original word. As always, answers are at the end and no peeking please.
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What is the meaning of the Greek word “kosmetikos”, from which we get the word cosmetics?
A milligram is a thousandth of a gram. What’s a “picogram”?
What do “noologists” study?
What kind of voice does someone have if he or she is “oxyphonic”?
What does the word “climax” mean in Greek?
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How did the “duffel” bag in its name?
What’s the difference between a nook and a cranny?
What word originated as the nickname for a English insane asylum?
What flowers name means nose-twitching in Latin – a name bestowed upon it because of its pungent aroma?
A bibliophile is a collector of rare books. What is a “bibliopole”?
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What was the original meaning of the word “clue”?
What is the origin of the expression “on the Q. T.”?
What is the literal translation of the pasta “vermicelli”?
What were the very first item is referred to as gadgets?
What is a “funambulist”?
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Answers
Skilled in decorating, 1 trillionth of a gram, The mind, Unusually shrill, “Ladder”. In Greece is spelled klimax, From the Belgian town of Duffel, A nook is a corner; a cranny is a crack, Bedlam, The nasturtium, A seller of rare books, A ball of thread or yarn – which makes the concept of unraveling a clue all the more meaningful, The word quiet – from its first and last letters, Little worms, Miniatures of the Statue of Liberty sold in Europe in 1886, A tightrope walker.
Today I’m going to make this post quick and simple. Here are five moderately bawdy limericks from our recent past. They’re rated PG-13 due to some of the sexual content but I edited some of the harsher foul language so as not to have it too disgusting. Enjoy.
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There was a young man from Perdue, Who was only just learning to screw. But he hadn’t the knack, And got too far back- In the right church, but in the wrong pew!
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There was an old fellow named Hewing Whose poor heart stopped while he was screwing. He gasped: “Really, Miss, Don’t feel bad about this- There is nothing I’d rather die doing!”
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There was a young fellow named Menzies Who’s kissing sent girls into frenzies. But a virgin, one night, Crossed her legs in a fright, And fractured his bifocal lenzies.
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A pretty young lady named Flo Said:” I hate to be had in the snow. While I’m normally hot, In this spot I am not- So, as soon as you come Joe, let’s go!”
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There was an old fellow named Bill, Who swallowed an atomic pill. His naval corroded, His asshole exploded, And they found both his nuts in Brazil.
I thought this morning I’d try to get a little silly and make everyone smile. The recent and constant stream of bulls**t online videos is taking its toll on my sanity and disturbing my calm. I firmly believe that the human race is deserving of whatever it gets because anyone who is screaming and demanding “free speech” but then immediately uses it in the worse possible way, should be held to account. Todays post isn’t about “free speech” or “TikTok morons” but just another way to show how idiotic and stupid human beings can be if left unsupervised. Here are a few actual newspaper headlines that were once publishedand just prove my point even more.
HALF OF ALL CHILDREN TESTED SCORED BELOW AVERAGE
STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE
LIVING TOGETHER LINKED TO DIVORCE
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
BOYS CAUSE AS MANY PREGNANCIES AS GIRLS
DEADLINES PASS FOR STRIKING POLICE
CEMETERY ALLOWS PEOPLE TO BE BURIED BY THEIR PETS
POLICE SEARCH FOR WITNESSES TO ASSAULT
KIDS MAKE NUTRICIOUS SNACKS
PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
And last but not least, the funniest joke ever told, or so says some British experts in 2002:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 9-1-1. He gasps to the operator, “My friend is dead!, What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice, says, “Just take it easy. I can help. First let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, and then a shot was heard. The guys voice comes back on the line. He says, “Okay, now what?”
As most of you are well aware, I love limericks. And I don’t discriminate, I like them dirty, sexy, sassy, and any other way you can think of. With that in mind I recently discovered a book, a very small little book of limericks that were written more than 25 years ago. They’re not dirty, sexy, or sassy, but they are cute. These are silly limericks that will make you grin just a little and were almost certainly written for children. So if your let loose your inner child for just a bit you should enjoy these immensely.
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A ghost in the town of Khartoum Asked a skeleton up to his room. They spent the whole night In the eeriest fight As to who should be frightened of whom.
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A glutton who lived on the Rhine When asked what time he would dine, Replied, “At eleven, Four, six, three and seven, And eight and a quarter to nine.”
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A cheerful old bear at the zoo Could always find something to do. When it bored him to go On a walk to and fro, He reversed it, and walks fro and to.
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There was an old fellow named Green Who grew so abnormally lean, And flat, and compressed, His back touched his chest, And sideways he couldn’t be seen.
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There was the man from the city Who met what he thought was a kitty. He gave it a pat And said, “Nice little cat.” Just look at him now – what a pity!
I really hate to admit this, I’ve turned into a raging paranoic. I’ve blogged many times about fake and biased news and while it’s being addressed nationally these days, a lot of everyday folks love believing everything they read or hear. Today’s blog is a list of random nonsense being spoken of by good old ordinary Americans who obviously don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. It scares me a little because the more you tell a lie the more likely it is that some of the boneheads you’re telling believe it without question. I can’t do anything to stop that but I’ll certainly point out some strange shit that I’ve been seeing and hearing recently.
More than 1% of the US population is currently in jail. FALSE
Aspirin was originally invented to treat erectile dysfunction. FALSE
Left-handed people live an average of nine years longer than right-handed people. FALSE
Legendary children’s show host Mr. Rogers was once a Marine sniper with thousands of killed under his belt. FALSE
Despite being a common joke today, Robin never actually says Holy Cow (or Toledo)Batman during any episodes. FALSE
The planet Mercury is the hottest planet in the solar system. FALSE
If we removed every boat, ship, and submarine from the oceans, sea level would fall about 6 inches. FALSE
The popular online rumor suggests that hippopotamus milk is pink. FALSE
The word FUCK was once said over 1000 times in one movie. FALSE
Humans are the only animals on earth to perform oral sex on each other. FALSE
I thought today since its rather comfortable and cool I should leisurely look through my archives for a few dirty jokes to make you smile. We are expecting a rather nasty heat wave heading our way and I won’t be smiling much longer. Also, these are really just off-color jokes rather than the plain old filthy and dirty jokes I’ve posted previously.
A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on his porch in his favorite rocking chair with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what the hell are you doing?”, he asked. The old man looked off in the distance and didn’t answer him. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting here naked below the waist?, he asked once again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, “Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a really stiff neck. This was your grandma’s idea.”
Q. What’s the difference between your wages and a penis? A. You don’t have to beg your girlfriend to blow your wages.
A wife went to see her therapist and said, “I’ve got a big problem, Doctor.” Every time we’re in bed and my husband has an orgasm, he lets out an earsplitting yell.” My dear, the shrink said, “that’s completely natural. I don’t see what the problem is.” The problem is dammit, it keeps waking me up.”
There are three girls, and their boyfriends who all have the same name. So in order to keep them from getting confused, they decided to give their boyfriends nicknames. The first stated, “I call my man Seven Up.” They asked her, “Why do you call your man that?” She says, “Because he has 7 inches and it’s always up.” They then asked the second girl what she calls her man. She says, “I call my man Mountain Dew.” Why on earth do you call him that?” She says, Because he likes to mount and do me.” They then asked the third girl the same question and she replied, “I like to call my man Jack Daniels.” They look at her in a puzzled way, Why do you call your man that? Jack Daniels is a hard liquor!” She stated emphatically, “EXACTLY!”
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