Archive for the ‘fun’ Tag
With New Year’s approaching I’ve begun to think about my resolutions for 2015. In preparation for the new list it only makes sense to review last year’s resolutions. It might be necessary to use a few of them that I failed to live up to again this year.
2014
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Read five books a month. COMPLETED
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Teach the grandson one curse word per month once he begins talking. He still isn’t talking enough to complete this one. FAILURE
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Keep the number of F-bombs below 100 a week. COMPLETED
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Drink less brandy than last year but more than next year. COMPLETED
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Spend less than $300.00 at Dunkin Donut for the entire year ($25.00 per month). . . . as of 12/28/2014 $391.32. BIG FAILURE
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Stop dancing naked near the picture window in the living room, it scares the neighbors. I managed to stop the dancing but not being naked seems impossible for me. FAILURE
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Fight to my last breath to keep chickens and goats from becoming part of my life. COMPLETED
Four completed out of seven seems pretty good to me but I need to improve that next year. I’d really like just once to complete all of them but I always seem to get sidetracked with other stuff. I may need a few easy ones for 2015 that won’t require me to work so hard. With that thought in mind here is my new list.
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I vow to exercise for forty-one minutes every other day for the entire year.
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I vow to call President Obama nasty names only during months with an "R" in them.
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I further vow to never say anything good about President Obama in months without an "R".
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I vow to never blurt out any F-Bombs in front of the grandson now that he has started repeating damn near everything.
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I vow to say many more F-Bombs around those people (except the grandson) who irritate, annoy or piss me off.
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I vow to stop flirting with just anyone. There are times when I feel like such a slut and that’s not always a good thing for my self esteem.
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For the third year in a row I vow not to prance naked anywhere near the front picture window. It creeps out the neighbors and one or two of our regular joggers.
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I also vow not to screw with my cat as much this year due to his advanced age and sharp claws.
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I vow to take at least 500 really good photographs a month.
I’ll do my first review of these new resolutions sometime in June. Hopefully I’ll be on track to complete every one for the first time. As always the road to hell really is paved with good intentions.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
It’s Christmas Eve and our visitors have come and gone. It was a an afternoon and evening of relaxing, catching up, and snacking ourselves into submission. We’ll be having a huge dinner of turkey and all the trimmings tomorrow so it was decided tonight to just snack.
A large plate of cheeses (habanero is my favorite, of course) crackers, a few pounds of shrimp, cookies, veggies, and drinks all around. We all participated in an excellent X-Box bowling tournament and a few games of darts. Then we settled in for the movie of the night, Guardians of the Galaxy, and it was a fun and entertaining movie. The grandson was mingling with everyone and watching Mickey Mouse on his mother’s cell phone. It really is nice being around a true Santa believer for a change.
It’s later now and they’ve all just left for home. Getting the little guy to sleep will be the real Christmas miracle tonight. We all need to get some rest because tomorrow will be another very long day. It’s my turn to prepare the bird and my better-half is supplying her favorite family stuffing recipe for her kids. I should be one helluva meal.
We’ll be exchanging gifts around midday with the dinner to follow. So I’m off to bed to read a few chapters of one of my favorite detective novel. I have a collection of those novels on my e-reader and they help me get to sleep almost every night.
For those of you who celebrate your holiday on Christmas Eve, have a Merry Christmas. I’ll have a few additional pictures to post of our Christmas on Saturday and then it will be on to New Years.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
In this installment we’ll continue our journey through the huge crowds of people and make our way to visit the huge crowds of animals. I couldn’t possibly post all of the animal photos I took. The number and variety was amazing and the better-half made sure we saw each and every one of them. Here’s a montage:
‘Shave and a haircut.’
‘Llamas, I’m not a big fan.’
‘Clean as a whistle.’
‘Huge !!!’
If the Fair were held a little closer to our home I suspect we’d spend multiple days just roaming around the animal barns. Attending the many events where animals are displayed for judging would easily take an entire day. We were a little pickier this year in what we attended but as always because of my better-half’s love of pigs we took these pictures.
‘One happy pig.’
‘Many happy piglets.’
It’s now approaching the noon hour and we made our way to a small grandstand to watch the skillet throwing contest. I’m a big fan because the contest is a tongue-in-cheek throwback to the good old days of farm shows. I’ve captured a number of entrants as they tossed their skillets into the air but the last one was the big winner of the day. She was also the returning champion from last year’s Fair and to be as kind as possible she was more than a little scary.
‘Going . . . .’
‘Going . . . .’
‘ Gone !!!!, The winner and still champion.’
I took a quick picture of this guy who was either bored to death or just plain exhausted. He was sitting on his four wheeler with hundreds of people walking by and was dead asleep.
I knew exactly how he felt because it was the same malady that struck me as I sat listening to this Country and Western group while my better-half wandered around on her own shopping for more Fair junk.
My final installment from the Fair will be posted in two days and will include a variety of random shots taken throughout the day. Lots of food stops shopping kiosks, and hours of people watching. Come back to visit.
My body is talking to me this morning and it isn’t all that happy. Fryeburg Fair Day has come and gone for another year leaving us walking wounded behind. I’m going to post our Fair Day over the next few days because I have a lot of photos I’d like to share which should help give you a real feel for the place. The ride to Fryeburg was uneventful but the closer we got to the fairgrounds the more the traffic increased as you can see.
Being the simple person that I am I thought I’d start our day at the main entrance to the fairgrounds. This is one of the few events where I don’t mind paying a $10.00 entry fee. It’s worth every penny of that $.80 an hour it’s costing me. That’s a good deal anytime.
Yesterday was a day of smells. Twelve hours of smelly crowds, really smelly animals, and the aroma of deep fried everything. If you ever wanted to deep-fry a particular item, you could find a booth selling it here at the Fair. There’s nothing like the smell of old and hot cooking grease at 8:30 in the morning.
‘You don’t see signs like this too much anymore.’
If you like crowds this is the place to be. I’ve been coming to this event for seven years and my better-half for almost fifteen. In our opinion the crowd today is the largest either of us have ever seen. The fact that it’s Woodsmen Day is probably part of the explanation. It’s the day for axe throwing, log rolling, tree climbing, and an assortment of other events for the wannabe lumberjack. If you like beards and flannel shirts this is where you need to be.
I’m not sure exactly sure just how large the fairground is but with all of the campgrounds surrounding the place it must cover at least 100 acres or so. That’s an uneducated guess so those of you from Fryeburg who may be reading this shouldn’t get your panties in a knot if it’s a little inaccurate. To put it simply, the place is huge !!!!!
We normally start our visit with the area set aside for the little kids. Pony rides and small merry-go-rounds right next door to Old McDonald’s petting zoo. The little ones seem to love getting in there for a little "hands on" with the baby animals.
‘They love milking the plastic cow.’
Before doing anything else we stopped for our traditional Fair Day breakfast meal. A large order of greasy French Fries, vinegar, and ketchup will certainly get the old heart started on these cool Fall mornings. Another hour or so of wandering around is next on our agenda before we head for the animal barns. My better-half waits all year to return here to visit all of her animal friends. I swear she must have been born a farmer in a previous life. My next posting will offer up an assortment of animal pictures and a few other interesting events like the skillet toss.
That’s it for today, installment two will post in 2 days and if you have an interest in farm animals, stop back to visit.
I’ve been so busy of late I decided to take today off. My only task this morning was to can another ten jars of Bread & Butter pickles. The garden is producing ridiculous numbers of cucumbers, zucchini’s, and beans, making it a little difficult to keep up.
‘Before’
‘After’
I really hope to get a little reading done over the next few days. Last weekend we visited a local fair at St. Matthews church in Limerick, ME. This is an event that we try never to miss. It’s a three day event and draws quite a crowd from southern Maine. It consists of a huge flea market where you can still find a treasure or two for a very low price. Over the years I’ve found quite a few jewels and this year was no different. I found two stainless steel stock pots in like new condition without a mark on then for $15.00. If I tried to buy them at a retail store it would have been more like $50.00.
There were crowds of people everywhere but as always the biggest crowd was in the book tent. Tens of thousands of books, sorted on tables, and being rummaged through by hundreds of people. I normally am able to buy enough books to keep me reading for most of the Winter for less than $20.00. It’s hardback books for a buck and paperbacks for $.50 each. I bought so many I had two make two trips to the car to unload the bag. I may be a big fan of the Ereader’s but at these prices I’ll take a step back to reading actual books anytime. I still like the feel of the book in my hands and turning each page manually. An Ereader is more convenient to be sure but old habits are hard to break.
‘My Winter Stash’
Another thing I look forward to are the french fries. I’ve been on a no-carb diet for almost a year but there are certain occasions that demand that I eat some greasy, salty, and crunchy fries. I pigged out and with the help of my better-half, her daughter and her husband, and the grandson, we totally destroyed a giant box of fries along with half a bottle of ketchup. It was sinfully delicious.
The grandson who is just now starting to speak spent most of his time near the tent where they sell used children’s toys. He was drawn to a hot looking plastic Camaro with flashing red lights and shiny decals. That should keep him occupied for a week or so making it an excellent investment.
They offer some minor gambling with a chuck-a-luck wheel, a greenhouse selling plants, and a host of other food booths. The odd clown or two doing face painting for the kids and a huge barbecue cooking area loaded with roasting beef and chicken. The aroma is almost overwhelming. I like all of it except for those clowns that always seem to roaming around the grounds and showing up right next to me. After all these years they still creep me out.
‘Yikes!’
The better-half, the daughter, and the grandson are leaving on a road trip tomorrow heading south to Delaware and then on to Ocean City, Maryland. They’ll be meeting up some of her family members for a few beach days and a night or two on the Boardwalk. I guess I can expect another silly baseball hat and T-shirt to add to my collection. That also means a week off from everything on my better-half’s Honey-Do list. I’ll be able to read a few books, relax on the deck with the cat, and clear my head a little.
It should be a good week for us all.
People are strange. The things they do are strange, puzzling, amazing, and sometimes truly stupid. Today is just a day of musings and questions. There doesn’t seem to be logical answers for some of the things I see and hear every day.
I was shopping recently and discovered something odd and surprising. I found a rack of "duct tape" for sale in many and varied colors and patterns. There was some with tiger stripes and another covered with green shamrocks. Cool right? What’s the effing point?
My first reaction was why fancy duct tape?, and is it really "duct tape" or it is just "duck tape". I was always sure it was "duct tape" until I saw a recent TV commercial selling "Duck Tape". It looked the same as the good old standby stuff but it had a flashy and cool cartoon duck as it’s logo. So what do I ask for at Home Deport? Where do I find the Duck Tape? I’m then forced to deal with that stupid blank stare you get when one of their employees has no clue. Most people love duct tape and use it for damn near everything. But why? That leads me into my next unanswered question.
Have you ever skydived? Everyone knows that it’s one of those things that’s just so damn exciting and dangerous that everyone says they’d like to try it. I thought that at one time years ago and set out to try it myself. I spent a portion part of a day being trained on how to jump out of a plane. Stand in the door, look down, pee your pants , and jump . . . asshole. It wasn’t a college course but it was required by our local politicians and insurance companies before you do something stupid. That way everyone is protected if and when you hit the ground at full speed. I went up, jumped, came back down and rode an adrenaline high for hours. Just guess what the two things my memory has retained about that entire experience. The first thing was something I noticed as I climbed into one of the worst looking aircraft on earth. The entire interior surface of the plane was covered in duct tape (not duck tape). It looked like the pilot preferred using duct tape instead of doing regular maintenance. I thought at the time this was done specifically to help motivate idiots like me to jump out of that freaking death trap. It was apparently done so you didn’t snag anything like your chute as you moved to the open door to jump. Silly me.
The second thing that stuck with me was the young blond Scandinavian women with the tight purple skydiving outfit who was hanging around the airfield that day. After my extensive two hours of training she approached me with a business proposition. She offered to skydive with me wearing a camera helmet and to tape my entire jump from start to finish for only $150.00. She was extremely hot and I wanted to appear courageous so I signed up and gave her the cash. She slithered into the plane with us and sat across from me all smiles and moist hotness. During the flight to 14,0000 feet I fantasized about first doing the jump, surviving, and then possibly jumping her later. I knew I’d need help to drain away all of that excess adrenaline and she could certainly take care of that. That fantasy ended rather quickly when she cut the loudest and most disgusting fart I’ve ever heard, looked at me and smiled. Even the pilot of the little two seater turned around to see what all the noise was about. It took a few hours to get that stench out of my nostrils and it was just the additional motivation I needed to get the hell out that plane. She took a pretty good video of me on the way down and strutted away from the landing never to be seen again. Those are my two main memories of that day, duct tape (not duck tape) and blond bombshell farts. What a life.
My last inquiry into people calls into question their ability to recognize and identify when someone is feeding them a line of BS. As I’ve mentioned in the past, in another lifetime I was a state police officer in Pennsylvania. One of the downsides to being a rookie cop is being stuck with all of the crap traffic details the more senior officers don’t want to do. There’s a state park called Moraine Lake near Butler, Pennsylvania that is a huge tourist draw during the summer months. Unfortunately the only entrance and exit to the public beaches is from a nearby interstate highway. It became so congested at times on Saturdays that the backed up traffic would become a public hazard. This required a few of us rookies to spend our day standing in the hot sun telling citizens to keep moving because the beaches were full and there was no place to park. This required them to drive five additional miles to the next exit just so they could turn around and drive back for another try. There weren’t many happy folks after that and on a normal Saturday the station would receive hundreds of complaint calls from pissed off beach goers.
On one specific Saturday I was sent out to the park in mid afternoon after traffic had already been rerouted for hours. There was a veteran cop there which was unusual and he seemed to be in charge. I found out later he was there on a punishment detail for some infraction he’d committed a few days before. For the first time in history there were almost no complaint calls being received at the station. I found out why just after my arrival at the park. That veteran officer was telling each and every car that came by that "there were sharks found in the lake and the beaches were closed, keep moving please." Not one person questioned him or called the station to verify his story. The funniest thing was the rumor about lake sharks being mentioned in a local newspaper the next day. I was amazed then and still am.
That’s it….I just had to ask these question and I honestly never expected a reasonable answer to any of them.
I’m declaring today as Silly Day. As I’m feeling right now I have no interest in anything important. I don’t want to discuss the problems of our society, questions about the universe or the reason why my legs and butt cheeks hurt when I get up in the morning. None of that is least bit important today.
I have quite the collection of quotes and sayings and adages for every occasion but today Silly and Stupid reign supreme. The following tidbits address just about anything you’d like to think about and do so in a silly and stupid way. These tidbits have been obtained from all sorts of strange and wonderful sources from TV shows, philosophers, and even a comedian or two.
We all need to laugh once in a while. Enjoy!
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Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. – Rita Mae Brown
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A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him. – Sir Winston Churchill
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Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off. – Anonymous
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Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you’re William Hurt. – Phil Dunphy of Modern Family
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Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. – Carl Zwanzig
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Home is heaven and orgies are vile but I like an orgy, once in a while. – Ogden Nash
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A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid. – Jack Benny
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I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. – Fred Allen
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Resolve is never stronger than in the morning after the night it was never weaker. – From the movie Naked
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Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you. – Colin Sautar
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Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years. – Anonymous
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A wise saying is something you keep picking up off the floor in front of your fridge. – Robert Brault
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I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. – Anonymous
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She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong. – Mae West
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She was what we used to call a suicide blond – dyed by her own hand. – Saul Bellow
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After all, what is your host’s purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they’d have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. – P.J. O’Rourke
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I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. – Elayne Boosler
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If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me. – Song title by Jimmy Buffet
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Man was predestined to have free will. – Hal Lee Luyah
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Maybe this world is another planet’s hell. – Aldous Huxley
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Murphy was an optimist. – O’Toole’s Commentary
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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. – Bill Watterson
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You can’t have everything… where would you put it? – Steven Wright
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He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed. – Harry Kalas
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I plan on living forever. So far, so good. – Anonymous
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Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter. – Anonymous
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Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. – P.D. East
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As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed. Gluttony and Sloth I pretty much plan my day around. – Robert Brault
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I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants. – Dave Beard
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There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family. – Jerry Seinfeld
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And on the eighth day God said, “Okay, Murphy, you’re in charge!” – Anonymous
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When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football. – Anonymous
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A great name for a new country song: If I’d Shot You Sooner, I’d Be Out of Jail by Now. – Anonymous
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. – Fred Allen
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Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. – H.L. Mencken
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A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. – Anonymous
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A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t. – Anonymous
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All generalizations are bad. – R.H. Grenier
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All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. – Jane Wagner, The Search For Intelligent Life In The Universe
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The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away. – Tom Waits
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Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines. – Attributed to both Jason Hutchison and John Benfield
Did I lie? Silly and Stupid. I just felt like lightening matters up today because if I take a peek into the real world it depresses the hell out of me. Politics sickens me and listening to drug company commercials and the constant stream of advertisements on every bit of media almost every second of every day of every year for the rest of my effing life makes me want to scream out loud.
The weekend is coming, so let this steaming pile of minutia get you in the right frame of mind.
I’m feeling particularly lazy today and I’m also in a good mood and that combination of things almost never happens. I could get into one of my usual political rants or maybe a journal entry explaining to you how boring my life usually is but I won’t do that either. Everyone loves to laugh and I’ll try to make that happen today.
Without a healthy sense of humor life can become tedious. I enjoy a good dirty limerick or a good off-color joke like most people because they help make our existence on this ball of mud we call Earth bearable.
I’ve collected a few jokes that have tickled my fancy in the past and I thought I’d pass them along. Everything is better when accompanied by humor and I do mean everything. People seem friendlier, music sounds better, food tastes better, and the sex is OMFG incredible. Read these jokes and then say hello to a friend, play a good song, eat a good sandwich, and then bang your significant other. Then call me and let me know how much better it all was.
Read on, all of you laughter-starved people. Let’s start off with a reasonable explanation on the differences between men and women.
Friendship among women: A woman doesn’t come home at night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friend’s house. The man calls his wife’s ten best friends. None of them know about it.
Friendship among men: A man doesn’t come home at night. The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friend’s house. The woman calls her husband’s ten best friends. Eight of them say he slept over. Two claim he’s still there.
Next a joke that takes a while to find your funny bone but when it finally does you’ll love it.
The phone call
((((RING))))
**Pick Up**
“Hello?” “Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?” “No Daddy, She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.” “Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy right now” …..
** Brief Pause**
“Uh, okay then, ..this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”
“Okay Daddy, just a minute” A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it, Daddy” “And what happened honey?” he asked “Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!” “Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?” “He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead”
***Long Pause***
******Longer Pause******
Then Daddy says: “Swimming pool?? .. Is this 486-5731??”
Are you laughing yet? I know it was a little morbid but that’s what makes humor so cool. Even morbid is funny. Next on my list is a little something that’s humorous and irritating all at the same time. I dislike all Unions and never miss a chance to tweak their noses a bit.
Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, “Jesus, I’ve suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam war…could you help me?”
“Of course, my son”, Jesus said, and when he touched the man’s back, he felt relief for the first time in years. The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man’s glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man’s eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly.
When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, “Don’t touch me! I’m on long term disability.”
If you’re like me, visiting movie theaters has become something I choose not to do. Ignorant people carrying on loud conversations together or on their freaking cell phones making it virtually impossible to focus on the expensive movie that’s playing. This joke is for them.
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.” Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.
In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s your name?” “Sam,” the man moaned. “Where ya from, Sam?” With pain in his voice Sam replied “The balcony.”
And last but not least I’ll again address the humor rich subject of the “war between the sexes”. I’ll ask all of you married guys out there if this joke reminds you of anyone you know.
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.” The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.” She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.” The wife is furious. She yells at him “Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore …” The man sighs and says, “It’s started …”
I hope this starts your day with a smile.
Well, another Christmas has come and gone. It’s late and the last of the family and friends have headed home. The day started early with my better-hale preparing some of her family traditions for Christmas morning. She makes a batch of cinnamon buns covered with lots of sugary icing. That and a large cup of hot coffee will definitely get your heart started. The grandson and his mom and dad arrived in late morning requiring the platter of shrimp to be unveiled and devoured. We all gathered in the living room around the tree for a time chit-chatting about this and that. It was obvious to me that everyone was just going through the motions until they could dig into the pile and open their gifts.
“The Aftermath”
As you can see an hour later and the room looked like Santa had shown up and then exploded. It took almost as long to clean up the debris as it did shopping to buy the stuff in the first place. The cat and grandson had a great time rummaging through the piles of wrapping paper and boxes seemingly more interested in that stuff than the gifts themselves. Kids!!!! Cats!!!!
Another hour has passed and everyone appears thrilled with their gifts so we snack a little more waiting for the next group to arrive. Our two visitors from northern Maine have finally arrived with tales of the previous day’s ice storm and the fact that most people up north are without electricity. It’s one of the hazards of living in Maine and those storms can be brutal. The last time we had one here we were without power for almost a week and a half. It’s difficult to sleep in a cold bed wearing a parka, gloves, and a tassel hat. It’s hard but we did it. The pictures taken during that storm are locked away where no one can seem them. We looked god awful.
After our new visitors had a beer and a few snacks the bowling tournament on the X-box began. I was able to avoid all of that because of my leg injury so I was the official photographer. Everyone had a ball with my better-half taking home the winners trophy.
Then it was my turn to cook and to fed the hoard with a decent meal. A honey-baked ham, rice, Brussels sprouts, and corn took care of everyone’s hunger pangs. It was followed later by delicious apple and pumpkin pies. Then after digesting for a while it was back to the X-box for a few rounds of darts which I also avoided by using “cleaning up the kitchen” as my excuse.
After loading up the cars they were off for the night leaving us at least two days of clean up. All in all a successful holiday gathering with a fun group of people. The better-half is scheduled for work at 5:00am and her son is flying out at 9:00am. Unfortunately none of us will be getting enough sleep tonight and we should be zombies all day tomorrow.
I hope your day was as enjoyable as ours. Merry Christmas!
According to Socrates “an unexamined life is not worth living”. I agree with that to a point because there are times when looking back has truly restorative value. It clears the mind by allowing us to revisit simpler and sometimes happier times. The post that follows is me looking back and remembering how different things were not so long ago. I’m not saying they were always better but in some cases they definitely were. Read on and enjoy a short but detailed visit to my early childhood.
Way back…
I’m talking about hide and seek at dusk, sitting on the porch. Hot bread and butter, eating’ a super-dooper sandwich (Dagwood), Red light, Green light, 1 2 3.
Chocolate milk, lunch tickets, penny candy in a brown paper bag. Hopscotch, butterscotch, Double-Dutch, jacks, kickball, and dodge ball. Mother, May I? Hula Hoops, Sunflower Seeds, jawbreakers, blow pops, Mary Janes, and running through the sprinklers. The smell of the sun and licking salty lips.
Wait……
Watching lightening bugs in a jar, playing slingshot and Red Rover. When around the corner seemed far away, and going downtown seemed like going somewhere.
Bedtime, Climbing trees. A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers. Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, sitting on the curb, jumping down the steps, jumping on the bed, and pillow fights.
Being tickled to death, running till you were out of breath. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Being tired from playing …. Remember that?
I’m not finished just yet…
What about the girl that had the big bubbly hand writing? Licking the beaters when your mother made a cake. When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF Flyers), and the only time you wore them at school, was for “gym.”
When nobody owned a purebred dog. When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter a huge bonus. When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny. When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then. When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free. And you didn’t pay for air, and, you got trading stamps to boot! When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.
When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it. When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.
Not done yet . . .
When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done, everyday. When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed…and did! When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home. Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a slingshot. When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn’t because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Disapproval of our parents and grandparents was a much bigger threat!
Decisions were made by going “eeny-meeny-miney-mo.” Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, “do over!” “Race issue” meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in “Monopoly.”
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening. It wasn’t odd to have two or three “best” friends. Being old, referred to anyone over 20. The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn’t matter. It was unbelievable that dodge ball wasn’t an Olympic event.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties. It was magic when dad would “remove” his thumb. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
Nobody was prettier than Mom.
IT’S NICE TO OCCASIONALLY LOOK BACK
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