Here I sit sipping a glass of 160 proof Jack Daniels, and I really do mean just “Sipping”. I have to admit it’s really smooth for something that will numb your brain and kick your ass. It has convinced me to once again do a post on “Whiskey”. For most of my 20’s and into my 30’s I was a Cutty Sark lover. Working as a police officer in a department filled with scotch drinkers I fit right in. In my late thirties I began making my own wine and for the next fifteen years I drank my somewhat interesting homemade wines and occasionally would spring for a more expensive bottle or two. Then in my seventies I was diagnosed with colon cancer and for 7 months the chemotherapy turned me into a teetotaler. For some inexplicable reason it also made it impossible for me to drink wine of any kind. So, I was returned to the mothers milk of whiskey lovers, Jack Daniels. It was like coming home again. This whiskey lover will now lay a few bits of whiskey trivia on you. Pour a drink and enjoy.
This excerpt was taken from a collection of medical recipes from the 15th century:For deafness . . . Take the bile of a hare with aqua vit and the milk of a woman’s breast in the same quantity and mix them well together and put them in the ear. This is a sure cure for deafness.
According to the Guinness Book of World Records in 2018, the oldest bottle of whiskey still left unopened to the world is Baker’s Pure Rye Whiskey, distilled in 1847.
There is a quote from Mr. Tommy Cooper: “I’m on a whiskey diet, I lost three days already.”
Kentucky is home to more barrels of maturing bourbon than people. Kentucky’s population was approximately 4.5 million people while the barrels of whiskey totaled 91 million.
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Here is a quote from one of my favorites, Mark Twain:
“I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventative of toothache. I have neverhad the toothache, and what is more, I never intend to have it.”
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In 2019, 1.3 billion bottles of Scotch whiskey were bottled. If you laid all these bottles end-to-end they would stretch 350,000 km or 217,000 miles, or 90% of the distance to the moon! Moonshine indeed.
This last post is a quote by Joel Rosenberg and is one of my all-time favorites. If I wasn’t going to be cremated when I pass I would’ve have certainly requested this on my tombstone.
“I’m a simple man. All I want is enough sleep for two normal men,
enough whiskey for three, and enough women for four.”
I’ve been called many things in my life. Some were complimentary and others not so much. My all-time favorite without a doubt is that I’m a sarcastic son-of-bitch. To me that is nothing more than a badge of honor which I wear proudly. Most people know the word sarcastic but have no idea what it really means. I’ve spent many years honing my sarcasm skills so today I’m now willing to share some of them with you. Here are some commonly used words with a beautiful yet sarcastic explanation. Read on my sarcastically uneducated and challenged readers.
CALM-What you are usually urged to remain around the time the third engine on the aircraft has failed.
PERFECTIONIST-The worst kind of boss; the best kind of sex partner.
PERKY-Lively, jaunty, brisk, or to put it another way, just asking for a punch in the damn face.
PUBLIC RESTROOM-A place containing toilet seats that make you wish you could be taught how to hover.
REALITY-A state in which you assume everybody else resides, until you start dating.
REGRET-The gnawing, inescapable feeling that behaving like a total dick for your entire life may not have been such a good idea.
MACHO-A form of overstated masculinity, requiring males to live in a state of constant readiness to whip it out and see whose is bigger.
NITPICK-To rip someone a new one without leaving anything out.
DRUNK-Intoxicated with alcoholic beverages. An absolutely crucial component in the decision to photocopy one’s ass cheeks.
DRESS-Something that does not, I said not, make you look fat.
DEGREE-A certificate of academic achievement awarded at the college level. Comes in very handy when asking people if they want fries with that.
CHIVALRY-Considerate behavior that a man completely abandons right after as many dates as it takes to get a woman into bed.
BAR-A place where lonely, desperate people go to get hammered enough to find other lonely, desperate people suddenly irresistible.
HOTDOG-The toenails, lips, and eyebrows of various animals served on a bun.
HUNGOVER- A condition that makes figuring out who was next to you in bed this morning take anywhere from five minutes to a lifetime.
I thought this morning I’d try to get a little silly and make everyone smile. The recent and constant stream of bulls**t online videos is taking its toll on my sanity and disturbing my calm. I firmly believe that the human race is deserving of whatever it gets because anyone who is screaming and demanding “free speech” but then immediately uses it in the worse possible way, should be held to account. Todays post isn’t about “free speech” or “TikTok morons” but just another way to show how idiotic and stupid human beings can be if left unsupervised. Here are a few actual newspaper headlines that were once publishedand just prove my point even more.
HALF OF ALL CHILDREN TESTED SCORED BELOW AVERAGE
STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE
LIVING TOGETHER LINKED TO DIVORCE
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
BOYS CAUSE AS MANY PREGNANCIES AS GIRLS
DEADLINES PASS FOR STRIKING POLICE
CEMETERY ALLOWS PEOPLE TO BE BURIED BY THEIR PETS
POLICE SEARCH FOR WITNESSES TO ASSAULT
KIDS MAKE NUTRICIOUS SNACKS
PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
And last but not least, the funniest joke ever told, or so says some British experts in 2002:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 9-1-1. He gasps to the operator, “My friend is dead!, What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice, says, “Just take it easy. I can help. First let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, and then a shot was heard. The guys voice comes back on the line. He says, “Okay, now what?”
I’m a huge fan of using quotations in my posts from the rich, the famous, and the wannabe famous. I thought today would be a good day to give kudos to the one person who supplies us with endless quotations that are almost always funny, truthful, and many times sarcastic. That writer is Mr. Anonymous. I did a little research this morning and came up with 15 quotes from Mr. Anonymous that I really liked and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. Here they are.
“Criticism is the disapproval of people, not for having faults but for having faults different from ours.“
“The Eiffel Tower in Paris is the Empire State building after taxes.“
“One reassuring thing about modern art is that things can’t possibly be as bad as they are painted.“
“An average film is where the actor has more lines in his face than in his script.“
“Modern art is when you buy a picture to cover a hole in the wall and then decide the hole looks much better.“
“Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.“
“Hollywood is Malice in Wonderland.“
“If white bread could sing it would sound like Olivia Newton John.“
“Television is a box that has changed children from an irresistible force into an immovable object.“
“Parents never appreciate a teacher unless it rains all weekend.“
MR. ANONYMOUS
“You can tell a Harvard man, but you can’t tell him much.“
“Psychology is the science that tells you what you already know in words you don’t understand.“
“Eating food with a knife and fork is like making love through an interpreter.“
“If you speak three languages your trilingual. If you can speak two languages you are bilingual. If you can only speak one language you’re an American.“
“A Hollywood marriage is one in which the couple vow to be faithful until after the honeymoon.“
And now I’ll offer up one of my own quotes:
“OLD AGE AND RETIREMENT ARE JUST KARMIC RETRIBUTION”
I’ve spent the last five and a half years being tended to by a score of doctors and nurses and it saved my life. It’s given me time to really examine their profession and the the abilities they have to save lives. Todays post will introduce odd facts and historical information where the roots of our current medical treatments began. Some of it is a little strange and also a little frightening but that’s how we’ve learned the skills being used today.
The first image of the doctors stitching up a wound can be found on the Edwin Smith Papyrus (1600 B.C.).
Ancient Egyptian medicine was considered so advanced that the rulers of neighboring kingdoms would often bribe, cajole, or even send someone to kidnap the Pharaoh’s best doctors.
The 3000-year-old “Ebers Papyrus” was written on a 65 foot long scroll and describes treatments for the eyes, skin, extremities, and organs. It also lists medicinal plants such as mustard, saffron, onions, garlic, thyme, sesame, caraway, and poppy seed, and offers more than 800 recipes for their use.
The Egyptians used opium as crude forms of anesthesia when operating on patients. They also created a milder painkiller by mixing water with vinegar and adding ground Memphite stone. The resulting “laughing gas” was inhaled.
The first known surgery for cataracts was performed in the Egyptian city of Alexandria in about A.D. 100.
A collection of 37 surgical instruments is engraved on the wall in the Egyptian Temple of Kom-Ombo (2d century B.C.). Some show amazing similarities to modern surgical instruments and includes scalpels, scissors, needles, forceps, lancets, hooks, and pincers.
The original Hippocratic Oath was written by a school of philosophers known as the Pythagoreans and was actually a reaction against the writings of Hippocrates. The Pythagoreans were conservative and even backward looking in many ways forbidding many medical practices, including the surgery.
The Romans considered cabbage to be a magically protective food. The philosopher Cato wrote that Romans should not only eat cabbage at every meal, but also drink the urine of someone who’d eaten cabbage two days before.
In both ancient Greece and Rome, doctors didn’t need licenses or any formal training to practice. Anyone could call himself a doctor. If his methods worked, he attracted more patients, if not, he found himself another job.
Most Roman surgical instruments were made of bronze, or occasionally of silver. Iron was considered taboo by both Greeks and Romans and was never used for surgical instruments on religious grounds.
I thought today I would offer up a short quiz on Food. I was motivated by spending a few hours yesterday with my better-half making some of our good old down-home hot salsa with many of the ingredients coming from our garden. I sliced and diced veggies until my hands cramped but as always it was well worth the effort. The end result was 21 pints and three quarts of killer hot salsa. We’ve spent years creating and adjusting the recipe and we make a batch every Fall for our own use and gifts for family and friends during the holidays. As always the answers to this quiz will be listed below. Let’s see how you do.
1. What breakfast food gets its name from the German word for “stirrup?”
2. What drink is named for the wormwood plant?
3. What two spices are derived from the fruit of the nutmeg tree?
4. What product was introduced in Japanese supermarkets after a survey showed half the country’s young people weren’t able to use chopsticks?
5. What flavor ice cream did Dolly Madison serve at the inaugural festivities in 1812?
6. What did the homesick alien get drunk on in Steven Spielberg’s hit film from 1982, E. T. The Extra-Terrestrial?
7. What popular treat did 11-year-old Frank Epperson accidentally invent in 1905 and then patent in 1924?
8. What favorite recipe of her and her husbands did First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy have taped to the wall in the White House kitchen?
9. What popular soft drink contained the drug lithium-now available only by prescription-when it will was introduced in 1929?
10. What food product is named after Hannibal’s brother Mago?
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Answers
Bagel, Vermouth, Nutmeg & Mace, Trainer Chopsticks, Strawberry, Coors Beer, The Popsicle, The Daiquiri, 7-Up, Mayonnaise.
I like finding information in history that I’ve never heard before. Here are two samples of incidents that apparently are not common knowledge. Enjoy!
HARRY CARAY
We don’t know where or when the “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” seven-inning sing-along began, but one early claim and perhaps the one that popularized it was the result of a prank. In the 1970’s, baseball broadcaster Harry Caray, then a play-by-play announcer for the White Sox, was known to sing along to the song while in the broadcast booth, which was normally with the microphone off. Bill Veeck found out about this and one day unbeknownst to Caray he turned the broadcaster’s microphone on and piped Caray’s rendition to the fans. The fans absolutely loved it, and when Caray moved to the crosstown Chicago Cubs, he kept it going.
FORT SUMTER
Here’s a little tidbit from the Civil War era. Officially, the siege of Fort Sumter had a death toll of just two men, both Union soldiers. But those deaths weren’t at the hands of the Confederacy. Fort Sumter, low on provisions and undermanned, was unable to thwart the Confederate bombardment. Major Robert Anderson, the commander of the fort agreed to surrender after less than two days of bombardment, under the condition that his men be allowed to give a 100-gun salute when lowering the American flag. During that ceremony, some ammunition went off accidentally, killing Pvt. Edward Galloway and Daniel Hough, the only casualties.
I sat for a while this morning (Sunday) trying to decide what to post. With the NFL season “kicking off” I’m being constantly distracted by my football insane better-half. She’s wearing a different jersey for each of the games she intends to watch on three TV’s in three different rooms of the house. All the while giving me a steady stream of narrative on teams that I could care less about. So my solution is to calm down, put on my noise cancelling headset, and read some poems written by some young upcoming poets. Enjoy them and then you can return to all of the football insanity.
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By Jackson O’Donnell, Age 8
The clouds float by with eaglets watching by and by Really watching. They must think that they are kings Those funny little bald things.
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By Mona Thomas, Age 11
A little white mouse Playing upon a sun beam Then sliding back down.
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By Philip McIntyre Junior, Age 12
I see a rabbit drinking at a stream, I know it wants to run from me, tense as it may seem, But some unknown force makes it stay right there and sit, The same curiosity that makes me keep watching it.
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By Maura Copeland, Age 10
The heat of yesterday transformed the city into A kingdom of clouds. The skyscraper pierced the fog looking like temples of an ancient land.
Henry David Thoreau once burned down 300 acres of forest trying to cook a fish.
Abraham Lincoln once stated, “No matter how much the fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens.”
A Loony Law from the 1950’s – It was illegal for a flying saucer to land in a French vineyard.
Cicero once stated, “Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”
To quote William Randolph Hearst: “News is what people don’t want you to print. Everything else is ads.”
Ghandi speaking about Adolf Hitler – “I do not consider him to be as bad as depicted. He’s showing an ability that is amazing, and he seems to be gaining his victories without much bloodshed.”
Sigmund Freud once stated, “What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would’ve burned me. Now they are content with burning my books.”
During an interview in the 1950’s, Pope John XXIII was asked how many people work in the Vatican. He immediately stated: “About half.”
“I would’ve made a good Pope.” – Once stated by Richard Nixon
Random fact: License plates came before cars – as they were used on horse-drawn carriages in 1884.
This quote is one of my favorites as it applies to me:
“Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a God.” Aristotle
I’ve stated many times as to my love for limericks especially those written by Isaac Asimov. Along with Isaac you must give a shout out to John Ciardi as well. He and Asimov had great fun trying to outdo each other with their written limericks. They even jointly published a book about their limerick feud which is a classic. These four limericks were written by John Ciardi for that book in response to a few that Asimov had written. I’ve read their book many times and still enjoy their bawdy humor. I hope you will enjoy it as well.
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The Times tells the world what is doing; Who’s winning, who’s losing, who’s suing, Whose striking, who’s stealing, Who’s dying, whose healing, But won’t say a word on who’s screwing.
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The girl who is really unbeatable Is the one with whom sex is repeatable. Who’s eternally screwable And always renewable, And who, most of all, is found eatable.
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There was a young woman named Cora Lee Who said, “I will do it immorally On top and bottom, Any way that I’ve got them, Vaginally, anally, and orally”.
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There once was a wicked old squire Who burned with libidinous desire. After screwing a nun And the minister son, He took all the girls in the choir.
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THE BOOK IS TITLED – ISAAC ASIMOV & JOHN CIARDI – A WAR OF WORDS
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