Archive for the ‘Useless Crap’ Category
If your experiences in life are anything like mine have been there’s always someone available to offer advice, both good and bad. Usually without you even asking. Every one thinks they’re some kind of philosopher and never hesitate to show you just how smart they think they are. It can be annoying as hell but every once in a while the proverbial blind man can find that pearl of wisdom. Unfortunately you’ll probably be forced to listen to a few dozen inane and stupid statements to get to the one that would really mean something.
My father and grandfather’s had an endless supply of what they thought were inspirational messages. “Don’t pee or spit into the wind.” and “Don’t tug on Superman’s cape.” immediately come to mind. A special thanks to Jim Croce for supplying my Dad with that one.
I began looking around the Net for more material on this subject but was soon overwhelmed with possibilities. Some of the following messages and quotes, and thoughts came from celebrities, politicians, and as always my favorite, Anonymous. I’ve removed the names of the authors because it the message that counts not who wrote it. You should be able to figure a few of them out if you give it some thought. Here we go.
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“Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.”
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”The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.”
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”It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.”
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”Your garbage disposal eats better than 30% of the people in this world.”
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”Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?”
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”Never do card tricks for your poker buddies.”
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”To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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Beware of the toes you step on today. They could be attached to the ass you may have to kiss tomorrow.”
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“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”
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“The only normal people are the ones that you don’t know very well.”
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“What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.”
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“If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.”
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“A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.”
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“If you want to leave footprints in the sands of time, don’t drag your feet.”
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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
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“The harder you fall, the higher you bounce.”
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“I prefer to be a pessimist; it makes it easier to deal with my inevitable failure.”
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“Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows him?”
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“To be ignorant of one’s ignorance is the malady of the ignorant.”
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“A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.”
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“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
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“Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.”
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“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.”
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“Never test the depth of the water with both feet.”
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“Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.”
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“If you lend someone $25 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.”
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“Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.”
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“The difference between erotic and kinky is that one uses a feather, the other uses the whole chicken.”
Pick a few out that you like and memorize them. That way when you’re philosophizing for others you’ll have something to impress them with. You do know we all do it, all of the time, Right?
The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears. ~Bill Vaughn
Today is one of my favorite stupid and senseless holidays. It’s one that was cooked up by a bunch of German immigrants from Pennsylvania many years ago. As I’ve explained in years past, I’ve had an up-close and personal relationship with “Phil” and all of the nonsense that takes place in Punxatawney, PA.
It’s a tongue-in-cheek celebration to the entire world except for a few idiot local politician’s looking to get some face-time on the news. Even a groundhog is smart enough to know that there’ll be six more weeks of winter when it’s only freaking February.
As I surfed around today I found a web page that must be having a really slow month when it published the following list of eleven reasons why we should be celebrating this auspicious occasion.
11. It’s on nearly every calendar.
10. Helps relieve cabin fever.
9. Spring or not, it’s six weeks till St Urho’s Day.
8. Forecast is no less reliable than the National Weather Service.
7. At least one of them critters is bound to see things your way.
6. Valentine’s Day is too depressing for nerds.
5. Unlike the Easter bunny, he keeps his dirty paws outside.
4. As they used to say on radio: “The Shadow knows”.
3. It’s fun to say “Punxsutawney”.
2. If a rodent can bring us an early spring, more power to him.
1. In Minnesota, either way we come out ahead.
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. ~Maori Proverb
I apologize if you nodded off midway through that list. I’m not saying I could have done better but OMG. I think the author might have reconsidered that list when both of his hands fell asleep as he typed it. They were that bored. It is just a real yawner . . . . .
“The trouble with weather forecasting is that it’s right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.” ~Patrick Young
I know that many of you think Groundhog Day is lame but this year the impossible finally happened to make it unlame. Some NFL genius scheduled the Superbowl on Ground Hog Day just so they could steal some of good old “Punxatawney Phil’s” thunder. It’s just those damn sports fanatics attempting to glom on to Phil’s fan base. Just a shameless maneuver on their part.
HAPPY GROUND HOG DAY EVERYONE
SEATTLE RULES!!
Well we’re in day three of the Coffee Trivia marathon. I’ve explained in detail all of my past addictions, MY history with coffee over the years and finally today I’ll address my current coffee situation.
“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.” ~Ronald Reagan
I’m in the throes of a weight-loss program which while needed is nonetheless annoying and difficult. The diet I’ve been restricted to is not easy and leaves me very few food items that are fulfilling and satisfying. I kid people when I tell them my diet consists of radishes, pudding, cashews, cereal, water, and above all coffee. Coffee is and remains my one luxury item and regardless of what any Doctor tells me it will be the last thing I ever give up.
That being said, I’d like introduce you to my two new best friends. My weight-loss program would never be as successful as it’s been without these devices.
They allow me the luxury of a large number of options in preparing my coffee and it’s helped me work through this ungodly diet. As you can also see the variety of coffee’s available is incredible and I’m really enjoying tasting as many different types and styles as I can find.
So now I’ll continue my seemingly endless list of coffee trivia. I hope you’ve learned a little about coffee and it’s tremendous effect on the world’s economy as well as the huge number of employees it supports worldwide. It appears I’m not the only coffee addict on this planet. I’m just one of many millions who loves the bean. Enjoy.
“Still One of the Best”
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65 countries in the world grow coffee. They are all along the equator, within the tropics.
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After they are roasted, and when the coffee beans begin to cool, they release about 700 chemical substances that make up the vaporizing aromas.
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Beethoven who was a coffee lover, was so particular about his coffee that he always counted 60 beans each cup when he prepared his brew.
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Before roasting, some green coffee beans are stored for years, and experts believe that certain beans improve with age, when stored properly.
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Before the first French cafe in the late 1700’s, coffee was sold by street vendors in Europe, in the Arab fashion. The Arabs were the forerunners of the sidewalk espresso carts of today.
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Brazil accounts for almost 1/3 of the world’s coffee production, producing over 3-1/3 billion pounds of coffee each year.
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In 1675 Charles II, King of England issued a proclamation banning Coffee Houses. He said that they were places where people met to plot against him.
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30% of coffee drinkers in US added a sweetener of some kind to their coffee, compared with 57% in UK.
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October 1st is official “Coffee Day” in Japan.
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Scientists have discovered more than 800 different aromatic compounds in coffee.
“The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a ‘decaf grandee, half soy, half low-fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one NutraSweet,’ ooooh, you’re a huge asshole.” ~ George Carlin
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Black coffee with no sugar contains no calories.
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Coffee represents 75% of all the caffeine consumed in the United States.
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Coffee sacks are usually made of hemp and weigh approximately 132 pounds when they are full of green coffee beans. It takes over 600,000 beans to fill a coffee sack.
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Coffee trees are evergreen and grow to heights above 15 feet but are normally pruned to around 8 feet in order to facilitate harvesting.
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Coffee trees are self-pollinating.
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Coffee trees produce highly aromatic, short-lived flowers producing a scent between jasmine and orange. These blossoms produce cranberry-sized coffee cherries. It takes four to five years to yield a commercial harvest.
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75% of the world’s coffee comes from the Coffea Arabica plant.
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Drinking a single cup of coffee that has been brewing for 20 minutes provides the body with 300 phytochemicals which act as antioxidants and stay in the body for up to a month.
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In days gone by, Turkish bridegroom had to promise that they would always provide their new wives with coffee.
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Worldwide, more 1400 millions cups of coffee are drunk every day.
This will be the final installment of the Coffee Trivia postings. I have to admit that I’ve collected enough information for a few more but I don’t want to overdue it. Possibly in the near future I’ll put together additional ones but I’ll let enough time pass so as not to bore everyone.
MORE TO COME EVENTUALLY
“That’s something that annoys the hell out of me- I mean if somebody says the coffee’s all ready and it isn’t” ― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
Yesterday in Coffee Trivia I I had quite a lot to say about my previous addictions as well as my fondness for coffee. Today you’ll receive more useless coffee information that I’m required to supply because of my addiction. All addictions have a downside and besides tasting wonderful so does coffee. It gives me that extra energy burst and ability to talk for long periods of time without taking a breath. Lucky you, your here for the lecture.
My love affair with coffee didn’t start at an early age like you might think. I wasn’t permitted to drink all that much coffee as a kid because my father felt it might effect my ability to play sports. Once I left for college his control over my beverage intake was finally at an end. I found coffee to be that best friend I’d been missing. The love affair began in earnest at that time and I’ve never looked back, not once. At the time I lived with five other guys in an apartment and there wasn’t a minute of the day that the coffee pot wasn’t full, steaming hot, and available for drinking. We never kept track but I can almost bet we drank more coffee than alcohol during those years and that’s saying something.
I eventually left school and enlisted in the army since the draft board was hot on my heels. For the next three years both in the United States and overseas I drank enough coffee to float a battleship. There’s nothing like Army coffee, it can almost eat the enamel right off your teeth. I won’t even begin to try and explain how the Korean’s made their coffee, it was indescribable. I also learned how to make instant coffee from C-ration packets and it sucked so bad I was forced to cut my coffee consumption in the field by 10%. For me that was a major concession.
Skipping ahead a few years and all of a sudden I’m a police officer working in a profession that is known for coffee and donuts. I was never too concerned with the donuts but I thrived on the coffee for seven years. I carried a thermos of hot coffee in the car with me and I’d stop when necessary to refill during my shift. Night shifts were another story altogether. My partner and I were never without a steaming hot coffee in the car or during our lunch stops at restaurants.
So you can see how my addiction to coffee has been the one consistent thing in my life for decades. All of my other addictions were just distractions but my love of coffee remains constant and still does. So let’s get this show on the road. I thought I knew a lot about coffee but I really had no clue. Some of these facts are humorous and some aren’t but they’re all interesting. I’ve found so much information on coffee I may be forced to increase the number of Coffee Trivia postings to four or five.
- Flavored coffees are created after the roasting process by applying flavored oils specially created to use on coffee beans.
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Frederick the great had his coffee made with champagne and a bit of mustard.
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Hard Bean means the coffee was grown at an altitude above 5000 feet.
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Hawaii is the only state of the United States in which coffee is commercially grown. Hawaii features an annual Kona Festival, coffee picking contest. Each year the winner becomes a state celebrity. In Hawaii coffee is harvested between November and April.
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The Nicaraguan Margogpipe is the largest of all coffee beans.
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It takes 40 coffee beans to make an espresso.
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One coffee tree yields less than half a kilo of coffee per year.
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A coffee tree lives for between 60 and 70 years.
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By 1850, the manual coffee grinder found its way to most upper middle class kitchens of the U.S.
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Coffee is the second most traded commodity in the world (oil is the first.)
“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.” ― Dave Barry
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Brazil produces around 40% of the world’s coffee supply.
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A Belgian named George Washington invented instant coffee in 1906.
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Coffee has been used as a beverage for over 700 years.
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Coffee as a medicine reached its highest and lowest point in the 1600’s in England. Wild medical contraptions to administer a mixture of coffee and an assortment of heated butter, honey, and oil, became treatments for the sick. Soon tea replaced coffee as the national beverage.
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Coffee beans are similar to grapes that produce wine in that they are affected by the temperature, soil conditions, altitude, rainfall, drainage and degree of ripeness when picked.
“There are three intolerable things in life – cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women…” ― Orson Welles
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Brewed espresso has 2.5% fat, while filtered coffee contains 0.6% fat.
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Johan Sebastian Bach wrote an opera about a woman who was addicted to coffee.
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There is a way to brew coffee with marijuana in it and it is described as producing a “dreamy” kind of coffee buzz.
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More than 20 million people worldwide, work in the coffee industry.
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There are two species of coffee plant: Arabica and Robusta.
MORE TO COME
“Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and as sweet as love.” Turkish Proverb
Let’s talk about coffee. It’s the only major addiction I have left and I cherish it. When I stopped smoking twenty-eight years ago it was coffee that helped me through all those terrible days without nicotine. That and Tootsie Pops of course. I don’t know for sure how many Tootsie Pops are in a pound but I gained thirty-five pounds eating them over the course of five months. Coffee helped to keep me going until I was free of the damn nicotine and then the Tootsie Pops. Unfortunately by the time that was all over I was also addicted to the coffee as well. I replaced one killer addiction with a much milder version and was happy as hell about it.
My second major addiction was alcohol. I never drank enough to join that infamous club of alcoholics but I drank my share. Now at this stage of my life I’ve given up up drinking almost completely. Coffee again has been there to help replace the stimulation I received from alcohol with a much milder version.
My third big addiction was eating. Not the food itself but the eating of the food. I’ve been a nervous eater for most of my life and once my metabolism slowed it became a problem. With each passing year it became more of an issue but I waged a good battle to maintain my weight. My good buddy “Coffee” again came to my rescue and for that I’m grateful.
I decided to take a closer look at coffee and to learn as much as I could in the context of this blog.. Today will be Coffee Trivia Day. I’m celebrating my last great addiction that has made it possible for me to defeat three others. Here is a list of twenty trivia tidbits, the first of three Coffee Trivia planned postings.
“A 41-inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee – a lot more.” ~Jayne Mansfield
- Until the 18th century coffee was almost always boiled.
- Until the late 1800’s, people roasted their coffee at home. Popcorn poppers and stove-top frying pans were favored.
- When a coffee seed is planted, it takes five years to yield consumable fruit.
- William Penn purchased a pound of coffee in New York in 1683 for $4.68.
- Hawaii is the only state that commercially grows coffee.
- In the ancient Arab culture there was only one way a woman could legally divorce: If her husband didn’t provide enough coffee.
- 52% of Americans drink coffee.
- A acre of coffee trees can produce up to 10,000 pounds of coffee cherries. That amounts to approximately 2000 pounds of beans after hulling or milling.
- A scientific report form the University of California found that the steam rising from a cup of coffee contains the same amounts of antioxidants as three oranges. The antioxidants are heterocyclic compounds which prevents cancer and heart disease.
- Adding sugar to coffee is believed to have started in 1715, in the court of King Louis XIV, the French monarch.
- Advertisements for coffee in London in 1657 claimed that the beverage was a cure for scurvy, gout and other ills.
“Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.” ~Author Unknown
- Espresso Coffee has just one third of the caffeine content of ordinary coffee.
- Coffee beans are really berries. Each berry contains two beans (pips).
- An expert in preparing Turkish coffee is known as a “kahveci”.
- Irish coffee was actually invented to warm up cold American plane passengers leaving from Ireland.
- And lastly, Teddy Roosevelt is and was the greatest American coffee drinker, consuming a gallon a day. But you probably shouldn’t attempt to do that.
- An Arabica coffee tree can produce up to 12 pounds of coffee a year, depending on soil and climate.
- Australians consume 60% more coffee than tea, a six-fold increase since 1940.
- Caffeine is on the International Olympic Committee list of prohibited substances. Athletes who test positive for more than 12 micrograms of caffeine per milliliter of urine may be banned from the Olympic Games. This level may be reached after drinking about 5 cups of coffee.
- Citrus has been added to coffee for several hundred years.
“Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.” ~Star Trek: Voyager
MORE TO COME
I’m sitting here this morning trying to decide whether leaving this warm bed is the smartest thing to do. The weather remains problematic as always and I’m not in the mood to deal with it today. It’s been in the deep freeze here for two weeks and it isn’t expected to warm up anytime soon. The only thing I know for sure is that I can’t spend the next two months in this bed as much as I’d like to.
I’ve been trying to be as careful as possible with all of the snow and ice we’ve been having. Now that my broken leg is almost healed I’m deathly afraid of slipping or falling and ending up back in the hospital. I’m walking very softly these days.
The better-half stumbled out of bed early today for another shopping safari with her daughter. It was unplanned but she responded immediately to the telephone call, rolled out of bed and hit the ground running. Nothing is more important than spending a little quality time with her grandson and shopping at the same time. If she’s lucky she may be completely awake by the time they arrive to pick her up but she’s like a zombie right now.
I began a small construction project this week which has been on hold because of this cold weather. I plan on removing a large window in our living room and I need at least three hours of warmer weather to do it. It shouldn’t take too long to remove the window, replace the missing studs and insulation and then close up the hole. I can finish the rest from the inside of the house in just a few hours of drywalling and painting. I must be out of my mind doing this in February. Why I didn’t I do it in September is beyond me. I’ll just sit around for another week or two waiting for a few hours of temperatures above the freezing mark. Hurry up and wait.
I have a quiet day planned for today but it never seems to work out that way. I need to spend at least forty five minutes on the dreaded treadmill before I do anything else. It’s been a huge help in rehabilitating my leg. It still amazes me how much a limb can deteriorate in such a short period of time. Another week should have my injured leg back to it’s normal size. Rebuilding lost muscle tissue is difficult and time consuming but must be done as quickly as possible.
Since the better-half has four days off I thought I’d surprise her with a night on the town. I have a few ideas of places to visit with the Great Lost Bear heading the list. It’s the best place in the Portland area where she can feed her ever increasing addiction to smoking hot chicken wings. They specialize in XXX wings that are hot enough to set your hair on fire. The second possibility is The Strike Zone located in Old Orchard Beach and their specialty is deep fried everything. It’s a typically small sports bar where deep fried foods are the rule of the day. My weight loss program will be at serious risk if we go there but OMG the food is delicious.
It’s time to get motivated and moving. I love Winter.
I thought today I would address an issue that seems to have become an accepted illegal activity in parts of our society and other societies in the world. You see it almost every day on TV, in many movies, and in everyday life if you travel to Nevada and Las Vegas. It was also responsible for kick-starting the career of one of America’s most famous actresses, Julia Roberts. It’s known as the world’s oldest profession and I suppose I’d have to agree with that because I can’t prove otherwise. It’s just an excepted fact that almost anywhere at any time in history when you get more than a few human beings living together it’s quite possible one of them will be or will become a prostitute.
I’m about to lay a gang of statistics on you about prostitution in the United States and around the world. The numbers listed are estimated figures collected from open source documents published by security agencies, nongovernmental organizations, and media reports. Thank you so much Internet.
Say what you will, prostitution is big business. The worldwide prostitution revenues are estimated to be $186 billion per year and the number of prostitutes working worldwide is estimated to be near 13,265,900.
How many times in recent memory while watching a Olympic sporting event have you heard the chant, “We’re #1, We’re #1” or U S A, U S A. It may be true in sports but it certainly isn’t true in prostitution. Here are the top ten countries by number of estimated prostitutes. As in many things these days, China is leading the pack.
Number of Prostitutes
1. China 5,000,000
2. India 3,000,000
3. Russia 1,600,000
4. United States 1,000,000
5. Philippines 800,000
6. Mexico 500,000
7. Germany 400,000
8. Thailand 250,000
9. Brazil 250,000 children
10. Bangladesh 200,000
And then there’s poor Ireland:
29. Ireland 1,000
It just goes to prove that the United States is losing market share in everything including the sale of sex. Now I’ll list for you the estimated prices for prostitution services in these great United States of ours. I’ve listed poor Bangladesh only because as far as I can determine from the statistics I reviewed that it’s the cheapest place in the world to get laid.
United States Prostitution Price Sheet
$50 to $100 for street prostitute (National Averages)
High-End Escort in Indianapolis: $500 per hour
High-End Escort in NYC: $10,000 a night
Legal Brothel in Nevada: $200 to $600
Massage Parlor: $200 to $400 for oral sex and intercourse
Massage Parlor Worker Earnings: $8,000 to $10,000
Minnesota: $60 for oral sex with minor
Pennsylvania Earnings: $2,000 a week
Portland, OR: $130
Prison Guards: $150 charged by female guards
Santa Ana, CA: Under $100 per act
Silicon Valley: $350 to $500 per hour
Underage Girls: $40 to $100 for 15 to 30 minutes of sex
Washington, DC: $200 an hour
And once again poor little Bangladesh bringing up the rear (no pun intended).
Bangladesh: $0.60
My next statistic includes the top 10 countries in the world by the estimated revenues collected by their prostitutes. It’s no big surprise the Chinese are again the world leader. The United States has dropped to fifth-place in this category behind our former WW II enemies, Germany and Japan. I’m not sure whether that’s relevant but I’m putting it out there.
Revenues in U.S. Dollars
China $73 Billion
Spain $26.5 Billion
Japan $24 Billion
Germany $18 Billion (Legal Industry)
United States $14.6 Billion
South Korea $12 Billion
India $8.4 Billion
Thailand $6.4 Billion
Philippines $6 Billion
Switzerland $4.4 Billion (Legal Industry)
You regular readers of this blog know I’ve spent many hours compiling lists of totally useless information for your review. Today I’ll be supplying you with totally useless information but only about prostitution and prostitutes. Some of these facts are interesting and some are not but here they are anyway.
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70% of female inmates in American prisons were initially arrested for prostitution.
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Over 1 million people in the US have worked as prostitutes.
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77.8% of prostitution arrests are women, 22.2% men.
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85-90% of those arrested are street prostitutes, who account for only 20% of prostitutes
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Only 3-5% of STDs are prostitution-related.
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80% of prostitutes have been sexually assaulted, some raped as many as 8-10 time annually.
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59% of prostitutes have thought of committing suicide, compared to 61% of non-prostitutes.
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In a study in London, England 50% of clients were married, or cohabiting.
Male prostitutes sometimes report that their clients include married men who identify as heterosexual.
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Street prostitution accounts for between 10 to 20% of the prostitution in larger cities such as Los Angeles, San Francisco and New York.
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The average age of entry into prostitution is 13 years of age.
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52% of the women stated that pornography played a significant role in teaching them what was expected of them as prostitutes.
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A Canadian Report on Prostitution and Pornography concluded that girls and women in prostitution have a mortality rate 40 times higher than the national average.
I suppose you’ve noticed by now that I’ve not mentioned any of my own personal involvement with prostitutes or prostitution. While it’s really no one’s business but my own, I’m not the least bit embarrassed to admit I’ve on occasion paid my own way. It was many years ago in a faraway land and it was a “Right of Passage” for some of us servicemen. Of course after looking at today’s prices I’d be forced to travel to Bangladesh to be able to afford it. Don’t forget, I’m on a fixed retirement income and I’m forced to watch every penny but even I could afford $ .60.
In the past I’ve been known to take a few potshots at politicians, both local and federal. I don’t ever intend to stop doing that but in all fairness I thought I’d quote a few presidents of both parties to show all of you that stupidity and wiseassiness is endemic to both.
I think it’s fairly obvious in this day and age that the office of the presidency has lost some of it’s sparkle. We no longer assume that any president has all the answers or in some cases has any answers. They’re just regular people who were for some reason elected into an extremely important office and they spend most of their time trying not look stupid. Unfortunately for us the majority of the time they’re not very successful.
I’m listing these quotations in no particular order. I think it’s only fair that I leave the Presidents speak for themselves so you can make your own judgments.
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“Even though most people agree… I’m presenting a fair deal, the fact that they don’t take it means that I should somehow do a Jedi mind-meld with these folks and convince them to do what’s right.” —President Obama, mixing up Star Wars and Star Trek references while discussing working with Republicans in Congress (March 1, 2013)
”I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes.” —Richard Nixon
‘‘Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”—President George W. Bush, Sept. 6, 2004
”Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.” —Lyndon Johnson
“Some years ago I became president of Columbia University and learned within 24 hours to be ready to speak at the drop of a hat, and I learned something more, the trustees were expected to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
”I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.” —President John Kennedy, at a dinner honoring Nobel Prize winners of the Western Hemisphere, the White House, April 29, 1962
‘‘Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.” —Ronald Reagan
”If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: ‘President Can’t Swim.” —Lyndon Johnson
”If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it’s possible that I’m a little too awesome.” —Barack Obama, at the 2008 Al Smith Dinner
”My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.” —President Jimmy Carter
”Being president is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening.” —Bill Clinton
”He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met.” —Abraham Lincoln, referring to a lawyer
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I don’t see anything all that impressive in this posting which doesn’t surprise me in the least. Presidents are just as silly and stupid as the rest of us except they dress better and have a nicer place to live. Hopefully “We the People” will never take them as seriously as they seem to take themselves, that could be a serious mistake.
It’s a terrible thing to be bored. It’s doubly terrible when you’re in Maine and it’s Winter. It feels like being up in the air on the “Vomit Comet” flying very high, then diving straight down, and then pulling back up again to what is supposed to be normal. That weightlessness between dives in my mind is the ultimate boredom. You’re just floating around in a pointless manner, accomplishing nothing, and feeling even worse.
Maybe if you were like me and had a fifty year love affair with adrenaline, the ultimate aphrodisiac, it would help you to understand a little. Hang gliding, sky diving, bungee jumping, and smashing down doors to apprehend criminals or mental patients can in no way be considered boring. Defying death or serious injury was never the point for me. The point was experiencing the dangers and not giving a shit what happened. Putting your entire existence into the hands of fate and doing so with no regrets. Most people never get to that point and don’t really want to, unless they can feel the adrenaline rush without committing to the danger.
So you have your regular run-of-the-mill boredom and then there’s the adrenaline-free boredom which is even worse. I’m drifting through life living vicariously through my own past experiences to help keep my head above water. Unfortunately once you reach a certain age with all of the physical limitations that come with it, your choices become strictly limited. Writing a blog, painting a picture, sculpting, sketching, remodeling a home or even walking in the woods are a just a stupid laundry list of poor substitutes.
I actually attempted for a while to live vicariously through others but OMG what a mistake. Many of the people in my sphere of influence, not all of course, put me into a deathlike comma. They’re lives have taken boredom to new heights and they don’t know the difference since they have nothing to compare it to. I may sound a little harsh in my criticisms but so what.
So I’ll start another day writing this blog, walking a couple of miles on my treadmill, reading a book, watching some TV, petting my cat, and then walking outside and screaming at the top of my effing lungs. Now don’t you feel a hundred percent better about your life? You should.
Here are a few boring things from my list of thousands.
- Celebrity Worship
- Baseball (Except for Little League)
- Soccer (I don’t consider it a real sport.)
- Politics and Politicians (Pundits and Talk Shows too)
- Sermons (Religious or Otherwise)
- Musicals
- Shopping War Stories
- Vampires
- Werewolves
- “Wives of” (From any City. State, Country, or Planet)
- Sports
- Country Music
- Waiting Rooms
- Commercials of Any Kind
- Soap Operas
Well the weekend has passed without much of interest to talk about. I have to tell you though that taking Sundays off from my life is something I recommend highly for anyone to try. No exercising, no blogging and no dieting. As always I remind you that Sunday as a day of rest for me is not a religious leftover from my childhood. It just happens to fit into my strangely scheduled current lifestyle.
We had another eight inches of snow through the night which meant I was to spend at least a half hour with my favorite motorized friend, the snowblower. The snow was wet and heavy and a real pain in the ass to deal with. I did it quickly so my better-half could access the outside world and then I returned to my day-off. I snapped a few pictures around the house of this storm because the snow was sticking to everything and made for some interesting photos.
The weather has warmed a little which brings out the visiting birds in large numbers. We feed them regularly but in frigid weather they become scarce. Since we live in a forested area we have three or four generations of woodpeckers that stay with us all winter. We place suet out for them because they’re the most successful in pecking it apart when it’s frozen.
They’ve been flying in and out in shifts so often they’re averaging one suet container a week. It apparently keeps them healthy and makes living through the winter months a little easier.
I then decided to leave the warm bosom of my house to explore the neighboring area for a few photo’s of the snow scenes. Here are three that should give you a better idea about what Maine is like in winter.
It’s now Monday morning and I’m back on the treadmill for a mile or two of good heath and exhaustion. The better-half’s loving the new slimmer me but I think it’s just her way of motivating me a little more. Either way it’s a win/win.
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