Is there anyone out there who doesn’t think the media is a problem these days? I do miss the days of reading newspapers because there were so many inaccuracies and misstatements, it was fun just to search them out and have a laugh or two. Now if we want to read a newspaper you got to go online and sign up for their website, fill out a form with all of your information, and agree to accept all the crappy spam they decide to send you. Then they can and will sell your information to damn near anyone. In the past I’ve made a lot of fun of the written media only because there’s so much information out there that’s worth a laugh or three. Apparently, the worst job you can have in written media is being an editor. It’s also apparent from the information I’ve been reading that if they have editors, they aren’t all that bright. Here’s a short selection of headlines from newspapers and I cannot believe any alleged editors were doing their job. Here we go . . .
Statistics Show That Mortality Increases Perceptively in the Military During Wartime What editor in his right mind let this one slip through?
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter Unbelievable!!!
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted We live in a time of geniuses.
NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach I wonder if he’s required to wear a robe for that.
Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One There some good dating advice . . . NOT!
Eye Drops Off Shelf OMG!
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly It May Last a While Another Rhodes scholar.
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency Thanks to the tobacco lobby for this one.
Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier than Clean Ones, Study Shows Another genius observation.
Fish Lurk in Streams This might be great for a Bass Pro Shop logo.
Seventy percent of Swedish women claim to have participated in a threesome.
Every year more than 11,000 Americans hurt themselves trying out bizarre sexual positions.
The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.
Forty-six percent of women say a good night’s sleep is better than sex.
Elvis Presley called his penis “Little Elvis.”
The sperm count of American men is down thirty percent from thirty years ago.
Americans spend more money each year at strip clubs than that all the theaters and classical concert halls in the country combined.
In ancient Greece and Rome dildos were made out of animal horns, ivory, gold, silver, and even glass.
Only thirty-one percent of men admit to looking at other women when in the company of their spouse or girlfriend. Their partners say the figure is actually closer to sixty-four percent.
In ancient Rome, men found guilty of rape had their testicles crushed between two stones as a punishment.
And here’s one of my all-time favorite sexual facts: Four popes have died while participating in sexual acts.
I love posting interesting information and when possible, I back up those facts with quotes from a variety of people with incredible life stories. I’ve noticed over the years that the great majority of published interesting quotes are primarily made by men. I also discovered quite by accident a small paperback book published in 2000 called Womens Wit and Wisdom. I haven’t been as surprised and pleased as I was as I began reading that book. I’ll share with you a number of quotes from well-known women which are both incredible and hilarious. This book contains quite a diverse group of quotes covering any number of topics from politics, humor, to life lessons. This little book will be placed in a position of honor in my unusual collection of writings.
“My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my deprivation.” Helen Keller
“The loneliest woman in the world is a woman without a close woman friend.” Toni Morrison
“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once your aboard there’s nothing you can do.” Golda Meir
“I was thirty-seven when I went to work writing the column. I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security, and too tired for an affair.” Erma Bombeck
👩🏻🦰👩🏻👱🏻♀️
“The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie.” Ann Landers
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.” Totie Fields
“My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.” Indira Gandhi
“Please know that I am aware of the hazards. I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.” Amelia Earhart
I occasionally make good-natured fun of women. Admittedly they can be funny as hell but it’s more of an excuse for me to irritate my better-half. Guess what? It works every time. She never fails to try and even the score in any number of ways but even then, I find her attempts at humor even funnier. Today’s post contains a lot of one-liners that will make most of my women readers smile and possibly giggle. The guys may cringe a little and call me an ass but IDC. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re beyond help anyway.
What is a man’s idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
Why do men name their penises? Because they don’t like the idea of a stranger making ninety percent of their decisions.
What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don’t fit right in the crotch.
Why are men like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is coming.
Why do only 10% of men go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.
TEN THINGS MAN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
1. They have pussies.
2 – 9 ???
10. They have breasts too.
What’s the difference between a penis and a prick? A penis is fun, sexy and satisfying. A prick is the guy who owns it.
What is the one thing that keeps most men out of college? High school.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Because breasts don’t have eyes.
How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, men will screw anything.
What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game.
It seems that almost everyone is obsessed with their body image and that’s understandable considering the wide range of odd, shaped bodies we see every day. Even though there are so many variations, the functions and organs of the body are all too similar. Here are a few trivia facts about our bodies. They can be a thing of beauty or not and they can be a bit disgusting or not. Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.
Did you know that approximately 1 in every 18 men have a third nipple. People who have the condition will sometimes suffer from atelophobia, the fear of being imperfect. Celebrities Tilda Swinton, Carrie Underwood, Lily Allen, and Mark Wahlberg have third nipples. Mark Wahlberg’s third nipple was airbrushed out of his famous Calvin Klein underwear ad.
If you have a fear of facial hair, you could be suffering from pogonophobia. In ancient times beards were a sign of strength and wisdom and were only cut or sheared off as punishment or if someone was in mourning.
Were you aware that your left lung is slightly smaller than your right. It’s to allow room for your heart.
Did you know that women need more sleep at night than men. Women need an extra hour of sleep but sometimes don’t get it. Not getting that extra hour is believed to be one reason why women are more susceptible to depression than men.
My cat’s hairballs creep me out. I discovered recently that human beings can also have hairballs and they’re even more disgusting than the cats. The largest human hairball ever removed from the body measured 15 inches in diameter and weighed 10 pounds. The patient also happened to suffer from a condition called trichophagia (the eating of one’s own hair).
The heart is life. Over the course of a lifetime the human heart beats 3 billion times. Your heartbeat mimics the music you listen to and can trigger physiological changes that increase or decrease your blood pressure. The heart is a massive blood pump circulating blood through an average body every 23 seconds or approximately 4000 gallons of blood each day.
How is your memory? Can you remember all of the nursery rhymes from your childhood? Most of them were kind of lame and luckily after a long period of time they’re lost from memory. Today I’ll supply you with three 21st century versions of some of the old rhymes that you can carry around in your memory banks for a decade or two. I actually enjoy these rhymes way more than all of those old and tired ones from my childhood.
I’ve always thought of myself as quite the romantic but unfortunately there weren’t many women who agreed. All you really can do is accept your failings and keep on trying. I admit that after hearing ‘you’re not very romantic” a dozen or more times I finally got the message. Unfortunately, I never seemed to get it right and after discussions with other men I discovered it was quite possible that I wasn’t the entire problem. I continued to stumble along like a kid in a candy store with no pennies in his pocket. These limericks are for all of those ladies (and I use the term loosely) that didn’t appreciate my hundreds of romantic moves. These beautiful poems are a little dated, but they all have important information concerning men and women involved in “Little Romances”.
I love trivia that is unusual and odd. So today I’ll list a few items from one of the top three areas most requested from readers? SEX as always leads the list so for today, I’ll just eliminate FOOD & LIMERICKS. Here’s everything you need to know about SEX (LOL).
A recent survey revealed that 25% of Swedish women have had sex with more than 50 men.
The average sexually active woman has sex 83 times per year.
Sex burns off 360 calories an hour.
The heart beats faster during a brisk walk or a good argument then it does during sexual intercourse.
America’s first manufactured condoms appeared in 1870 and were made of vulcanized rubber. They were thick, insensitive, and intended to be reused.
Men are four times more likely to sleep in the nude than women.
One in every 300 births in the United States occurs in a vehicle.
11% of women and 5% of men claimed never to have masturbated.
Being retired has had one advantage I never bargained on and that was “streaming”. I retired in 2008 and “streaming” hadn’t really come into its own just yet. Today I’m even more hooked on television than ever before due in part to another new term of the 21st century, “bingeing.” I’ve watched hundreds of newly produced shows from Netflix and others as well as thousands of the old shows. I rediscovered just how much I truly disliked most of them back in the day. I’ve now gotten to the point where I’ve seen all I want to see of most of the more familiar streaming services and watching all those old shows is just pure torture. I really don’t need to see a once young, buxom and sexy Suzanne Somers romping around or reruns of All in the Family. The attraction there is still watching Sally Struthers strutting her stuff before a few of her things (two in particular) had begun to sag. I’ve been spending more and more of my time reading my Kindle or rummaging through my library to read actual books. I decided today’s trivia facts about the Cinema were more than a little appropriate for all you cinephiles out there.
What was the name of the mechanical shark in the 1975 smash hit Jaws? Bruce
Robert Redford was paid $6 million for his role in the 1985 film Out of Africa. How much was leading lady Meryl Streep paid? She received $3 million.
At an MGM option in 1970, two items went for the top price of $1500. One was the full-size boat used in the musical Showboat. What was the other? Judy Garland’s size 4 1/2 red shoes from the Wizard of Oz.
Who coined the phrase “cameo role” to describe the appearance of a top movie star in a bit part? Showmen Mike Todd, when he produced the Oscar-winning Around the World in 80 days in 1955.
OMG – YUM!!
What two tough guy actors turned down the role of the avenging “Man with No Name” in Sergio Leone’s spaghetti western A Fistful of Dollars before Clint Eastwood was offered the part? James Coburn and Charles Bronson. Henry Fonda was the first choice, but he was too expensive.
In 1980, who were the Top 10 box office stars in Hollywood, according to the nation’s film exhibitor? From 1 to 10: Bert Reynolds, Robert Redford, Clint Eastwood, Jane Fonda, Dustin Hoffman, John Travolta, Sally Field, Sissy Spacek, Barbra Streisand and Steve Martin.
Why was popcorn not permitted in most movie theaters in the 1920’s? It was deemed to be too noisy.
How old was actor Jeff Bridges when he made his screen debut? Four months. He appeared as a crying baby in the 1950’s film The Company She Keeps.
It’s time for some limerick history. As you may be aware I collect limericks from all sorts of sources. Recently I purchased a few small used books from an online thrift bookstore. Buying books in bulk is always a risk but sometimes it pays off with pleasant surprises. Today’s limericks were published in a small inconsequential book of just sixty pages in 1960. It’s been 64 years since then and many of the limericks in the book were collected from even older sources. They are officially titled “Laundered Limericks” meaning many were cleaned of obscenities to get them printed but still contain some vulgarities. I’d probably rate some of these as PG but that’s for you readers to decide.
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