Most Americans are raised get an education, get a job, make money, and then make more money. There’s nothing like starting your work life in your early twenties with a huge student loan debt that will take you years to pay off. Money seems to be the driving force in this country and the pursuit of it is all consuming. In reality, it’s the same almost everywhere else as well. I think a lot of that make-money mindset was passed down through the Great Depression generation like my parents who were concerned with little else. It’s not a bad thing to chase money but how you go about is even more important. Make as much money as you can but try just as hard not to harm or destroy others in the process.
Today’s post involves a short history of money.
At the age of 12, Andrew Carnegie worked as a millhand for $1.20 a week. A half-century later, he sold his steel company for nearly $500 million.
Not a single bank existed anywhere in the 13 colonies before the American Revolution. Anyone needing money had to borrow from an individual.
Although he is famous for inventing the cotton gin, in 1793, Eli Whitney made no money from his invention because he did not have a valid patent on it.
Henry Ford shocked his fellow capitalists by more than doubling the daily wage of most of his workers in 1914, 11 years after he had established his first automobile factory. He knew what he was doing. The buying power of his workers was increased, and their raised consumption stimulated buying elsewhere. Ford called it the “wage motive.”
Paul Revere, the American silversmith and patriot, designed paper money for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, which issued the money in defiance of English law even before independence was declared. The notes were handsome but soon depreciated. Some of them subsequently were used as wallpaper in barbershops.
When Jacob A. Riis published his classic book How the Other Half Lives, in 1890, the fortunes of about 1% of the US population totaled more than the possessions of the remaining 99%. The pattern hasn’t changed all that much. Today, the fortunes of about 8% of the US population total more than the possessions of the remaining 92%.
We hear all of the economy experts constantly raising fears about rising inflation. Here is why!At the height of inflation in Germany in the early 1920s, one American dollar was the equal of 4.2 trillion German marks.
“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
George Orwell
I’ve been a science-fiction fan for more years than I care to remember. It started when I was a child of about four and my mother painted the walls of my bedroom with planets and rocket ships. It was the days of Sputnick and the “space race”. That was the beginning of my interest in space travel just like every other kid in the country at that time. You need to understand what I mean by an interest in space travel. I’d love nothing better than see an alien craft land at the White House (and take Joe Biden for a much-deserved joy ride), but I’ve lived long enough and gotten smart enough to become something of a UFO non-believer. Since the first human beings that saw fireflies and thought they were demons or angels, everything is either an alien, UFO, a spiritual mystery, or an omen of the end of the world as we know it.
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“To see what is in front of one’s nose requires a constant struggle.”
George Orwell
People can be stupid and ignorant about many things and the internet media supplies video after video of BS stories that to any reasonably normal person are obvious fakes. I’d rather deal in facts.
Fact #1 – The Government supplies former military officers, former NASA employees, and a host of so-called scientific experts to the media and internet. It is their job to help use the subject of UFOs to distract the nation and the world from what they may be doing covertly. When you control all media, you control everything and the saying “Knowledge is Power” has never been closer to the truth. Mind games are the heart and soul of a government slowing eroding the rights of its citizens (President Eisenhower warned us about that) and that’s our new reality.
Fact #2 – ET’s if they even exist puzzle me. How can advanced beings keep crashing their ships all over the planet. I swear every effing country claims an alien craft crash site and a few even claim to have recovered alien vehicles. It doesn’t seem likely to me that such intelligent beings who are so more advanced than we are can’t seem to safely fly a UFO in our atmosphere. I’ll believe it when they land in my back yard and tell me something or anything that I haven’t already heard on the internet.
” Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.”
George Orwell
I’m also tired of hearing about the Egyptians and those stupid pyramids, tall skeletons, huge magical blocks of stone, treasures dug up in every back yard in American, and how every discovery about everything is all about every organized religion claiming it’s a sign from their god. How many people and governments have made billions of dollars by misleading billions of idiots. Unfortunately, a large percentage of the citizens worldwide will believe anything they’re told, no questions asked. Everything is always some sort of conspiracy, and we can rely on social media to spread it around the world, constantly repeating both the lies and the occasional truths ad infinitum.
Are you happy? Living in the 21st century can be confusing at times and utterly ridiculous almost always. I can’t even wrap my head around how people are raising children these days. It’s when my frustration gets to be too much, I revert to other times that were also screwy but not near as strange as right now. The following humor was based entirely on the 1980’s so bear that in mind as you read them. Everything is always about context. Hop on the time travel train for a few minutes and enjoy 1984. Orwell didn’t have a clue.
When should you stop fucking your girlfriend doggie style? When you catch her chasing cars.
What’s the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? A pickpocket snatches watches.
What’s the difference between mono and herpes? You get mono from snatching a kiss.
What do you find at the bottom of girls’ undies? Clitty litter.
What’s the difference between a fox and a pig? About six beers.
What’s a box spring? An I. U. D.
Why did the stupid girl think there was something wrong with her birth control pills? They kept falling out.
Why was 6 mad at 7? Because 7-8-9
What’s Helen Keller’s favorite color? Corduroy
Who are the three most famous Chinese virgins? “Tu Yung Tu”, Tu Dum Tu”, and “No Yen Tu.
Why don’t chickens wear underwear? Because they would look fucking stupid.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a hooker with diarrhea? An epileptic corn husker shucks between fits.
I’m feeling somewhat indifferent today. I got up early, had a cup of really godawful coffee which is not a good way to start any day. My lack of interest was exacerbated by the few things I had to accomplish. For those of you that don’t know I drive a 2008 Smart car. It’s a small vehicle on a good day but it’s the only delivery vehicle I have. Here in Maine, we recycle bottles and cans and today was the day for me to cash in all those nickels. I checked my garage and to my surprise I had 7 large bags containing 420 bottles and cans. I then loaded up my Smart car with all seven bags. Every window in the car except for the windshield was partially blocked. I managed to fit everything into the car leaving just enough room for my oversized ass. I had to travel approximately ten miles to the redemption center, and I looked ridiculous. It’s hard to look inconspicuous when you’re driving what appears to be a giant garbage bag with headlights and a windshield. Apparently, the police officer who then stopped me thought it was hysterically funny as well. There were no citations issued but we both had a few laughs about the situation. I hadn’t broken any laws, had all of the required mirrors, and he sent me on my way by standing on the berm and laughing his ass off. Just so you know I cashed in the bottles and cans and then walked next door to the liquor store. I’ll be opening that bottle of gin later because this day has got to get better. Only limericks can raise my spirits and get my day back on track. Here’s two . . .
My formative years back in the day made it possible for many people in my family and others to call me a smartass. At the time I was a little insulted by the name calling but I soon discovered something very important. A properly educated elementary school smartass is just a hairs breath away from being a well-spoken adult sarcastic SOB. It takes many years of study to finally earn your wings as a lover of sarcasm but it’s well worth it. Sarcasm has served me well for decades and I have no regrets. I actually have books in my wonderful library that helped me to fine tune my skills as a glib wiseass. I’m going to give you a few samples of sarcasm which might also offer help to those sarcasm-deniers who need a little education. I’m also told that there are people out there who claim to not understand or recognize sarcasm and they have my deepest sympathies. I truthfully believe these people are in a serious state of denial and really have a badly developed sense of humor. Let’s get busy . . .
HAT
A hat is a simple protective covering that God never meant to feature mouse ears, antlers, or an opportunity to drink two beers simultaneously from a single plastic hose.
HATE
Hate is a strong, intense dislike or feeling of animosity. It is therefore the opposite of love, although if you are patient, you’ll get to the hate eventually.
HEART BROKEN
This is a state of overwhelming sadness: most commonly experienced by adolescents who do not yet have the emotional distance to grasp just how many more times they are going to get screwed over like this by the time they’re twenty-five.
FLOWERS
Flowers are a hollow gesture of apology made all the more hollow by the fact that you ordered them online.
GIVING THE FINGER
It’s something you give to another human being when you cannot find the right words to say exactly how much their very existence is so deeply impacted your life.
BEING FEMININE
This is a characteristic of women. Called to mind by such items as potpourri, fine lace, toilet paper cozies, and the ability to stick the knife in you just when you’re at your most vulnerable, sometimes even in front of your damn friends.
These are just simple examples of sarcasm which are totally harmless. To most people these are just humorous statements not taken all that seriously except by a few people dealing with serious issues of insecurity and self-esteem. Most of the time sarcasm is just plain funny if you let it be and if you don’t that’s your loss.
“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” – Will Rogers
Sean Connery once polished coffins for cash.
There are 27 moons orbiting Uranus. (pun intended)
More than 29 years after the Japanese surrendered in World War II, Lt. Onoda Hiro was discovered in the Philippines. He refused to surrender until he was ordered to do so by his commanding officer.
In Sri Lanka, nonverbal signals for agreement are reversed from those in Western countries. Nodding your head means “no” and shaking your head from side-to-side means “yes.”
A person can’t be a sumo wrestler in Japan unless he weighs more than 154 pounds and is taller than five feet seven inches.
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“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” – Winston Churchill
President. James Garfield was shot by an assassin in 1881. Six doctors attempted to treat the wounded president, but several probed the wound with their bare fingers, introducing a fatal infection into his body.
Lloyds of London Paid out $3,019,400 in insurance claims to the families of the victims who perished in the Titanic disaster.
Ermal Fraze invented the pop-top aluminum can in 1963, he received U.S. patent number 3,349,949 for the design.
Approximately 75% of what we think we taste is actually coming from our sense of smell.
Couples married in the first three months of the year tend to have higher divorce rates than those married in the later months.
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“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.” – Lao Tzu
Well, welcome to Friday people. Another gloriously gray rainy and crappy day here in Maine. It makes for a really boring day if you can’t leave the house, but I do have plenty of things to break the monotony. Today that will include a few funny and moderately dirty jokes. I know how much all of you seem to enjoy them almost as much as I do. Have a few laughs and then drop to your knees and loudly pray for some effing sunshine.
Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
A. Goes-in-tight!
One rainy night a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped out of the alley, jumped in the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rearview mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet naked woman sitting in the backseat. “Where to?” he stammered. “Central Station,” answered the woman. “OK,” he said, taking another long glance in the mirror. The woman caught him staring at her and asked, “Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?” “Well, ma’am, I notice that you are completely naked, and I was just wondering how you’ll pay your fare.” The woman spreads her legs, put your feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said, ” Does THIS answer your question?” Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie calmly asked, “Got anything smaller?”
A doctor who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills. “Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are birth control pills?” “Yes, they help me sleep at night.” “Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in those pills that could help you sleep!” She reached out and patted the young doctors’ knee. “Yes, I know that. But every morning I grind up one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 18-year-old granddaughter drinks. And believe me, it helps me sleep at night.”
Q. What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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One of My Favorite Sayings:
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room.”
I thought since it’s another gray, wet, and crappy day I’d get lazy and throw a collection of useless information your way. There’s no rhyme or reason just a whole lot of nonsensical facts.
Odd Newpaper Headlines
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Ridiculous Newspaper Classified Ads
For Sale: Two wire-mesh butchering gloves, one 5 finger, one 3 finger, pair $15.00.
After my raucous celebration of Earth Day, I thought a little humor would improve my morning. It’s only right that if I’m having a good morning, I should pass along some of that goodness to you. Here’s a short joke to start things off.
Q. What are the three words men hate to hear during sex? “Are you done?”
Q. What are the three words women hate to hear during sex? “Honey, I’m home.”
I thoroughly enjoyed this joke which made me laugh out loud when I read it. Who doesn’t love sheep?
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A new farmer buys several sheep hoping to breed them. After several weeks he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant and calls a local vet for some help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn’t have the slightest idea what that means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into the back of his truck, drives them out into the woods, screws them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
In the morning, he wakes up and looks out at the sheep. Seeing as they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn’t take and again loads them into the truck. He drives them out to the woods, screws each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back home and goes to bed.
The next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still standing around. Out of frustration he again proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day sheep screwing, and upon returning home falls totally exhausted into bed.
Morning arrives and he can’t even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if any of the sheep are lying in the grass.
“No”, she says, “they’re all in the truck and one of them is beeping the horn.”
When I started this blog many years ago it took me a while to come up with a proper name. Once the decision was made to call it “every useless thing” I was hooked into providing as many weird and unusual facts as I could find. I’ve created a rather large library of totally useless information and it’s my pride and joy. If I’ve calculated properly, I have enough facts and trivia to continue this blog for 10 more years and never repeat the same item twice. I get to find them and post them, and unfortunately you get to read them. Here we go . . .
Reese Witherspoon has two pet donkeys.
Keanu Reeves was born in Lebanon.
The iconic mask used in the 1978 horror film Halloween was a plastic Captain Kirk mask from Star Trek, spray-painted white and with its eyeholes enlarged.
The S. S. Minnow of Gilligan’s Island fame was named after former chairman of the FCC, Newton Minnow, who considered television to be a “vast wasteland.
The maiden name of Betty rubble from the Flintstones show was Betty Jean McBricker.
To complete the pair, the maiden name of Wilma Flintstone was Wilma Slaghoopel.
In the United States, the last year that somebody officially died of “old age” was 1951 That’s the last year “old age” was listed on death certificates. It’s now referred to as death by “natural causes.”
Robert Williams is the first known person to be killed by a robot. He worked at a Ford automobile factory and was struck in the head by a robot in 1979.
Amalie Auguste Melitta Benz was the un-famous inventor of the coffee filter.
The first mechanically sliced loaf of bread was sold under the famous Wonder Bread brand in 1930.
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