We are all human beings and supposedly we’re the primary predator on this planet, so far. Five years from now with the number of AI’s being created that may not be the case. Todays post will contain some of the more interesting facts about being human. Let’s see where you fit in.
The longest reported case of hiccups lasted for sixty-eight years (Mr.Charles Osboure).
The longest time somebody has kept one eye open without blinking was eight minutes and twenty-six seconds.
Red heads do not usually go gray.
You shed approximately forty thousand skin cells a minute.
Some tumors in your body can grow hair and teeth (A teratoma tumor).
The word “fart” is one of the oldest words in the English language.
People who swallow a lot of air fart a lot more than people who don’t.
The smell of a woman’s tears makes men feel less sexual aroused and reduces levels of testosterone.
Standing up to poop is healthier than sitting (less hemorrhoids and colonic obstructions).
People with blue eyes can can drink more before showing signs of drunkenness.
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BONUS FACT
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Did you know that “defecaloesiophobia” is the fear of having difficult bowel movements.
Let’s talk about the subjects most people immediately shy away from: Death & Serious Injuries. They are a part of our lives (at least at the end) but still a rather gruesome topic for discussion. For years I loved reading about the endless stupid deaths reported by the Darwin Awards and found them sad but still a little humorous at times. My goal in life was never to be mentioned in the Darwin Awards by dying in a stupid fashion. I realize that’s an odd thing to have on a bucket list but it’s still on mine. Here are a few trivia tidbits (both old and new) that might interest you on deaths and serious injuries.
Boating accidents claim an average of 700 lives each year.
Since 1924, 13 people have been killed in Pamplona, Spain’s annual “Running of the Bulls”.
From 1982 to 1997, cheerleading accounted for 57% of the catastrophic injuries and fatalities among young female athletes.
From 1973 to 1975 there were 81 known fatalities from hang-gliding,
In the United States, at least seven fatalities and numerous severe injuries have been reported among bungee jumpers using a hot air balloons as a platform.
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In 2007, 45 people were struck and killed by lightning in the United States, a quarter of them in or near water.
Each year about 50-70 confirmed shark attacks occur. 5-15 shark attack fatalities occur around the world.
There were 850 hunting accidents in this country in 2002, more than 10% of them were fatalities.
Once at the Middle Tennessee District Fair in Lawrenceburg, a 60-year-old woman was severely injured when she fell 30 feet from the top of Ferris wheel and landed on the spokes close to the center wheel axle.
Once a Washington, D.C. based study on the correlation between admissions to emergency rooms and outcomes from Washington Redskins football games showed that admissions of female victims of stabbings, gunshots, assaults, and other violence actually increases when the team wins.
I’m having a day of total confusion. The sun is shining brightly but the temperature remains in the forties. I desperately want to begin using the deck to relax and read a book but it’s hard when you’re wearing gloves and two layers of clothing. Now I’m back at the computer and deciding which limericks I’ll be using. There’s no theme to these limericks just five that tickled my fancy and I hope they do the same for you.
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There once was a son-of-bitch,
Neither clever, nor handsome, nor rich,
Yet the girls he would dazzle,
And screw to a frazzle,
And then ditch them, the son-of-bitch.
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There was a young girl from Berlin
Who was screwed by an elderly Finn,
Though he diddled his best,
And screwed her with zest,
She kept asking, “Hey, Pop, is it in?”
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There was a young man man from Dumfries
Who said to his girl, “If you please,
It would give me great bliss
If while playing with this,
You would pay some attention to these!”
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There was a young fellow named Goody
Who claimed that he wouldn’t, but would he?
If he found himself nude
With a gal in the mood,
The question’s not woody but could he?
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And here’s a favorite for those avid readers out there.
Having served three years in the Army changed many things about me. I was introduced to many new experiences that I hope never to repeat and I learned a lot about myself both good and bad. While I wasn’t involved in any massive world wars I got a taste of its reality by my visits to Korea and Vietnam. This post isn’t meant to be about me but about war itself. Todays post contains a few odd and strange facts from the most destructive war this country has ever faced, The American Civil War, which pitted brother against brother and families against families. The most widely cited figure is 618,222 total deaths, with 360,222 Union deaths and 258,000 Confederate deaths. The war’s toll was so severe that if the same percentage of the U.S. population had died today, it would be equivalent to 6 million deaths. Enjoy . . .
Of the future members of the United States Supreme Court who were of fighting age during the civil war, seven were in uniform. Four fought for the Union: Oliver Wendell Holmes, John M. Harlan, William B. Woods, and Stanley Matthews. Three fought for the Confederacy: Edward D. White, Horace H. Lurton, and Lucius Q.C. Lamar.
Union privates were paid only $16.00, but the gold value of their pay was more than seven times greater than that of the Confederates.
Slaves in Virginia could be hired for $30.00 a month in 1863 – yet the pay for an Army private was $11.00 a month. Confederates pay finally increased to $18.00 a month the next year.
Of the 546 nuns known to have served as battlefield nurses, 289 were from Ireland, 40 from Germany, and 12 from France.
Firing on both sides was so inaccurate that soldiers estimated it took a man’s weight in lead to kill a single enemy in battle. A Federal expert said that each Confederate who was shot required 240 pounds of powder and 900 pounds of lead.
A young Confederate officer, Captain S. Isadore Guillet, was fatally shot on the same horse on which three of his brothers had been previously killed. With his final wish he willed the horse to his nephew as he died.
Years before the war Jesse Grant, father of Ulysses, lived and worked in the home of Owen Brown, whose small son, played noisily about the frontier homestead,. That boy grew up to be John Brown, the Abolitionist martyr who lit the fuse of the war.
The Confederate General, Nathan Bedford Forrest, classed by some historians as the war’s most able cavalry commander, had twenty-nine horses shot from under him in the course of the war. He survived to be the founder of the Ku Klux Klan.
WAR IS TRULY HELL
(And as I also learned – Peacetime is a motherf**ker)
As a youngster I was easily impressed by just about everything. Being that impressionable had it’s pitfalls and Mae West was one of my first. She won me over with her outrageous sense of humor, her “I don’t give a shit” attitude, and that buxom body. I loved watching her short but outrageous appearances on TV and her movies with W.C. Fields were next level hysterical. She was also a well known comedian, singer, screenwriter, and playwright. She remained bawdy and outrageous well into her late eighties as she strutted her stuff and was always accompanied by two large muscular young men. She passed away on November 27, 1980 and the world lost a unique and exciting woman. Todays post is a short collection of some of her most colorful quotes and a few photos. I still miss the old girl.
“It’s not the men in your life that counts, it’s the the life in your men.”
“It’s better to be looked over than overlooked.”
“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”
“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.”
“When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”
“Good sex is like good bridge,. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
“Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.”
“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”
Many years ago I came upon a book of poetry titled MIRACLES compiled in 1966 containing poems from English speaking children from around the world. Any time I’m feeling down or depressed I return to the poetry in that book. The name of the authors and their age will be listed at the time the poetry was collected. With luck the authors are now in their forties and fifties and I hope they’ve continued with their poetry writing. They’ll never know how much pleasure they’ve given me over the years. I hope you enjoy them as well.
For you millennials who may read this post I’m giving you fair warning. I’m a eighty year old man who wants to tell you a story that will be a little sappy and hopefully a little funny but everything will be true. And before you start reading and rolling your eyes at what I say remember that I was much like you (a millennial) in the wild and wacky 1960’s when almost everything was always out of control. At that time I perfected that eye roll you’re probably still using today. Being alive in the sixties was a “trip” to say the least. Free love, an over abundance of drugs, with Rock & Roll as our mantra. My best friend and I were in constant trouble from stealing booze and cigarettes from our parents to the occasional visits from state and local police. We thought we had all the answers but were kept from getting really crazy by my ever so vigilant parents. I had my first official date and fell in love immediately until we were sidetracked by both her parents and mine who squashed our love like a bug. Then I crashed my fathers new car resulting in more eye rolling and some serious ass kicking. I decided then that maybe college would be a good change to let me live my life my way. I mean, how right could my parents be, they were over forty years old and obviously had no clue about things. So, I headed off to college to start my next millennial adventure . . .
College wasn’t an adventure but it was very strange. I was just one knucklehead in a rather large group of other knuckleheads trying to adjust to a life of freedom without parents. My biggest problem was adjusting from my father’s strict rules for everything to having no rules at all. I drank way too much and chased young ladies way too much, and learned almost nothing. I cut classes, constantly overslept and was a miserable failure as a student. In my third year I dropped out without alerting my parents and spent the remainder of the money I’d saved entertaining roommates and other friends (mainly females). But the damn college just had to go and notify my parents that I was a no-show and OMG were they irate (another huge parental eye roll). I returned home as a failed millennial with no money, no job, and two parents who would never let me forget what an ass I’d become.
Lets skip ahead to my enlistment in the Army, my time as a state police officer in Pennsylvania , getting married, finishing my bachelors degree, to getting an upper level management job with a national corporation, and finally retiring from the State of Maine’s Judicial Branch. My point is that if I can survive my millennial years, so can you. Truthfully, if you think about it everyone has a millennial period at some time in their life. It’s also true that human beings seem compelled to give everyone and everything a nickname (usually derogatory). There’s the Boomers (that’s me), the Gen X’ers, Gen Y’ers, and hundreds of others. It’s all just so much bullshit. Just remember this important fact. In a few years many of you will marry and have children. What will their nicknames be when they hit their millennial years and begin to drive you absolutely crazy? Some thing you can look forward to. It’s called the “Circle of Life”. LOL
I spend a moderate amount of my time reading, listening, and even watching some sports on TV or online. For me baseball is the absolute best. I fell in love with it at age 8 and that love affair continues to this day. I was born and raised in the Pittsburgh area but when it comes to baseball I favor no particular teams. It’s the skill of exceptional players that keeps me coming back. I thought today a short quiz of baseball trivia might interest some of you. Here are ten questions with the answers listed below. Have fun with it.
How man times did the “Father of Baseball” Abner Doubleday, mention the sport in his 67 diaries?
What baseball team introduced the sacrifice bunt, the squeeze play, the hit-and-run play, and the double steal?
Why did baseball manager Hal Lanier order all TV sets removed from the Houston Astro clubhouse in 1986?
What was the greatest number of homeruns hit in a single season by Ty Cobb, the Georgia Peach?
What famous sports commentator announced his first major league baseball game without ever having seen a game before?
FRED LYNN
What was baseball great, Stan Musial’s, advice to players trying to hit the spit ball?
What baseball playing brothers came in first and second in the race for the National League batting title in 1966?
What other two brothers hit home runs in the same World Series game?
Who was the only rookie in baseball history to be honored as rookie of the year and most valuable player in the same season?
What is the maximum length and thickness permitted for a major league baseball bat?
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Answers
Not once, The Baltimore Orioles, Player missed some practice because of watching the Wheel of Fortune, 12, Red Barber in 1934 for The Cincinnati Reds, “Hit it on the dry side.”, Matty .342 & Felipe Alou .327, Ken & Clete Boyers, Fred Lynn 1975, Length 43″ & Thickness 2 1/4″.
In keeping with the theme of this blog “everyuselessthing”, I thought a short history lesson was in order to supply readers with a little known trivia tidbit about NASA and the first moon landing. In 1969 Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the moon as we all know but were you aware that William Safire, President Nixon’s speechwriter, gave the president a draft of a speech he might have to give if the moon mission failed. It is claimed that the president never saw it. Here is a copy of that speech.
Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.
These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.
These two men are laying down their lives in mankind’s most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding. They will be mourned by their family and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.
In their exploration they stirred the people of the world to feel as one; in their sacrifice, they bind more tightly the brotherhood of man.
In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.
Others will follow, and surely find their way home, Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they remain the foremost in our hearts.
For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.
One final tidbit of irony. In 1999, on the 30th year anniversary of the moon landing, the three astronauts were shown this text for the first time by Tim Russert on Meet the Press.
This post is being written on Easter Sunday and should be considered a tongue-in-cheek horror story from my youth. It will also explain to readers why I have never celebrated Easter as would be expected. In my early childhood I was always confused by my parents when my mother claimed Easter was a religious holiday but the rest of the family loaded me up with chocolate bunnies, candy eggs, and plastic eggs in the yard containing quarters. I was greatly confused but truly enjoyed all the candy that eventually rotted out a few of my teeth.
When I reached the age of ten they decided to take a different approach to Easter. I still got all the candy and eggs but they added a few things to the mix. I received four baby chicks that immediately ran behind the refrigerator and refused to come out. Eventually they did but within two weeks they had all passed away and never even got an offer of an Easter resurrection. I was truly sad but I hadn’t had time to develop much of a relationship with them. I did give them a silent prayer and a beautiful burial ceremony as my father tossed them into a trash can. I forgot to mention one other thing. Along with those chicks I was also gifted two small white baby rabbits which I immediately fell in love with. They were so damn cute and cuddly.
Now, let’s jump ahead three years. Those cute little bunnies had grown into two huge white rabbits that were so big we were forced build a hutch in the yard for them to live in. I still loved them both but my father did not. He constantly complained about them being a nuisance but I wouldn’t let him sell or give them away. I came home from school one afternoon prepared to do my homework and then have dinner. As I sat down at the table I immediately noticed a large plate of steaming meat and was told by my father to “eat up”. I asked what kind of meat it was and he told that the two rabbits would no longer be a problem. He’d killed my bunnies and served them to me for dinner. Needless to say I went to bed hungry that night. Happy Effing Easter!
That pretty much erased Easter from the list of holidays I chose to celebrate. Even now I cringe a little when my spouse has the grandchildren over for their annual Easter egg hunt. They love finding the hidden eggs especially the plastic ones with money in them. My only requirement is “No Bunnies or Chicks” chocolate or otherwise. I’d have terrible nightmares for a week.
everyuselessthing.com 