Archive for the ‘Journal’ Category
I thought today I’d show you a few photographs I took during my travels yesterday. Even though it’s winter and freezing cold with snow piled just about everywhere, I needed to get away from the house for a few hours. I reverted to my old habits, took my camera, and began my search for some old cemeteries.
“A cold and wintery resting place.”
One of the things I like best about living in New England is the number of ancient cemeteries that are scattered throughout almost every community. It seems that every large family back in the 1600’s that owned property maintained a private cemetery for their family members. Almost all of them have survived but most are difficult to visit since they’re away from public roads and on private property.
“This shows how old the cemetery really is. These folks were buried here before those trees existed.”
I became quite the cemetery visitor when I lived in southern Massachusetts back in the 1980s. My ex-wife and I owned a small gift shop and as part of that business I painted landscapes of local cemeteries and sold them in the shop. For a time I could be found creeping around the older of the cemeteries with a supply of T-shirts to stretch over tombstones to do gravestone rubbings. A great many people thought the idea of owning a T-shirt with their family name on it was edgy and cool. They sold like hot cakes. On one occasion I was visited by the local police in a cemetery where they questioned me as to my activities. Fortunately I was able to explain things to them and avoided arrest. Within a week I had supplied one of those officers with his own personalized shirt and was never bothered again.
“The day was too bright and made the names difficult to capture.”
I just love cemeteries, the older the better. It’s a quiet and serene place to spend a hour relaxing and reading old epithets. Yesterday I found a few within a short drive from my home that were accessible and not covered in snow.
“I tweaked this photo with software but still couldn’t get the names readable.”
I can’t wait for the return of Spring and Summer weather so I can search out a few more of the isolated graveyards and add their photo’s to my collection.
There was a time time in my life when I was the ultimate night person. I slept all day and worked and played all night. After work I’d visit a variety of clubs and bars returning home in the wee hours of the morning. It was a great time in my life because everyone knows the best shit happens after dark in the middle of the night.
I worked those hours for more than five years. My job required visits to massage parlors (not officially as a patron), strip joints (not officially as a paying customer), and even the occasional brothel (again, not as a paying customer). I became educated very quickly to the unbelievable quantity of nightlife activities, how to enjoy them, and even more important, how to survive them.
The more things change the more they remain the same. All these years later I’m discovering a whole new word of nightlife here in Maine that I’ve been totally unaware of. We live in what could be called a rural area. Our home is adjacent to a small river and a large forest of pines. We live far enough out that without assistance from technology (range extender) we can’t receive cell phone signals and are not registering on most GPS devices. It’s like living in Never-Never Land. That being said, we love it. We thought that “wildlife” in this area was mostly confined to the Portland metro area and was low key and had a minimum of crime to deal with. How little we really knew.
Last night we had an unusual snow fall. It snowed for no more than twenty minutes and then stopped completely. There was just enough snow to cover everything in a pristine white sheet. We went to bed after the snow fall stopped and remarked to each other about how white and smooth the back yard seemed with the new snow cover. There wasn’t a mark of any kind on that snow.
We awoke this morning and walked to the window and were shocked at what we saw. It appears that our backyard is the night club for most of the “wildlife” in this area. These pictures will give you some idea of the night time traffic taking place in our back yard.
We live our lives giving little or no thought to the “life” swirling around us every day and night. I saw tracks of coyotes, deer, chipmunks, squirrels, one lonely turkey, a big fat skunk, and a trail left by that sneaky cat belonging to our neighbors. I’m not surprised too often but this was amazing. I guess that one day warming trend we were blessed with brought everyone out to celebrate.
I think I may have to pay a little more attention to what’s going on around me. With a good lens and a small night light I might just be able to get some really interesting photographs.
I’m sitting here this morning trying to decide whether leaving this warm bed is the smartest thing to do. The weather remains problematic as always and I’m not in the mood to deal with it today. It’s been in the deep freeze here for two weeks and it isn’t expected to warm up anytime soon. The only thing I know for sure is that I can’t spend the next two months in this bed as much as I’d like to.
I’ve been trying to be as careful as possible with all of the snow and ice we’ve been having. Now that my broken leg is almost healed I’m deathly afraid of slipping or falling and ending up back in the hospital. I’m walking very softly these days.
The better-half stumbled out of bed early today for another shopping safari with her daughter. It was unplanned but she responded immediately to the telephone call, rolled out of bed and hit the ground running. Nothing is more important than spending a little quality time with her grandson and shopping at the same time. If she’s lucky she may be completely awake by the time they arrive to pick her up but she’s like a zombie right now.
I began a small construction project this week which has been on hold because of this cold weather. I plan on removing a large window in our living room and I need at least three hours of warmer weather to do it. It shouldn’t take too long to remove the window, replace the missing studs and insulation and then close up the hole. I can finish the rest from the inside of the house in just a few hours of drywalling and painting. I must be out of my mind doing this in February. Why I didn’t I do it in September is beyond me. I’ll just sit around for another week or two waiting for a few hours of temperatures above the freezing mark. Hurry up and wait.
I have a quiet day planned for today but it never seems to work out that way. I need to spend at least forty five minutes on the dreaded treadmill before I do anything else. It’s been a huge help in rehabilitating my leg. It still amazes me how much a limb can deteriorate in such a short period of time. Another week should have my injured leg back to it’s normal size. Rebuilding lost muscle tissue is difficult and time consuming but must be done as quickly as possible.
Since the better-half has four days off I thought I’d surprise her with a night on the town. I have a few ideas of places to visit with the Great Lost Bear heading the list. It’s the best place in the Portland area where she can feed her ever increasing addiction to smoking hot chicken wings. They specialize in XXX wings that are hot enough to set your hair on fire. The second possibility is The Strike Zone located in Old Orchard Beach and their specialty is deep fried everything. It’s a typically small sports bar where deep fried foods are the rule of the day. My weight loss program will be at serious risk if we go there but OMG the food is delicious.
It’s time to get motivated and moving. I love Winter.
It’s a terrible thing to be bored. It’s doubly terrible when you’re in Maine and it’s Winter. It feels like being up in the air on the “Vomit Comet” flying very high, then diving straight down, and then pulling back up again to what is supposed to be normal. That weightlessness between dives in my mind is the ultimate boredom. You’re just floating around in a pointless manner, accomplishing nothing, and feeling even worse.
Maybe if you were like me and had a fifty year love affair with adrenaline, the ultimate aphrodisiac, it would help you to understand a little. Hang gliding, sky diving, bungee jumping, and smashing down doors to apprehend criminals or mental patients can in no way be considered boring. Defying death or serious injury was never the point for me. The point was experiencing the dangers and not giving a shit what happened. Putting your entire existence into the hands of fate and doing so with no regrets. Most people never get to that point and don’t really want to, unless they can feel the adrenaline rush without committing to the danger.
So you have your regular run-of-the-mill boredom and then there’s the adrenaline-free boredom which is even worse. I’m drifting through life living vicariously through my own past experiences to help keep my head above water. Unfortunately once you reach a certain age with all of the physical limitations that come with it, your choices become strictly limited. Writing a blog, painting a picture, sculpting, sketching, remodeling a home or even walking in the woods are a just a stupid laundry list of poor substitutes.
I actually attempted for a while to live vicariously through others but OMG what a mistake. Many of the people in my sphere of influence, not all of course, put me into a deathlike comma. They’re lives have taken boredom to new heights and they don’t know the difference since they have nothing to compare it to. I may sound a little harsh in my criticisms but so what.
So I’ll start another day writing this blog, walking a couple of miles on my treadmill, reading a book, watching some TV, petting my cat, and then walking outside and screaming at the top of my effing lungs. Now don’t you feel a hundred percent better about your life? You should.
Here are a few boring things from my list of thousands.
- Celebrity Worship
- Baseball (Except for Little League)
- Soccer (I don’t consider it a real sport.)
- Politics and Politicians (Pundits and Talk Shows too)
- Sermons (Religious or Otherwise)
- Musicals
- Shopping War Stories
- Vampires
- Werewolves
- “Wives of” (From any City. State, Country, or Planet)
- Sports
- Country Music
- Waiting Rooms
- Commercials of Any Kind
- Soap Operas
Well the weekend has passed without much of interest to talk about. I have to tell you though that taking Sundays off from my life is something I recommend highly for anyone to try. No exercising, no blogging and no dieting. As always I remind you that Sunday as a day of rest for me is not a religious leftover from my childhood. It just happens to fit into my strangely scheduled current lifestyle.
We had another eight inches of snow through the night which meant I was to spend at least a half hour with my favorite motorized friend, the snowblower. The snow was wet and heavy and a real pain in the ass to deal with. I did it quickly so my better-half could access the outside world and then I returned to my day-off. I snapped a few pictures around the house of this storm because the snow was sticking to everything and made for some interesting photos.
The weather has warmed a little which brings out the visiting birds in large numbers. We feed them regularly but in frigid weather they become scarce. Since we live in a forested area we have three or four generations of woodpeckers that stay with us all winter. We place suet out for them because they’re the most successful in pecking it apart when it’s frozen.
They’ve been flying in and out in shifts so often they’re averaging one suet container a week. It apparently keeps them healthy and makes living through the winter months a little easier.
I then decided to leave the warm bosom of my house to explore the neighboring area for a few photo’s of the snow scenes. Here are three that should give you a better idea about what Maine is like in winter.
It’s now Monday morning and I’m back on the treadmill for a mile or two of good heath and exhaustion. The better-half’s loving the new slimmer me but I think it’s just her way of motivating me a little more. Either way it’s a win/win.
You know, there is a time in your life when you’re forced to deal with getting older. It’s a little difficult because mentally we all still feel like we’re in our twenties. As in growing up there’s a process that you must experience and when growing down (aging) you must again go through a somewhat similar but more depressing process, like it or not. I think it’s just a way for us to slowly over time confront and accept the reality of our mortality.
It really began to bother me a few years ago when I received an email from a former high school class president requesting I attend my 45th high school reunion. I read the email and never seriously thought about attending. You see, I hated high school and really had no desire to see any of my former classmates. I had two close friends during those years and both have passed away. The first died just months after graduation in a nasty car accident and the second died about twelve years ago during liver transplant surgery. Any old girlfriends with their accompanying sexual adventures have long since been forgotten.
I was given a webpage to visit created by my old classmates that had updated information on just about everyone in the class. I took a look around the site and the only thing that caught my eye was the death list. It was a huge shock to see that almost forty percent of my graduating class had passed away. It was surprising but not totally unexpected. I adjusted over time to the shock and began to deal with the reality of it. I never attended any of my class reunions that were held over the years because I preferred to remember my classmates as they were and not be slapped in the face with the new reality of what they are now. Too damn depressing.
Time goes on and age continues to creep up on you. You can see and feel the physical changes as they occur and you adjust. Aches and pains continue to worsen and again you adjust. You spend a great deal of your life adjusting to changes that you knew were coming but really didn’t take all that seriously. It’s a slow and never-ending shadow in the back of your mind that you try to ignore but can’t. Every time you have a quiet moment it pops up to let you know the process is continuing.
You’re probably wandering what prompted this depressing monologue so let me explain. Yesterday I was given some news that at first didn’t shock or surprise me but later kept coming back to haunt me. My ex-wife of many years had remarried shortly after our divorce and had given birth to a son. We’d been divorced a couple of years but she still made the effort to meet with me because she wanted to introduce me to the boy. She and I had tried for years to have children but could not. We met for just a few brief minutes and I held the little guy in my arms for just an instant. Before I knew it they were gone and I never saw either of them again. That little baby boy now 31 years old had just died from a lethal drug overdose.
Life as always goes on but it was just another reminder of how quickly and easily life can be taken from us. Sorry about the depressing post but I needed to tell someone about it. No one is exempt from this aging process and I’ve done my part to remind all of you of that fact. Live your life to the fullest every blessed day. It could end tomorrow.
It’s time for a little update. My life will seem utterly boring to some of you but I don”t really mind. It’s actually boring to me at times as well. Since the holidays have passed things have fallen back into what we consider normal.
The weather has turned warmer and that 38 inches of snow is mostly gone since we’ve had three or four days of steady rain. It’s the normal January thaw and we actually look forward to it each year. Yesterday I was quietly sitting in my favorite reading chair when I heard a loud crash that shook the entire house. I first thought it was another small earthquake but decided to check outside the house for any other possible problems. Silly me, another on of our January gifts had arrived.
Having three or four feet of snow buildup eventually places a serious load onto the structure of the house. Once the weather warms up a little all of that ice and snow that’s been compacting on the roof for two months begins sliding off. I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal but we have a large house with an equally large roof. The roof accumulated approximately 8 inches of ice and another 8 inches of partially melted snow. When it let go it shook the house and spilled off the rear of the building into the yard. There is no doubt if that amount of ice and snow were to hit a person they would be dead almost immediately.
I walked out back and discovered that my spring chores would now include replacement of the handrails on the back stairs. The ice and snow landed with a crunch and smashed the handrails into small splinters. It sounds bad but almost every year the icefall crushes those rails or anything else in it’s path. Thank God it’s down and no longer a danger to us or our visitors. It just another wonderful little gift from Mother Nature.
My broken leg situation has greatly improved. I climbed back on the treadmill wearing both an ankle and knee brace three weeks ago and got back to work. It took almost three weeks of daily workouts to get my injured leg back to normal size. I needed to build quite a bit of muscle very quickly. The knee is improving as well and it appears there was no permanent damage. I’m almost back to the level on the treadmill that I had reached before the injury.
The weight loss program is back as well and I’ve reach a total loss of thirty pounds. The leg injury really screwed up things for a while but I’m back on track finally. Ten more pounds to go and then I can ease up a little. I’m now wearing clothes I purchased many years ago that I never was able to wear at the time. Life is good, so far . . . .
It’s been another interesting few days. My favorite schizophrenic bitch, Mother Nature, has returned with a vengeance once again. Maine is already well known as being a weather nightmare with constantly changing conditions but it seems to have gotten a bit worse in recent months. Let me explain just a bit.
Four days ago we were in the midst of a blizzard and over the course of a week we received approximately 3- 4 feet of snow. The snow was bad enough but then the temperatures dipped to a really tropical -25° and it wasn’t pretty. I’m not even taking into consideration the wind-chill factor at the time which took the “feel like” temps even lower.
I’ve said on many occasions that I love winter and I love snow but OMG this has been ridiculous. Fortunately those of us living in Maine are normally well prepared for cold weather more than many other places in the country. That being said it’s still difficult to function outdoors during subzero weather regardless of how prepared you think you are.
We waited for a few days for the weather to break and for temperatures to rise to a reasonable level but yet again Mother Nature had other plans. The temperature did rise into the mid 30s which was a relief for everyone because the worry of frozen water pipes finally disappeared. I rolled out of bed as I normally do the next morning and thought I was dreaming. It was raining so hard I thought I was imagining things but I wasn’t. As the rain continued for almost a full day it began to melt the snow and the combination of the two water sources brought an immediate rash of flash flood warnings. Just what we needed to keep things interesting.
After all that, last night after the rain stopped, I walked out of my garage and found my driveway to be suitable for a professional hockey game. All that water and slush had frozen solid and was as hard as concrete. It was then I decided to listen to the experts and I returned to the house, closed the door, turned up the heat and turned on the television. Thank God for our electric blanket is all I can say. I found myself over the last few days spending a lot of time in bed watching TV because it’s the only place in the house that was warm and comfortable enough.
The recent forecasts indicate little or no relief in sight which is the last thing any of us wanted to hear. We’re certainly not alone since most of the country is suffering from similar weather conditions or worse. It’s time to dig into the closet and find those ugly old long-johns, wool socks, and knit caps. There’s nothing more attractive and sexy than climbing into bed with your better-half wearing everything including a parka with a big furry hood and insulated gloves. That’s a centerfold picture no one wants to see.
The wind is howling outside the window as I’m writing and we’re all waiting patiently for the next surprise from good old Mother Nature. Maybe locust! Stay safe and stay warm and welcome to the new Ice Age.
P.S. Bye the way, here’s a big one finger salute to all of you “Global Warning” idiots.
Another night of weird dreams. I said WEIRD not WET, so get your mind out of the gutter. Over the years I’ve slowly and steadily learned to love my dreams. Everyone loves to take a nap or to sleep soundly through the night but not me. If I don’t have a really good dream as well I’m truly disappointed. I’ve developed the ability over time to remember my dreams and what is even more amazing is returning to an old dream on multiple occasions I remember streets and directions in these dreams making it possible for me to visit them again and and again and actually know my way around. It sounds stupid but it’s really pretty cool.
As I sit here this morning I began to let my love of science fiction kick in. I’m looking for answers as to why dreams are the way they are. How can it be possible for a human mind to create places and people we’ve never known and then revisit them multiple times in dreams. I understand that seeing, meeting, and talking with people from our past in dreams is possible. We carry millions of subconscious memories in our brain that are available for it’s use. Can the brain actually create these weird stories filled with even weirder people without any help from our conscious self? If it can’t then it takes this discussion to a whole new level.
We’ve all seen the movies, The Matrix and Avatar, and enjoyed them. Let me throw this idea out there. Maybe our brain really isn’t creating these scenarios at all. Can it be possible that the life we live and perceive to be our reality is anything but. Could this reality be nothing more than a giant computer generated program populated with we humans who are nothing more than avatars being used by someone else in their own reality. Maybe the portions of our dreams we don’t understand are just fragments of memories from the host person or thing whose avatar we are. They’re living our lives through us and when they’ve finished playing their weird little game they exit from the program and go about their lives. During that down-time is when we in our reality get to sleep and dream. Our brain retains fragments of their lives and combines them with our own for really strange and sometimes scary dreams and nightmares.
It would explain a lot of things that I have questions about. In fact it would be very similar to those computer generated role playing games on the Internet in this reality. People have become so immersed in them at times that their real lives and relationships have been adversely effected. Those computer generated lives become so real to them that their real lives become secondary causing a serious shift in their reality. Is that what’s happening when we dream? Is that why I have dreams and relationships in my dreams with people and places I’ve never experienced in this reality? I really don’t have the answers but I really enjoy asking the questions and exploring the possibilities.
That’s how my mind spent a few minutes this morning while my better-half was droning on about her schedule for the day. I was deep into this train of thought and almost got myself in serious trouble when I was accused of not paying attention to her. Maybe when she reads this it will give her a better understanding of how weird my mind works at time and not to take it so personally.
Well, the New Year is upon us and all the partying is hopefully over. I wish I had a dollar for every celebrator who made the infamous Walk of Shame is the last two days. I’d be stinking rich I think.
I’m told that now is the time for reflection on the past year both good and bad. It’s supposed to give us a better perspective on things and to help us improve in 2014. I honestly think that’s nonsense but for laughs I continue to go along.
Here’s a quick recap of my last three months. Please don’t get overly excited you might just hurt yourself. As we get into the December remembrances I’ve added a few photo’s to help you understand.
OCTOBER
Grandson’s Birthday Party
One Year Blog Anniversary
A Broken Leg
NOVEMBER
Way Too many Doctor’s Visits
Thanksgiving
Sister’s Birthday
God Daughter’s Birthday
DECEMBER
Better-Half’s Mother’s Birthday
SNOW
ICE
More Doctors Appointments
More SNOW
More ICE
Christmas Eve Dinner
Much More SNOW
ICE Storm
Christmas
Much Much More Effing SNOW
Effing Black ICE
New Years Eve
SNOW
New Years Day
MORE SNOW
What have I learned from all of this? One thing immediately comes to mind . . . SPEND THE FREAKING WINTER IN FLORIDA ! ! !
One last photograph for your enjoyment. I took this from my car so it’s not as sharp as I’d like but this guy was hauling ass at the time. One of the last few remaining survivors from the Great Thanksgiving Day Turkey Massacre of 2013. Now you know why he’s running so fast.
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like all the damn snow either.
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